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If............. - 8/12/2005 6:33:33 PM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline 		If you could tell someone coming into the lifestyle or curious even just one thing that you knew they would hear and heed........ What would it be ?


I would tell them to learn themselves first before trying to find someone to share it with.

< Message edited by Sasy -- 8/12/2005 6:34:14 PM >
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 6:44:01 PM   
greenie


Posts: 579
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline 		Read, read, read, read! anything and everything they could get their hands on! books and internet. then ask questions! as many as necessary.

(in reply to Sasy)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 7:19:41 PM   
perfection20005


Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline 		To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs.

_____________________________

perfection

"I took one look at Him, and I knew He was my Master."

(in reply to Sasy)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 7:40:55 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Find someone experienced and trustworthy to be a sounding board and keep you realistic in the beginning when you are in a frenzy and aching to fulfill your submissive needs.

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 7:48:12 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with this completely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005

To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs.


(in reply to perfection20005)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 7:56:06 PM   
pinkpleasures


Posts: 1114
Status: offline
i don't know what you mean by "coming into this lifestyle". Coming onto collarme, i would have been lost without my mentor. Be there for your friend; teach her to read profiles as well as letters; explain the skills and interests; try to instill in her the need for safety.

Welcome to a new person!

pinkpleasures

_____________________________



(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 7:57:08 PM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		i would tell them to take things slow and learn one thing at a time.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 8:13:35 PM   
RavenofPK


Posts: 320
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sasy

If you could tell someone coming into the lifestyle or curious even just one thing that you knew they would hear and heed........ What would it be ?




Greetings,

I won't speak of the "bdsm" side of things, for I don't consider it a lifestyle. But for the Gorean lifestyle, I would suggest they turn around, and run, fast as they can, in the other direction. Not because it is an awful way to live one's life, but more so it is a very taxing, and difficult way to live one's life. Very, very few manage to walk the walk. And if then, they still persist to live in such a way, I would suggest reading all the books (not just the first few), more than once, and spend a few years searching inside themselves for their true, honest nature.

It's not an "overnight" revelation. It's an endless journey.

Raven

(in reply to Sasy)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 9:00:21 PM   
quietlilone


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		Looking beyond the bitter overtone of the above message, I would agree with the last remark.

You can't just jump in feet first and expect to know it all in an instant, you have to take your time, keep learning, and exploring and finding your own personal limits, before you put yourself into someone elses hands that is going to test them. Make certain this is what you truly want, need even, or you'll end up miserable and maybe even in an unsafe situation. JMO.

(in reply to RavenofPK)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 9:52:18 PM   
comesoncommand


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		A phrase a good friend shares with me on a continuous basis...Above all, be true to yourself.

(in reply to quietlilone)
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RE: If............. - 8/12/2005 11:44:23 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Don't talk to much, you'll end up eating your words. You gotta learn the walk before you can talk about it.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to comesoncommand)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 12:09:03 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Behave like an independent responsible mature adult, even if you aren't one.

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 12:47:24 AM   
Fidelity


Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		You can't wear the cuffs ALL the time.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 1:06:46 AM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would tell them to find out as much as they can on their own. I'd also say don't take any one person's word as gospel - make your own decisions based on who you are.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 10:49:10 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		To always remember to value themselves first and foremost.

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 11:09:05 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		" It is not just a game"

"it" is multi level, layered and complex. A game that can touch the senses: body, soul, mind. Intellect and primal core. One will change; or rather evolve, perhaps come home.

Plus, its a hell of a good time! )

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 11:21:29 AM   
Nuke718


Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: perfection20005

To be honest with themselves and their partner, and make sure they can communicate about their wants needs.


You nailed it. If you can't be honest about what you want, chances are good you will not like what you get.

N }:-

(in reply to perfection20005)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: If............. - 8/13/2005 11:30:37 AM   
subversiveone


Posts: 332
Joined: 4/20/2005
From: Daddy's Lap
Status: offline 		i would tell them to try it in real life with an existing partner... i see too many women discover it online, get crazed with desire and then experience it for the first time with someone sexually that maybe they've got no real history with. not only is that dangerous but it can leave them with a skewed sense of what it's really like. the only exception i can think of is if you're lucky enough to find an experienced mentor right away or you join a local play party that can give you a 'taste' safely.
the second best piece of advice would be to put actual sex on the backburner during the initial stages (again especially if this is a new partner) because if you can establish your feelings on it outside of play, you'll be better for it in the long run.

_____________________________

[img]http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style4,de-spc-de-spc-dee.png[/img]

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: If............. - 8/14/2005 10:39:40 PM   
nenakajira


Posts: 221
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		To understand yourself.. your needs and desires and the reasons behind them.. the good bad and ugly.. before you decide to become part of something of this nature. To embrace your true nature and fully accept every part of yourself first.. otherwise, youre just along for a ride.

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: If............. - 8/14/2005 10:46:36 PM   
comesoncommand


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

" It is not just a game"

"it" is multi level, layered and complex. A game that can touch the senses: body, soul, mind. Intellect and primal core. One will change; or rather evolve, perhaps come home.

Plus, its a hell of a good time! )

Wonderfully put!

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 20
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