Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 7:17:29 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

To me, i am a reflection of the sum total of my life, which includes my upbringing, my heritage, my education, my religion, my travels, my experiences, both the pleasant and unpleasant ones, and every person who has ever touched my heart or left an impression on me, which includes, but isn't limited to, my Master.  And, my Master isn't a reflection of me.  He's a reflection of His life, His upbringing, etc.  He didn't make me and He didn't remake me.  He took me just as i am.  How i dress, how i speak, how i behave are a reflection of my values and tastes and education, etc.  Just as the way He dresses, speaks, and behaves is a reflection of His values and tastes, etc.  
  
slave joy
Owned property of Master David


i can see where you're coming from on this, joy...but i also see the reverse of it.  i look at the situation as though you're raising, for example, a dog. 

if i take the time and effort to train a dog so that he's well socialized, that he can obey commands, so that he knows how to take the cue from me in how to act in certain situations, then that dog is a nice reflection on me.  it shows that i also have a more ordered mind, that i know how to control myself so that i could train the dog effectively, and that i know how to act in public and around others.

if, in contrast, my dog barks all hours, wont obey commands, my house reeks of where potty training was NOT established effectively, and generally makes a nuisance of himeself, it also reflects on me.

Daddy's training of me is called discipline.  like the same root word for "disciple"....he teaches me.  in his behavior, he shows me how he would like for *me* to behave.  he's courtly and a gentleman in public, therefore i follow his lead and am ladylike.  he shows me honor and is proud to have me on his arm, and my appreciation for that apparently shines in my face when we're out.  so to me....if i was out showing my ass in my behavior, i'm not showing that Daddy has instructed me in how to behave, and therefore i'm a bad reflection on him.

needless to say, i'm not saying you're wrong, joy, absolutely each of us is a merging of each thing we've learned and experienced. 

kitten

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 7:18:01 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

i have to say that i really don't get all this talk about one person being a reflection of the person they are with. 
 
To me, i am a reflection of the sum total of my life, which includes my upbringing, my heritage, my education, my religion, my travels, my experiences, both the pleasant and unpleasant ones, and every person who has ever touched my heart or left an impression on me, which includes, but isn't limited to, my Master.  And, my Master isn't a reflection of me.  He's a reflection of His life, His upbringing, etc.  He didn't make me and He didn't remake me.  He took me just as i am.  How i dress, how i speak, how i behave are a reflection of my values and tastes and education, etc.  Just as the way He dresses, speaks, and behaves is a reflection of His values and tastes, etc. 
 
When i look in the mirror at my own reflection and when others look at me, including my Master, it's not some creation of my Master that is seen.  It's the culmination of a lot of influences and a lot of living that is seen.  my Master didn't choose to own me so that He could make me into a reflection of Himself.  He chose to own me because He liked the reflection of the woman that i am.
 
i guess i'm in the minority on this issue.  But, this is how i see it.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David


I don't think the others are talking about a slave being a literal reflection of their Dominant.  I think they are asking if slaves influence other's opinions of their Dominants.  The fact your Master owns you is a reflection of good taste, right?  When someone is impressed by your service or your attitude it reflects on your Master's good choice in owning you.


_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 7:20:08 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Simply, we are a reflection of each other.
I like this, but I'll also add that I'm very much the activist and if I think someone is acting in an unfair manner I tend to call people on it.

ie: I was once standing next to Master and his best friend at a play party. A "dom" walked up and introduced himself to me, and pretended that Master and his friend didn't exist. I told him that he was being rude. He then flung back that he didn't take directions from submissives. To which I responded "When a submissive in this community gives you advice on how to navigate the community, you'd be a fool to ignore it." At that point, he finally acknowledged that Master was standing there by saying, "Aren't you going to do something about her?"

Master gave a wonderful answer. "Just because you're displeased with her, don't assume that I'm displeased with her."

So, yes, among our friends, we're reflection of each other. To strangers that we have not yet determined whether they're HNGs or someone that actually practices what they preach...we don't care what they think.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 7:27:51 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Exactly, slavegirljoy.  I was chosen for who I am.  I simply want to show the best me so that others don't think he has bad taste.  

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:15:09 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
So Masters/Mistress do you feel your slave is a reflection of you?
Is it like how parents will sometimes "own" their UM when it's doing well but not when it is being bad?


