RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you collar a submissive?

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 9:23:17 AM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I would tell my sub the same thing....If there is a God above hopefully she will buy into it....You see, Illinois is not a common law state.....For some reason they just don't recognize a collar as being all that meaningful.....

(After a ten year relationship Domiguy kicks subsusie to the curb) subsusie shows up in court and though she can't seem to stop crying manages to whimper to the judge...."But he gave me this" The Judge leans over his bench and stares into her shaking hands..."What is that you are clutching?".....subsusie continues on while wiping the snot from her face,.. " Why it's a shotgun!" Suddenly without warning Subsusie rises up, displaying a strength she didn't even know she had and shoots the big bad mean ol Domiguy in the nads. The judge nods approvingly, quite aware apparently that they are after all in Illinois and it isn't a common law state, so... it's all good.

note: no actually DG where harmed in the making of this ficticious little tale...
Subsusie, whoever you are, if you are offended, can tell on me allllll you want....

(in reply to domiguy)

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 9:26:23 AM

octavia

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On a more serious note,
I think the most important thing is that the people involved be on the same page and functioning with the same definiton. I think collars are just like rings, they can mean all kinds of stuff or they can mean nothing. A collar is nothing more than a item commonly used as a symbol.

That being said, I still think they damn sexy.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 9:50:34 AM

GrizzlyBear

Posts: 278
Joined: 3/26/2004
From: Missoula Montana
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To begin with, I don't "offer" a collar, they must beg for it. A collar means a commitment, but what sort of commitment may vary. A collar is a symbol, buts its meaning is not really agreed upon like say a wedding ring. I believe a collar means what the two who exchange it agree that it means. Therefore, unlesss its put on for an evening of play, a collar of mine comes with a contract that spells out what it means.

Rings have various meanings too. It may mean that she has been accepted into training as a potential slave, that is sort of the equivalent of what "going steady" and giving a class ring was in high school. Do kids still do that? It may (someday) mean she is my property forever.

If its a fashion statement/gift, then its just a piece of leather to wrap around her neck If its one I made for sale, then the buyer will attach whatever symbolism to it they choose.

To answer your original question, when they feel they are ready they will beg. If I feel they are ready, I will give them what they desire.

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GrizzlyBear

"Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came. He pushed them. And they flew.
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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 10:18:07 AM

YesMistressIrish

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

Collar Schmoller. I just toss them in the basement and chain them to a pole. I don't need no stinkin collar. Although it helps to make sure they're lonely orphans who won't be missed by anyone.

More seriously....I was with someone for almost 7 years and never collared him. Tattooed? Yes. Pierced? Yes. Another I was with for 2 years and collared him after 6 months. I think it depends on the relationship itself and the individuals involved.

I've had a bit of a belated Turkey day celebration with a skoosh too much Pinot Noir.

I am waving hello to the spirited Ms. Jo!
I love your spunk, young lady!
Well, everyone is not into collaring, I can understand that.
But it is still something I would love to do one day, and as hard as I have been busting
my behind lately Ms Jo, I will make him my household work slave instead of throwing
him into the basement!

Sheesh... I only throw the ones I'm going to eat the brains out of in the basement.

If I actually ever found one that would be that ideal male wife I would collar him in a heartbeat.

Jo and Mz Mia: Good to see you both chatting away.

I had one I knew I would collar last month. I missed him by one week! lol. He is 'The one who got away' Another Domme in another state knew he was coming to me, and she collared him instantly upon his arrival at her door! he was flying out to me the next week.

Np: I have found a couple of other subs who are already asking me to collar them. I felt an instant connection and delight in dominating both of them.

Right now life is extraordinarily good and I am feeling appreciative and grateful for new and old friends.

A bunch of us are going out dancing today. Should be blast.

Irish
ps: I don't have a basement, so I think I'll tie 'em up to the cross in my backyard or throw 'em in my dungeon cage.

< Message edited by YesMistressIrish -- 11/25/2007 10:20:23 AM >

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 11:20:23 AM

Wildfleurs

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I'm not collared, but I know that for the signs of ownership - the piercing and brand it was a function of years. And even for ownership itself it really was a function of years (plural).

I think it was four years before ownership, a year and a half-two more years (six years total) before the piercing, and a year and a half-two years after the piercing (about eight years total) before the brand.

