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RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 10:28:29 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Yep yep, Deut 22:22-30, sorry.

ahh that would be where our difference lies...that is OT...and according to my study Bible, a book to remind the Jews what God has done for them...i knew i should have marked the passage that i read, because i cannot find it now...they often tell me at my bible study how amazing it is to see the Bible with fresh eyes and eyes that are looking at the Bible for the first time as an adult...i don't have it memorized...but i do remember ideas...it was towards the end...later in the NT..sorry i can't be more exact...

chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to hermione83)

Post #: 41

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/27/2007 10:33:37 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: welshwmn3

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

No intentions to meet the wife, simplyeli. He wanted "discretion." I think it was a rock creature.

Discretion could mean that the wife knows he has others, just doesn't ever want to meet them or hear all the details. Not very likely, but I HAVE heard of some poly arrangements like that.

yeah you have, havent you?

kitten, whose wolf IS like that.

(in reply to welshwmn3)

Post #: 42

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/28/2007 6:34:24 AM

hermione83

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline

Er, oh, I thought you had said the OT in your prior post.... well if you find it PM me please? I am curious..

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 43

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/28/2007 8:42:13 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

the the nuts and bolts of things. Cheating on any level hurts. those people that are cheated on. I guess some people are just heartless bastards or bitches or ass holes. some people should never be allowed to have relationships on any level yep.
You abuse the relationship You lose yep

(in reply to hermione83)

Post #: 44

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/29/2007 6:51:32 AM

pinakorbacs

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

"Those who live in a glass house, shouldn't throw stones.'"
Lifestylers are supposed to be an enlightened liberated bunch, at least as far as social and sexual behavior. Being formally married does not necessarily mean being still emotionally engaged with another....there are a variety of reasons why people stay married
After many years of marriage, more often than not, it's not more than a piece of paper or a status quo that is more practical to maintain than break up.
The real issue should be how available is he emotionally and physically for another relationship, not if he has separation/divorce papers signed.
As for the legal spouse, why hurt her feelings by flagging the red cloth in front of her eyes? When a marriage gets to that point she 'knows' as much or as little as she chooses.

(in reply to simplyeli)

Post #: 45

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/29/2007 6:53:17 AM

Machts

Posts: 96
Status: offline

If it feels like cheating-it probably is.

Listen to your gut.

(in reply to pinakorbacs)

Post #: 46

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/29/2007 7:50:03 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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The Sixities died a long time ago thank god. Comformity of the union of two people should be secared. But thats my point of view. I think the bottom line if you do not respect the person your with enough to behonest with them or you have to cheat. Then do not expect people to respect you. People that are of value and Moral backgrounds they will just tell you to get bent. Stablity is important some people like drama and that is all cheating does.

(in reply to pinakorbacs)

Post #: 47

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 11/30/2007 10:07:27 PM

welshwmn3

Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

yeah you have, havent you?

kitten, whose wolf IS like that.

Was thinking of you, dearheart, when I typed that :).

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 48

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/1/2007 8:20:20 AM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyone4you

I wanted to share my most recent online encounter with a Top from here on CM with the group. Someone please enlighten me with WTF this means. I chatted with a man, no, I won't give his ID, that wants to find a slave & have a sexual relationship with her, but somehow he says it's not cheating. I am the queen of excuses, justifications, & loop holes, but this one eludes me. Can anyone fill me in on how sleeping with a slave doesn't equal adultery? (Or have I just spoken with someone who crawled out from another rock?)

I am never comfortable with a play partner who is married or in a long-term relationship unless and until their other half has spoken with me apart from the potential partner and agreed it's OK.

Aside from the fact that I morally have issues with poaching when there's a whole world of possible partners who don't have restrictions, I don't want to find myself tied up and being done unto when a pissed-off spouse who ISN'T OK with their partner having extramarital activity bursts into the room!

And I won't sneak around about it. If it takes sneaking, I ain't the right kind of gal. In MMORPGs I play a paladin - kick down the door, kill the monster! I don't sneak.

