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RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 10:43:05 AM   
charlotte12


Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<chuckles>

I hope that means that there are some out there who accept the mundane things, such as making My boy do laundry and fold the socks when the drawer is empty.

Hey, it's boring, but that's real life, toon



For some reason this slave gets all tingly when told to do the laundry and fold the socks.

I am one of the people who tries to write from a place of reality as well. I find it hard to speak from anything other than my own experience. I am always aware that it will not apply to everyone but as toservez said, this is a very diverse community and i think we will find that there are very few if any things that apply to everyone. I find myself learning the most about myself when reading about other people's personal experiences and comparing them to my own life than when someone is trying to lay out a way for me to live my own life. When someone says "serving my partner has taught me that i am a stronger person through my submission i am much more likely to listen than if they say "submission makes people stronger."

Besides, who needs fantasy with a pic like that?

charlotte








_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 10:45:58 AM   
MsSaskia


Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline 		I have a bit of a knee jerk reaction to anyone thinking that they know The Truth (or even Da Twuth).  What's true for some or to some is not necessarily true for everyone.  Something I see far too much of on CM in the short time I've been here is people using some variation of "you're just in denial, but you know I'm right and so does everyone else" as an argument.   There is more emphasis on scoring points than on actual debate or discussion, and that leads to a whole lot of people not hearing each other or learning anything beyond what they already hold as an unshakable tenet. 

I'm happy to read what's of interest to me, keep an eye on what sorts of things are of interest to others, and participate where I can.  I can only contribute what's true for me, same as anyone else.  Pointing fingers at everyone else and relegating anything they have to say to the realm of "just fantasy" if they think differently is nonconstructive.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 11:06:04 AM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I've been thinking about this on and off for a bit.  It's come up again because of some of My feeling regarding some posts that I have made.  I almost started to name the thread "Too Much Information" but I didn't want it to become a wanker thread.

Over the course of My time here on CM, I've made My best attempt to make My posts and replies to others to be a real reflection of what goes on in My real life.  It might not always be the most popular opinion, or the most interesting, but I do it to illustrate how I live day to day.  Sometimes, I fail at this, because I don't consider Myself the most articulate person on the planet, but I do My best.  I make My best attempt to give others a look through My eyes, show them a glimpse of My world, even if that world doesn't especially fit them.

I really have no intention of changing all of that.  Where My question lies is in this:  Do you think there is any value to this method for the general board reading population?  Are there times that too much truth isn't especially what this CM community wants?  Does it come down to people being more interested with the fantasy, rather than the reality? 





LadyPact

i just wanted to take a moment to say that i always find your posts particullary well thought out. i try to take the time to read every post on a thread that i am interested in but time does not allow that sometimes. But i make sure that i do read yours as well as a few other Dommes for the simple fact that you do represent real life and not just the fantasy of this lifestyle.


_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 11:58:18 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

For you, stocking, what will you ever do when I travel out your way next year?





LadyP....

If you ever did show up out here......

Fantasy: If you like "tease and denial" you could wear some tan stockings held up with white garterbelt and let me catch a glimpse of a stocking top....????

Reality: Get a hold of me a few weeks prior to your arrival and I can direct you to some of the sights,etc... then buy you and yours lunch at the local greasy spoon. We could shoot the shit for awhile...then you can be on your way.....

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 1:20:38 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Back again.....

Rumpus, I forgot you were on your trip just now.  While I'm disappointed at not seeing you tonight, I hope you are having a wonderful time there.  Come back safe.

What I meant by the comment about meeting in meatlife is that We each get the opportunity to see some of the things that translate from the screen.  Kind of an unfair advantage from the other populace.  Oh, and it really isn't necessary, but dry white is always fantastic.

I have to say thank you, charolette for the kind compliment.  I often enjoy reading about you and your poly family as well and think it's great that each weigh in with their opinions.  My best to all of you.

And, stocking, one of the little known secrets that does happen to be true, but isn't put out there quite as often is that I'm a great lover of greasy fries.  It's a date.   lol


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stockingluvr54)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 1:22:18 PM   
petpete


Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		The truth would be more appreciated by all.. i know for myself it does as i never lived the lifestyle but only for three weeks.. About being articulate.... how do they spell the word again?? i like lots of other people also have the same problem so i tackle it with stupidity.. Cheers..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!


