RE: Body Imperfections

RE: Body Imperfections (Full Version)

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 5:43:54 PM)
I was born with a facial defect, and grew up with really obvious scars, etc. Now that I am middle aged, all kinds of awfulness is happening! Thank goodness I can still be a good dominant with one tit that hangs an inch lower than the other. Big ass? Excellent for that smothering... big tits...yep. Compared to dealing with the intricacies of someone else's mind, accepting their physical quirks is a snap!

kallisto -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 6:35:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Compared to dealing with the intricacies of someone else's mind, accepting their physical quirks is a snap! LadyHibiscus, I agree with you. You made an excellent point.

theq -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 7:27:23 PM)
Show me a perfect body and I'll show you an airbrushed photo. Everyone has imperfections. I think worrying about a 4" scar on your stomach is a bit overboard. You may tell her that I have a 4" scar that extends from the lower back of my skull all the way down the back of my neck, probably about 3-4". Q

TreasureKY -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 8:03:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bardtothebone The Dom who deserves you will see only your mind - The rest is merely wrapping, whose imperfections would be irrelevant. If that's not how they feel, find someone better. The Bard Pfft... fluff and nonsense... rainbows and unicorns. [8\|]

Leatherist -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 8:55:11 PM)
A blemished body is much easier to deal with than a spiteful mind.

theq -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 9:39:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist A blemished body is much easier to deal with than a spiteful mind. Hear, Hear. Indeed

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 9:47:52 PM)
Without reading the entirety of the thread becasue I am too tired to do so... I have earned every single scar on my body. I have one on my foot from a surgery after a karate tournament where I dislocated my toe and put it back in myself so I could finish the tournament becasue I refused to back out of the men's division. I took home silver and then was on crutches for 5 weeks. I have slashes on both wrists from defending myself against a wouldbe rapist... I looked bad, he looked worse. I have a gash down the back of my leg that I got against the rocks catching my little brother from tumbling headlong down a 15 foot drop into the ocean. The list goes on, but you get the point. I have only one scar on my body that doesnt have an interesting story, and it is quite recent. It has a story, ut it isnt nearly as grand as the otehrs. Fox and I dropped a canoe on my foot. Anyone who coud possibly see the scars I have as something less that trophies of my achievements and adventures could never be part of my life. I have earned the ones I have, and I am sure I will be gathering more along the way. They may not be the most asthetically amazing parts of me, but thay are part of what make me beautiful. DV

ftmboyfag -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/28/2008 11:26:06 PM)
Haven't read it all either...but here's my two cents. While some really huge bodily imperfection might be distracting or hard to get used to(like an amputation or boils, I guess) I'm distinctly relieved to not that my partner has imperfections, because I do too. I'm a transguy, and I unfortunately still have my breasts. Due to a past breast reduction and binding, they are keloidally scarred and quite saggy. Not only that, but they look weirder and weirder on me as the testosterone does it's job and makes my body look like it should. I am very, very self-concious about it. I talked with D about it before we ever did anything, and continue to talk with him whever I'm feeling especially down about it. He always says he can't believe they're there because he looks at me and sees only a man(longing sigh). In bed, although he usually likes me to call the shots, I let him decide when he wants me to take off my shirt-- it makes me feel better. Having sex only in the dark or clothed would only call attention to my body and my fears, so I don't give into it. Like I said, it's nice to see some flaws on a partner. Can't have them looking all perfect when you're not! It's not good for your ego!

TreasureKY -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/29/2008 4:35:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist A blemished body is much easier to deal with than a spiteful mind. I couldn't agree more. However, I'm not about to spout some silly romantic idea notion that a deserving dominant should only see my mind. Appreciation for a person's mind can make body imperfections irrelevant, but it doesn't make the body invisible.

UR2Badored -> RE: Body Imperfections (7/29/2008 6:30:20 AM)
Fast reply--I am glad your friend survived cancer, and I am sure her husband is grateful for that scar since it was apparently life saving and a testiment to her strength. In that respect, people see things differently. Alice Walker's essay, “Beauty:When The Other Dancer is The Self,” shows how warped the view of ourselves can be better than I can. As long as your friend doesnt sport outdated spandex fashions from the early 90's, I am sure she will be just fine.[8D]

elleelisa -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 2:09:35 AM)
This hits right at home because I have such major body issues. Rationally, it's ridiculous. I'm a size 14/16, healthy, tall, curvy, and dare I say beautiful and yet I always assume that the reason I have been unsuccessful at dating thus far (granted, I'm only 20) is because of my body. I think I'm too fat, I have cellulite, I have scars on my lower back and thighs... and "who would want to date that?" I have this negative person inside my head CONSTANTLY berating me. And no matter how many times someone tells mes how gorgeous I am, deep-down I don't believe it and getting naked in front of a guy is a HUGE struggle. Is there help for this? How can I not give a shit????

