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RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 7:13:42 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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Sometimes, I used Sir as a term of address, but I never refer to him as my 'sir.' I usually use his name or call him daddy or baby. I was kind of suprised by how many people do not use their partners first names. Good topic. :)

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Post #: 21

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 7:24:16 AM

fairerthanshe

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Usually, I call him SJ or Sir. There is no prohibition in using his first name by itself. Sometimes I call him Dominus.

well wishes ~ fairer

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Post #: 22

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 7:51:48 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
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From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

if i'm calling the office, Daddy is not Daddy anymore but Dr. *insert last name here* since i have to bypass his army of secretaries. otherwise it's Daddy or Sir depending on the conversation.

now with my fiance, it's different. i call him by his first name and vice versa. we already have picked out special names to use after we're married.

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Post #: 23

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 8:06:15 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Usually by his first name, otherwise honey or sweetheart. He doesn't like dear.

But you refer to "only when around family". We're both single parents, we always have family around. Plus we just aren't formal people. He doesn't need a title to know his importance to me.

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Post #: 24

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 8:08:37 AM

IrishMist

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I never referred to him by his first name; not even in the company of family, friends or co-workers. It was always Master.

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Post #: 25

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 8:15:44 AM

forg0ttenclone

Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
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My Dominant also does not like the name of "Mistress." Most often i refer to Her as Goddess. I use ma'am from time to time. But 95% of the time, i use Goddess. I have only once used Her first name in Her presence. I generally find it difficult to refer to Her by Her first name. Even when conversing with friends, i have to pause and think, otherwise i will end up referring to Her as Goddess. All of my friends are vanilla, so they'd be like "goddess? wtf?"

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Post #: 26

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 8:43:27 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
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i don't really call my Dom any name while we're together i just communicate with him, and because it's just the two of us, he knows i'm talking to him. But on the other hand he will call me a few of his favorite names, even if it's just the two of us.

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Post #: 27

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 8:55:21 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

yep, and vice-versa...

it's more personal that way, at least for me; i like to know that the person i'm with, as well as myself, isn't being called some random term that everyone uses with all their other past/present significant others.

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Post #: 28

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 9:01:47 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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I use his given name in general conversation, with him and when referring to him with others. Most of the time, I call him Daddy. Some of our nilla friends think it's just a mushy name and refer to him as my "Big Daddy." lol... When we are intimate, it's almost always Daddy or "my Daddy" - sometimes I am in a very, very submissive headspace and use Master to make sure he knows that I'm deeper into the moment and very willing to comply to any wish he has at that time.

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Post #: 29

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 9:07:41 AM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

yep, and vice-versa...

it's more personal that way, at least for me; i like to know that the person i'm with, as well as myself, isn't being called some random term that everyone uses with all their other past/present significant others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

quote:

A. Does anybody else call their owner by her/his first name?

yep, and vice-versa...

it's more personal that way, at least for me; i like to know that the person i'm with, as well as myself, isn't being called some random term that everyone uses with all their other past/present significant others.

BINGO....I agree...

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 12/2/2007 9:08:17 AM >

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Post #: 30

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 9:40:51 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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I will call FirmhandKY by his name but it's most often some term of endearment that I use. I will admit to a bit of awkwardness at times as I don't wish to undermine his authority (or masculinity) by always calling him "sweetheart" or "darling", and his first name can sometimes feel... too casual for me.

There just aren't a lot of pleasing options for dominants. "Master" has been thoroughly ruled out as it would most likely just elicit laughter from both of us. "Sir" is the option that he would accept as he is comfortable being addressed that way as a former military officer. To him, it implies respect and deference... and to me, as well. But unfortunately, even as a former military enlisted myself, I have a difficult time using it for him. For me, "Sir" also implies emotional distance and I'm anything but emotionally distant from him and I don't want to be.

I have absolutely no problem using "Sir" or "Ma'am" with strangers or with superiors in my work environment, though admittedly it's typically only in a "can I help you, Sir?" fashion or "yes, Ma'am" in answer to a question. But in those cases, it isn't really respect or deference that I'm showing... it's just... politeness or exaggerated obsequiousness.

If FirmhandKY gives me a directive from a decisively dominant stance, it is very natural for me to want to reply with "yes, Sir", but I'm not comfortable addressing him that way at any other time. I suppose I'm just not practiced at it... I didn't grow up having to refer to any authority figures in that manner other than ones that I had no attachment to and then only to be polite. I suppose, in a way, it doesn't feel genuine to me... just an affectation. As it is, he does not make any requirement for "Sir" to be used so it doesn't get used much at all.

Interestingly enough, though it isn't very often, I don't like when he calls me by my first name. I suppose because just anyone can call me that, and he's definitely not just anyone.

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Post #: 31

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 9:47:39 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Depends on where we are and what head space I am in at the time.
If we are at a venue where the majority know him by DJ personna - I call him that.

Personal and at home - his first name. He wouldn't desire less.

the.dark.

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Post #: 32

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 10:53:20 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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On here I call him Master, simply to avoid confusion and keep his name off of the forums, unless he wishes it to be here.

In person, I call him Daddy, handsome or by his first name.

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Post #: 33

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 11:31:47 AM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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i refer to him by his a shortened version of his name when i speak to family or friends.....when addressing him i always call him Daddy...

If i'm speaking with lifestyle people it is a combination of both...his nickname or Daddy...depending on the venue, and the situation.

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Post #: 34

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 11:33:53 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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My M'Lady insists in formalitys and i always adress her by her title, if i call her by her first name it means that somethig is serious and needs imediate ly addressed.

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Post #: 35

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 1:58:34 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
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I've made it a point to tell women I've met on CM to just use my name until/if we establish a true D/s relationship. Then I will expect "Sir" or "Master" (which I'm not) in play or in any public BDSM interactions.

Les (Illegitimate son of Macaroni & Cheese)

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Post #: 36

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 2:17:07 PM

sexyred1

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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I have always called my partners by their first names or an endearment, hon, babe, etc.

During a scene we may have used Sir or Master, but never outside of one.

If a prospective Dom asked to me to address him by calling him Sir or Master during a first email, I would say, sure Sparky, no problem.

If he said, oh you must not be very submissive since you don't use Sir or Master with a Dominant male when first speaking, I would then address him as Asshole.

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Post #: 37

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 2:41:21 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

I have always used names--not titles--even for the great ones I know that certainly have Mastered skills such as the bullwhip and give demonstrations through out the south east...they just want me to call them by their name...no posturing or self importance when one is really GREAT and respected by their peers

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Post #: 38

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 3:14:11 PM

RichardEL

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline

I have no problem with honorifics if it really makes the top happy. But I value them only in terms of the top's feelings.

But my own sense of surrender isn't diminished by addressing a top by the name I would use outside of power exchange. The submision is in my heart.

I know a number of younger people who seem to have abanded title. But that could easily be sample bias.

Some people like to use honorifics to distinguish time in scene space from other times.

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Post #: 39

RE: No Use of Title? - 12/2/2007 3:15:48 PM

Darkhaven80

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

I never felt comfortable with many titles. They feel awkward most of the time. I like endearing terms but I guess it depends on the relationship.

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Post #: 40

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