I feel this way in most cases. However, there are some classes of behavior, such as those that occur due to mental illness, that I am obviously not likely to influence nor control. But simple behavior like manners and such...yes, that definately reflects on me.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:31:31 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Kind of funny timing on this.  It was something I said to My submissive just in the past couple of days.  My clip was about to start his day, and I told him to do well, because he was a reflection of Me, whether other people knew it or not.  I don't think it applies to only slaves.  Perhaps that's just My personal take on it  I'm very fortunate in this regard, as it is a rare occassion that I ever have to remind him to be the things that I believe are a good reflection of Me.

The other half of it is true as well.  The type of Dominant that he wishes to submit to is also a reflection on him.  One that I know he sees has a loving quality.  That wants him to grow and learn in the lifestyle.  One that, hopefully, will guide him properly and let him reach heights that he would want to obtain.  One that will allow him to go as far as he can possibly go.  The One that smiles back when he kneels and looks up at Me.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:31:50 PM   
salilus


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		He always tells me that I make him look good and that makes me happy. However, I'm fairly sure I'm the 'same way' all the time. I don't think I have 'perform' better for an audience, or anything, nor has that ever been a worry. If I'm pleasing him, then I'm okay :)

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:33:20 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

From what I understand of your dynamic, it's a safe statement to say that he might simply be trying to show you how you can be anyone and any way you would like in your life; that he doesn't have to define who you are as a person, but rather you define yourself as a person.  For him, he gets to nurture that person, whomever it might be and become.  Think of it as a man content to water an orchid; he doesn't control the color or type of beauty it has, but rather wishes to see it grow, naturally.

Regards,

Stephan



Hmmmm me thinks you may be onto something :)

Typically i am not one that worries a ton about what others think...in one way anyway...i will very easily walk to the beat of my own drum and the only thing that really makes me bristle is when someone tells me that i can't do something because "That's just not how its done" with that tone of condescention (sp)

i worry more about how other people, not so much those out in the general population,(because they really wouldn't consider judging my Daddy by anything i might do) but those in the lifestyle who might be more high protocol than we are. (as you know from talking with me, i can be alittle irreverant, gooyfish *beep*beep*beep LOL) i worry about them judging me and in turn my Daddy.

He does guide me, teach me etc....who i am becoming with his guidance is much different than who i was before him....he should get the credit for that for sure.....of course, he gives the lessons and i do the work.

It seems from alot of the responses i've read so far, that the majority does judge a M by his/her slave's behavior...






_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:52:36 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Master gave a wonderful answer. "Just because you're displeased with her, don't assume that I'm displeased with her."


Classic!

On a shallow level, hell yes you are judged by how your submissive looks and to a lesser extent acts.  I show up with BSB on my arm and the women are friendlier, the men even friendlier, and the assumption is I must be good.  Sad but true.

I show up at the same event without a woman and I am a nobody and assumed to be a HNG.

Now, how do my friends judge me by her?   Nobody counts on me being on time, that's for sure!  She is working on that and I know she will change because she wants to change. 

Frankly however, the things "most" people would judge us by I could care less about, who has power, who is and isn't "well trained", etc.  I want to be seen as upholding those traits and behaviors I value for her and I.  Being polite, which she is to a fault, drama free, which we are, thoughtful and caring to each other and others, etc. 

Oh and she has made me a stud in at least one person's eyes.  I was talking to someone about our relationship as we are both Doms and he asked how that worked.  She had just stepped out for a soda and was on her way back in. I said "she is a dom to other men but submits to me" and when she walked in, without saying a word she dropped to her knees and assumed a perfect kneeling position.  What he hadn't noticed and she did flawlessly (and in typing this I realize we had never discussed using that position in public nor the particular and rather private act it was created for, and she saw the subtle signal presented in a different and more subtle way and GOT IT...must reward her more! anyway...) what he missed was I had ever so slightly held out my hand in the form of a particular sign for assuming a kneeling position.

He never again asked "how do you make that work"...

So yes, a good woman can make even an idiot look good!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 8:52:54 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

It seems from alot of the responses i've read so far, that the majority does judge a M by his/her slave's behavior...



Sure.  But while you're worried that you're screwing up his game, you're not exuding the confidence that says "I'm worth owning." 

Perhaps he's trying to remind you to be confident in who you are, so that you can be an asset to him, without being terrified of what others think.  Frankly, if they aren't willing to recognize the valuable slave he has in you, they're probably not going to be people he wants to spend time around.

