Experienced vs. Skilled (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:19:29 AM)

I am no longer going to use the word "experienced" to describe a person's ability to do BDSM.  Instead I am going to use the word skill.  I think it is more descriptive of what we are trying to say.  A person can be "experienced" and have all of that experience as failure whereas "skill" more clearly indicates what we mean.  In addition, it strips away time as an indicator of "experience".  Someone can be gifted and develop skill quickly, some take longer, and some never get it.

Thoughts, comments, derision?



Vanatru -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:24:43 AM)

Wouldn't that depend on the application, like: someone that's experienced as a sub would imply they have actually been someone's sub and spent time doing it. And someone that's studied flogging techniques and been taught by several people on their proper use would imply they are skilled?



ownedgirlie -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:26:43 AM)

I like it.  Of course then you'll be asked to define "skilled."  Skilled in what?  What do you consider to be unskilled?  Etc. 

But I think it's somewhat more descriptive and probably opens the door to more conversation.



toservez -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:35:11 AM)

I like it a lot. It still has a connotation of superiority to it in terms of what one person on the receiving end finds skilled another might find lame but in my mind a big improvement. I have always had an issue with people trying to use time as a tangible I am better then others angle. The term skill to me takes that part out of the equation.

I would love to see it catch on.



Jeffff -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:35:22 AM)

I like it. It  puts a finer point on things I think. Regardless of role, it seems to define what most people would seek.

Jeff



BloodLuna -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:45:06 AM)

(dictionary.com)
 
ex·pe·ri·ence  /ɪkˈspɪər[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]i[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]əns/ noun, verb, -enced, -enc·ing. –noun
1.  a particular instance of personally encountering or undergoing something: My encounter with the bear in the woods was a frightening experience.
2.  the process or fact of personally observing, encountering, or undergoing something: business experience.
3.the observing, encountering, or undergoing of things generally as they occur in the course of time: to learn from experience; the range of human experience.
4.knowledge or practical wisdom gained from what one has observed, encountered, or undergone: a man of experience.

skill14    /skɪl/  –noun
1.the ability, coming from one's knowledge, practice, aptitude, etc., to do something well: Carpentry was one of his many skills.
2.competent excellence in performance; expertness; dexterity: The dancers performed with skill.
3. a craft, trade, or job requiring manual dexterity or special training in which a person has competence and experience: the skill of cabinetmaking.

I really really like this.  I think this helps define the difference between those who have the "experience" of studying, reading, watching and maybe not performing, or of not having performed well versus those that have applied both experience and practical application into it.  A person can say they are experienced and mean they've been studying for 10 years and know all the information (a law student freshly graduated has experience) while someone skilled has performed (the lawyer with 5 years tenure has actually stepped into a court room and argued a case) 

Rock On!!

Lady Luna



LadyPact -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 8:50:40 AM)

SimplyMichael, I happen to like the difference.  In many ways, it's reflective on how I feel about certain things these days.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:01:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

Wouldn't that depend on the application, like: someone that's experienced as a sub would imply they have actually been someone's sub and spent time doing it. And someone that's studied flogging techniques and been taught by several people on their proper use would imply they are skilled?


Skill is the demonstrability to do something well at a given level.  I am quite skillful at relationships, my skill at mindfucks is pretty high, my skill at bondage is nowhere near what I would like.  In other words, one could be unskilled, partially skilled, highly skilled, etc.  No single word and in fact no string of words will be better than actually witnessing the particular skill in use.  However, think that using skill as a descriptor is better than experience, clearly the concept resonates with others.



FRSguy -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:04:48 AM)

Good Call,  I like it!



SimplyMichael -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:11:33 AM)

It just hit me why it works so much better for me:

Experienced is a quantitative word, meaning I have 10 years of bad experience randomly beating someone with a cane.

vs.

Skill is a qualitative word, meaning I can put 10 perfectly spaced stripes on a submissives ass with cane.



yrstocollar -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:12:01 AM)

I like it alot!!

Just because you have experience doesn't mean you have reached a certain skill level. Also just because you haven't experienced something alot doesn't mean you might not be naturally quite skilled at it.

Plus using the word skill implies that you can continue to practise, refine, learn and generally improve upon your skills as opposed to "been there done that" which the word experience can imply... I like to think that we're all striving to improve our skills rather than just have experiences.... well those are fun too! :)



tanzur -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:13:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am no longer going to use the word "experienced" to describe a person's ability to do BDSM.  Instead I am going to use the word skill.  I think it is more descriptive of what we are trying to say.  A person can be "experienced" and have all of that experience as failure whereas "skill" more clearly indicates what we mean.  In addition, it strips away time as an indicator of "experience".  Someone can be gifted and develop skill quickly, some take longer, and some never get it.

Thoughts, comments, derision?

