RE: Ruin A Wish (Full Version)

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LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/28/2012 6:46:31 PM)

Granted! (and a POOF! from the token faggot/fairy) The car you inherited, you now own free-n-clear.  It needs high-performance tires.  You remember that Bill41 has a set.  You make a deal and they arrive promptly.  They are installed and you take the free-n-clear, newly-tired car around the block.  You pull into your driveway to get a beverage for a long, well-deserved (and long-desired, long-awaited) joy ride.  While in the house, legions of cats come and scratch the F*CK out of the tires.

You notice that ALL the cats have tags with ExquisiteStings name and address.  "Just wait until her next wish," you whisper to yourself.  And then you BELLOW, shaking your fist at the sky.  "You just wait, ExquisiteStings.  You just wait!!!!"

I wish my special-order, over-the-prescription-lens-and-frames sunglasses get here SOON! Like maybe before Christmas. LOL!



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 12:45:10 AM)

Granted, you receive the glasses early next week, but they mixed up your order with a 90 yr old lady who'd ordered cat frames and they won't refund you since the prescription part is correct.

It's 3:45 am can I just wish for a bit of sleep please? O and I'm out of books to read and the internet on my phone is down.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 1:51:48 PM)

Granted. You sleep soundly for 24 hours straight. Unfortunately, this causes you to miss work, an appointment, and a date and now your employer and several other people are royally ticked at you.

I wish I could eat everything I want and maintain a BMI of 22.



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 5:59:25 PM)

Granted. Whatever endocrine imbalance you now have takes away your senses of taste and smell.

I wish my windows were repainted already.



KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:06:52 PM)

Granted, you're windows are painted brilliantly, but they are done in a stripes of pink, green, and orange and your neighbors begin to refer to you as Dr. Seuss.

I wish for a massage! My back is killing me.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:10:51 PM)

Granted. But Igor the masseur is so rough, you actually felt a lot better BEFORE the massage.

I wish I could take a vacation somehwere cool.



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:15:00 PM)

That would be perfect with the "Sassy Lilac" I just painted the house!!

Granted. Your massage therapist's hygiene is so bad you pass out. When you come to, you realize he stole all your money and didn't even get the kinks out of your back!!


I wish my dog was better mannered.

ETA: Oops, too slow!!



KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:17:59 PM)

Granted. Your dog now has manners to match English royalty. He also takes about as long to get ready when going out as English royalty.

I wish my sunburn would finish peeling already. I look very much like a snake.



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:19:00 PM)

Granted. Your trip to Antarctica is booked.


I wish I was riding a Harley tonight.



KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:31:26 PM)

Poof! You are zooming down the highway on the back of a Harley. But this guy is the driver and you are in danger of falling off the back from lack of space!
[image]http://www.funnypica.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Overweight-Fat-Biker.jpg[/image]

I wish I had a potpie. :( F'real!!



imdmb -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:41:33 PM)

granted, but the pot part of the potpie is taken in a different direction and your high leads you to waking up next to that guy in the pic in your post

wish i owned gaming dice that werent seconds, most are underfilled and almost all are without the numbers colored in



hlen5 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 6:41:33 PM)

Too funny!!



LanceHughes -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 7:21:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: imdmb

granted, but the pot part of the potpie is taken in a different direction and your high leads you to waking up next to that guy in the pic in your post

wish i owned gaming dice that werent seconds, most are underfilled and almost all are without the numbers colored in

POOF! You now own a set of gaming dice.  Oh, they LOOK legit - as a matter of fact, you get some compliments.

Time for the "ruin."  They are weighted. As soon as the "establishment" realizes this, Igor is sent to help you practice throwing sevens using the alley wall. Each time you throw 7, he breaks one of your fingers.  When you've thrown 7 ten out of eleven times, he forces the dice, one by one down your throat, making sure you swallow.

I wish that my favorite ice cream store with beautiful all hand-made on the premises ice-cream didn't have a line around the block on this 92 degree night.  They make a coconut ice cream that with hot fudge sauce is about as close to perfection as I can imagine.




KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 7:25:21 PM)

Poof! The line around the ice cream store dissapears in a cloud of dust! Unfortunately the entire stock of this heavenly coconut ice cream dissapears with the crowd!

I wish I could actually get away from my computer so I can read my new book. But damn the interwebs are sooo addicitve.



imdmb -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 10:16:50 PM)

granted, the internet shuns you and now you have time to read your book (awww! i wouldent shun you tho)

and for informational purposes, gaming dice are the weird shaped dice for d&d, and not being seconds means coming from zocci WITHOUT the defects that would weight them, but you took it your own way and it was fine

i wish return of jafar never existed, but aladdin and the one with aladdins dad (what was that called?) still existed



KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (6/30/2012 11:51:44 PM)

King of Theives.

Poof! Return of Jafar is no more. It is replaced with an Aladdin / Ariel from the Little Mermaid love story in which Ariel beats Jasmine to death with her fish tail and Abu has a secret crush on Sebastian.

I wish my coffee pot wasn't empty already. :(



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Ruin A Wish (7/1/2012 9:33:52 AM)

Granted. A helpful gremlin puts coffee in, then water, but accidently puts the water in twice. So now you have an abundance of coffee--in the pot, all over the counters, and on the floor.

I wish whoever owns that damn barking dog a few doors down would just let it in.



KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: Ruin A Wish (7/1/2012 1:27:41 PM)

Granted. Your neighbor opens the door to let the dog come inside. Before the door shuts however, twenty-seven ferrets come storming out! They race to your door and begin clawing and scratching to try to come in. When they can't get in the door they attack the windows.

I wish I had an infinite supply of Diet Redbull. :)



outhere69 -> RE: Ruin A Wish (7/1/2012 4:12:01 PM)

Granted! But you infinite supply causes you to "fly" to 30,000 feet, where you are sucked into the inlet of a 777.

I wish the damn squirrels would leave the bird feeder alone!



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Ruin A Wish (7/1/2012 4:15:06 PM)

Granted, you have an endless supply of Diet Red Bull, but you get so addicted you rob a convenience store and get arrested for holding up a convenience store for stealing chocolate bars because you now crave sweets.

I wish my sweetie wasn't in England on a business trip so we could finally meet.



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