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Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 3:48:09 AM

lovingmaster45

Posts: 261
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

Has anyone else run into this? Recently there seems to be a rash of women contacting us who, when you get right down to it, are actually looking for a free ride in exchange for their "service".

I gently explain that everyone in this house earns their own way and that we are all busy professionals. One was very upfront and asked me if I knew of a house that was looking for someone who would accept her. I actually placed her as a domestic with an old friend who was looking and could afford someone who was not productive.

Am I the only one getting this?

Poly does not mean a free ride here.

_____________________________

Master Jerry

Post #: 1

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 3:58:59 AM

subversiveone

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline

unfortunately this is too common!
there will always be freeloaders of both sexes looking for someone to take advantage of, perhaps in exchange for the guise of 'submissive sex' or otherwise...

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 2

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 4:10:18 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

are actually looking for a free ride in exchange for their "service".

quote:

someone who was not productive.

I am not sure exactly what you mean by the terms "free ride" and "productive". I know of several poly families who have at least one person in the home who does not work outside of the home. I would not say that they are getting a free ride or not being productive though. It is their job to make sure that the home is always clean, the shopping is always done, the meals are planned and prepared, that everyone in the home has clean clothes to put on each morning, that the floors are always scrubbed and the toilet bowls are shiny. Their Masters prefer it this way.

While I have always been one to work outside of the home, if a Dominant were to tell me that he wanted me to be the one to stay home and take care of all of the rest that needs to be taken care of, I would not feel any less important. Every spoke has to be present and properly installed in the wheel for it to turn smoothly and no particular spoke is more important than the rest. Just because a submissive or slave stays home that does not mean she is there all day eating bon bons, watching soaps and enjoying her "free ride".

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 3

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 4:35:47 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

LOL; more than one Congressional Cmt has tried to figure out how to tax the homemaker's contribution/foregone income. Maybe someday. But i understand what LovingMaster means; it takes cash to run a household and no one in His home will be non-productive as per income. Very reasonable.

i would imagine non-poly Doms and Masters get these kinds of emails too; especially ones who say "living expenses provided". i have always thought that should not be displayed on a profile, but shared when a submissive woman or subby is under consideration.

One indicia of adulthood is the ability to take care of oneself financially. Even women devasted by divorce who have not worked in 20 years get back into the workforce and provide for their kids. i'm not down on people in school or who have been experiencing unemployment; these are temporary situations that are actively sought to be resolved by a job.

i have enough $$ to provide for myself, but i'd love to have a few extras; more salon treatments, for one. But i am not seeking a wealthy man...not even a middle class one..i am seeking a Man of Character..whatever His accomplishments or station in life. Being able to take care of myself means i don't have to eliminate Men who are not wealthy.

pinkpleasures

< Message edited by pinkpleasures -- 8/12/2005 4:38:43 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 4

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 4:45:10 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I am not sure exactly what you mean by the terms "free ride" and "productive". I know of several poly families who have at least one person in the home who does not work outside of the home. I would not say that they are getting a free ride or not being productive though. It is their job to make sure that the home is always clean, the shopping is always done, the meals are planned and prepared, that everyone in the home has clean clothes to put on each morning, that the floors are always scrubbed and the toilet bowls are shiny. Their Masters prefer it this way.

Well said erin... and I agree. For us it would make our lives more difficult if the sub/slave were to have an outside job.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 5:19:37 AM

tinkJH

Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am not sure exactly what you mean by the terms "free ride" and "productive". I know of several poly families who have at least one person in the home who does not work outside of the home. I would not say that they are getting a free ride or not being productive though. It is their job to make sure that the home is always clean, the shopping is always done, the meals are planned and prepared, that everyone in the home has clean clothes to put on each morning, that the floors are always scrubbed and the toilet bowls are shiny. Their Masters prefer it this way.

While I have always been one to work outside of the home, if a Dominant were to tell me that he wanted me to be the one to stay home and take care of all of the rest that needs to be taken care of, I would not feel any less important. Every spoke has to be present and properly installed in the wheel for it to turn smoothly and no particular spoke is more important than the rest. Just because a submissive or slave stays home that does not mean she is there all day eating bon bons, watching soaps and enjoying her "free ride".

I have to agree. I spend all my day taking care of the kids, the house, cleaning, making meals, doing the laundry, taking care of the animals. If I had to work outside the home.. the daycare bill for the children alone would take up at least 3/4ths of my monthly income. Its just not worth it for 200 - 300 more a month. I don't think I am any less productive because I work inside the home then outside. So.. hey, I guess I am a "free rider" . . . However, its not the sole and only reason I am with Master.

_____________________________

"I know you didn't bring me out here to drown,
so why am I ten feet under and upside down..? " (Lifehouse ~ Storm)

~the everyday rantings of a still learning mommy slave~
http://brazendreams.blogspot.com/

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 6

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 5:31:40 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45

Am I the only one getting this?

