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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 8:03:57 PM

youngsubgeoff

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very true man... I just get a tad worried when someone wants to castrate me on our first meeting

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 8:12:59 PM

LadyChef

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So far my worst experiences have been submissives/potential slaves who insist on contacting Me with their intersts first. It is a turnoff. Only one potential slave acknowlegded reading My profile, and showing interest in more than just BDSM or kinky sex. W/we chatted, he pushed. W/we talked, he prodded and pushed more. I concluded that he was trying to top from the bottom ( if he ever really was a bottom), and was attempting to "flip the script", and seduce Me in ways that I refuse to be had. Really, what I'm saying, is some "submissives" only call themselves such, but really are not submissive to anything but their own sex drives and egos.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 8:18:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Well I would have to say that my worst experience was my entire relationship with my slave hugh. Pure poison with big gobs of sugar! But I got a lot of good from it in the end, and we all need a major disaster of bad judgement in our lives, right? I think?

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 8:19:21 PM

Najakcharmer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

very true man... I just get a tad worried when someone wants to castrate me on our first meeting

Hmmf. Subs these days getting all presumptuous. Next thing you know, they will all be refusing to brand my initials into their forehead before we meet.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 8:21:23 PM

MzMia

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Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyChef

So far my worst experiences have been submissives/potential slaves who insist on contacting Me with their intersts first. It is a turnoff. Only one potential slave acknowlegded reading My profile, and showing interest in more than just BDSM or kinky sex. W/we chatted, he pushed. W/we talked, he prodded and pushed more. I concluded that he was trying to top from the bottom ( if he ever really was a bottom), and was attempting to "flip the script", and seduce Me in ways that I refuse to be had. Really, what I'm saying, is some "submissives" only call themselves such, but really are not submissive to anything but their own sex drives and egos.

This applies to most/many of the male submissives on here.
Welcome aboard, you hit the proverbial nail straight on the head.
It is a good thing, we have so many ladies willing to meet their submissive "needs".

Very well stated Lady Chef.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 12/4/2007 8:31:39 PM >

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 9:18:01 PM

youngpupforBCms

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Yep, Ill agree, all these fakers, and idiots, just make it hard for all of us that are really looking for something real, and not just sex.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 9:33:19 PM

youngsubgeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: youngsubgeoff

very true man... I just get a tad worried when someone wants to castrate me on our first meeting

Hmmf. Subs these days getting all presumptuous. Next thing you know, they will all be refusing to brand my initials into their forehead before we meet.

sorry, but after 20 years, Im a little attached to 'em. Even though they do little more than get me in trouble

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 11:14:17 PM

KindLadyGrey

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My worst experience also turned into one of my best ones. Stay tuned, because this is one of the first times I'm talking from a sub's POV on these forums. Also, forgive me if a M/f story is out of place in this section of the forums. The question was worded generally, and since I am a bisexual switch I have experiences all over the map.

Long ago when I was just a baby in the lifestyle, I met my first sadist. I had pretty much figured out that I was a masochist by that point, but I wasn't sure whether my extreme fantasies were really something I wanted to translate into reality. But, as sadists and masochists do, he and I got pulled together like magnets and started pushing each other's limits almost immediately.

It turned out that I could take on all of my fantasies and more, so I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed. One night as we were engaged in some sadistic beating and sex, I started laughing at him because I KNEW it would drive him over the edge he was already on. Well, it did. He slapped me and beat me, and then he wrapped his hands around my throat and started squeezing. I was completely fine with all of this, by the way, really grooving with the scene.

But after a short while he leapt up and ran out of the room. I figured he'd gone because I was pissing him off or because he was going to get some implement to use or maybe just to leave me abandoned and wanting. So I waited. And waited. And waited.

And when I heard the shower turn on I knew something was wrong. I got up immediately and went to see what was going on and I found him curled up on the floor of the shower sobbing. I'd pushed him too far, and he'd scared the crap out of himself. He said that he'd really wanted to strangle me and that he had to stop or he was afraid he would have killed me. Really freaked out does not even BEGIN to describe his state of mind.

Obviously, I felt terrible and horribly guilty. (In retrospect, it was probably the only lesson I've ever needed about why topping from the bottom is a bad idea) I spent a lot of time doing Dom aftercare for the next day or so, and apologizing.

We were both new at it, and still working the whole thing out. The good news is that we continued to do so together, and he became the first (and last) person I ever called "Master." We did a lot more talking about our boundaries and our needs and eventually settled into a pretty healthy D/s relationship. Our relationship ended eventually, for reasons unrelated to bdsm, but I still have some very good memories and I like to think he does too.