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 49

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/2/2007 11:47:24 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

im a submissive and im married, all of us are aware and have our own limits and the play is consentual my wife dosent allow me to have vaginal coitus as she feels that is hers all the rest is acceptable to her. ive seen many who wont inform there spouse and that only hurts the relationships not helps. so to answer your question if its not consentiual with all the parties it cheeting.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 50

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/2/2007 12:25:52 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

Drop him, and move on. No reason to get yourself tangeled in a web of deceit. If he openly admits he has a wife, he is cheating.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to sexyone4you)

Post #: 51

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/2/2007 12:28:42 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

I do not Share My tooth brush I do not share my toilett paper I do not share My mouth wash I do not let people into my person files or things that i deem of importance. SO why would I share the love of my life. shrugs

(in reply to LPslittleclip)

Post #: 52

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 10:22:05 AM

exoticmale

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: simplyeli

ask to meet his wife...if he introduces you to her, its not adultery. if he doesnt...it is.

Huh??? If the Dom (or whoever) is married, sexual activity is adultery no matter how you slice it....no matter how you look at it, no matter who changes the rules, no matter who makes excuses. It is what it is. It's a huge issue for a lot of us. Tis the season.

(in reply to simplyeli)

Post #: 53

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 10:49:26 AM

ottRopesandKnots

Posts: 105
Joined: 9/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I do not Share My tooth brush I do not share my toilett paper I do not share My mouth wash I do not let people into my person files or things that i deem of importance. SO why would I share the love of my life. shrugs

Not that I don't agree with you, but the rest of the things you don't share are all "things" and posessions. The love of your life is a person with their own mind and their own ideas.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 54

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 11:26:18 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

It is adultry if your religious. It is fooling around if your not.

(in reply to ottRopesandKnots)

Post #: 55

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 11:27:34 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

for you adultery, for me --- well, I demand idolatry.

so, tomato/tomato

MrPotatoHead

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 56

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 11:37:10 AM

Krauss

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Perhaps his idea of a sexual encounter does NOT include sex- some people feel that if they get aroused by doing something, then that is a sexual act. Maybe this rock dweller just wants to tie, tickle, flog and play with you without intercourse- and that makes it not cheating in his mind. Although, when I read that he asks for 'discression' I immediately decided that this just was NOT the case with him. Probably good thing you ran.

Krauss

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 57

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 2:21:15 PM

moonkitten4444

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/18/2007
Status: offline

When a partner, male or female, asks you to be discrete that is normal but to say it is not cheating implies they feel the need to keep your relationship a secret. If he or she respects you that should not be an issue.

If his wife doesn't mind then let her tell you so in person, otherwise you may never know the truth. Your submission (anyone's submission) is a thing not to be taken lightly, just like marriage or any other committed relationship even if it is casual/occasional. If the guy justs wants some kicks and giggles he can hire a hooker.

Let him crawl back under his rock.

-Kitty

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 58

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 5:24:21 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

I guess my groth path is to strive to be better then. Just like anything in life to grow. hurting someone with cheating or lie or being dishonet is kinda of backwards mentality nothing i want apart of.

(in reply to moonkitten4444)

Post #: 59

RE: It's not cheating?!? - 12/4/2007 6:02:08 PM

agoodgirl4Daddy

Posts: 336
Joined: 10/25/2007
Status: offline

i would never consider getting serious in a "getting to know you to see if you are my Daddy" way if the said person was married or involved in a relationship with another person (vanilla or otherwise). I know that i may be holding out for a Daddy until i breathe my last breath, but i would rather do that than compromise my values. I want my own Daddy...not someone else's.

I also don't play with Tops/Dominants who are married (unless their partner is A-OK with it). Again, it's that "values" thing.

Some people are wired differently. *shrugs*

_____________________________

~We do not see things as they are - we see them as we are.~ Anais Nin

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)

Post #: 60

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