Probably not the only one, but its not something I've had to deal with very much in the past. I'm not presently seeking so its a non-issue for me right now. I suspect in the future when I do begin seeking again it is something I will have to deal with carefully.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I would not say that they are getting a free ride or not being productive though. It is their job to make sure that the home is always clean, the shopping is always done, the meals are planned and prepared, that everyone in the home has clean clothes to put on each morning, that the floors are always scrubbed and the toilet bowls are shiny. Their Masters prefer it this way.

Just because a submissive or slave stays home that does not mean she is there all day eating bon bons, watching soaps and enjoying her "free ride".

I'm one of those Masters that prefers it that way. Taking care of my home (and keep in mind I'm something of a neat freak) is a full time job, there are meals to be cooked (I don't like to cook), and other things to be done as forms of service to me. A slave to me most certainly would not be eating bon bons all day while watching soaps, she won't have time for it. I don't view a service slave that actually does provide service as getting a free ride. On the other hand I'm aware there are those who imagine that being a slave just means looking pretty, having hot sex and goofing off when Master isn't around... those most certainly are seeking a free ride. I can only imagine the disappointment I'd be to such "slaves".

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

i would imagine non-poly Doms and Masters get these kinds of emails too; especially ones who say "living expenses provided". i have always thought that should not be displayed on a profile, but shared when a submissive woman or subby is under consideration.

I do have that in my profile and I have no problem being up front about that being part of what I offer. However, I've not received a single email from someone about it. I don't know if that's because my profile indicates I'm not likely to be a sugar daddy, or maybe its some of my posts in these forums, but either way the free loaders seem to be giving me a wide berth. It will be interesting to see if that changes in about 8 months or so when I am ready to start actively seeking and I make clear the range of "benefits" I will be offering.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 7

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 5:51:20 AM

pinkpleasures

Posts: 1114
Status: offline

i still think You deserve a woman whose life is well-ordered, Padriag. Whatever changes the two of Y/you agree to as per the future, You deserve someone who is fully adult.

i think You deserve the best, is all.

pinkpleasures

_____________________________

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 8

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 6:01:29 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i myself can not provide for myself, finacialy, i guess i could, but i have aspergers syndrome and several issues whit this, so had i not met my Dom, i would be living whit me mother or some sort of institution or similar. i am dependant on him in many things. In adition i go on a disability pension so i do not work, he is the one that work outside the home. We share the house work. Am i getting a free ride, maybe, do he mind, no. Ofrouse there are women that only see dollar signs, but some are in this situation for other reasons as well.

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 9

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 6:08:38 AM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

I am Master's full time carer, He has chronic health problems which have been discussed elsewhere on these forums. He is on a disability pension, I get a carer's pension (the same amount each per fortnight).

If He did not have me to take care of Him, He would have ended up in hospital several times in the 18 months we have been together. It is certainly not a "free ride" because, in addition to all the other household tasks, when He is ill (as He is at the moment) I am providing round the clock care. I reckon I have saved the Australian Government hundreds of thousands of dollars so the pittance I am getting as a pension is well worth it to them

FWIW I have money in the bank from my divorce settlement so I have more money than Master does anyway

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 10

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 6:14:08 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I’d have to say that the so called “free ride” would need to be dependent on the financial dynamics and requirements of any particular house.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 11

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 9:03:09 AM

Fidelity

Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

I actually allowed a freeloader like this to move in once-she refused to work,and after three months I booted her ass out. I even offered her paid work in my business-again,she would find any excuse not to help-even around the house.

There are actually many perpetual children like this out there,usually masquerading as slaves of some sort. The quickest way to be rid of these is to state you will require refferences from past Masters, a verifiable employment history,and that you will be doing a background check-including their credit. This will quickly show what patterns they are running.

None of this sort can stand up to this sort of scrutiny,and they will move on to easier pickings.

I hope this helped-at least you may be able to learn from my mistake.

< Message edited by Fidelity -- 8/12/2005 9:06:32 AM >

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 12

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/12/2005 5:21:02 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Has anyone else run into this? Recently there seems to be a rash of women contacting us who, when you get right down to it, are actually looking for a free ride in exchange for their "service".

I gently explain that everyone in this house earns their own way and that we are all busy professionals. One was very upfront and asked me if I knew of a house that was looking for someone who would accept her. I actually placed her as a domestic with an old friend who was looking and could afford someone who was not productive.

Am I the only one getting this?

Poly does not mean a free ride here.

I do think it's a fallacy to assume that someone who does not have a career outside the home is "not productive". My mom didn't work, but she stayed home and raised 5 kids (ok so one turned out a pervert), and I think only someone ignorant would call her "unproductive".

