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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 10:46:35 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
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as human beings we need to have some sort of attraction to our mates...we don't just copulate and move on...if that was all there was to it, all that would be required would be the necessary body parts....but since we form relationships with our mates, we need things like emotional and mental and physical stimulation....and in an enviorment such as this...the only physical stimulation we have (from others, anyway) is visual...so...that the first thing that attracts a person to another person is their physical looks is their picture...umm duh! it's human nature and mathmatics....sorry...but if it never gets beyond that, then there is a problem....

and i am a cute fat chick...CFC...ozone safe...

chelle

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 11:47:33 AM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
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Thank you all for your replies, and I am sorry the discussion got so heated... Do I need to put somebody in the corner? lol I appreciate all of the replies and advice. I think I was being a bit too judgemental in the OP and I will not take offense so easily. Thank you all

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 11:55:36 AM

everhope

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Joined: 8/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

and i am a cute fat chick...CFC...ozone safe...
chelle

good one, chelle
i have used this one myself.

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 12:01:43 PM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
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Personally I have not seen a woman on this thread that is not beautiful. I have met a few on this site that completely make my skin crawl, but that is their attitude, not their outward appearance. I hope you all find what you are looking for and I'm so happy for those that already have. Thank you all

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Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken.
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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 12:37:03 PM

dragonnette

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Joined: 8/22/2005
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I'm another one of those fat chicks. I've recently lost 30some odd pounds but I'm still fat. I do not mind if my appearance is what sparks initial interest. But for anything to really develop, the person really has to like and accept all the rest of me as well! I am not a trophy.

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 12:50:42 PM

Deboyce

Posts: 36
Joined: 7/1/2007
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Dragonnette: You write: "I am not a trophy." I rarely respond to posts on the board but I found myself overwhelmed by your comment. Of course you are a trophy, what emits from within cannot be denied not even by you. Paint yourself with a broader strokes woman, your value is as great as is anyones.

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/20/2007 9:01:48 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Why would I get offended at someone blowing their chances with someone they claim to want but obviously have no real skill to get?

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/21/2007 3:03:10 AM

LillithWithin

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/19/2005
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This has probably been said a few times, but there are always going to be folks attracted to a particular physical attribute, whether it's a woman's particular shape, a guy's particular hair length, someone's nipple color, or countless other outward characteristics.

If someone's only interested in one aspect of you, whether it's your size, the shape of your nose, the color of your toenails -- whatever -- then they're clearly not a compatible partner. If they've made their myopic focus clear in their first email, then they're probably also a bit of an ass with questionable communication skills.

I don't usually get offended by this sort of person, I just disregard them. Occasionally there'll be a whole passel of single-minded messages in a row, at which point I do get a bit annoyed but it's not usually about their attraction, it's a respect and communication issue.

I make a point of saying that I'm a BBW in my profile because everyone has preferences and dislikes, and I prefer that everyone be gung-ho about who they're interacting with, particularly since I don't carry my weight in my face so if someone only looked at my headshot, they might not realize how heavy I am. While I don't get naked in front of 99.7% of the submissives I've played with, I prefer that there be some modicum of physical attraction -- in both directions. Having the phrase BBW in my profile helps make sure there are fewer surprises when we meet.

Anyhoo -- you asked for advice, so here's my bleary, 6am no-coffee-having advice: if someone makes you uncomfortable or comes across in a disrespectful manner during their initial communication, use the delete function.

After taking a peek at your profile, it makes sense that it might ruffle your feathers. If the abuse you mention was physical then there are going to be extra issues wrapped around people relating only to you physicality and it's likely that you're more sensitive to being objectified than someone who hadn't suffered abuse.

The advice remains the same. If someone likes your size AND your personality, sweet! If they're only focusing on one aspect, continue to protect yourself and decline interaction.

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RE: A question for those that Identify as BBWs - 11/21/2007 5:34:12 AM

wolfsprincess

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

This is not meant to inflame, as I am also a BBW, But I personally take offense when a man is only interested in my body size. If a man comes up to you, be he Dom or Vanilla, and seems only interested in the fact that you are a BBW and not your mind, or anything else, Do you get Offended? Am I being overly easy to upset? I don't mind being accepted as a BBW or even having someone like that. It just bothers me when a guy seems to not care about anything but yout size. I feel like a skinny girl complaining about guys not caring about anything but how they look... Could anybody give me some advice on this?

Whether i'm the size of "Twiggy" or "Mama Cass", it doesn't change the fact that most men i've ever come in contact with are visually stimulated. It's just one of the many "physical" characteristics that attract a man's attention to a woman.
And if you think about it, W/we ALL have certain preferences for body types. i, for instance, prefer men who have dark hair, dark complexion, and are over 5'7.
Once the physical attraction has brought two people together, then is their chance to get to know one another on the inside - the mind, the heart, etc.
But if it's ONLY the body they're interested in .... well, i'm a person because of what's on the INside, not because of what size bra i wear. To me, it's not worth getting upset over.

Does this make sense or do i need to go back to bed?
princess
"...slave isn't just a word - it's who and what i am ... walking forever in His light and seeking shelter in His shadow"
http://absoluteslavery.com
http://polypersonalsonline.com

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princess
"...slave isn't just a word - it's who and what i am ... walking forever in His light and seeking shelter in His shadow"
http://absoluteslavery.com

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