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Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you collar a submissive?


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Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you collar... - 11/22/2007 10:49:05 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		I have never collared a submissive, or even come close to collaring someone.
I really hope I find someone that I love and want to collar before I leave this earth.
 

 
How long does it take you to ask a potential submissive to wear your collar, and
how long will you as a submissive be willing to accept a collar?

Collaring to me is similar to marriage, and I don't take it lightly.
But then, I don't take any of my serious relationships, lightly.
Personally, I don't think I would ever consider offering a collar to a submissive that
I had known less than 6 months to a year.
Be gentle with your answers, I am a delicate flower.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:03:45 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		As with most things here MzMia, the answer is very subjective and determined by the relationship and parties in it.  I think having goals in the relationship and agreed upon things that you are working towards might be a good measuring stick. 

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:14:11 AM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Wait at least an hour after you first meet.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:17:48 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		lol, why wait that long?
Many collar online before they even meet!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:20:13 AM   
Lkg4MstrSacramen


Posts: 27
Joined: 10/15/2007
Status: offline 		Mis Mia,

It would seem to me that the appropriate time to give a collar to another would be at the time you realize you don't want to be on earth another day without them close or connected to you in some permament way. YMMV, just my opinion.


_____________________________

the purest love lies in unattachment...deepka chopra

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:23:28 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Happy Thanksgiving MzMia.

When that little thermometer thing pops up, their ready for collaring.

Seriously, somehow I think a wise woman like yourself will know.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:30:30 AM   
jesiul


Posts: 111
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		I would guess it would depend on what a collar symbolizes to you. In your case it is the same commitment as a wedding ring. However for some it is similar to an engagement ring, stating committed but not married, yet for others it is merely a way of conveying that one’s current status is “Off the market” so to speak.
No matter what a collar symbolizes to you, whether wearing one or giving one, it is a form of commitment to a relationship.
Personally, I would not think of accepting any form of collar without living with my potential other for at least three months. That said, it takes a great leap of faith for me to even want to move in with someone, because that is also a large step of commitment.

~jesi~

_____________________________

*When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with.*

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:33:16 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		Never.

I don't follow fantasy protocols dreamed up by hack writers.

If it works, you stay together-if it doesn't- you don't.


_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:34:16 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Aww thanks, I think I will know.
Just wondering if it will ever happen.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 11:36:28 AM   
MrSpectacular


Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		To me it does not matter when or how - you could say i am collar blind  haha



_____________________________

Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 12:17:18 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have been involved in an active BDSM scene in two cities for well over a decade. Having been an active leader in the scene, I pretty much had my pick of women. I have been with six women long enough to consider collaring them.  I tend to be slow to consider someone in the first place but then race hellbent into a relationship once I decide.   The one time in my life I collared someone I placed it on her neck the first night we were together and we were together for over three wonderful and horrible years.  Neither of us knew enough to make it work at the time but we did have amazing chemistry together. 

I have grown immensely since then but some things don't change.  I waited a long time to fall head over heels in love with someone again but am of course rushing headlong into it.  This time however, I have the skills to make it work and have been blessed with a partner with whom I am creating a relationship greater than either of us alone.  That said we have been together nearly a year and if all goes well, it will be another one before she wears my collar.  I know people who have waited years to collar their partner and I would bet that the longer it takes to collar someone the greater the chance that collar is there forever.

(in reply to MrSpectacular)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 12:26:19 PM   
Qithoras


Posts: 155
Joined: 4/28/2006
From: Adelaide, Australia
Status: offline 		Either she would have to be perfection, or still around after 8 - 12 months. Give or take a bit depending on the situation.

_____________________________

Knowing others is intelligence.
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength.
Mastering yourself is true power.

-Tao Te Ching

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 12:33:13 PM   
NCNutCase


Posts: 129
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jesiul

I would guess it would depend on what a collar symbolizes to you.


