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How to say hi - 11/25/2007 7:10:00 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
Two weeks ago I split with Pingpong my little subbie. No sympathy required it was bound to happen. So now I'm on the lookout for another sub/slave to train and take under my wing. So the problem is I've been reading some of your profiles and a lot of them are not greatly detailed as to what your requirements are making it difficult to decide if I would be interested in you.
The main problem is that you all put down what you DON'T want i.e. 'no one line messages', 'I don't do IM', 'I will not reply to txt speak' etc. So it occurred to me to ask the question 'what do you want?'. If you can all agree amongst yourselves to specify what you are after in your profiles and how you like to be approached it would make life a lot easier.
Obviously you're still going to get a few numb nuts slipping through the net, but hey that's life lol

Oh and finally can somebody PLEASE tell me how to get 'vanilla' removed from under my name?

< Message edited by pokermick -- 11/25/2007 7:12:30 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 7:20:59 PM   
kittengirl8


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		*laughs* Sir, in my opinion, the best way to say hi is to follow a few simple steps:

A.) Do sound intelligent. It shouldn't be too hard for someone who wants to be able to lead someone else through their life, to take control of their everything.
B.) Do make sure you comment briefly on something in their journal or profile, that way, the sub/slave knows that You were actually looking at them, and not just their stats.
C.) Don't sound desperate. No real sub/slaves wants to be collared by a complete stranger. Uh, i think. i could be wrong, i suppose. But the point to this is don't mention collaring ASAP.
D.) Do not say "and we'll see where it goes". That is said so many times... it makes me sad.

And finally, you just need to post a lot. Vanilla means you've only posted a few times. *smile* Don't worry, i'm stuck with it too for now.

Good luck, and i hope i was some help.

~kitten~

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 7:36:06 PM   
Lancealittle


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		I'm daunted by the whole thing too. What I do is read profiles, if I find something specific that grabs my attention for a local subbie that I'd like to start talking to, I'll pop em a message pretty much stating that.

"I read X in your profile and it intrigued me" or "We seem to share some common interests, if you'd like to converse, shoot me a message" etc. Never anything too long.

I'm not tryin to collar some one based on a profile, I need to talk, chat, and meet them for some face to face chat before I'd even consider a scene, let alone having them as "my sub". But most people seem to think if I message them then I'm walking around with a collar in my hand tryin to throw it around their neck like some fucked up game of horse shoes.


(in reply to kittengirl8)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 7:51:37 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

A.) Do sound intelligent. It shouldn't be too hard for someone who wants to be able to lead someone else through their life, to take control of their everything.
B.) Do make sure you comment briefly on something in their journal or profile, that way, the sub/slave knows that You were actually looking at them, and not just their stats.
C.) Don't sound desperate. No real sub/slaves wants to be collared by a complete stranger. Uh, i think. i could be wrong, i suppose. But the point to this is don't mention collaring ASAP.
D.) Do not say "and we'll see where it goes". That is said so many times... it makes me sad.

And finally, you just need to post a lot. Vanilla means you've only posted a few times. *smile* Don't worry, i'm stuck with it too for now.
 
Thank you young kitten for your kind reply. In fact you are saying write enough to sound clever and funny (A) but not too much or you’ll sound desperate (C). In the short but witty introduction it is wise to comment on an aspect of their personality which has sadly been omitted from their profile (B). And finally it would never have occurred to me to say anything along the lines of "and we’ll see how it goes"(D)… I can see that this is going to be harder than I thought lol
And finally I will have to post constantly for the next few hours… I HATE being called vanilla.

(in reply to Lancealittle)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 7:59:15 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not tryin to collar some one based on a profile, I need to talk, chat, and meet them for some face to face chat before I'd even consider a scene, let alone having them as "my sub". But most people seem to think if I message them then I'm walking around with a collar in my hand tryin to throw it around their neck like some fucked up game of horse shoes.


I think a lot of women on this site and others like it are suspicious of the motive of most doms and rightly so. This makes the first contact even more important.
 
Have you patented your new game yet?