Still, that first time. . .it was really scary. There is nothing in my mind that could be worse than finding him curled up on the floor of the shower crying because I'd pushed him too far. Even if someone someday hurt or assaulted me, I still think that memory would hurt more.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/4/2007 11:40:56 PM

BitchGoddessD

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My worst experience started great. A young pup I had met at munch was quite persistent in his attentions. When the time was right, I took him home. Everything was great until the next day. He couldn't accept the reality of a long-time fantasy and became verbally abusive. I took it personally until a friend explained that it was nothing I did. I gave the pup space. Pretty soon he was back, apoligising profusely, and begging for more. I was wary of being hurt again so made him beg about 6 months before I decided to take him home again. All went well after that until he moved away.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 3:02:42 AM

iwearpanties

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im not sure if i had an worst yet .. im looking too find a Mistress whos not scared off by my height ...

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 4:32:48 AM

BoskoDotDom

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My worst experience , I'll tell one from both sides, First was my inexperience in Domming and when I found out that I could get lost in D space if I didnt watch myself more cautiously. My sub and I were still young in the scene and we had read up alot but knew little. ofcourse, we had safeword "purple" in play and had been playing quite well for the entire evening when she started getting cheeky and so I put her over my knee and spanked her, I was going at a nice pace but slowly found the sweet spot on this girl, the way she jumped and yelped made my eyes focus and my hand swinging quickly and sharply one two three four five in quick succession bring a yelp or "purple!" from the other end, In my D haze I looked at her backside said quiet matter of factly "no only just reddening" whack spank six. luckily she had a mind to say "safeword!" to my shock and utter self loathing I stopped instantly and felt horrendous for ages(in years) about it, we did go our seperate ways but for different reasons and are still good friends and when she wants to tease me she will whisper "purple" to me. Wow that was hard to spit out... I will admit that first mistake made me really look at myself and how I looked at this lifestyle and what it is to me and how deep learning control can be.

Here I have to comment on youngpupforBCms's post just above. I agree fakers suck and no its not about sex but Honestly its is doing something that floats your boat with someone that lights a spark. I am sure some people out there have absolutly no wish to play my way and thats fine but it doesnt make me a faker either just means we want differing things. this goes towards my second tale of woe in this post.

This is more a general worst than a specific as I have spotted this and been hit with it both online and in a meetings. A girl asks me to give a scenario, so I depending on my current mood I usually describe that either makes me feel nice and relaxed or a scene that awakens my more sadistic side. If asked for a scene I also tend write or explain the entirity. Then I get a shocked reply or look saying omg you cant do or say that you fake! your no D and some such tirade. That was my learning point to stay clear of 90% of the submissives who say "I have no Boundaries" and to take my time with a potential sub to see if she has an over developed fantasy of what being submissive or what it really means to her.

So I have made mistakes but I have also learned from them does that make me less a D or more than the next guy? my answer would be the next guy is standing just over there. While your asking him I will be spanking my deliciously wonderful giving and exploring submissive whore.

To some its lifestyle to others its a part of life that they can only occasionally get a chance to explore.

< Message edited by BoskoDotDom -- 12/5/2007 4:37:31 AM >

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 4:42:28 AM

BoskoDotDom

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sorry

< Message edited by BoskoDotDom -- 12/5/2007 4:43:15 AM >

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 5:12:10 AM

TNstepsout

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My worst experience was as a sub. I met a Dom who seemed to be a good match at least to get the ball rolling and teach me some things. We chatted online and traded emails for a while and then met at a coffee shop. He is married to his sub/wife of 8 years and I met her too and that made me feel even more comfortable and safe. My first scene with them was incredibly intense, but I loved every minute of it. I never once felt frightened or unsafe. All was well.

On the second scene, things got a little crazy. He took me to a rural area alone and almost immediately switched to a crazed psycho. I was terrified. After about the first half hour I broke down and was sobbing hysterically, I really feared for my life. This was not a fun kind of fear. He did some things that were completely unsafe and he should have known better. I was too scared to protest. After I broke down he seemed to realize he'd gone too far and he backed off and consoled me, but the damage was done.