I know if someone thought poorly of either Tigrita or charlotte, and told me so, they'd probably not be thought highly of by me.  We're a package deal. 

There's an old saying: "Love me, love my dog." (or in my case, cat.)

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 9:18:42 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I don't think the others are talking about a slave being a literal reflection of their Dominant. I think they are asking if slaves influence other's opinions of their Dominants. The fact your Master owns you is a reflection of good taste, right? When someone is impressed by your service or your attitude it reflects on your Master's good choice in owning you.

Yep....this is the heart of the matter....imho


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 9:21:37 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


Master gave a wonderful answer. "Just because you're displeased with her, don't assume that I'm displeased with her."




This is basically how my Daddy looks at it...he could care less about what others think....he also tells me to go on instinct....that i will naturally do the right thing anyway.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 9:45:56 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		Hi kitten,
Okay, working with your dog training analogy, even though i wasn't trained as a slave and i don't compare myself to a dog, it just so happens that 2 weeks ago, when my Master was walking His dog, He found an abandoned puppy and brought her home. She is a beautiful black lab-mix, about 2 months old. Like with all young dogs, Wwe expected that she would need to be housebroken and trained and that it would take some time.  But, since that very first day, she went outside to go potty. She didn't mess in the house one time. She was so well-behaved, right from the start and, she came to Uus this way. Wwe didn't train her. Wwe didn't have one thing to do with her being so good.  When Wwe take her on walks, people compliment Uus on how well-behaved she is and how pretty she is.  But, is her beauty and good behavior a reflection on Uus, as her owners?  Wwe didn't even pick her out.  She just came to Uus.  So, how can she even be a reflection on Oour good taste in picking a dog when Wwe didn't even pick her? Wwe can't take credit for her or her fine attributes. All Wwe did was take her in and give her a healthy, safe, and loving home. It's not like Wwe picked a dirty, mangy, wild beast from the animal shelter and transformed her into a beautiful, calm, obedient pet. She came to Uus the way she is, with her beauty and excellent qualities. The same can be said for me, although i don't have her beauty and i wasn't abandoned or rescued.  i came to my Master just as i am.  He didn't do anything to make me into the person that i am or the slave that i am.  He answered my ad, talked with me, got to know me, found out that i had what He was looking for, offered to take ownership of me and gave me a home.  He didn't train me to be what He wanted.  i was already what He wanted.  He didn't clean me up, change my style of dress or appearance or, otherwise transform me into a slave of His own making. He simply took ownership of me. Does that reflect His good taste? Maybe. Or, maybe His good sense. Or, maybe His good fortune. Or, maybe mine.  But, how i look and how i behave is not a reflection of anything He has done. When i do well, He doesn't say, "Well, haven't i created a fine slave?" He says, "You did a good thing."  For example, these are actual IMs He sent to me: Master (10/13/2007 3:34:34 AM): hello whore, of mine, I am proud of you for getting your license, many would have just gave up and quit, you kept at it, did all you had to do to get your right to drive again, and you did it all yourself. i know it feels good
Master (10/13/2007 11:03:09 AM): its all about getting knocked down, and picking yourself up, sometimes it takes time, but in the end you always pick yourself up, as much as you like to credit me with getting your license, it was you, you had to do the grunt work,
Master (10/13/2007 11:03:37 AM): enjoy the flvor of your hard earned license, Master He's proud of me for who i am and what i have done, not for what He has done to make me who i am and not for how others view Him because He has me.  The same is true when i mess up and do something dumb or make a fool of myself, it's not a reflection on my Master, in any way, shape or, form. i'm just a klutz, sometimes or, i get into too much of a hurry or, i try to do too much at one time. my Master accepts the fact that i'm not perfect and that i make mistakes. He knows that i make up for my flaws in other ways.  But, He doesn't take the credit when i do good and He doesn't take the blame when i don't do good.  He compliments me, when i do good and He chastises me, when i do something wrong.  As for what others think about my Master because i am with Him well, i have never heard anyone say, "Wow, He sure picked a plum.  What good taste He has." or, anything like that. i have heard people say, "They make a good couple" and, "They seem to be good together." Is that a reflection on Him, as my Master or, on me, as His slave?  Or, is it just a casual observation that two good people found each other and are doing well together? Personally, i think it's kind of shallow to think that someone can have an elevated status or be considered a person of quality simply by who they are with.  If that's all that it takes, then all you need to do is hire a beautiful, well-mannered, well-dressed, well-spoken date for the night.  i prefer to look a little deeper and to judge a person on their own merit, instead of judging them by who they have on their arm or at their feet.  Like i said, i guess i am in the minority on this.   slave joy
Owned property of Master David

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 11:24:20 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I think we are always a reflection of those we chose as partners.
In this lifestyle and outside of this lifestyle.
How could a submissive not be a reflection of their Master?

