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RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 11/30/2007 6:35:25 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		CDN it's not always possible to "maintain communication." Not as a friend not as a wife not as amily much less not as a girlfriend. I know. I know well. As I wait eagerly for emails and letters from a friend and his wife calls me from his base in frustration and sometimes in tears does he know this? No. He doesn't. She will not burden him and I'm proud of her because of that. They pray together and they plan for things for when he gets home. That's how the time on the net they have is spent.

He's dealing with his own issues. Sex is great to talk about when she's writing him a dirty letter and ending it with "I love you." Not in "I'm not getting enough of what I want cuz you're away."

Imagine knowing that you can't help the people you love because you're out trying to save a few strangers' lives. Imagine the difficulty in knowing that. Imagine his own loneliness. Nope an email about her feelings as they are now is not appropriate.

I'll let you know the biggest issue my friend in Iraq has is not being there for his wife. For anything. He feels he's failed his job as her husband and he's done it at the sacrifice of saving lives. That's a shitty place to be. That's a realy shitty place to be.

Dari right on. And thank you for posting.

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 11/30/2007 6:38:47 PM >

(in reply to CdnExplorer)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 11/30/2007 6:43:29 PM   
CdnExplorer


Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		There's a huge difference between discussing your feelings and dumping on someone, and I was quite surely not suggesting the latter. When I say he might suggest "solutions" I mean him having ideas for ways to think about the distance between them now. He's probably experiencing a lot of the same things himself, and has found ways to deal with it.

I also said that "solutions" would likely not be needed. Simple communication would likely relieve the pressure that is building. Honestly the main reason I mentioned solutions was to emphasize the need to not put any pressure on him to deal with her issues. It wouldn't exactly be helpful to contact him and say "I'm having a hard time, can I play with someone else while you're gone?". He's got to know that she's having a hard time, and the silence about it may even be making him wonder if she's found some "other" way to deal with it behind his back. Hearing confirmation that this is what she's feeling and that she's willing to stick it out would probably help him. He wouldn't be the first guy at war to wonder what his partner was up to while he was stuck halfway around the world.

Edit: Just for the people who apparently can't read. Im not talking about kinky sex thoughts. Yes, some of us are very sexual in our submission. Some are not, and my whole suggestion is based on her situation being the latter.

I'm pretty surprised at the low level of communication US troops have actually. Most Canadian soldiers have it much easier that way.


< Message edited by CdnExplorer -- 11/30/2007 6:46:22 PM >

(in reply to Dari)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 11/30/2007 7:20:08 PM   
decstorm37


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/12/2007
Status: offline 		"I'm pretty surprised at the low level of communication US troops have actually. Most Canadian soldiers have it much easier that way."

The level of communication really depends on his MOS and where he is at and what is going on at the time. Also if he can get to a pc or does he have to pay for internet time?

The main problem is she is a girlfriend. In the US Military girlfriend for the most part don't rate. Yes that is harsh i don't mean it that way but having grown up in the military being around it all my life. I can understand why the military acts this way. Girlfriends come and go. While wives can come and go wives have rights that girlfriends don't have.

(in reply to CdnExplorer)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 11/30/2007 9:02:29 PM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

He's got to know that she's having a hard time, and the silence about it may even be making him wonder if she's found some "other" way to deal with it behind his back. Hearing confirmation that this is what she's feeling and that she's willing to stick it out would probably help him. He wouldn't be the first guy at war to wonder what his partner was up to while he was stuck halfway around the world.


Of course he knows she's having a hard time.  He knows it, and he knows it in spades.  They don't need to talk about it for him to know it.  The sum total of the acknowledgement of her having a hard time should be:  "I miss you so much, my love.  I can't wait until you get home and we can spend time together again!  It's hard, but you're worth it!" 

Other than that?  Trash the emotions.  Say what is positive and good.  Give them the tie back to the world - give them some hope that there is something other than sand and IEDs in this world, and remind them that when they get back, there is love and friendship and family and HOME waiting for them.  Don't tell them your grandpa is sick, don't tell them the goldfish died.  Don't tell them that money's tight, or that it's tough to go to sleep alone.

Hope.  Good.  Positive.  Wonderful.

Cdn - your point - that it is important they know they are loved and missed - is a good one.  However, I always work hard to be very clear about what exactly that means, without making any assumptions at all, specifically where it seems my words may imply that I'm waiting on a hardworking member of the military to make any decisions or suggestions for me, rather than handling things on my own while they take care of less savory things.

