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would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 9:50:58 PM   
kirby104


Posts: 94
Joined: 6/6/2005
Status: offline 		Presently, I definitely would as I have much much disappointment.  I have had to turn to other outlets, such as art.

Why? Being kinky brings heartbreak. I found that I am a top who enjoys bottoming, but there isn't an outlet for either.

I am just adrift.

I know better than to ask for help here. This is just another outlet.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 9:58:23 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		N E V E R - its who i am  not a coat i can take off and put on again , and i shall be this way til death .

(in reply to kirby104)
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RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:06:15 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		It's part of what makes me, me. No I wouldn't go back. I'm fortunate to be involved in local groups and have great friends and my bottoming needs are met enough to keep me going, though not as much or often as I'd like.

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Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to azropedntied)
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RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:13:35 PM   
texancutie2


Posts: 40
Joined: 11/23/2007
Status: offline 		Never again...have been turned to the dark side.  Though if I make 75 years of age and can no longer do this and am alone with my cat for company, or even multiple cats since I will be the cat lady of Houston, I may change my mind.  Not to make light of your situation, am sorry you can't find the right person for you.

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:16:15 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		You are basicly describing a switch and there are alot of places you can fit in... heartbreak exists in mainstream and BDSM.


Part of what makes me, me is  being a submissive/masochist/slave/poly/bi/wife--- lol pick your term out of the long list of many things that make up who I am and I would not trade or change any of it.


Wolf's denika

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:23:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's not being kinky that causes you misery.  That's like saying being black in the 1800s caused you to be miserable.  Or having AIDS in the 80s.  And those were a lot harder to hide than being kinky.

I AM vanilla, in that I have vanilla relationships that I maintain very well, even my kinky relationship is vanilla based.  I don't separate things out, I don't discriminate.

Give up not being true to yourself, give up false expectations, give up bad judgement.  Then see where you stand.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to denika)
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RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:27:13 PM   
slavejale


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings to the Free
greetings to properties

well technically Mistress (LuckyAlbatross) [please forgive me if You are not Mistress, i did not look at the profile first and this is fast reply]  being black in the 1800's DID cause them to be miserable....just saying. technically.

note: not trying to start a racial thing here, just stating a technical point.

well wishes to All and all.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 10:28:24 PM   
slavejale


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings to the Free
greetings to the properties

i did forgot to add that NO i would not be um what's it called ...yeah vanilla. thats too weird for me. i am who i am...

well wishes to All and all.

(in reply to slavejale)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 11:14:58 PM   
sexyone4you


Posts: 613
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I've tried going back.  It's boring.  Don't do it!  Step away from the light!

(in reply to slavejale)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/27/2007 11:42:28 PM   
MistressSadie69


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/13/2007
Status: offline 		Depends on which sense you are talking about.

Could I leave this site, drop my "title", and give up my "slaves"? Absolutely. I've found that most of the men I've met on here so far seem to be more trouble than they are worth. There is a ton of heartbreak waiting to be had, as there are many insincere people that abuse the fact that they are hiding behind a computer screen.

However, I'm dominant by nature. I've worn the pants in every (noteworthy) relationship i've had. I'm opinionated, i'm sarcastic, and I like to have my way, and I don't like to wait to have it! lol. I'm also completely addicted to foot rubs, and so being with me means rubbing my feet- often. It's just part of the package. It's me, who I am, and I couldn't change it if I tried.

Well, unless I lost both of my feet in some freak accident.

(in reply to sexyone4you)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 12:25:52 AM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings F/folks.
i presently have that dilemma myself. As a 44 year old male and having to live with vanilla partners married and as relationship i found that vanilla is alright for the short term. But then Y/you would find that You will be looking for the fetish or kink Y/you wish to satisfy for Y/yourself. Unless Y/your partner does not understand of Y/your (other) side then Y/you will have problems.. Interest will be lost from each other and parties will look elsewhere for satisfaction. (trust me i know first hand).. i have the same problem at the moment but i would rather stay single if i wont find that someone who can understand me. Cheers..

(in reply to MistressSadie69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 3:09:28 AM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		I wouldn't go back to vanilla.

Then again, when I stepped away from the BDSM lifestyle and went "vanilla," I was still so dominant in my dealings that when I returned to actively practicing the lifestyle, those few that I told what was going on looked at me and said - "Well of course."  So honestly, while I think I could leave kink out of it - I don't think I could actually leave the D/s dynamic out of it, since I basically incorporate that dynamic into BDSM and vanilla relationships automatically.

(in reply to petpete)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 6:41:57 AM   
LivingInSin


Posts: 326
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes I wish I could. IMO this lifestyle doesnt leave you any barriers to hide from yourself. Everything, from feelings to sensations are deeper. I've tried "weaning" myself from the community but always seem to find myself coming back.

_____________________________

*Instead of complaining that rose bushes have thorns, rejoice that thorn bushes bloom*

*Myth says that only the woman who has been an utter slave can be truly free------this is no myth*


(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 6:57:43 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This is a difficult question.  Not one that I take lightheartedly.
 
I'm going to go with your subject line, rather than your post.  The question being, would I go (back to) vanilla?  The truth of the matter is that I would.  In fact, I've done so in the past.  Would it be harder for Me today, already knowing what I know?  It most certainly would.  However, I would do so if the need was more important than needs of My own.  There was a promise that I made about six years ago that would demand it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LivingInSin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 6:57:52 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		At the moment I don't want to go back.  Though it is frustrating trying to find partners.  OP, if you havn't,  you should consider looking into your local community, may have better luck there.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to LivingInSin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 7:09:27 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Sensation wise, yes we will all have to give it up eventually. I doubt there are many 90 year olds still swinging floggers. But even in a non sensation relationship, I would still only be attracted to strong, patient men. I need to be able to turn to my partner in need, more than that, I need him to decide when he needs to take over, even when I claim I don't need that. I don't judge that very well.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 7:58:29 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kirby104

Presently, I definitely would as I have much much disappointment.  I have had to turn to other outlets, such as art.

Why? Being kinky brings heartbreak. I found that I am a top who enjoys bottoming, but there isn't an outlet for either.

I am just adrift.

I know better than to ask for help here. This is just another outlet.

Define vanilla.

/shrug

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 8:01:26 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		No, i would never go totally vanilla as that would require me to go unconscious again about some very fundamental needs and desires to my own fulfillment and happiness.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 8:11:12 AM   
AFlyInYourWeb


Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline 		No.  If I did, I'd regret it...and probably in a matter of months, not years. 

Where does that leave my "vanilla" partner after I start to feel the regrets?

It puts her in a position she probably doesn't want to be in.  Why would I do that someone I presumably like?

I'd rather be alone than to settle for "second-best".




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(in reply to kirby104)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: would you go vanilla? - 11/28/2007 8:14:42 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I agree (surprisesurprise) with LA.  I don't discriminate or seperate either.  I don't just switch off who or what I am.  I couldn't even if I wanted to.
Blaming disappointment on not being 'involved' or having an outlet is easy.  Admitting it's your personal responsibility to be happy is  much harder.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 20
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