I think Jesiul hit the nail on the head…

Since “collared” does not hold a ‘true’ definition like married or engaged do… it is up to the individuals to define the term prior to making the commitment.

I have ‘collared’ a couple girls who I was offering experiences, guidance and ‘protection’ to and that collar meant one thing…

And I’ve collared a girlfriend and that collar meant something totally different.

My current girlfriend/submissive is not technically collared yet we are planning marriage.

Collaring someone does not mean much to me, as to me the value is in the relationship, not the title. Yet I understand others may put value on the title and I wouldn’t deny someone a collar who deserves it and I would honor the definition we put on the collar.

I suggest we all define what we think a collar means, then when we enter into a relationship with someone we discuss our views with them.

There are a number of things a collar should not represent or be used for and this should apply to everyone… but the things it should stand for are different for many different people…

One of the most complicated things about this lifestyle is also one of it’s biggest beauties… the fact that there is so little definition in it. It is so diverse that we would simply be limiting it’s potential if we tried…

(in reply to jesiul)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 12:58:36 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I don't collar submissives, only trainees and slaves.

Training in my household is a minimum 2.5 months, weekly training sessions, long period and ends with us both evaluating each other. This developed for me after years of doing all of this BDSM stuff. It works for and for my family.

I don't expect it to work for anyone else.

In all honesty only time and experience will give you the information you need to know what is correct for you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 1:03:31 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		I am a sub but if i may put my two cents in. I would want to be kollared/collared (sp?) by somebody that was my best friend, lover, had the same sense of humor,
joy of life, same goals or similiar, liked/loved the same things. The list would be endless. I wouldn't consider a collar until i had met them, dated for 6 months or more.
I would want to make sure i knew everything i possibly could to avoid a really bad relationship as i have seen mentioned on some of these boards.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 1:05:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My current submissive accepted My collar after about three months.  That's quick by a lot of people's standard.  In fact, it's rather fast for My own standard, but the pace was sped up due to the particular situation that W/we share.  Without going into great lengthy details, it's sufficient to say that the circumstances encouraged things move a little faster than I would normally have taken.
 
If you knew you didn't have all of the time in the world, would you seize the opportunity that you had in front of you today?  Some of U/us do.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to NCNutCase)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 3:15:33 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		How long would you wait to ask somoene to marry you? Under what conditions would you do this? It's not much different for a collar, if you view it like a marriage. I asked my ist husband to marry me a few months after we'd been dating. We made is official about six months later and got married about a year after we started dating. The marriage lasted about 10 years. With my second husband, he asked me and I insisted on a year's enagagement and time living together first. That marriage lasted about 4 years with three years of addtion commitment before.

anne waited a year before petitioning for a collar. she's been collared for almost two. I've stated to michelle that we had to get through at least six months of living across the country before I'd even seriously talk about a collar petition. I took back the collar, by mutual agreement, I'd given jason about a month after we met. We are still in a relationship, but it's nowhere near the depth that I'd need to accept a petition from him at the moment.

So, it's very individual. Go with your gut...and temper your heart and body with reality.

Master Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 3:50:07 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		6 mos to a year  that is the honey moon period of any relationship 

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 6:07:47 PM   
angelslave77


Posts: 478
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		I would agree that it depends what it means to you personally.
To me accepting a collar is a way of saying I am off the market or our retionship is "exclusive" to steal a 'nilla term.  I still pinch myself  sometimes wondering if it is real but I guess regardless of nilla, kink or whatever sometimes you just meet an amazing person and fall completely and totally in love and after that whether you talk about commitment in terms of engaement, marriage, collars, binding ceremonies, it all comes down to the same thing, something inside just knows it is right and time becomes irrelevant. I think an earlier poster hit it on the head when they said "when you dont want to spend another day on earth without them close or connected."

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/22/2007 7:56:23 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		If a collar is analogous to a marriage, how long would you wait before proposing to someone?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 20
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