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:16:39 PM   
forg0ttenclone


Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		You know, it could be a new game you see at the fair.  Kind of like when you toss rings onto pegs to win prizes.  You could toss collars onto mini-sub statues. <laugh>  I think you could be onto something here. 

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:22:52 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Simply be yourself...then you will find the right submissive for you..even if you may be of the "kneel bitch" type..lol..you will find the right idiot submissive for you..~wink~ but of course I suspect you are not ....so hence the more of you that you show, the more the person attracted to your personality traits will respond more wholeheartedly than others....Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:32:06 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
Hi Tempting.
 
First let me say that I can't believe you are 50 unless the photos you posted are old ones.
 
Secondly without wanting to sound too scathing, you have proved my point by falling into the category of the 'minimalist profile poster'.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:38:03 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You PokerMick..and yes I am 50 and yes that picture is about 6 months old..and LOL!!..yes my profile is a wee bit on the minimal side..but I also post a great deal to the boards here, so hence if someone wanted to see if I have ever posted something they would find that I have, and read a little to what I have responded to, and pretty much find out an awful lot of the way I think..it shows a bit more effort done on the part of the interested party..:0)...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:38:14 PM   
Kumasan2


Posts: 182
Joined: 11/20/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for posting this.  This topic is certainly one that I've faced in the past and never really known how to get over.  I realize that the subs here are innundated with messages from all over and each one tries to be the one to get her attention and generate a reply. 

Thank you, kitten, for your thoughts on the matter as well.  I found them very helpful.

To further the conversation, would it be helpful for the Dom to ask questions in the initial email, stemming from her list of interests or her profile?  I always want to be conversational in my emails but I don't want to fall under category C on the list.  Hopefully these comments will raise the reply ratio on my emails to above single digit percentages.    :)

And I *do* want to try that new game you speak of!  Sounds like fun!

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:46:19 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		M. Mick-
 
Well, there's your trouble.
 
You just told her that she's over the hill, possibly dishonest, and her profile stinks.
 
Poor opening, bud.
 
Here's an example, using TNS as our crash test profile.
 
****************
Dear TNS-
 
I was browsing the boards yesterday, and came across your post on the 'when you go searching thread, and I really liked your answer- though I doubt you have any trouble attracting plenty of attention from men with such lovely pictures on your profile.
 
It's rather scant, though (your profile)... I was wondering just what brings you to CM- what are you seeking, and why BDSM?
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence
 
**************************************
 
See the differance?
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:50:13 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

M. Mick-
 
Well, there's your trouble.
 
You just told her that she's over the hill, possibly dishonest, and her profile stinks.
 
Poor opening, bud.
 
Here's an example, using TNS as our crash test profile.
 
****************
Dear TNS-
 
I was browsing the boards yesterday, and came across your post on the 'when you go searching thread, and I really liked your answer- though I doubt you have any trouble attracting plenty of attention from men with such lovely pictures on your profile.
 
It's rather scant, though (your profile)... I was wondering just what brings you to CM- what are you seeking, and why BDSM?
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence
 
**************************************
 
See the differance?
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence
~swoons~........Tempting (your friendly neighborhood crash test dummy??..:0)

< Message edited by TemptingNviceSub -- 11/25/2007 8:51:03 PM >

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:50:37 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Might help to follow your own advice and put all that stuff in YOUR profile instead of simply asking saying "put your butts up for inspection." Just a thought. You'll get out of it as much as you put into it.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 8:58:15 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Thank You PokerMick..and yes I am 50 and yes that picture is about 6 months old..and LOL!!..yes my profile is a wee bit on the minimal side..but I also post a great deal to the boards here, so hence if someone wanted to see if I have ever posted something they would find that I have, and read a little to what I have responded to, and pretty much find out an awful lot of the way I think..it shows a bit more effort done on the part of the interested party..:0)...Tempting

 
So you’ve laid another rule down:
 
E) If the lady in question has been on the site for a while it is important to go through all of the postings and not necessarily rely on the profile.
 