(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 1:41:06 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Well, another reason for Lady Pact Envy!  :)  Man, I loves me some fries....

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to petpete)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 1:50:29 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Lady Pact,
I always enjoy your posts.  They are refreshingly honest and often succinct.  I, Myself, tend towards hypergraphia!
Do some prefer the fantasy?  Or perhaps I should say that they have not thought it though far enough to realize that much of what they imagine is fantasy as real life has to make up most of the day.  That real life doesn't have to affect the natural D/s or M/s dynamic, but there is more than being naked in chains.  The dishes do need to be done and the floors do need to be swept and mopped. 
I expect I am not as well liked by some of the boys who post and read here, as I have that tendency to steer them towards the more realistic and away from the romanticized fantasy.  The would prefer to hear about the "fun stuff", as opposed to the "everyday stuff".  For that seems to be the crux of the complaints mostly about "Why can't I find a Mistress?".  All I can do, as others do also, is post from My own real life persepctive.  It is unfortunate that this seems to be a disappointment to many. 

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 12/4/2007 2:13:55 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 1:54:47 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't understand posting that isn't reality based.  All my responses are based in my actual world and I appreciate reading posts by others that are clearly real.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 2:10:37 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I happen to adore deciding what we're really going to do for dinner.  I doubt I'd get as excited over a fantasy meal.

Reality is, and means, a few odd things.  In reality, charlotte could (if she had to) find a way to get her collar removed, probably within the span of time it takes from now (2pm) until the time she usually comes home (5:30pm.)  She could declare she's no longer my slave, that she's not interested in being with me, and would I please gather the few things I have in her apartment and car, and leave before she calls the police.  That's reality.

Yet, in reality, that would mean she no longer gets to enjoy the things we do together, laugh with me about silly trivial things, she'll never see me (and probably anyone else) flog Fitzwilliam (her teddy bear) as she giggles and shrieks, nor be able to enjoy a couple hours of music at our favorite bar.  It means she turns her back on things that we do for fun; thus, I find the nature of our relationship to be every bit as 'real' as the things any other real couple does after work, in their play time.

So where does the fantasy start?  Where does it end? 

Is she legally my slave?  No.  But she is, in practice, my slave.  That's real enough for me.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 2:55:41 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		I do think there is value to people posting the truth about their reality as it can show some it is possible to live this way, show others it is not all fantasy and give others ideas on how to make fantasies realities.  Some may not want realities but to be honest I think most who bother to make an effort to come to the boards do.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 3:45:59 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		*sighs*  Have to say, reality is a welcome change from some of the garbage that ends up on my mailbox on this site.  This week I got the form letter from the "domme" who claims that she wants to give me all her money and her son Beastboy.

I can hardly wait to see him on webcam. 

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/4/2007 8:05:39 PM   
shytg


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		At the risk of jumping into a thread where I may not know a lot of the posters, I will say this:

I don't care about the "fantasy" of it all. I want to know more about the ins and outs of the reality of a BDSM relationship. I want to learn... to grow... to become better. By not being able to read "the truth" (such as it is), I'm not certain that I'll reach a point where I feel the time has come to actively begin... seeking something other than knowledge.

I appreciate the truths of it all... warts and all.

Thank you for posting them.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 10:12:34 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I thank everyone for their views on this topic.  Believe Me, it's not based on what might be considered the 'popularity' thought that some come to the boards in hopes to find.

Actually, it had to do a lot with some of the things I've written lately in response to the thoughts of others.  In this last week or two, I've noticed  that I've put a lot of details out on these boards that probably weren't the most casual reads.  One of those, in fact, was a reply to Stephan's topic of begging a collar.  Another was the 'Strap on sex is sex' thread, where I spoke of the (graphic) details on My thoughts on that.  Not especially coming from the right or wrong perspective.  Just what happened here, in My own slice of life.