SimplyMichael -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 7:36:32 AM)
I have a friend who is a very handsome man, very athletic, self made and quite successful, a great dancer, socially adapt, etc. All in all a great chance and many very hot women hang around him. However, they don't look hot to him, even if me and others have to wipe the drool from our lips. He likes women big and when I say big I mean BIG. l He likes them WAY past size 20 but he can't seem to make a relationship last. Why? Because one of two things happen, when he buys them 5lb boxes of chocolate, they are so happy someone finally loves them for who they are the weight just starts falling off. OR. They just can never believe that this amazing black man actually can love them and so their insecurities slowly undermine and destroy the relationship. Hell, it took me a long time to believe BSB really could love me and my body issue was a major part of that. She has an issue that she too is really insecure about although more with how others see her than me, she knows how I feel about her.

elleelisa -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 11:28:52 AM)
Hmm, well I know that there are a lot of men who like big girls (BIG girls :] ) but I'm sort of just a tall, plump, Monica Lewinsky type. I feel like I don't fit in with the skinny women, and I don't fit in with the BBWs.... I'm right in the middle, a little bigger than normal. Slowly I'm working toward self-acceptance, but it's tricky negotiating 20 years of insecurity and self-doubt. Even if I lost all the weight and had the "perfect" body, I know I would still be just as discontent. Odd.

Lucylastic -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 11:42:35 AM)
Ive always been fat, had a very flufy tummy that expanded after I had kids, many scars, a relief map of the worlds worth of stretch marks and numerous scars from surgeries. I had gotton to the point where I was starting to accept myself, when all of a sudden, I got bells palsy, which left my face lopsided and unable to smile on the left side. I havent had a picture taken of myself since then. Its the main reason I dont have one in my profile. Its not how I feel inside, it cant be me...kinda thing.... It affected me badly, I know I will work the issue out, but until then, you only get a pic of me taken 4 years ago. My family, my partner and friends all tell me that it doesnt look bad, but it feels bad. funny how the mind works huh Lucy

elleelisa -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 4:19:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic Ive always been fat, had a very flufy tummy that expanded after I had kids, many scars, a relief map of the worlds worth of stretch marks and numerous scars from surgeries. I had gotton to the point where I was starting to accept myself, when all of a sudden, I got bells palsy, which left my face lopsided and unable to smile on the left side. I havent had a picture taken of myself since then. Its the main reason I dont have one in my profile. Its not how I feel inside, it cant be me...kinda thing.... It affected me badly, I know I will work the issue out, but until then, you only get a pic of me taken 4 years ago. My family, my partner and friends all tell me that it doesnt look bad, but it feels bad. funny how the mind works huh Lucy That really sucks, I'm sorry. :( Not to sound shallow, but have any of you considered plastic surgery. I'm too young to think about it, but I do wonder once I have children and get older if I'll decide to feed into my vanity. I suppose you just need to remember that there is ALWAYS someone less fortunate and always someone more fortunate. It could be better, it could be worse.

Lucylastic -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 4:27:01 PM)
smiles, no plastic surgery for me, I talked to the neurologist and he admitted that because I hadnt responded to facial training.... the plastic surgery/nerve fixing couldnt guarantee anything, that it could work, it could make it look worse. SO im gonna stay the way I am, and be thankful that my loved ones, love me back.:) I dont think Im hard done by, lifes a bitch and sometimes its your turn to deal with it.... it could have been a lot worse, at first I thought I was having a stroke....everything after that was a walk in the park, except for the shyness.... Lucy

lally3 -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 6:23:27 PM)
you know, i wish we could all be in the same room right now and just 'be'.. when a group of people get together and share so much thats private and personal and actually quite difficult to deal with - and when it helps people out, i think its brilliant. ive been feeling pretty fragile about my body image just recently - dealing with things not being how they used to be, scars from an op i had last year and just, well, not feeling all that confident about myself, this thread has really really helped me out and put my issues in place too. the big message is that it shouldnt matter and if it matters to someone then sod em - who needs that level of shallow in their lives anyway.

Racquelle -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 6:47:44 PM)
I was talking with a co-worker about something the other day and he mentioned a friend and said "she's a beautiful girl". I simply asked - "Do women come any other way but beautiful?" We agreed. Beautiful is the standard model for women. I grew-up loving my tits, and very little else about my body. I had too much butt, not enough height, troublesome hair and that awful gap in my teeth. I love all of it now, and I do what I can to accentuate my positives. I joke that I wish I had known more black men growing up, because they are so vocal about loving the booty. I am going to recommend every woman here read the Sweet Potato Queens books - they can change your outlook. What we can change most easily is what is in our hearts and minds, and when we become beautiful inside - it soooooooo shows on the outside.

AMaster -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 6:52:53 PM)
There is beauty in each of us.

master24mids -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/1/2008 6:56:07 PM)
imho you love somebody for there imperfections/quirks - perfect people are just imperfect people who are loved

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