Detective Dom (aka Poker Mick) to the rescue.
This raises another question. Why is it etiquette for the male to make the first move? If a domme is looking for a partner does she make the first move, and if she doesn’t does that make her a little submissive?
 
Now let me see who that Tempting has been gossiping with lol

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:03:01 PM   
pokermick


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		You old smoothy. I can see that you've got experience of this kind of thing

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:09:10 PM   
angelsub642


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pokermick


Two weeks ago I split with Pingpong my little subbie. No sympathy required it was bound to happen. So now I'm on the lookout for another sub/slave to train and take under my wing. So the problem is I've been reading some of your profiles and a lot of them are not greatly detailed as to what your requirements are making it difficult to decide if I would be interested in you.
The main problem is that you all put down what you DON'T want i.e. 'no one line messages', 'I don't do IM', 'I will not reply to txt speak' etc. So it occurred to me to ask the question 'what do you want?'. If you can all agree amongst yourselves to specify what you are after in your profiles and how you like to be approached it would make life a lot easier.
Obviously you're still going to get a few numb nuts slipping through the net, but hey that's life lol

Oh and finally can somebody PLEASE tell me how to get 'vanilla' removed from under my name?


i would say is be patient and continue on looking, if you have found one you can find others just as easily, though it may seem very frustrating. i try to be a concise and to the point in what i am looking for and not looking for. As far as your ice cream cone goes, keep on posting :D

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:21:52 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pokermick

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Thank You PokerMick..and yes I am 50 and yes that picture is about 6 months old..and LOL!!..yes my profile is a wee bit on the minimal side..but I also post a great deal to the boards here, so hence if someone wanted to see if I have ever posted something they would find that I have, and read a little to what I have responded to, and pretty much find out an awful lot of the way I think..it shows a bit more effort done on the part of the interested party..:0)...Tempting

 
So you’ve laid another rule down:
 
E) If the lady in question has been on the site for a while it is important to go through all of the postings and not necessarily rely on the profile.
 
Detective Dom (aka Poker Mick) to the rescue.
This raises another question. Why is it etiquette for the male to make the first move? If a domme is looking for a partner does she make the first move, and if she doesn’t does that make her a little submissive?
 
Now let me see who that Tempting has been gossiping with lol
Well if you do not wish to delve that deeply, then nothing says that you must...and if you wish to wait for the submissives to make the first move upon you, again that will be your choice.....As far as I can see there is no "have to"...What works for you is simply what works for you.........or not......:0)...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to pokermick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:22:51 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Might help to follow your own advice and put all that stuff in YOUR profile instead of simply asking saying "put your butts up for inspection." Just a thought. You'll get out of it as much as you put into it.

Master Fire



Really. I was just wondering how such a charming and intriguing profile could fail to produce flocks of submissive women lining up for inspection.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:29:49 PM   
kitten1963


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline 		being new to both this lifestyle and site, I'll add this:  the emails that turn me off (and end up getting ignored) are the ones that  either demand instant submission and/or start off talking about filthy, kinky sex (at least one or two conversations first, please).  I respond to the guys who are polite and well spoken.     Just my humble opinion.  

(in reply to angelsub642)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to say hi - 11/25/2007 9:35:39 PM   
denouement


Posts: 15
Joined: 4/20/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, I am going to weigh in on this one, as one of the submissives inundated with emails.

This is just my two cents, and I am sure others will disagree:

The emoticons in the profile are an immediate turn-off to me.  It says to me "I have trouble expressing myself and hide behind smiley faces."  (I feel the same way about people who end every statement with "lol.")

The "sniff sniff" well, no one wants a man who is feeling sorry for himself.  I am certain you meant it in a more light-hearted, jovial manner.  To me though, it comes across as a guy on the rebound, with some baggage he still hasn't checked.

The part about lining our bottoms up for inspection...well, that is just so patently offensive I am not sure it merits further comment. 

The "if you think you can cope..." well, is that supposed to be a dare?  That kind of throwing down of the gauntlet smacks of insecurity.  Actions speak louder than words and taunts.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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