Strangely enough I went back for a third time. This time at their home with both of them. We'd talked since the last time and I thought I'd communicated well enough and he'd learned what "too far" was for me, and since his wife would be there, I thought it would be better. I was wrong. I won't go into detail but I spent the next 12 hours scared to death. I never went back despite his requests to meet to talk about it all. I tried once, at his insistance, but had such a terrible panic attack I turned around and went home.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 5:44:46 AM

ItalianSMistress

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My first slave that I trained, I had him for just over four years, and then he decided he wanted to be more than My slave. When I told him this was not what I wanted, he went a tad nuts. He started making unannounced visits to My house and even called My girlfriend at the time and told her that he was going to take her place, HER place, wtf? Then he called My place one night and I was in the shower, when My boy asked who he was, he told him that he was the new boyfriend. OMG it did not stop for a long time. He rather "stalked" Me for a long time, and I never saw it coming at all. In four years, I never saw anything even remotely warning to this.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 10:48:04 AM

LadyPact

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Hon, if I told you about My worst experience, this would be a very depressing thread.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 11:47:49 AM

mercurialis

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I'm kinda surprised.....I have no worst experience. I've been meeting various people off the net for meetups for years, hanging out on web sites and chat rooms.....the only bad stuff that has happened has occurred to me online. Hopefully the only crazy people I meet are the ones I've ran into on chat rooms.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 12:37:13 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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~fast reply~

When I found out that an ex-slave (already released a few weeks prior) had been engaging others as My slave and improperly claiming to represent Me. He was collecting money orders made out to him based upon the fact that I would meet with them after "tribute" was received. He was doing this right under My very nose...
I was advised and then I saw the proof. It made Me fairly sick to My stomach.
Other than that, the typical disappointments, but nothing I would call the worst. Perhaps I have been lucky.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 1:14:11 PM

burningdesires47

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I think the worst would be the Dom who lead me on... twice..... and after breaking a couple well-established limits and giving me the worst proverbial blue "balls"/ovaries of my life, after the mind games and the lies, starts going into this whole spiel involving "better communication from now on," and "in the future," and "next time [we play],".... it took everything I had in me to keep from screaming that there would never be a next time, and he could shove his "communication" up his ass. I was afraid I might have been over-reacting a bit... but no, no, I'm really not. Then he calls "Just to say hi," yeah right, just to see if he can still get in my pants... sorry buddy, passed that chance up. And WHY would you call a girl you know wants to castrate you to ask her to do a websearch?? Course I was willing to do it, so he could hook up with a different kink/munch group in another state and have one more reason to leave here. I kinda wanna ask when he's moving out of state so I can throw a big party.

Of course, that was after the one who had serious issues understanding limits and the word no... and that you don't try and fix a girl's PTSD/rape issues in the first week of meeting her, let along playing with her when she hasn't even decided if she WANTS a dom yet!

Though the one that I don't fault me or the guy for is the one who I think could have worked out for a while, but he decided he was moving out of state within months and didn't want to get attached or give me the chance to.... I understand, and I kind of appreciated it, but MAN that sucked.

Worse yet is that they're all locals, and I have had to or still will see them around at my local events..... can we spell AWKWARD much??

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 1:18:49 PM

MsIncontrol

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I've had a few bad experiences. I would like to say that even though I've had some bad experiences overall this lifestyle and the people I've met have been by far great experiences. Each experience, whether bad or good makes us who we are...so while some of these are really bad I do not regret anything I've done in my life.

1) As a submissive (many many moons ago) I had my tail bone broken during a paddling and my partner was arrested for Domestic violence at the hospital, parents called (I was 20 but on their health insurance). Had to come out to my family and a court-room full of people to avoid my partners being found guilty. Since I refused to end the relationship my parents cut me off financially, repossed my car during my last two years of college. They since came around and accepted me...although they are both currently now deceased.

2) Former partner (same as above) killed in an automobile accident a few months prior to our marriage. It was much more complex than just the lifestyle aspect, but from as a lifestyle experience this is my story. As a submissive I relied fully on someone and they pass unexectdly, your whole world collapses, you are so vunerable and as I was young and unprepared for life in general my whole future seemed pointless. It was also a turning point for me and it is then when I became Dominant, I never wanted to be that vunerable again.

3) I was playing with someone and had them tied in a very intricate bondage and they started to have an asthma attack. He was unable to tell me what to do and had no rescue inhaler with him. I had no idea he even had asthma (he forgot to tell me and I forgot to ask) and he hadn't had an attack in years. I ended up calling 9-1-1 as he was turning blue. I then began to cut him out...but was unable to clean up and get him dressed before they came...we had a little embarassment...but he lived.

I've had many more crappy experiences with dates gone bad...being spotted in public and outted while with vanilla friends/family/business associates..but nothing too terrible. Like the waiter who was a submissive who doted on me all night and barely threw their food at the 6 men I was dining with....it was a little strange...but they figured it was because I was the only woman.

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RE: Worst Experience? - 12/5/2007 1:33:12 PM

MissMorrigan

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I hear of some people's horror stories and cringe, and think I must have been dropped in a huge pile of 'fertiliser' as a child as the only poor experiences I have had were actually very comical. I've had just one exception, though, and it was created by my own foolish poor judgement so have no one else to blame but myself for not doing enough homework on the person i was meeting.

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