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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:07:23 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		lmao

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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:08:21 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuriousLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
I happen to adore sluts; feel free to send yours my way. 


Ah, you're not alone.  Only, fair warning.. my sluts tend to also be mentally unbalanced.  But, if you also enjoy one hell of a challenge, it can keep you busy!


I've had my share of unbalanced women; can't say it's my cuppa joe.  What I do value, though, is a woman who can take responsibility for her own sexuality.  Such a woman might only have been with one or two partners; they might also have been with 100.  The issue for me isn't the number, but rather the willingness to enjoy her life for what it's worth.  Women with serious hangups about sex aren't attractive to me; neither are women who use sex as an escape.

Though a crazy slut in cuffs, collar, and a ballgag can't do too much damage.

Stephan


What is wrong with using sex as an escape? I just unexpectedly had amazing sex today and was able to escape a planned trip to the mall.

I think it was a win-win all around.

(in reply to Stephann)
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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:09:44 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
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quote:

What is wrong with using sex as an escape? I just unexpectedly had amazing sex today and was able to escape a planned trip to the mall.

I think it was a win-win all around.


Not for the revenue stream of the shopkeepers at the mall.

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:10:29 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i have never heard of these rules. Where do you find them on HS locker room doors?

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:10:48 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

What is wrong with using sex as an escape? I just unexpectedly had amazing sex today and was able to escape a planned trip to the mall.

I think it was a win-win all around.


Not for the revenue stream of the shopkeepers at the mall.


LOL I guess it depends on the perspective!!

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:11:18 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		WHAT?  You were going to go to the mall today?  You really are a masochist! Shopping on Black Friday is a major hard limit for me!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:12:35 PM   
defiantbadgirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hands0n0knees

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common.


I've never heard of it.

As a few others have already articulated quite well, there are no rules.  And in BDSM I dare say that there are even fewer (well, you know what I mean...).  I have never had sexual intercourse at all with anyone I've met in this context; but that's just my experience, a singular experience.



Someone else named it the "three date rule" not me. Apparently someone thought men losing interest in women if there was no sex by the third date common enough to give it a name. I've heard it mentioned and seen it applied with both vanillas and those into the lifestyle.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:13:59 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Instead of worrying about "rules" or what others think, why not come up with a plan that works for you, depending on the person you are with?  Depending on how you feel about the person you are with.

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:16:02 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

WHAT?  You were going to go to the mall today?  You really are a masochist! Shopping on Black Friday is a major hard limit for me!


I know. I WAS going to go, but then got a much better offer!!!

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:19:06 PM   
BabyDollVanIsle


Posts: 103
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		"Though a crazy slut in cuffs, collar, and a ballgag can't do too much damage. "

ROTFLMAO

Like your attitude, Stephann... in your overall posts here, not just the quote which i happen to find hilarious...

I think defiantbadgirl brings up some very relevant, worrisome concerns for many BDSM women. i know the topic is uncomfortable for many.

those of us with strong slut tendencies (like myself) tend to worry a bit about some of this, especially in moments of insecurity.

i never had the opportunty to express my slut side when i was living conventionally and unaware of my submissive nature.. now that i have newly discovered what i am, i am faced with the fact that yes, i do want to be a wanton slut.

fortunately, the Master who has me under consideration is delighted by this and quite supportive. i am starting to feel more relaxed about it and a bit more uninhibited on the phone because of his acceptance.

i do face the fact if i do start to express my slut tendencies in some real life situations, there are going to be some Doms who will judge me about it. but... you can't have everything in life.

you can't have your cake, and also smear it all over your body and have 3 men lick it off.

Baby Doll

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:20:10 PM   
laurell3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

WHAT?  You were going to go to the mall today?  You really are a masochist! Shopping on Black Friday is a major hard limit for me!


I know. I WAS going to go, but then got a much better offer!!!


sorry to derail, but you know I pondered this morning the fact that others see wiitwd as crazy, however, I see getting up at 4am on a holiday day off to go to JCPenneys with thousands of other frenzied shoppers as completely over-the-top insane!  Perspective rules all I guess.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:21:42 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common.

 
DBG-
 
Funny, in the country I grew up in, it's mostly just been refered to in a joking manner.
 
to your questions:
 
Sometimes, there isn't even a first date after the sex. OTOH, I have dated someone for a bit over six months without having sex with them.  We both had a lot going on in our lives, and she was worth the wait, though most women wouldn't be.
 
I don't know if I'd be affected by a partner having too many lovers in her past. I suppose at some point, it might give me pause, but I think the number would have to be around a thousand. Even then, it likely would stop me, but might make me think twice.
 
As to question three, Do you think it is hypocritical for a woman to apply a 'rule' like your three date rule and be surprised to find that the man is playing games and keeping score as well?
 
Lawrence

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:23:48 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I've heard of the 3rd date rule. also the 6th,9th and 12th date rule. (and a few others but who's counting?)  a general comment about a guy who imposes such a rule, then has the gall to say [because a woman has slept with alot of guys] that he doesn't want to sleep with her?!  the majority of women who go with that rule, have slept with quite a few people already, so the guys who do that, are limiting themselves alot.   I don't give a rats ass about my partners formers.  (unless there is std's involved.) I've slept with 6 guys. I have had guys tell me, thats a low number, I have gotten accused of lying. lol. I have also had guys call me a slut, because they thought it was to many guys.  I even had this one guy who assumed that because I am a pagan, and that I went to a school that reportedly had alot of sluts, he assumed that must mean I am too. alrighty then!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:24:26 PM   
lockmeupplease


Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		no, no ,yes

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:24:31 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
No, I'm just curious since the three date rule seems so common.


I've never heard of the three date rule. Seriously, how many re-worded posts do we have to have on these same issues before you "get it"?

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:29:44 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)?

No.

2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high?

No.

3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not?

It can be hypocritical, and it can simply be a matter of preference. It depends on the individual.

*edited because third question was worded wrong*


< Message edited by Level -- 11/23/2007 1:31:07 PM >

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:34:19 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

1. Do you apply the three date rule (lose interest if no sex by the third date)?



No, but I do apply the 3 pairs of shoes rule.

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high?



No, "practice what you preach"

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

3. Do you think it's hypocritical for men who apply the three date rule to turn women down based on their number of sex partners? Why or why not?

*edited because third question was worded wrong*


Not really...to each their own.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 11/23/2007 1:36:54 PM >

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I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:41:16 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

2. Would you decide against persuing a long term d/s relationship with a woman if you thought her number of past sexual partners was too high?



Living in Georgia, I want to find a submissive who has not had a relationship with anybody north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Heh.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:41:18 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Instead of worrying about "rules" or what others think, why not come up with a plan that works for you, depending on the person you are with?  Depending on how you feel about the person you are with.


I'm not worried about finding something that works for me because there's no need. Just curious how many men apply the double standard of expecting sex by the third meet and then aren't interested in ltr's with women if they've had too many partners. Nobody knows how many people they will go through before meeting the right one and most men lose interest fairly fast if sex isn't involved soon. Because the search itself is a numbers game, I'm trying to understand how a woman's number of sexual partners indicates whether or not she's a slut.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: three questions for men into bdsm - 11/23/2007 1:42:42 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Damn, talk about nano-seconds, I just beat ya.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

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Profile   Post #: 40
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