(in reply to CdnExplorer)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 11/30/2007 10:13:56 PM   
brienne30


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I've had a lot of pent up BDSM energy for an awfully long time and we were just starting to get into it when he left. 

Early on in my first relationship, my Master had to travel for a few months, with colleagues, so it made it difficult to find time to talk. It was nothing like him going to war, but there was absence and little communication. So I can at least relate to being able to find ways to deal with the absence. What I couldn't solve for, and it sounds like you are experiencing, was the constant heightened desire for the bdsm. It was like an itch I couldn't scratch or a case of the hiccups that just wouldn't go away. I tried the standard masturbating, self inflicting pain stuff, but it wasn't the same.I was just consumed with it and there was no way to turn it off.  So my sympathies on that, I know it is very difficult to deal with.

I think Dari had some great advise about finding ways to serve that don't add to his stress. If you dig around the 'net a bit there are some great resources on sub frenzy, info for tops dealing with new subs who are sub awe, etc. Its been a few years, I don't remember them off the top of my head. But basically, it happens and is one of those things that will work itself out of your system. So you might want to try looking up some of those types of threads or info on the web.

I also found it helpful in my situation to write very mundane letters to him about all the stuff happening with friends and family and jobs and the weather, while totally naked with clothes pins on my nipples and my butt plug inserted. I was able to tell him one night on a rare private call that I wanted to do my part to keep serving him in the only way I could find, so that was how I would write the letters. While writing them I felt closer to him, felt like I was giving him a mental visual image that the bdsm still meant something to me (without it coming across as "poor me, you aren't here to take care of it for me" which your guy definitely does not need while deployed). So when he got the letter about the big snow storm, he could chuckle about the snow man we made and get a little happy jolt of picturing me writing it for him.

It didn't send me flying into sub space, but it gave me routine and rules and a way to serve that worked for us. . and it let me hold it together until he came home. And he was very appreciative of the initiative I had taken.

In the mean time, you'll both be in my prayers.

(in reply to Dari)
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RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 8:33:15 AM   
Teles


Posts: 44
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I would say both.  Sorry for the slow response, I thought no one would respond to this thread; it was falling back with no replies when I last looked at it.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 8:38:34 AM   
Teles


Posts: 44
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, you're right, I'm not going to like what you've written here.  You are REALLY jumping the gun, so to speak.  If you had read any of my other posts, which I don't expect you to have read, you would see that I write that BDSM and sexuality and our abstinence while he's gone is the least of my concerns...  Do you understand what I go through at all?  Do you want me to talk about how much I've worried about him and all the things I try to do to make things stressfree and easy for him?  No, you don't.  You know what?  YOU rubbed me the wrong way.  Why?  Because you assumed and laid into me and you don't know anything about me or our relationship.  I get that you're just basing things on what you've read and it's totally justified to you, but let me just jump right into that and say you do NOT have your facts straight and you have no idea how devoted I've been to him, the ways both of our lives have been changed because of this, and the extent I go to try to be around for him when he needs me.

I asked a straightforward question about how I could put these feelings on hold so they WOULDN'T distract me and I WOULDN'T think about them so much.  Telling me to grow up is RIDICULOUS.  I've been with Teles for five years now and we've been through more together than most people who don't.  If I love him, wait for him?  What the hell do you think I'm asking, here?  What kind of person do you think I am?  F you.  Seriously, just F you for taking a question I wrote trusting that someone would write a HELPFUL reply and actually read into what I wrote and not just be a complete and total psycho and assume things about something they totally couldn't understand at all.

(in reply to MystressDream)
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RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 9:13:32 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Teles

Okay, you're right, I'm not going to like what you've written here.  You are REALLY jumping the gun, so to speak.  If you had read any of my other posts, which I don't expect you to have read, you would see that I write that BDSM and sexuality and our abstinence while he's gone is the least of my concerns...  Do you understand what I go through at all?  Do you want me to talk about how much I've worried about him and all the things I try to do to make things stressfree and easy for him?  No, you don't.  You know what?  YOU rubbed me the wrong way.  Why?  Because you assumed and laid into me and you don't know anything about me or our relationship.  I get that you're just basing things on what you've read and it's totally justified to you, but let me just jump right into that and say you do NOT have your facts straight and you have no idea how devoted I've been to him, the ways both of our lives have been changed because of this, and the extent I go to try to be around for him when he needs me.

