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Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 1:06:27 PM

winterlight

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Do any of you have a sub/slave that has ADD, ADHD or deaf. How do You communicate with Your sub/slave.
Does the above cause you to pause in accepting anybody?

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 4:09:51 PM

Maya2001

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From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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As for ADD or ADHD, really surprised to see being referred to as a handicap, I am not a dominant but mother of a son with ADHD, normally as an adult they usually are not all that hyper at all and you would talk to them like anyone else, it is just more important to talk to them while you have their full attention, but in most cases by aduilthood they are aware of the need to focus and others would not even be aware they have,.

Most persons with ADD or ADHD are extremely intelligent often have well above average IQs, I really do not consider ADD or ADHD a handicap and in no way any like deafness most hear just fined simply at times a lack of ability to concentrate especially if there is a lot of distractions going on around them when they are younger but as they get older most have learned to compensate and really has no affect of their day to day lives. My son is now 27 I would basically say he outgrew it to talk to him you would think he is a very normal extremely bright person, one would never know that he had a learning disability today and he can discuss a huge variety of topics in quite a bit of details he also has a photographic memory, he could read about some topic and 10 years later can draw from his memory and discuss and make me who had no learning disabilities went on to post secondary look stupid, he is a highschool dropout. I have seen a few that the hyperactivity part still continues into adulthold which makes them a bit more eager and more clumsy in their rush to do something but as a sub or slave I can't see that as being too much of an issue

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 4:14:17 PM

chellekitty

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i would say uncontrolled ADD or ADHD is more of a handicap than deafness because most people who are deaf learn to cope really quickly....the key word being "uncontrolled"...and in that case...they need professional help if it is obvious to you before you can effectively communicate with them....

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 4:35:38 PM

LadyPact

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My submissive is in fact ADHD. Yes, he does take medications to "slow him down". I don't consider him handicapped in anyway. In fact, he's one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. I can certainly relate to what Maya said, because he retains information like a sponge. Not to mention, he has a great energy level and a disposition that is so happy and positive that most people pale by comparrison.

How do I communicate with him? The same way as I would any other submissive that I would call My own. I think that question is more geared to the other specific that you mentioned, being deaf.

I never paused once in considering him When W/we first met, he was completely open about his condition, including telling Me what medications he was on before there was ever any play. It was important to Me to understand how it would effect a BDSM relationship, and he answered all of My questions fully and provided Me with the information that I wanted to know. Again, as Maya said, his greatest difficulty in focusing when there are a lot of distractions about. Also, he tends to wind up more when excited. It's easily solved, as caffeine has somewhat of a reverse effect on him as it does for those without the condition. A cup of coffee when he's hyper about something will do the trick. One of the earliest rituals I established with him was for him to tell Me each morning that he has taken his medications, so that he has better balance for the day.

I've never once considered this to be a handicap. It never gave Me a moment's pause when I knew I wanted him for My own. The ADHD wasn't even a fleeting thought in My mind when I put My formal collar on his neck. For all that he is..... he is My boy, and I wouldn't want him any other way.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 4:40:39 PM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Do any of you have a sub/slave that has ADD, ADHD or deaf. How do You communicate with Your sub/slave.
Does the above cause you to pause in accepting anybody?

This is the first time in my life that I have heard anyone refer to ADD, ADHD and hearing loss as being handicapped.

hmmm

learn something new everyday

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 6:24:25 PM

angelslave77

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*watches the worms escaping from the can.*

I would agree that I would hardly define either of these things as handicapped, certainly having a deaf partner may require you to learn sign language or to make sure you are looking at them so they can lip read and so forth and thus may require some adjustments to what you are used to . And ADD a handicap? hmmmm

And I would not hesitate to accept someone with said conditions if they were someone i connected with

< Message edited by angelslave77 -- 11/22/2007 6:25:21 PM >

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 6:57:09 PM

Requiempoet

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Because of my extensive medical history I think I can help.The medical community basically considers ADD/ADHD not as a handicapp but as a impariment. I have ADD and ADHD ( yes it's possible to have both) and that's the box I have to check when the medical forms ask...