Not to detract from the from the reality thoughts, but one of the best lines I've ever heard in a movie was fron "Boys On The Side".  The character is driving with her mother in the car and she tells her, "It's a life.  Not a Hayride".  That's kind of how I feel about it.  I could sit around all day, blowing smoke up peoples bums (the softer expression), but what means to an end does that really provide?

So, I'll continue to give those little glimpses into life, even when they aren't especially pretty or at times might be too graphic, and if some readers don't care for them....... They can skip to the next post.

Edited for a "m", rather than a "n".  I need someone as a proof reader.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 12/5/2007 10:14:06 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to shytg)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 11:05:07 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		LadyPact,

Ah, yes, I follow what you mean now!  Thanks for the clarification! 

And for the well-wishes! 

Dry white, no problem a'tall; I always grab some wine while up here ;)

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 11:29:22 AM   
LadyChef


Posts: 105
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		LadyPact,
 
As you see, I'm new here. I spend more time reading the posts of threads relevant to My situations and circumstances, and only post to those I have experience in/with. I appreciate honesty and people who live real, balanced lives. Some of U/us do have to keep one foot on the ground.

< Message edited by LadyChef -- 12/5/2007 11:30:03 AM >

_____________________________

You reap what you sow

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 11:35:04 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Rumpus, I do have to say you missed a great gathering last night.  Please come home safe.  I hope to see you more in the New Year.

Chef, I'm glad there are some out there who appreciate those of Us who still have a foot on the ground while soaring to the highest heights. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyChef)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 11:41:19 AM   
MsSaskia


Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline 		From your original post, especially not knowing you, it sounded like you were implying that you knew THE truth and were judging others for saying things you disagreed with and assuming they were BSing for the sake of fantasy.  What I'm getting from your most recent post on this thread is that you're more interested in talking honestly about your own experiences and wondering if that's how others use CM or whether many people prefer to use it as an outlet for fantasy.

I wonder about that second part, too, but for more than just CM; seems endemic to online interaction or expression.  I definitely appreciate people telling the truth about their own experience.  There's nothing (nothing much, anyway) I've been able to learn from people blowing smoke, other than how untrustworthy words are.   The frustration for me there is that when I tell my truth, it's suspect.  It really gets in the way of a good discussion when what I express can't (or won't) be taken at face value.  And amusingly (and frustratingly) enough, when it comes to marketing myself as a pro domme, telling the truth and not catering exclusively to a fantasy actually becomes a detriment.  So weird. 

Thanks for this thread.  I look forward to reading more of you.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 12:07:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Saskia, I never promise anyone anything, except for the view from My eyes.

What you first thought was not My intention at all from this thread.  Believe it or not, I'm not a great leader in the "One True Way" discussion.  (Shocking, isn't it?)  I know that My way works for Me, and another way works for someone else.  It's not a huge leap of faith in My eyes.  It's each of Us finding where We want to go and matching up who We want to go there with.

With that understood, I find no reason not to express what does work for Me, just like I take no exception for what works for others.  It doesn't always mean agreement across the lines.  In fact, some of the best discussions I've had here have come from folks who take this whole thing from a completely different standpoint as Me.  I'd much rather hear from those who have a different position than My personal beliefs, rather than just the flat yes Ma'am, no Ma'am crap that happens too often.

Either way, I appreciate your words in the attempt to understand what I am trying to say.  I do not think so much of Myself that I expect everyone to take in and immediately understand My thought process behind the written word.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MsSaskia)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Too Much Truth - 12/5/2007 1:02:31 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		LadyPact,

i like hearing all the "this is what actually happened" stories from the different people who post here.  they make me smile, they make me sympathise, they make me think.  they cause discussions between Daddy and me, and that improves our relationship.

i write my truths too...and sometimes my "i wish..." thoughts. some of my truths i dont want to write about...knowing that there are times when i have to tell Daddy "you're going to injure me if you do that" when the last visit it was perfectly fine.  although some of the truths are funny, like the silly things he does to make me smile when something has me down.

hearing how others work their relationships has often brought that little lightbulb shining in my brain, too, and lets me see things from a different angle and again, brought good discussion between Daddy and me.

kitten, smiling

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
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