I asked a straightforward question about how I could put these feelings on hold so they WOULDN'T distract me and I WOULDN'T think about them so much.  Telling me to grow up is RIDICULOUS.  I've been with Teles for five years now and we've been through more together than most people who don't.  If I love him, wait for him?  What the hell do you think I'm asking, here?  What kind of person do you think I am?  F you.  Seriously, just F you for taking a question I wrote trusting that someone would write a HELPFUL reply and actually read into what I wrote and not just be a complete and total psycho and assume things about something they totally couldn't understand at all.



Interesting.... You email me on the other side and blast me out of the water and tell me how insensitive I am and how I "ruined" your morning and made you "cry".  You told me in that email that you could not even read the thread because I "upset" you so much.  You also told me not to bother to respond to your attacking email because you would not bother to read any response.  So then, I check into the thread and find this.  Ok... here it goes...
 
Have I read all your other posts?  No.  If a thread catches my eye, I read it and respond.  I do not search for all other posts an OP has made and read them before answering.  I doubt many on here would take the time to do that either.  I responded based on what you said in your OP, and the fact that you left so much detail out, and didn't express what you did in your email to me, is not my problem.  But, don't presume to tell me what I would or would not care about.  I just happen to be very sensitive about what your boyfriend has to be going through.
 
Some on here sided with you and you have received some very good advice.  Use it.  Ignore me.  I really don't care. 
 
I feel VERY strongly about our service men and women and the horrors they are dealing with.  If my flippant or disgusted response to what sounded like a selfish girl "made you cry", I can't help that.  Your getting upset about something posted on a forum is nothing compared to what your boyfriend is going through.  If I decide to side with either of you, I will come down on his side.  If that is offensive, "Oh well".
 
I wish you luck in suppressing and controlling your BDSM desires until your boyfriend is there to fulfill them for you.  As I have said... You were given some very good advice by others.  I hope you read it and follow it.

edited to add:  The "F you" and "psycho" comments aren't worth discussion.  Just another indication of maturity. 

< Message edited by MystressDream -- 12/1/2007 9:34:08 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Teles)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 9:40:41 AM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		 
I love your idea's Dari. I have always found volunteering and doing for others helped me a lot during the three years Master and I were long distances. ( yes I know it isn’t exactly the same)

I’d like to add .

Maybe start a support group for others submissive that have SOs deployed; being able to share those feeling with some one who understands may help a lot.


_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



(in reply to Dari)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 10:02:44 AM   
porkchop


Posts: 32
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Teles

Okay, you're right, I'm not going to like what you've written here.  You are REALLY jumping the gun, so to speak.  If you had read any of my other posts, which I don't expect you to have read, you would see that I write that BDSM and sexuality and our abstinence while he's gone is the least of my concerns...  Do you understand what I go through at all?  Do you want me to talk about how much I've worried about him and all the things I try to do to make things stressfree and easy for him?  No, you don't.  You know what?  YOU rubbed me the wrong way.  Why?  Because you assumed and laid into me and you don't know anything about me or our relationship.  I get that you're just basing things on what you've read and it's totally justified to you, but let me just jump right into that and say you do NOT have your facts straight and you have no idea how devoted I've been to him, the ways both of our lives have been changed because of this, and the extent I go to try to be around for him when he needs me.

I asked a straightforward question about how I could put these feelings on hold so they WOULDN'T distract me and I WOULDN'T think about them so much.  Telling me to grow up is RIDICULOUS.  I've been with Teles for five years now and we've been through more together than most people who don't.  If I love him, wait for him?  What the hell do you think I'm asking, here?  What kind of person do you think I am?  F you.  Seriously, just F you for taking a question I wrote trusting that someone would write a HELPFUL reply and actually read into what I wrote and not just be a complete and total psycho and assume things about something they totally couldn't understand at all.



That's the thing about asking for advice on message boards- the audience relies solely on the OP's verbiage; it's up to the individual behind the text to guide the audience and to take applicable replies and leave the rest.

And... FANTASTIC advice has been offered. 

I see nothing posted in this thread warranting the reply quoted above.  Interesting to see the choice to resort to dramatics rather than an acknowledgement of the salient points raised thus far.

(in reply to Teles)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 10:29:00 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porkchop

I see nothing posted in this thread warranting the reply quoted above.  Interesting to see the choice to resort to dramatics rather than an acknowledgement of the salient points raised thus far.


Meh - all down to personal opinion hey.  She was told to 'grow up' - I would say that would warrent feeling a slightly bit defensive as a newcomer to the boards.
 