I could definately see the benefit of having someone at home who took care of day to day domestic issues like keeping the house clean, meals on the table, clean clothes ready to go, plus keeping lives generally organized, and who could do that without having the additional responsibility of an outside job. Indeed, you often here about celebrities and other well-to-do's who have "personal assistants" who do much the same thing.

The downside of that IS that the household has to be in a position where it can comfortably afford to have that luxury to provide for such a "personal assistant". Aside from room and board, there's health benefits, an allowance, pension plans. That's an awful lot of expense to absorb.

For the sub in question who wants to serve in such a way....that person needs to carefully consider what being out of the workforce for extended lengths of time will do for their career in the long run. BDSM relationships don't often last more than a few years. What happens if they get sick, when the arrangement ends? Can the sub deal with working long hard hours by themselves, essentially being an employee?

The other thing to consider is, does the sub have a troubled work history, issues with credit, etc. In other words, are they very capable of taking care of themselves before they enter such a situation? If not...then look at it as a prospective employer would. A spotty work history does not bode well for being in another work situation.

From my personal point of view....I will not enter into a relationship with the intention of financially supporting a submissive. Can't afford it, wouldn't do it on ethical grounds - you have to work hard to take care of yourself and your future in this life. I can guarantee after I come home from a long day of work to a sub that has been home all day and the LAST thing I would want to do is play with them, give them attention.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 8/12/2005 6:07:33 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

Post #: 13

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 3:51:46 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

And there will always be predators looking to take financial advantage of subs who aren't cautious or assertive regarding their own welfare.

(in reply to subversiveone)

Post #: 14

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 3:58:34 PM

Fidelity

Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

I think you may have missed the point of this thread being about *submissives* attempting to take advantage of DOMINANTS guy.

< Message edited by Fidelity -- 8/13/2005 3:59:02 PM >

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 15

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 4:02:03 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

Thanks Pink... it'll happen when the time is right, and right now I have other priorities.

Was thinking about the OP today and something occured to me that I thought I'd throw out. From what little I know of Jerry he's an entrepreneur. Most such people I know tend to be very self reliant people who tend to respect that in others. Made me wonder if his apparent dislike for submissives who don't work might be related to that. Just a thought.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to pinkpleasures)

Post #: 16

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 4:09:50 PM

Fidelity

Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

I'm also self-employed Padriag.

I work very hard,anyone in my household will also have to pull thier share of the load. So I can understand Jerry disliking slackers.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 17

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 4:18:30 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fidelity

I'm also self-employed Padriag.

I work very hard,anyone in my household will also have to pull thier share of the load. So I can understand Jerry disliking slackers.

I wonder if there are more self employed people into bdsm?

Personally, I never thought I would be in a relationship with a man that did not have a job and career. I detest laziness and am an overacheiver myself. I own my own business (not related to kink) and work from home. In my case, my relationship with my partner started off in real life with him not working at all, because he was on a tourist visa and could not work legally.

I was NOT seeking a houseboy or servant in the home or anything of the sort. But during his time of not being employed he did not behave in any way like a freeloader - he kept busy, he started taking over all the household responsibilities, all the cooking, errands and whatever small pieces of my work I could offload to someone not in my industry. It worked out so well, so smoothly, that when he did end up getting a green card and a job outside the house with a financial firm, it lasted less than a year. I wanted him back at the house full time taking care of the things he used to and becoming more involved in my business.

However, I can tell you that I doubt I would have taken that attitude with just any "guy" that I was dating who happened to live under my roof. Any signs of laziness, sleeping til noon, playing video games all day and seeing it as a free vacation and he'd have gotten the boot because I'd be seriously agitated after working my ass off to make a living.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Fidelity)

Post #: 18

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 4:25:18 PM

Fidelity

Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline

That was the way I felt too.

Seriously agitated at being expected to support someone who only wanted to play online for ten hours a day-and then complain she was too tired to do anything after.

I even caught her wearing some online idiots collar in a chat room. I guess she had already figured out that her time was about up. And was fishing for her next victim. I pulled the plug on the computer at about that time,and spared the poor bastard.

She ended up going to an ex switch girlfriend of mine, when I gave her the boot-who also gave her the boot, about a month after that. Some people never grow up.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 19

RE: Looking for a free ride - 8/13/2005 4:53:52 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I wonder if there are more self employed people into bdsm?

Yup, I think there are several of us.

quote:

However, I can tell you that I doubt I would have taken that attitude with just any "guy" that I was dating who happened to live under my roof. Any signs of laziness, sleeping til noon, playing video games all day and seeing it as a free vacation and he'd have gotten the boot because I'd be seriously agitated after working my ass off to make a living.

I can relate to this. I have no problem with a "stay at home slave" so long as they make themselves useful and help out in various ways. Truth be told at this point I prefer someone who stays at home. But if a gal thinks she can live under my roof and curl up on a silk pillow all day, naked or not, she's in for a rude awakening.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 20

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