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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 8:53:44 AM   
chellekitty


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are we talking about the biblical meaning of adultery? the legal meaning of adultery? because technically they are different...i've been doing some studying...the bible says two consenting adults can have sex no matter what their marital status with whomever, as long as no one gets hurt....legally, sex outside of the marriage is grounds for divorce should a spouse decide they want a divorce...

that being said, to the OP...are you planning on having sex with the man? do you know the man in real life? or his wife? then, no offence, but what is the problem? there are tons of people out there doing it...you're not going to stop all of them, you're not even going to stop one of them...i've tried...it is a fruitless endeavor...if you find someone like that and it bothers you, wash your hands of them and move on...sorry...otherwise you will get a severe head ache banging your head against a brick wall trying to figure them out....

oh and no, it doesn't make it not cheating because it's with a slave...

chelle


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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 8:55:09 AM   
thetammyjo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyeli

ask to meet his wife...if he introduces you to her, its not adultery. if he doesnt...it is.


I fully agree.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 12:06:20 PM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyeli

ask to meet his wife...if he introduces you to her, its not adultery. if he doesnt...it is.




I fully agree.


I'll second that.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 12:14:29 PM   
hermione83


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quote:

the bible says two consenting adults can have sex no matter what their marital status with whomever, as long as no one gets hurt


I would like to see the book, chapter, verse on that one?



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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 12:16:36 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


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Status: offline 		imho - whether it's discrete or not or if the wife approves or not - it's still cheating. 

my $.02 of the day


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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 1:24:55 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
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Status: offline 		If his significant others know (wife, slave, etc) and they agree, it's ethical poly.  Whether or not that's adultery is up to your definition.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 3:41:59 PM   
welshwmn3


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

No intentions to meet the wife, simplyeli.  He wanted "discretion."  I think it was a rock creature.


Discretion could mean that the wife knows he has others, just doesn't ever want to meet them or hear all the details.  Not very likely, but I HAVE heard of some poly arrangements like that.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 3:57:21 PM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

quote:

the bible says two consenting adults can have sex no matter what their marital status with whomever, as long as no one gets hurt


I would like to see the book, chapter, verse on that one?





Ditto that.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 4:00:02 PM   
LATEXBABY64


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Status: offline 		um I think that is old testament

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 5:06:42 PM   
juliaoceania


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Status: offline 		All the debate aside over defining adultery and ethical poly and cheating, it comes down to this... are YOU ok with having a discrete relationship with little or no chance for a future with someone that cannot make any kind of commitment to you because they already have one? If the answer to that is "yes" our opinions do not matter at all. I can see why people need NSA and discretion even without being married, the only point for you is if that is ok with you, because if you agree to a discrete relationship, your right to know why it must be discrete has been forfeit, along with any right to know anything else about them..

Such an arrangement would not work for me no matter what justification someone used for it. I do not need to be discrete in my life about my intimates, and I do not want to be with anyone else that needs to be either.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 5:13:08 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline 		Today's excuse was vague....."Long story.  Involved an operation."
 
Thusly claiming the wife cannot have sex.
 
Thusly justifying looking for women outside the relationship "just for sex".
 
Having had my poptarts this am, i was able to deflect this clever ploy...........
 
pinksugarsub

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 6:45:00 PM   
hermione83


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		No, it doesn't say that in the old testament, either. It says that if someone is raped don't stone them, she is guilty of no crime, but if two commit adultery stone them, and if they're not married or engaged, the man has to pay a fine to the girl's dad and marry her and never divorce her... In the New Testament, it's the same, except, forgive them since no other human (except Christ) is not a sinner and cannot judge them for their sins - have them change - with God's love for goodness in their heart and also change their actions and thus sin no more (it's still a sin it says), etc. And adds even stricter bits to that in a way, even though that is more lenient with forgiveness through Him, by saying even thinking about a married woman lustfully is commiting the sin of adultery, so.. I'm just confused as to what is being referred to there. I quite like to read my NLT with my life application study notes, so feel free to shoot those verses at me if I'm missing something, which I could very well be.. or maybe we have a different understanding of something..

< Message edited by hermione83 -- 11/26/2007 6:48:07 PM >

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/26/2007 7:03:43 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		not that it is particularly relevant to this conversation but can you give me the books chapters and verses that you are refering to so when i can get back to you with mine i can look up yours as well....i have chicken grease on my fingers...its ok for a keyboard but not my bible...

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 12:50:50 PM   
HouseofPhoenix


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/24/2006
Status: offline 		Let us all think a bit on this one, if a D/s relationship requires the ultimate trust.......What would this tell you? Its obvious that the guy is a player (giving us real DOMs a bad rap...again?) Why would you waste the ink to respond ?

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 1:12:46 PM   
hermione83


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		Yep yep, Deut 22:22-30, sorry.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 3:05:44 PM   
laurell3


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Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I can't believe I'm actually going to say this as I generally find religion on this board to be silly, but isn't one of the commandments not coveting thy neighbors wife?  Doesn't that pretty much cover it right there?

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 4:18:26 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		I think the basic problem for me is a married man asking me to knowingly participate in his deception.  

Additionally, I suspect that a man that lies to his wife would not hesitate to lie to me as well & that would make  trust difficult or impossible.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 4:26:40 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		wow labels trust and the whole ball of wax.  I guess the rule of thumb here is. If they lie or are dishonest they are not someone you would want to do anything with. No matter what needs you have.   You could be the next victum of a sexual homicide. You never know about people

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 6:25:44 PM   
hermione83


Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		laurell, yes, but I was basically just wondering about the consenting adults comment (not talking about marriage) because I've seen many to the contrary... always saying they have to be married, and then yes, obviously can't be with someone else's spouse.

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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 6:41:14 PM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLegs

I think the basic problem for me is a married man asking me to knowingly participate in his deception.  

Additionally, I suspect that a man that lies to his wife would not hesitate to lie to me as well & that would make  trust difficult or impossible.


Exactly, LadyLegs. 

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Profile   Post #: 40
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