RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (Full Version)

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bandit25 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 4:44:49 AM)

This one is NEVER a good response.  [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif[/image]



DesFIP -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 10:13:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

Make sure you learn how your Master/Mistress likes his/her toy bag packed and after playing ALWAYS offer to repack it. He/She has worked very hard and should not have to do any menial chores.
 
Plus, it gives you the opportunity to hide the toys you don't like. [;)] [:D]
 
jen



I resemble that remark! But I don't hide toys, I just reorganize the unwanted ones into the inner pocket he never remembers is there. Not my fault he doesn't know how many pockets are in the bag he bought.



MrSpectacular -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 10:33:23 AM)

When you have been at it for 10 minutes from behind and she says - I am ready start whenever you like
When you are turned on and she says do you have a strap on - I want something bigger tonight
After a long steamy session she says I need to go to the gym now I really need some Aerobic exercise
When your flogger breaks she says - should have bought American
You hand her a new collar - what no diamonds
She continually whines about how drafty the cage is




CalifChick -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 10:34:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sammiebabygirl

Stick an Alka-Seltzer tablet in your mouth at the beginning of a scene. Work up some saliva to get it fizzy, then call out your safeword.



Okay, that one made me laugh out loud. 

Cali



DefiantFlower -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 3:37:01 PM)

Oh no...see now this is the kind of thing that gets us in trouble! But some of them are just too priceless...i gotta test em out!



SirJohnMandevill -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 3:44:25 PM)

When your Master fucks you anally, and you turn your head and say, "That's feels just like a dick, only smaller...." [sm=hewah.gif]

Les (Illegitimate son of Abbott & Costello)




CuriousLord -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 4:33:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

You lift all the toilet seats in your Mistress' house.
Pretty funny..

quote:

You put all the dungeon lights on The Clapper.
..but this one's priceless.



MaamJay -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 4:35:21 PM)

Oh angel, violet is right with you on the tickling ... Master is horribly ticklish and hates it because His body reacts so violently LOL! she has "mastered" that innocent look.

The rest are very funny ... i especially loved blowing out the candles and singing Happy Birthday, i might just have to try that one! Fortunately Master has a good sense of humour.

And ... 3 words I don't recommend a subby saying to their Dominant? "You wouldn't dare!"

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



SweetDommes -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 9:09:12 PM)

You know ... there is a very similar thread on literotica.com's BDSM board.  rob has a rule there that he gets double punishment for anything he does that has shown up on that thread.



angelslave77 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/1/2007 9:31:20 PM)

Maam Jay Sir has takn the you wouldnt dare to heart, has gotten me in trouble at least once



Mastaziel -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/2/2007 5:00:04 AM)

[sm=evil.gif] 
 

{Quote was cut from Insertion   post:}

quote:

........ but there is an entire other list of things that I've blindfolded for and only get to see if I can figure out what they are. Its a new game he's started and I'm not very good at it. . . yet.


If you've playing this game with your Dominant, the next time you're blindfolded and he's inside you could always say.."I'm not sure...is it a pickle..no no wait...it's a banana right??"



interestedfemale -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/2/2007 9:42:00 AM)

Thanks for the laughs this morning, and yes i will be using quite a few of these.......lol



possessedone -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/2/2007 1:18:53 PM)

"accidentally" unpluging the t.v. to plug in the vacumm during the big game and then saying, "oh i am sorry , were you watching that?"



DefiantFlower -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/3/2007 4:05:21 PM)

Hmm...gotta make a contribution

~ Cover everything in the playroom with aluminum foil
~ Spread plastic wrap across the entire doorway, smoothly so they don't see it
~ Hide his favorite toy/tool/weapon of choice in a box. And then wrap that box in 9 other boxes, gradually getting bigger and bigger. The harder to open each box, the better.
~ Plant fake bugs EVERYWHERE. Roaches on the toilet seat and under the covers, flies in the ice cubes and stuffed in the toothpaste, etc.
~ Tie strings to all the toys he likes to use OR all the little things he uses on a daily basis and hang em from the ceiling...just high enough that he can't reach easily.
~ Hang a sign on the front door saying "More bars in more places" and then arrange all sorts of things in the house to match the five ascending bars from the commercials. Not really a prank, but still funny.
~ Set all the alarms in the clocks and cell phones, so every five minutes one goes off. Preferrably not in the morning when he has things to do. But during a day when he's home and just hanging out...

There are soooo many more, but i dare say Sir will read these and make me think of better ones to amuse him with. So i'll save some for later  [:D]



Muttling -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/3/2007 4:45:31 PM)

Find a good excuse to walk down the health care isle while your Mistress is one isle over.

Say very loudly,  "Miss April (or whatever her name is), I have a question."  

Wait for her to answer

"Did you want the Ultra douche or the Medicated douche?"




(You gotta get them to answer before asking the question or they'll just sit there quietly making you look like a fool.)



lusciouslips19 -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/3/2007 4:54:28 PM)

I had gone out to dinner with a Dominant before going back to the club. I wont tell you what we ate as that will be answered shortly. We were scening at a spanking bench and I was being throat f*cked. . As I was being gagged by cock and my meal came up and then I swollowed it back down, I said," Mmmmmmm Thai food."

It has to be too funny for them to get mad.[8D]



DMFParadox -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/3/2007 5:03:00 PM)

Remove the spring from the sink spray gun and aim it so that the next time they turn on the tap, they get hit in the face.
Saran wrap across the toilet, under the lid. 
Create a hair monster and insert it into the bathtub drain catch.  Insist it is not yours.  Use their hair if possible.
Next time you're chained to a saint anthony's cross, look up and say, 'What would Jesus do?' 

D



homework -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/3/2007 9:48:55 PM)

I find everyones ideas highly entertaining. I hope they work for y'all. All I would get if I did any of them is ignored or a lame chore. A beating for this masochist is a reward. No beatings for being a smart ass.

Though I am fairly sure a beating is coming for making fun of his hair (through time) while watching the homemade famliy films. He was such a dork growing up. -giggles-



MissOchistic -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/4/2007 6:27:29 AM)

"Look, Master, are you going to hurt me or are you going to get me that fucking drink?"



Muttling -> RE: You know you're a smart assed masochist when.... (12/4/2007 11:28:33 AM)

Here's a good one I've pulled on a number of co-workers computers...

Step 1 - Go to the victim's desk top with all applications closed.

Step 2 - Move the mouse all the way to the right side where it can't be seen and hit "Print Screen".

Step 3 - Open up MS Paint and hit Shift+Insert to past the image in.

Step 4 - Save the picture of their desktop as a jpg.

Step 5 - Create a folder and move all their desktop icons into that folder.  Then move the folder to some place not really noticable.  (If you want to be particularly evil, you can move it to a directory where it's not on the desktop at all.)

Step 6 - Right click on the desktop and set their wall paper as the jpg you created in Step 4.  Be sure to select "fit to screen" or stretch so it covers the entire desktop.



Now they have what looks just like their good old desktop but none of the icons work since they're just a picture of the icons instead of the icons themselves.



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