It is much easier when the word skilled is used. I like it.



szobras -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:20:25 AM)

 I agree with using the word skill as a more specific descriptor. Thank you for this insightful post. Much in the way of my daily life surrounds this concept. Skill and experience in my thinking are quite different. I see experience as the canvas of opportunity for skills to be aquired, honed, discovered, and practiced. Skills are personal tools for expression I feel. The more adept skills one posesses, the more vehicles, and better ability to convey ones expressions. However, just because one has a canvas placed in front of them does not mean they will grasp the opportunity to express themself at all, more less on a higher level of ability to do so.
~edited for additions~



charlotte12 -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:41:01 AM)

I like it as well and will probably try to start using it. I have a question for you though. Do you think that one can be a "skilled Dominant" or a "skilled submissive" or are you refering more to specific activities. I would personally love to see people saying things like "I am a Dominant with skill in flogging and fireplay" or "I am a submissive with skill in certain slave positions etc." Generally what feels funny to me more than someone claiming experience as skill is the notion that one can be good at a personality trait. I believe that skill in different areas increases one's ability to have a good D/s relationship but it's when i see people claim that their Dominance or submission is somehow better than someone elses based on the number of times they've held a whip or been trained to serve in certain ways that something feels....off.

Sorry if this is branching off the topic of your OP. It simply got me to thinking (as you do sometimes) and so i thought i would ask you how you feel about claims of skill in the general arena of Dominance and submission.

Thanks for the food for morning musings. [:D]

charlotte



chellekitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:46:06 AM)

i think it would be formatted like this "i am an experienced submissive, skilled in x, y and z"
so...you would actually use both...because technically...you have to have some experience to become skilled...otherwise its like going to college to become a doctor but never doing the internship....all the knowledge without the experience doesn't do you much good in the real world...



Stephann -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:50:35 AM)

Hi Michael,

I'm with ya, it's a better way to say it.  At the same time, I think it smacks a little like splitting hairs.  I would probably have the same healthy measure of skepticism for someone 'skilled' as I would for someone 'experienced.'  Actions and reputation speak much louder than words, for me.

I also think it does have a limited context that it can be used; I believe a Top or bottom might be experienced/skilled in certain activities, but I wouldn't have much regard for someone who was a 'skilled dominant.'  While one may, in fact, be skilled in dominating others, I don't see the actual skill of dominating to be especially desirable.  I'd rather describe someone in a more general term; a 'good' dominant, to me, says not only is he good at actually dominating, but also he's generally a good person as well.  Hitler was a skilled leader, but I wouldn't consider him to be a good leader.

Regards,

Stephan



charlotte12 -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:55:44 AM)

How do you see experience being relevent to the Dominance or submission though? In my mind that equates to someone saying "I am an experienced woman with skill in math and walking in high heels."

I'm not trying to be argumentative, just thinking outloud and am curious how others see it and why they choose to use the word "experienced" before "Dominant" or "submissive."

charlotte.. who is sometimes *too* curious [:)]



juliaoceania -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 9:56:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i think it would be formatted like this "i am an experienced submissive, skilled in x, y and z"
so...you would actually use both...because technically...you have to have some experience to become skilled...otherwise its like going to college to become a doctor but never doing the internship....all the knowledge without the experience doesn't do you much good in the real world...



I think this is a very precise way to use language... or the word "expert" is rather a good adjective also...

"I have 5 years experience as a submissive, I have honed my skills expertly in the art of tea service, massage, and I have read all the books on Gor that exist"

edited to add, the part about Gor was a little tongue in cheek



chellekitty -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 10:02:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

How do you see experience being relevent to the Dominance or submission though? In my mind that equates to someone saying "I am an experienced woman with skill in math and walking in high heels."

I'm not trying to be argumentative, just thinking outloud and am curious how others see it and why they choose to use the word "experienced" before "Dominant" or "submissive."

charlotte.. who is sometimes *too* curious [:)]


it would seem that you take for granted that you have been able to be submissive for a long while, like being a woman...
imagine that for the first 20 or 30 years of your life you had to act as if you were a man...you would need experience in being your "true" (as much as i hate the word) self as a woman...that is what it is like for a great number of people who discover the lifestyle later in life...



agirl -> RE: Experienced vs. Skilled (11/28/2007 10:06:10 AM)

quote:

I am no longer going to use the word "experienced" to describe a person's ability to do BDSM. Instead I am going to use the word skill. I think it is more descriptive of what we are trying to say. A person can be "experienced" and have all of that experience as failure whereas "skill" more clearly indicates what we mean. In addition, it strips away time as an indicator of "experience". Someone can be gifted and develop skill quickly, some take longer, and some never get it.

Thoughts, comments, derision?


I've said, and other's have too, that having 10 yrs *experience* can merely mean 10 yrs of repeating Year 1.

When OTHER people speak of someone's skill or experience I will take my usual stance of having a look and deciding for myself.

agirl
 



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