RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when....

RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (Full Version)

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Phin -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 2:06:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling ohhhhhhhh..........I gotta use that one!!!!!! I did... once.... I was "stunt bottoming" for a new Domme. She and the DM walked up and asked for the color... I said Pink. the DM looked at her, said "he just insulted you, do something about it."

Tigrita -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:02:00 PM)
When you call your dominant anal-retentive in the forums you know he reads. [sm=whap.gif]

Muttling -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:10:57 PM)
A good friend of mine was ordered to bring 100 clothes pins to her master. She came back with a bag full of these... http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e4/Clothpin.jpg/200px-Clothpin.jpg The look on his face was priceless, as were the cane welts on her rump.

smilezz -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:15:53 PM)
....when all tied up, you cock your head to the side and with THAT voice say: G'head...FIND my limit! (by the way.......i NEVER suggest anyone do this) LOL!! gadz! ~smilezz~

sammiebabygirl -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:18:19 PM)
Muttling, That is awesome!!!! When my last Dom acquired a huge bag of clothespins, they mysteriously disappeared. It has been a little over 3 years since we split and I never did tell him where they are. [8D] jen

Stephann -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:20:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita When you call your dominant anal-retentive in the forums you know he reads. [sm=whap.gif] Especially when it's the truth. Questions about paid vacation and holidays from the collar are also a good indicator...

sammiebabygirl -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:25:05 PM)
Make sure you learn how your Master/Mistress likes his/her toy bag packed and after playing ALWAYS offer to repack it. He/She has worked very hard and should not have to do any menial chores. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to hide the toys you don't like. [;)] [:D] jen

worththeeffort -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 3:27:43 PM)
using fast reply... The phrase "You CAN be replaced" (said with the obligatory raised eyebrow pursed lips) always seems to elicit an interesting response... like not haing an orgasm for a month.... ~kitty

wisteriaV -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 4:20:39 PM)
Pass gas loudly in a crowded store turn and look at your Dom and say geez honey I told you about those refried beans and walk away..trust me when you get home he will remind you of it no matter how hard you laughed two isles over and you won't sit down for a while.

daddyncherry -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 4:24:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl Make sure you learn how your Master/Mistress likes his/her toy bag packed and after playing ALWAYS offer to repack it. He/She has worked very hard and should not have to do any menial chores. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to hide the toys you don't like. [;)] [:D] jen Ya know i thought of this kind of thing a few weeks ago...i had hidden my Daddy's lexan cane for weeks....and had recently brought it back out (it didn't phase him much cause there is ALWAYS something else to use)....So as i was told to pack up the toy bag before we went out he gave me very explicit instructions..."Young lady, make sure that everything is in there that is supposed to be. If anything is missing I will beat you so badly and there will be so much pain." i thought about leaving something important out...BUT WHY????? (temporary insanity)....i thought better of it and packed everything up the way is should be.....(i almost even grabbed the kitchen utensils that he uses occasionally-JUST IN CASE) After the beating i did receive that night i was ever so grateful that i HADN'T left out even a small piece of lint....UMMMM OUCH

mitch125 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 4:29:03 PM)
... when you're OTK, and reach down to pick-up a book to read.

elderrook -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 5:12:13 PM)
Great thread! And great ideas! I only hope I finish writing these all down before Mistress sees them and stops me in my tracks! I'll pay for it, but some of these ideas are too good to pass up. My favorite? A real one, too.... .....after your Mistress/Master has spent a long time tying you down, and turns thier back for a few minutes, get free and go take a shower. ((I am going to get it for that one...))

tearfulsurrender -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 6:08:43 PM)
Paint all of Master's toys pink... and if im feeling really really naughty wrap all handles in pink feather boa's. Ooooh pretty!

GeekyDomSC -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 6:11:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tearfulsurrender Paint all of Master's toys pink... and if im feeling really really naughty wrap all handles in pink feather boa's. Ooooh pretty! That was you?!?!?!?!? /me grabs the flogger... C'mere...

laurell3 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 6:13:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann quote: ORIGINAL: Tigrita When you call your dominant anal-retentive in the forums you know he reads. [sm=whap.gif] Especially when it's the truth. Questions about paid vacation and holidays from the collar are also a good indicator... ROFL that's awesome!

Muttling -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 7:10:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: elderrook My favorite? A real one, too.... .....after your Mistress/Master has spent a long time tying you down, and turns thier back for a few minutes, get free and go take a shower. ((I am going to get it for that one...)) I was in quite a mood one time and mistress was tying me up. I wasn't fighting, but I wasn't exactly cooperating either. I had her giggling so hard she could barely tie the knots. When she started looking for her crop, I slipped my hand out of the bonds, handed it to her, and put my hand back in the bonds. She was laughing so hard, I swore she was going to pee her pants.

Muttling -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 7:13:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tearfulsurrender Paint all of Master's toys pink... and if im feeling really really naughty wrap all handles in pink feather boa's. Ooooh pretty! I've never had the balls to do this one since all my Mistresses have had really nice and really expensive floggers, but a friend of mine spray laquered one of her Master's floggers. When he went to pick it up, it was stiff as a board and was more like a paddle.

welshwmn3 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 9:54:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone HEY ASSHOLE THAT HURT!!....probably not a good idea to say...... That happened in a closed, members-only group I was a member of once... except the phrase used was "Dammit! THAT HURT!" and everybody there laughed. The Dominant said, "Sorry, that's not a safe word" and continued to work on her submissive.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (11/30/2007 10:39:17 PM)
A little sleight of hand can go a long way for a SAM. Take a few notes from Houdini and his ilk: . . .make your panties appear hanging out of his back pocket in public places . . .take his/her debit/credit card sometime during dinner and let your Dom/me fret over how to pay the bill. Next time it's naked time, make sure he/she finds the card between your ass cheeks. . . .Wear bobby pins discreetly in your hair. Learn to pick cuffs. See how long it takes your Dom/me to figure out how you're doing it. . . .Ventriloquism: it only works with certain kinds of gags, but is completely hilarious when it does. I only wish I knew how to do this. . . .If female, make sure you have lots of embarrassing things in your purse. Casually toss condoms, small paddles, zucchini, bullet vibrators, and so on onto the table while you look for "exact change" in the bottom of your purse. This one goes over best at the inlaws'. I'm sure I could come up with more. The panties trick is one of my favorites :)

wisteriaV -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 4:42:10 AM)
When your dom gives you an order, ask "Do you want fries with that"?

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