I find outing someones private email on a personal matterr so as not to start a flame war on the forum, pretty low and bad taste also.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to porkchop)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 11:03:27 AM   
porkchop


Posts: 32
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: porkchop

I see nothing posted in this thread warranting the reply quoted above.  Interesting to see the choice to resort to dramatics rather than an acknowledgement of the salient points raised thus far.


Meh - all down to personal opinion hey.  She was told to 'grow up' - I would say that would warrent feeling a slightly bit defensive as a newcomer to the boards.
 
I find outing someones private email on a personal matterr so as not to start a flame war on the forum, pretty low and bad taste also.
 
the.dark.

True enough.  I find both posts ("F you" as well as the email content disclosure) to be in poor taste. 

Honestly, I experienced a similar kneejerk to the original post.   I then read on to see posts provided by those who chose to venture beyond that jerky knee thing.  I admire that quality in people!

I certainly don't examine someone's complete posting history before forming an opinion on a stand alone post, and expect the words I choose for the screen are means for others to form conclusions about me.

And... I'm guilty of off-topic_ness.  Imma shutup now.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 11:59:28 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		More off topic...
Your photo pretty much rocks
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to porkchop)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 12:21:16 PM   
Aceton


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		Wow. There's alot of sympathy for the miltary here, hardly surprising given the times we live in, I guess.

Choosing to be with someone in the military means realising that they choose not to choose you a great deal of the time. They enter the service knowing that their lives may be sacrificed. If your life could be sacrificed at any time, what do you think your personal life amounts to? What importance does that have? Virtually none. It's not that they can't love you, it's that their first loyalty will always lie elsewhere. Always.

That means that if things like having a boyfriend around, or having a master around, or having a father for your children around (if you go that far) is a high priority for you, then don't date military people. Military people are trained to sacrifice everything in the blink of an eye, and when you become involved with them, you have to realise that not just their lives, but your relationship and everything it entails could be gone just as quickly.

I personally don't think you're whining and being selfish about not having BDSM, or other physical comfort in your life. You didn't stop being a human with needs when he deployed. Keep in mind though, when he comes back, he may not be the same person that left. The things they do and the things they see can forever change a man.

Your real question is, how commited to him are you? How willing are you to put aside everything you need, want, and dream of, to support him in this dangerous role he plays? Because that's what you will have to do. He cannot master you from a war zone, so you can either submit to him in spirit, and behave in the way you know he would want you to, being well aware you may never see him again, or you can go and find someone to get kinky with. Or hell, both. Open relationships and polyamory are not unheard of in the military either, you know....

< Message edited by Aceton -- 12/1/2007 12:23:03 PM >

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 2:13:44 PM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: porkchop

I see nothing posted in this thread warranting the reply quoted above.  Interesting to see the choice to resort to dramatics rather than an acknowledgement of the salient points raised thus far.


Meh - all down to personal opinion hey.  She was told to 'grow up' - I would say that would warrent feeling a slightly bit defensive as a newcomer to the boards.
 
I find outing someones private email on a personal matterr so as not to start a flame war on the forum, pretty low and bad taste also.
 
the.dark.

 
Let's see.... was the private email sent "so as not to start a flame war on the forum"?  I find that a bit hard to believe considering she then blasted me here ON the forum.... along with calling me a "phycho" and repeatedly throwing out the "f you"s.  If she hadn't made that post here, I wouldn't have responded at all.  But, then, life goes on....  I won't be losing any sleep over her opinion of me any more than she will over my opinion of her.
 
 

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
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(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 3:21:30 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aceton

Choosing to be with someone in the military means realising that they choose not to choose you a great deal of the time. They enter the service knowing that their lives may be sacrificed. If your life could be sacrificed at any time, what do you think your personal life amounts to? What importance does that have? Virtually none. It's not that they can't love you, it's that their first loyalty will always lie elsewhere. Always. That means that if things like having a boyfriend around, or having a master around, or having a father for your children around (if you go that far) is a high priority for you, then don't date military people.