I also have Hydrocephalus, and Cerebral palsy, and those can affect the types of things that I am allowed to perform for my Master, but he didn't see these as an obstacle. We work around them.

< Message edited by Requiempoet -- 11/22/2007 6:58:35 PM >

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 8:27:19 PM

DreamyLadySnow

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I have ADHD and communicate just fine. What are you getting at? I don't think I understand the OP.

LS

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 8:37:36 PM

MissMagnolia

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Handicapped. Wow, thats a word I haven't seen in donkeys years.

I loath labels, but I think these days it's viewed as a disability or special need, but that doesn't make the person disabled. It just means they find new ways of doing things.

We have a guy working with us who has no arms, he types with his toes, answers the phone with his feet, the whole deal. I guess it's only a "handicap" if you view it as such.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 8:39:31 PM

dreamofthemoon

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Do any of you have a sub/slave that has ADD, ADHD or deaf. How do You communicate with Your sub/slave.
Does the above cause you to pause in accepting anybody?

This is the first time in my life that I have heard anyone refer to ADD, ADHD and hearing loss as being handicapped.

hmmm

learn something new everyday

As someone with ADD, I've heard it refered to as a Learning Disorder, but never a handicap. Hmmm.

dream

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 8:40:57 PM

ticklivories

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Just want to make a clarification on the word handicap. The way it is being used in this post is incorrect. A handicap is something that is placed upon a person by society. However, a Disability would be more appropriate in the context you are using it.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/22/2007 8:46:21 PM

LadyHibiscus

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A former slave had terrible ADD but was on medication. There were times when I really had to make sure I had his attention, but that was all.

I've known folks in wheelchairs, stroke victims, etc to play very successfully, it's just a matter of working with what you have.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 5:35:59 AM

wisteriaV

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I am neither handicapped nor disabled. I have a life altering situation that requires me to rely on other means to function as the sterotypical "physcially healthy" people do. I am not who I am based on that life altering situation "label". I am me with the same thoughts, feeling, ect as everyone else on the planet. I detest labeling and putting people in boxes.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 7:22:50 AM

chellekitty

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I loath labels, but I think these days it's viewed as a disability or special need, but that doesn't make the person disabled. It just means they find new ways of doing things.

with that definition, saying disabled or special need instead of handicapped is just a politically correct term...and i say fuck pc terms...

i am on disability...i am not disabled or handicapped or special needs...i have a whole schlew of problems that suck ass...a range of mental health problems...seizures, diabetes (for some reason that was relevant when i applied for SSI), central sleep apnea (passing out=bad) my hereditary nerve deafness is starting to be noticable...all that equals chelle no worky like the normies...but it doesn't make me an invalid member of society...i can do lots, i just can't do it on a work schedule...and sometimes, i can't work for 2 weeks at a time or 2 months....so....i get a bit of help from the government....

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 12:23:58 PM

CuteIrishM4F

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As a person who hates p.c. terminology, I would have to advise using the terms that people with the condition would use for themselves, rather than struggling with the possible meanings ascribed to these words by society. I have friends, born without certain abilities, who use the term handiccapped because, as one aptly put it, he cannot be "disabled" as he was never "abled" to begin with! In my country, oftentimes the term "disabled" is used to describe a person who has lost abilities previously held due to illness or perhaps an accident. That is the defining factor for many, but because of negative connotations, sometimes neither of these words may be appropriate.

As to how any of this may fit into a BDSM based lifestyle, I have no idea! I am sure that the difficulties and challenges faced by us all are just as pertinent for every individual, (abled, disables, handicapped or impared) as they are for me. Perhaps different, but certainly present nonetheless. I would be interested in knowing why this thread was started at all Winterlight. Is there a point you would like to make or a specific question you want answered? Communication is of course important, but is it not so for us all?

