Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
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quote:
ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: Stephann
Women with serious hangups about sex aren't attractive to me
Stephan
I think it's safe to assume that women aren't born with sexual hang-ups.
Some are, some aren't, same with men. I grew up in a pretty rough home, and have had no small amount of emotional baggage. What I chose to do with that baggage, as an adult, was entirely up to me. It isn't a question of blame, it's a question of looking at yourself, what you struggle with, and finding healthy solutions.
My mom lost her leg in a car accident at the age of 18. It did enormous damage to her, physically and emotionally. That didn't keep her from going on to have a rewarding and interesting life. She could have simply rested in a wheelchair the rest of her life; instead she uses an artificial limb, and simply walks with a limp. It isn't a question of where the problem came from, it's a question of what you're willing to do, to solve that problem, so that you can go on to have a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Blaming society for some double standard that you feel resented by ensures you'll never see past 'men' as a nameless, faceless group of sex hungry predatory creatures, and start seeing individual people as just that; individuals, with their own quirks, foibles, motivations, needs, and feelings. Most of them won't be compatible with you; certainly most women aren't compatible with me! Focus your efforts on doing what you need to do to find contentment in your life, and loving who you are, and the right kind of man will eventually come along.
As for the pattern; my healthiest relationships (those that lasted longer than a month, that I found fulfilling, and healthy) we did in fact have sex within the first few dates. I know for a fact it didn't happen that way because I pressured them; on the contrary. I find that when women aren't pressured to have sex by a man, they feel much more comfortable with expressing their sexuality, naturally, and are just as raring to go as a man. It's not because I'm some kind of Don Juan; I think it's simply a question of chemistry. It's there, or it's not.
Stephan
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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer
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