Well said. I'd like to further add that being in the military is a JOB. What happened to the idea that family should always come before work? Those who are drafted don't have a choice, but I can't understand how anyone could voluntarily choose a dangerous career over their own family. To the OP, after five years your boyfriend should consider you family. If he has a close relationship with his blood relatives, I'm sure they are also going through hell worrying about him. For your sake and theirs, I hope he gets out of the armed forces as soon as he can legally do so. I can't believe how some of the people on here jumped all over you for daring to have needs. You're not the one who chose to put career before family.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 12/1/2007 3:28:03 PM >

_____________________________


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(in reply to Aceton)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 3:30:41 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porkchop

quote:

ORIGINAL: Teles

Okay, you're right, I'm not going to like what you've written here.  You are REALLY jumping the gun, so to speak.  If you had read any of my other posts, which I don't expect you to have read, you would see that I write that BDSM and sexuality and our abstinence while he's gone is the least of my concerns...  Do you understand what I go through at all?  Do you want me to talk about how much I've worried about him and all the things I try to do to make things stressfree and easy for him?  No, you don't.  You know what?  YOU rubbed me the wrong way.  Why?  Because you assumed and laid into me and you don't know anything about me or our relationship.  I get that you're just basing things on what you've read and it's totally justified to you, but let me just jump right into that and say you do NOT have your facts straight and you have no idea how devoted I've been to him, the ways both of our lives have been changed because of this, and the extent I go to try to be around for him when he needs me.

I asked a straightforward question about how I could put these feelings on hold so they WOULDN'T distract me and I WOULDN'T think about them so much.  Telling me to grow up is RIDICULOUS.  I've been with Teles for five years now and we've been through more together than most people who don't.  If I love him, wait for him?  What the hell do you think I'm asking, here?  What kind of person do you think I am?  F you.  Seriously, just F you for taking a question I wrote trusting that someone would write a HELPFUL reply and actually read into what I wrote and not just be a complete and total psycho and assume things about something they totally couldn't understand at all.



That's the thing about asking for advice on message boards- the audience relies solely on the OP's verbiage; it's up to the individual behind the text to guide the audience and to take applicable replies and leave the rest.

And... FANTASTIC advice has been offered. 

I see nothing posted in this thread warranting the reply quoted above.  Interesting to see the choice to resort to dramatics rather than an acknowledgement of the salient points raised thus far.


And the thing about having someone serving their country in a war that is your SO is it is very difficult and upsetting.  Cut her some slack people.  Put yourself in her shoes.  Waiting to find out if your bf is injured, wounded, dead or well is not a great place to be.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to porkchop)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 3:33:51 PM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I'd like to further add that being in the military is a JOB.


You are quite incorrect.  For some, it is a job, or a way to pay for school.  For a great many others, it is a duty, an honor, or a calling.  They give their lives (by work or by bullet) that others may have a better one.

Her boyfriend could be inclined either way, but to assume that everyone thinks it's a job, because YOU would see it as a job were you in - is rather short-sighted of you, don't you think?

This is, however, getting a bit far afield of the original post, which was about how to direct her BDSM energies when her boyfriend and Dom was away, not about whether her boyfriend puts her (or should put her) first or not.

Edited to add:  laurell, I've been there, and it quite honestly sucks.  But burdening him with her problems was not the answer - which is why I suggested other alternatives.


< Message edited by Dari -- 12/1/2007 3:36:19 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 3:46:11 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dari

quote:

I'd like to further add that being in the military is a JOB.


You are quite incorrect.  For some, it is a job, or a way to pay for school.  For a great many others, it is a duty, an honor, or a calling.  They give their lives (by work or by bullet) that others may have a better one.

Of course it's a job. They work and they get paid. There are plenty of less dangerous jobs one can take that will pay for college courses. There are also federal and state grants as well as student loans, none of which put a person's life in danger. Honor? I see no honor in putting work before family. Those who always put their loved ones first are the ones with honor.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 12/1/2007 3:50:50 PM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to Dari)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Long Term Separations - Putting BDSM on hold - 12/1/2007 3:50:02 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dari

quote:

I'd like to further add that being in the military is a JOB.


You are quite incorrect.  For some, it is a job, or a way to pay for school.  For a great many others, it is a duty, an honor, or a calling.  They give their lives (by work or by bullet) that others may have a better one.

Of course it's a job. They work and they get paid. There are plenty of less dangerous jobs one can take that will pay for college courses. There are also federal and state grants as well as student loans, none of which put a person's life in danger. Honor? I see no honor in putting work before family. Those who always put their their loved ones first are the ones with honor.




dbg I don't agree with your statements, but I'd also like to point out that a number of the men and women currently fighting for this country aren't there voluntarily and have been called up from posts just as the local national guard.  He might be there voluntarily, he might not, however, he's there already and the point of the thread is her asking for support.  Our personal and political opinions on soliders are not paticularly relevant and aren't at all helpful to the OP's question.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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