A.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 6:18:04 PM

Cedwen

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Another Mistress with whom I am friends has a sub/husband who is a submisve CD sissie Despite his handicap he must feel much more than us who are fullysighted ? All the subs Ive known like to be left hel[less blindfolded and gagged - handicapped But they all know they will eventualy regain their normal capabilitiesFor a realy handicapped sub that is their"norm" So why shouldnot their phantasies become part of a form of reality?

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 6:43:28 PM

JackM1

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i think the question being asked, in a rather limited way, is; for those of you that have a handicapped(or disabled, WHAT EVER) submissive, how do you function with them? for those that are deff as an example, do you refrain from blindfolding them because they wont be able to communitcate with you, and visa versa for someone who is mute. for a sub with partial or complete blindness, do they still serve you completely or are there many limitations to what they can safely do?

how about for slaves in wheel chairs? who use crutches? who are unable to kneel for long periods of time or who are are suseptible to seizures? what are ways that you deal with these added complications and risks?

i think its unfair and untruthful to say "they are EXACTLY the same as anyone else! they handle things just like any othe sub would!". even a submissive with mild to severe ADHD will have problems listening to orders and carrying out chores. do you give them more time? are there special ways of communicating with them that ensure they will listen?(like getting their full and undivided attention before speaking) what about injured submissive? do you expect someone on crutches or that just came out of surgery to do everything they once did or do you modify their service to fit the situation?

do you consider a persons physical short comings or handicaps when deciding to take them on as a submissive? is that very important in a relationship where one party must serve and submit to their dominants every whim? can a disability or handicap actually be used to a dominants advantage? is the line between consent and abuse further blurred when a handicap of some sort is involved(ie; a submissive bound to a wheelchair not being able to simply walk away if they are positioned on a bench)

i believe THAT is what the OP is asking..stop snipping about the use of the word "handicapped" and answer the question or give advice if you have any.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 9:54:45 PM

MissMagnolia

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You can rant all you want chelle, but the fact remains "handicapped" is a term not used in Australia for years. The definition of handicapped implies a helplessness that few people, even those on disability pensions, have.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of others in this world who also have termendous and debilitating health problems and who are on disability pensions, etc. (me being one of them), who would not call themselves handicapped. I certainly have never termed myself handicapped. I also work with people with various mental health problems. None of them would use the word handicapped.

Perhaps this is like the thread about using the N word for black people in America. Maybe America is OK with using archaic words that imply that the person is "less than" everyone else in some way. In Australia we do not.

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 10:00:19 PM

subspace08

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

As for ADD or ADHD, really surprised to see being referred to as a handicap, I am not a dominant but mother of a son with ADHD, normally as an adult they usually are not all that hyper at all and you would talk to them like anyone else, it is just more important to talk to them while you have their full attention, but in most cases by aduilthood they are aware of the need to focus and others would not even be aware they have,.

Most persons with ADD or ADHD are extremely intelligent often have well above average IQs, I really do not consider ADD or ADHD a handicap and in no way any like deafness most hear just fined simply at times a lack of ability to concentrate especially if there is a lot of distractions going on around them when they are younger but as they get older most have learned to compensate and really has no affect of their day to day lives. My son is now 27 I would basically say he outgrew it to talk to him you would think he is a very normal extremely bright person, one would never know that he had a learning disability today and he can discuss a huge variety of topics in quite a bit of details he also has a photographic memory, he could read about some topic and 10 years later can draw from his memory and discuss and make me who had no learning disabilities went on to post secondary look stupid, he is a highschool dropout. I have seen a few that the hyperactivity part still continues into adulthold which makes them a bit more eager and more clumsy in their rush to do something but as a sub or slave I can't see that as being too much of an issue

I have ADD and three different other learning disabilies and it really is a problem

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RE: Handicapped sub/slaves - 11/23/2007 10:36:05 PM

winterlight

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My apologies. I should know better as i am hearing impaired. I haven't used handicapped in years and can't believe i put that! What i was trying to convey is there anything that you consider to be difficult to deal with in somebody and would cause you to pause...

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