C~

Edited to add: I don't quite get the constant comparisons between collars and wedding rings - its like comparing apples and oranges to me - or a house and a dog. Completely different symbols with very different meanings.

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 11/25/2007 11:21:21 AM >

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 11:25:56 AM

Kaiynasha

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MzMia, I have never collared anyone either, but I would even take longer to do so. Although 6 months may seem like a long time I would say a good year would be good enough to collar someone. By then you know for sure.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 11:26:27 AM

TexasMaam

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I had been hoping to collar My sub for Xmas but I think we need to kick things up a notch vis a vis BDSM before I can take that step. We've spent a lot of time handling day to day life issues, putting down baggage we both were carrying, and establishing a firm foundation for our relationship.

Now that things 'feel right' it's time to push a few BDSM envelopes and see whether he really is truly interested in serving Me or just in meeting some fantasies of his own.

We've been seeing each other for a year now, and how long it might take to explore some specific hard core BDSM activities is rather difficult to estimate.

I can't say when the collar might be offered in earnest, but when I do it will be for a permanent relationship with manthing as My submissive, until I'm too old and feeble to raise the paddle anymore.

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 11/25/2007 11:30:45 AM >

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 1:38:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
Edited to add: I don't quite get the constant comparisons between collars and wedding rings - its like comparing apples and oranges to me - or a house and a dog. Completely different symbols with very different meanings.

I think it's because for most people in the scene, they really only pay lip service to the "differences" and honestly see them as about the same- and often still take the marriage more seriously and feel more confident about it.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 6:54:37 PM

octavia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
Edited to add: I don't quite get the constant comparisons between collars and wedding rings - its like comparing apples and oranges to me - or a house and a dog. Completely different symbols with very different meanings.

I think it's because for most people in the scene, they really only pay lip service to the "differences" and honestly see them as about the same- and often still take the marriage more seriously and feel more confident about it.

Or it's because they DO symbolize similar things for the majority of people. Things like belonging and commitment for example. Personally my point was about rings in general not wedding rings specifically and that a ring, or a collar means exactly what the two people in the relationship decide they mean.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/25/2007 9:40:11 PM

MidMichCowboy

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To me, it is very similar to marriage. A collar will be offered the day I wake up and realize I don't want to wake up without her for the rest of my life.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/26/2007 6:22:01 AM

NinjaProphet

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Joined: 12/11/2006
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eleventy days......srsly.....depends on what the collar signifies.
protection, play partner, partner, submissive, slave, etc.

The more serious the definition, the longer it should be considered. ....

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/26/2007 6:40:37 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YesMistressIrish

Jo and Mz Mia: Good to see you both chatting away.

I had one I knew I would collar last month. I missed him by one week! lol. He is 'The one who got away' Another Domme in another state knew he was coming to me, and she collared him instantly upon his arrival at her door! he was flying out to me the next week.

the only thing that would be "good to see" that those two could ever accomplish together is to have one of them blowing me while the other is eating my ass.....I'll let the dark one have the first taste of the domidong.

Anywhooooo......This is exactly why the notion that collars have a uniformed worth and meaning is ridiculous. I was going to marry this chick but she got married the week before...It was such a bummer. I think we really had something special going on. It was going to last for at least a week or two.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/26/2007 11:28:07 AM

DesFIP

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He collared me after about a month. He says he knew I was the right one from the first meeting which admittingly went on for 8 hours. He had no pre-existing rules, just went with his feelings. He'd been looking for a few years and hadn't had the click he needed before.

I know that one month gets shocked reactions, but it's worked for us, over four and half years now.

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/26/2007 3:03:06 PM

unravel

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Well it really depends on the type of relationship, the background/previous hurts of the two people involved, if the Dominant does any sort of consideration collars first...etc...
But i would lean towards the maybe naive "take it slow and get it right the first time" kind of thing.
unravel:)

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RE: Mia's Thanksgiving Question--How long before you co... - 11/27/2007 5:42:24 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NinjaProphet

eleventy days......srsly.....depends on what the collar signifies.
protection, play partner, partner, submissive, slave, etc.

The more serious the definition, the longer it should be considered. ....

I love this statement, you are saying volumes here.
The more serious the definition, the longer it should be considered.....
I am seeking something serious, and hopefully long-term so it makes
sense that I don't quickly considering collaring someone.
It signifies a lot to me.
Many great comments here.

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