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crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:32:09 AM

serisa

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Joined: 9/28/2007
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Hi

i have heard some Doms do not like subs to cross their legs when seated on furniture, does anyone know if this is true and if their are any other similar things to this that a Dominant may require ?

Thanks

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:38:00 AM

kyraofMists

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I am sure that there are some dominants who do not like that. Alandra and I are allowed to cross our legs.

Some of the small things that we are not allowed to do... cross our arms over our chest, stick our tongue out, put our hair behind our ears (this is a hard one for me, a habit I am learning to break), say "you are welcome". Those are some off the top of my head.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:39:07 AM

BBWnNC72

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i can't speak for others, but i have never been told i couldn't sit with my legs crossed. i like sitting with one leg under me most of the time and it doesn't seem to bother Him.
but then every Dom is different.
i have hear the some require a sub to ask for permission to use the bathroom, the wear panties, keep shaved or trimmed, eat even, sleep in the bed, the list can go on and on.
the key is it find some one with likes and dilikes, rules and regulations that closely match yours.
if you would hate to be made to keep the bathroom door open while using the restroom and He requires it and won't back down, then rethink that relationship, small things like that add up and we don't have to settle for anything just as They don't have to settle.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:41:30 AM

Archer

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There is no such thing as a universal like or dislike as far as how one kneels, sits stands holds their eyes, walks, talks, sleeps, or even takes care of their bodily functions. The sooner you divest yourself of the idea that there are universal protocols that are enjoyed the more you will enjoy your time.

I've always told folks if they follow the very basic ettiquette found in Emily Post, or Miss Manners they will be seen as head and shoulders above the norm.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:42:24 AM

ctrlaltdelete

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Yes, I have always had a hard rule against my girls crossing their legs underneath them, especially when sitting on the commode.

Seriously - there is no rule of thumb and it will come down to preference and the level of choreographed rituals that any Dom/Master prefers. I would expect you see more rules like this in Gorean circles than elsewhere.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:50:30 AM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

Hi

i have heard some Doms do not like subs to cross their legs when seated on furniture, does anyone know if this is true and if their are any other similar things to this that a Dominant may require ?

Thanks

Are you sure that was it? Or were they just playing a rousing game of "Simon says"?

Honestly... other than respect and obedience, my Master doesn't give me a laundry list of nit picky little don'ts ... I guess He would rather my attention, and focus be on Him.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:52:43 AM

subsfaith

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I have heard of doms instructing the no crossing legs rule. It is a great and simple technique of reinforcing the control of the Master, even in their absence.

The crossing of legs is automatic for most people in a sitting position, so to be mentally reminded of who owns you ever time you sit down can be a powerful tool.

I am interested to hear thoughts from anyone who has been instructed to do this, and my question would be, did the task lose potency over time?

But to the OP's question, is this true? Yes, for some doms, however I believe it to be in the minority. And yes, there are lots of other things you can do in their company and out of their that will remind you of your place.

Faith

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 11:53:29 AM

toservez

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I echo what others have said. All human beings are unique and can be many more rules like these then dominants on this planet. If a rule benefits one person in the relationship then it is a good rule for people in that relationship. I do not have that rule now but had something similar with my first owners. To me this is a classic rule of a Master always having easy access to their submissive private area that sounds right when the relationship is measured in weeks but probably not years.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:02:08 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
I guess He would rather my attention, and focus be on Him.

And what a wonderful way to reinforce his authority and keep my mind focused on him and who I am to him than to take a habitual behavior and forbid me to do it. Each time I start to perform the behavior, I have to recall him and the authority he has in my life so that I don't do the behavior. It takes an act that typically has little thought to it and infuses it with his will and puts my thoughts on him. Each time I go to put my hair behind my ears, I think of him and that he is the one with the authority in my life.

Just another way to look at it what you described as "nit picky".

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:03:41 PM

MasterFireMaam

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I suppose there are Doms who like this. I wouldn't worry about it as it's a small detail that will be an individual choice. If you're curious about it, as your potential Dominant what he or she prefers. I don't have it...but then, I have mine sit on the floor whenever possble (i.e. given the right surroundings).

