submissive men -pet peeves (Full Version)

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shootingstar67 -> submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 10:28:50 PM)

What is your greatest pet peeve dealing with submissive men?



sexyred1 -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 10:30:33 PM)

that they write a submissive woman and ask her to be their Mistress?

happens to me daily. sometimes when they are cute, I wish I could. [;)]



mskathy39 -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 10:33:10 PM)

I have two pet peeves actually. They are equal in status though I imagine the second should be the greatest.

The first is those sumissive men who believe the way to serve is to fulfill their own fantasies.

The second has to do with real-time meetings. Those with whom I spend time building a relationship(or so I am led to believe) and am expecting to show up and never hear from them again.




chgosubmale -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 10:55:53 PM)

I am always amazed at men's abilities to not show up.  There are two things I think drive this.

The first is that a lot of guys are just online wanking to begin with.  So they never really planned to show up.

The second is that men are fundamentally cowards.  Even non-submissive guys often can't muster the courage to break up with a girl, for example, so they just stop calling or otherwise do things in the hope that she will break up with him.

It is unfortunate but true.




AquaticSub -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 10:58:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chgosubmale

The second is that men are fundamentally cowards.  Even non-submissive guys often can't muster the courage to break up with a girl, for example, so they just stop calling or otherwise do things in the hope that she will break up with him.

It is unfortunate but true.




You sure that's a male trait? I've known a lot of women who do the same thing, or will wait until they have another relationship lined up because they are afraid of being alone.



shootingstar67 -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:01:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: chgosubmale

The second is that men are fundamentally cowards.  Even non-submissive guys often can't muster the courage to break up with a girl, for example, so they just stop calling or otherwise do things in the hope that she will break up with him.

It is unfortunate but true.




You sure that's a male trait? I've known a lot of women who do the same thing, or will wait until they have another relationship lined up because they are afraid of being alone.



It seems to me women do the same thing online - but in person usually don't do that cowardy disappearing act as often as men do,

But that is just based on what I observed



hisannabelle -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:04:06 PM)

greetings shootingstar,

how currently the only local ones i can find are only interested in bedroom submission! i want someone who has a desire to serve and to be found pleasing, not just the desire to be beaten and tied up. but as soon as i mention the fact that i'm looking for companionship as well, they start waffling. it's driving me nuts. now i have a lot more respect for what some of the mistresses here must go through.

respectfully,
annabelle.



AquaticSub -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:04:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shootingstar67

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: chgosubmale

The second is that men are fundamentally cowards.  Even non-submissive guys often can't muster the courage to break up with a girl, for example, so they just stop calling or otherwise do things in the hope that she will break up with him.

It is unfortunate but true.




You sure that's a male trait? I've known a lot of women who do the same thing, or will wait until they have another relationship lined up because they are afraid of being alone.



It seems to me women do the same thing online - but in person usually don't do that cowardy disappearing act as often as men do,

But that is just based on what I observed


I was referencing the point about all men being fundamentally cowards because some men are too afraid to end relationships. Hence why I snipped the other bit. I'd guess that less women do no shows than men, but I'd say the reason is simply because there seems to be a lot more men in this lifestyle than women.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:11:21 PM)

I have several pet peeves from submissive men.
1) They want to convince me they are exactly what I want when they have not even spoken to me yet.
2) They badmouth the pets I have since they are obviously better for me than my current boys
3) They are very fast to tell me I am not "real" if I am not interested in their kink.
4) French Maids uniforms... obviously the new sissy male uniform... 'nuff said
and by far the BIGGEST pet peeve I have
Writing me and asking for more pictures before you hav even bothered to try and have a conversation with me. I am NOT wank fodder!

DV



youngpupforBCms -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:24:30 PM)

I'm a submissive male myself, but even I'm disgusted with the rest of my so called submissive males who have no pride or dignity in themselves and the way they treat woman with the disrepect they do while claiming to want to serve and such. Aka the ones who never show up,the ones who just use this for wank fodder, and the ones who approach mistress with those often bizarre and just down right creepy one liners.  If you can't take the time to be creative and original and show some dignity and pride in being a submissive well thats just sad.  On a side note...saying all men are fundamentally cowards is just an unfair statement to make.  Both sexes are averse to cowardice, just as much as the other, their also subject to acts of bravery and honor to. If they wheren't then relationships wouldn't exsist between (from what Ive seen of their posts without directly knowing either) awesome,inteligent,and caring people like Diurnal Vampire and Shawn1066 for instance, and the hundreds of other relationships that have formed from those will the bravery to take the plunge and seek out what they want.  Just my two cents....



hisannabelle -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/2/2007 11:44:50 PM)

young pup,

when are you going to move your gorgeous self to florida so i can take you home with me? your posts are always insightful and from the heart :) just wanted you to know that i really enjoy you being here.

annabelle.



undergroundsea -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 12:32:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
or will wait until they have another relationship lined up because they are afraid of being alone.