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 11:33:18 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		I think that everyone I love is a reflection of me. My friends, my family, my lovers. This isn't even a D/s question.

If they do something asinine, I look bad because I have chosen to love an ass.

If they do something incredible, I look brilliant because I have chosen to love someone incredible.

Obviously, I prefer to look brilliant, so I try to reserve my love for people who are incredible rather than people who are asses. And while as a Dominant I can, to a certain extent, influence the behavior of a sub, if said sub consistently acts like an ass it's probably because they're just an ass, not because I'm a bad Domme. The thing that really makes me look bad is choosing to get involved with an ass, not failing to properly train that ass to be a pleasant person. And if an incredible sub happens to make an asinine mistake every once in a while, and eyes turn to me because they are all waiting to see what corrective action I will take, well, I can live with that. Nobody is perfect. Generally speaking they are still incredible and that's the overall reflection.

That said, I don't think that these reflections mean that I carry any *responsibility* for their actions. Everyone, even a sub or a slave, is responsible for their own actions.

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/4/2007 11:59:38 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		InkedMaster and i are private people, we do not attend munches, dungeons or other "lifestyle" events.  However, He has charged me specifically with making sure He presents well wherever we go, making sure He never has a crumb on His beard, making sure He hasn't left the house without whatever items He needs to bring, and other little things like that.  i would have no way of knowing if anyone notices me at all or if they notice Him because of me.  That is not my focus.  In fact, i would be very uncomfortable with thinking that i was the reason He was noticed or respected.  That focus is on Him, i would do nothing, say nothing that would take focus away from Him and onto me.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/5/2007 1:46:44 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Since I'm conscious of what standards I set for my girl, how she behaves is a reflection on me - absolutely. 
 
To me, it's no different to when I see pets or kids behaving feral - my focus immediately shifts to whoever owns or is responsible for them.  Same at a munch 5 or 6 years back - a sub was chucking a major tantrum and while I did enjoy the show, I was more interested in how her dom looked lost and helpless. 
 
It's all too easy when it's happening to someone else....  lmao
 
Focus.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/5/2007 2:01:51 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I think in some D/s relationships the sub/slave -is- a reflection of their Owners/Dommes/Doms. I've heard it said and read over and over that when a sub/slave is out somewhere, what they do reflects on their Domme/Dom. etc.

Obviously this wont be the same for -every- D/s relationship, but in My experience (or lack there of) it's a widely held belief that subs/slaves reflect their Owners/Dommes./Doms.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/5/2007 3:38:00 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		We live in the small community where I was born and raised. I know 90% of the people here and they know me and my family. So when Master and I are out in public, you bet people are looking at us and assessing how we reflect on each other. More so, when Master and I are talking in a store or restraunt and I defer to him for the final decision on something( I may say, " What do you think about this?". ) and more often than not we will notice someone smiling at us or saying how lucky I am to have a man in my life that cares enough to be involved in things...That makes me feel so good and its worth every twinkle in Masters eyes when he winks at me.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? - 12/5/2007 3:53:45 AM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		honestly, joy, i do absolutely grasp what you mean. 

and no, Daddy didnt have to do much in the way of training me either, just has given me encouragement and said "ok, i prefer you to do this rather than that" when he deemed necessary.  i'm fortunate in that he likes and appreciates me as i am. 

i used the "training a pup" analogy because the "bringing up a UM" analogy wouldnt fly here.  but its still the same...if you have well-behaved imps, people assume you're a good parent.  a dominant with a well-behaved s-type is assumed to have done at least some of the work to get the sub/slave to that point.

i think that no matter how well- or ill- behaved a sub is, someone will take the liberty of thinking that the dominant is the reason why.  which to my mind, is reason enough for me to be on my company manners when we're out in public, just so that he is looked on with more favor at having either trained or picked a "good one".

kitten

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Slaves a relfection of their M? Or not? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094