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djaleksandr -> RE: Body Imperfections (8/5/2008 1:55:23 AM)
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Oh, the gauntlet of body image issues.
I'm covered in stretch marks. They're old, from when I was roughly 11 and grew very rapidly, and blend in to my skin, but in the right light, you can see them. Silver stripes, across my hips, my thighs, my ass. I call them tiger stripes, and I adore them. It's like a bad ass tattoo, a metallic one at that.
Not everyone has felt the same way.
I'm 6'2, and 140lbs on a good day, and I have had lovers turn from me in disgust. Stretch marks. Translucent skin. Bones. As a teenager, I was even thinner than I am now: at one point, I was 6'2 and roughly 110lbs, after a bout of illness. My lover turned away from me, saddened, and told me he just couldn't get aroused because of how skinny I was. I've had people turn me down (normally, it's men), because my height turns them off. I've been told, harshly, that I need to go eat something, that I looked like I came out of a concentration camp.
And what I have to say to that is: bullshit.
There will always be people who will find faults. Let them. And grow from them. One of the most painful things was the look in my lover's eyes, when he told me he just couldn't become aroused because my body sickened him. It made me angry, but it honestly wasn't his fault -- he still cared for me, still held me and hugged me, but just wasn't attracted to me anymore. It was his loss. I left him, and found another lover who could appreciate my body, who could see past the spine and the knobby wrists and the hollow cheekbones, and they were there when I became healthy again.
I get knocked down all the time, but whatever. It's MY body, and if you don't like it, well, don't look then. ;)
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