For any engineers out there, this type of person is called a make before you break switch* ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

* Not to be confused with a BDSM switch



youngpupforBCms -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 12:44:30 AM)

I dunno when I'm going to move to florida but with the way this weather has been in the midwest it might be soon. [:D].  Though I imagine I would complain the opposite way when it came to hurricanes lol.  Maybe someplace like arizone....rofl.  Anyways thanks for the comments, hisannabellle, I do try to write fairly tolerant, but helpful posts, that can help express views that might not have been thought of otherwise.



shootingstar67 -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 12:44:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
or will wait until they have another relationship lined up because they are afraid of being alone.


For any engineers out there, this type of person is called a make before you break switch* ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

* Not to be confused with a BDSM switch


My feet next!



Lashra -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 4:55:48 AM)

Occasionally I ask mine to make a decision, such as pick which restaurant he wants to go to for this birthday and he can't decide.[&:] so I learned to no longer ask him and another thing...when we are eating out it takes him 15 mins to decide what he wants to eat. Now I put a time limit on him, decide in 5 mins or I will order for him.

Other than that, no problems.

~Lashra



rubberpet -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 5:03:38 AM)

Hey pup,

I feel ya.  There are so many "submissives" out here that ruin things for the ones who are ligitimately looking for a complete relationship with a dominant woman.  Dommes are already outnumbered 100-1 by subbies to start with.  No wonder it is so difficult to get their attention because they keep getting approached by those sending form letters to everyone they see, those who use cheesy lines, those who are just looking for wank fodder, and those who are are just wasting time.  The dommes get jaded and fed up with the bullshit...it's as simple as that. 

Mistress was the same way when I approached Her.  She said the thing that got Her to read my e-mail was my nick...She was curious to what a "rubberpet" was.  She has a serious lust for rubber, so that was the thing that got Her to look at my intro letter.  She admits to mass deletion of letters without even reading them, so I am so lucky She read mine[:)]  But unlike most subbies, I never gave up on Her when She would go days without writing.  I'd write little follow-up letters to Her, showing I was still there and interested, but was holding back some as to not seem like an obsessive creep.  I just put forth the effort to really get to know Her.  That was eventually what won Her heart.

It doesn't matter if it's male or female, there will always be those who are looking for a quick, kinky fuck and those who just don't understand the beauty of a D/s relationship.  Finding a dom/me that's worth the effort is just as difficult as finding a sub that's worth the effort.  Most people just don't get it, but the ones that do are the precious few.  They are the ones that make the pain and aggrivation worth it[:)]



ShaktiSama -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 6:11:49 AM)

Pet peeves...well, all the usual things.  But I have also noticed a trend among some submissives that I've come to call "Looking for Mistress Right".  Essentially, when you start talking with a man, you discover that he is looking for someone "worthy" of his submission.  There are all sorts of things this woman has to be, but overall it's understood that this female paragon is expected to be physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, politically and sexually perfect, and to meet his exacting standards in every way.  She's the embodiment of a fantasy, not a human being.

Initially it might be flattering to be mistaken for such a woman, but in general once a man hints at this mindset, I take it as a warning flag.  As time goes by I will probably take it as a reason to punch out of the conversation.  It could just be that these men are paragons of perfection themselves, and are seeking what they offer--but I'm repulsed by that kind of narcissism anyway.  And I must observe that having such a high standard is a very effective defense mechanism against having to really face and explore your submissive feelings in real life.

It's also a very effective defense mechanism against having real love in your life.  Love seldom arrives in the expected packaging, in my experience.  Unless the only love you're capable of feeling is for shiny wrapping paper.



youngsubgeoff -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 6:23:59 AM)

rubberpet, I agree, the fakes out there make it harder for us. I am starting to learn, however, that it is not impossible. Basically, you have to dig through the shit to get the gold.



SweetDommes -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 6:44:40 AM)

Real submissives - very few pet peeves ... although the vanishing act that some do does get tiring.

My main pet peeve are those who claim to be submissive but can't/won't follow simple instructions or don't seem to grasp the meaning of "service" - to me, those aren't submissives.



chiaThePet -> RE: submissive men -pet peeves (12/3/2007 6:44:51 AM)

Oh poor me, oh poor me, oh pour me another.

Lost among the fakes and wannabes,

I fear I shall never be loved for me.

chia* (the pet)



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