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agirl -> RE: Going dutch (12/6/2007 5:00:50 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kails
ok .... more info.
This was the second time Id seen this Dom. We'd previously been to a pub, Id been given money that didnt quite total the drinks bill so I added to it for my own drink.
Id happily fed him out of my cupboard and did not keep a 'tab' as suggested by some. It was just something I realised later, after I was expected to pay my own way.
I had told the Dom in general conversation (before he arrived) that I was broke.
No-one left a tip, we are in Australia ... we dont do tips generally. Staff are paid reasonable wages.
I watched the man go for bills then change his mind and go for almost the exact money. I couldnt believe it.
As far as being unsubbly (new word) it was my view .... that if I was required to be an independent self sufficient woman. I could do whatever I wanted.
In future ... I will always make sure I know who is paying when I am ordered to go out.
There are other financial situations concerned here that peeved me ... but not enough and certainly not enough to bring up here.
The man was Cheap .. he wanted his sub and his independent modern woman. When it suited him. It was nothing about obedience, control, testing... it was about keeping money in his pocket .
Thanx for all your replies. Im surprised at how heated this got.
Despite all this, you gave him *complete control* and that came with a price. It seems a little premature to have given this type of control by only the second time of seeing him, when it's clear you didn't know him, his habits and character very well.
I did not have a choice about going to a pub, i give full control over to the Dom. But damned if Im gonna go dutch when we go out. Especially considering control is expected and happily given at all times, no matter where we are.
This is a contradiction....and this is YOU insisting on being an *independant woman*. If you're *damned if you are going to go dutch* then you're asserting your independance and dictating what you will or won't accept. There's nothing wrong with that but it's a good idea to be singing from the same song sheet.
He probably is all you say he is but you chose him. He might well want his sub and eat it, but it looks like you wanted your dom and eat it too.
I'm missing where D/s comes into any of this as it looks like you both are pulling it out of the hat at random, when it suits.
agirl
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