Master Fire

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:13:51 PM

proudsub

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I'm not allowed to cross my legs, but it's to keep from dislocating my new hip.

I have also heard this is a pretty common rule for doms.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:15:15 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
Are you sure that was it? Or were they just playing a rousing game of "Simon says"?
Honestly... other than respect and obedience, my Master doesn't give me a laundry list of nit picky little don'ts ... I guess He would rather my attention, and focus be on Him.

What is nit picky to one is an intimate sense of awareness to another.

Respect and Obedience, in my case, includes having an awareness of self and of how I present myself to him, doing so in a manner most pleasing to him.

I am not to cross my legs. I am to be open to him at all times, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and metaphorically. It adds to our connection.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:31:09 PM

liminalRapture

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Wasn't it in The Story of O along with not sitting on her skirt? I think anything in that book takes on a certain level of assumed prevalence, even if it isn't the least bit common.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:38:40 PM

Focus50

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At the risk of generalising (gasp), the only universal rule of protocol is whatever YOUR Dominant wants from *you*.

Like most Dom/mes, I've got a set of protocols (read: personal choices) that I require of my girl and most are framed around my ideals of what's feminine and sexy. The crossing of legs under furniture is not one of mine, but I can appreciate where its come from....

Focus.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:45:02 PM

Estring

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I don't allow my slave to cross her legs. I don't know that that is a universal thing, but at a munch we attended once, quite a few of the other girls sat with legs open as well.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 12:53:26 PM

Masterslena

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hello

my Dominant has always told me not to worry about what others do...simply to concentrate on His wishes and wants and the rest will follow...

i am allowed on the furniture with Him when invited or when i ask permission and He says yes...i sit by His side or at His feet on the floor all other times...i eat at the table beside Him but He sometimes feels like feeding me...i am allowed to cross my legs or sit how i choose unless He instructs me otherwise...i am to always pay attention to His needs (refresh His drink, take away dirty dishes, etc)...i am not allowed to cover myself when nude...i am to ask permission to go to the washroom...when He is present i am to ask permission to orgasm...i am to get my daily tasks and chores done...when out at a restaurant, i am not allowed to speak with the serving staff and must direct my answers to Him...i am not allowed to close myself off physically or mentally from Him...

...and i love it all!

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 1:03:55 PM

FRSguy

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I dont allow my sub to cross her legs... She has a nice muff and it disrupts the view wether she is wearing clothing or not.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 1:48:48 PM

hisannabelle

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greetings serisa,

he actually finds it rather sexy for women to cross their legs...i am also very flexible and like to sit in strange cross-legged positions and usually he doesn't mind it or thinks it's attractive. so no, i haven't heard much about this rule. i can understand the reasoning behind it, but i've never had to follow it.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 2:18:47 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
Are you sure that was it? Or were they just playing a rousing game of "Simon says"?
Honestly... other than respect and obedience, my Master doesn't give me a laundry list of nit picky little don'ts ... I guess He would rather my attention, and focus be on Him.

What is nit picky to one is an intimate sense of awareness to another.

Respect and Obedience, in my case, includes having an awareness of self and of how I present myself to him, doing so in a manner most pleasing to him.

I am not to cross my legs. I am to be open to him at all times, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and metaphorically. It adds to our connection.

I agree....if that works for you and your Dom I think its awesome....

Edited to add: I would actually like to tell you why I think you and your Dom are "awesome" for doing things Y'alls own way....because you and he are another shade in the rainbow....another color of the spectrum...and I think thats neet.

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 11/21/2007 2:41:19 PM >

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RE: crossing legs - 11/21/2007 2:51:11 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: serisa

Hi

i have heard some Doms do not like subs to cross their legs when seated on furniture, does anyone know if this is true and if their are any other similar things to this that a Dominant may require ?

Thanks

I'm sure at least one dominant out there doesn't like their submissive to cross their legs. I usually sit in a half lotus position when possible because I find it to be the most comfortable. Years of conditioning from sitting in a martial arts studio probably. When I wear a skirt I cross my legs. As of yet, Valyraen has not given me any instructions as to how I am to sit, simply an overall instruction that no one is to be able to look up my skirt and see what is his. How I accomplish that is up to me.

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