Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub)

Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

stacee -> Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:06:22 PM)
I want a certain Dom as my Dom (granted I only know him through his profile, never met or chatted), but he hasn't given me an answer one way or the other. I decided that I will give up; but someone suggested that I be patient and prove to the Dom that I am what he is looking for...my question is how? Any suggestion will be very much appreciated. How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them? The only venue mind you is collarme.com, so I don't know if there's anything else to do...

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:13:57 PM)
Be who you truly are. It is better to not be loved for who you are, then to win your Dom by being somebody else.

laurell3 -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:14:05 PM)
At this point you don't really know whether he is what you are looking for. Keep that in mind. Any impression you have from a profile only may or may not be accurate. Coming across as desperate will most assuredly likely cause concern on his part. Wait for his response.

Stephann -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:20:28 PM)
Erm... I'd start with writing the guy and saying hello. I'd follow up with friendly conversation in email, followed by messenger, and offer him my phone number. I'd enjoy polite (and non-sexual) discussions several times on the phone until I know he's someone I'd really like to get to know better over several days, at which point I'd introduce the thought of meeting for coffee or dinner. Stephan

Lordandmaster -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:36:10 PM)
If you've already tried once to catch his attention, and he refuses to respond, doing anything else goes under the category of stalking.

stacee -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:41:44 PM)
well he did respond, and asked for more detail on what exactly i was looking for and for a pic. i told him what i was looking for, as best as i could, and asked him to let me know if after seeing what i was looking for, if he could still fit with me, and also told him that i would send him a pic as soon as i get his response. still waiting on his response.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 8:43:38 PM)
You could try sending him that e-mail ONE more time, because sometimes e-mail on Collarme goes lost, so it's not completely inconceivable that he never got your message (or you never got his). But if he still doesn't respond, I think that means it's time to start looking at other profiles again.

breatheasone -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 10:14:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster You could try sending him that e-mail ONE more time, because sometimes e-mail on Collarme goes lost, so it's not completely inconceivable that he never got your message (or you never got his). But if he still doesn't respond, I think that means it's time to start looking at other profiles again. Yeah...what he said....do that.

masterlink65 -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 10:50:02 PM)
quote: How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them? one way to prove to a dom you are what he is looking for, is to do something simple. like for example, follow an instruction given to you, by him. such as when he asked you to send a photo, and instead of sending him a photo, you sent him an instruction, you email me and i will send photo. you really mean to tell me the only photo you have of yourself is the one in your profile? any dom is going to want a sub to be able to at least submit, and maybe even follow an order from time to time.

masterlink65 -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 10:53:28 PM)
sorry,,,, tell us.. i should have used tell us, not tell me

DefiantFlower -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 11:17:19 PM)
i agree with masterlink. That bit about you sending a picture only after he complies with your wishes...that's not really the route to take. i'm all for using cat and mouse charm once you've reeled em in a bit. But it seems he's simply going about business as usual until you respond the way he asked you to. OR he's just busy and hasn't had time to write back. Who knows?

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/5/2007 11:22:55 PM)
Is is possible that you're chasing someone who doesn't want you because you need to prove your own self-worth...to yourself...by "winning him over"? Continue to talk to him, if you want, but be only yourself. This way, if he DOES decide to pursue you, he's pursuing YOU, not who you've put forth in an effort to win him. Master Fire

SlavesSoul -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 6:16:06 AM)
There are some wonderful words of wisdom here. Instead of asking how you prove you are worthy of him, maybe you should be more interested in finding out who he really is as a person. He may not be what you really want / need in your life. You might want to make sure that you are more than just kink compatable if you are wanting something long term. I hate to be boring and practical....but if he loves blasting (insert whatever kind of music you hate) on a daily basis, and wants to scene to it.....I'm a masochist, but over time that would just make me insane! Is he into hunting? Will he expect you to go along and carry his gun? Actually, I would be okay with that, and might even be a better shot...but you might not want to deal with it. It's true that a profile can give you a glimpse of someone, but you really can't know them until you have spent enough time talking that they relax and let you see a bit more into their personality. I have spoken with men that sounded great in their profile and in the first conversations as well, only to find as time moved on that there were some issues going on that I would prefer not to have in my life. The opposite has also been true. I have met ment who had very brief profiles, and who's first communications were rather uninteresting, and later found them to be much more than I thought. They just took a while to get warmed up. I go into it thinking...possible new friend, maybe play partner...anything else....we'll see K

KatyLied -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:20:30 AM)
quote: How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? I don't prove anything. I allow a conversation to flow and if there's something there good, it may lead to something, it may lead to friendship, it may fizzle out. Also it's not all about the sub "proving" to the dominant, the dominant also has to particpate in the courtship or getting-to-know-you or whatever you may call it.

OldBastardly1 -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:23:15 AM)
I can't believe I am saying this, BUT.....I have to agree with mlink on this one. [sm=ofcourse.gif] Maybe you should "reconsider" sending him a pic like he asked for. If I were He, you would hear nothing more from me until I got your pic, and if it takes too long, it would be too late. Just my opinion.[sm=mrpuffy.gif]

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:27:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stacee I want a certain Dom as my Dom (granted I only know him through his profile, never met or chatted), but he hasn't given me an answer one way or the other. I decided that I will give up; but someone suggested that I be patient and prove to the Dom that I am what he is looking for...my question is how? Any suggestion will be very much appreciated. How do you prove to a Dom that you are what they are looking for? Is it worth convincing them? The only venue mind you is collarme.com, so I don't know if there's anything else to do... You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Conversely, you can't keep something from doing something they want to do. Clearly, it's the Dom's discretion whether he replies to you or not. Making sending him a pic conditional on his reply may have been considered disrespectful. However, it's possible your e-mail may have just been lumped in with two many others. My advice: Follow up with a short message asking if he received yours...and include the photo. Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

mnottertail -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:33:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stacee well he did respond, and asked for more detail on what exactly i was looking for and for a pic. i told him what i was looking for, as best as i could, and asked him to let me know if after seeing what i was looking for, if he could still fit with me, and also told him that i would send him a pic as soon as i get his response. still waiting on his response. Well, luvbuggy-- How long have you waited? If it is a day or two-----look into my eyes---settle down. If it is a couple weeks, wipe the traces of the brief desire from your mind and seek your fortunes elsewhere. VoyageMaster

Vanatru -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:38:18 AM)
It's also possible that when he read you only want to be submissive in the bedroom, he decided he wasn't interested. I know, since I live M/s 24/7, I wouldn't be interested in a kinky, vanilla relationship (which is what you're wanting). But then, I don't know who you're talking about, so maybe that's what he has on his profile as well.

breatheasone -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 7:58:56 AM)
Why should she or anyone else "submit" after getting ONE e-mail??

DesFIP -> RE: Showing Him I'm worth it(his sub) (12/6/2007 8:46:12 AM)
You've set up a fantasy image of him that is based on your own projections and not based in reality because the truth is, you don't know him. Now, if he sounds like you might click, you send a friendly email saying you liked what he said about x y or z, and ask a question for him to respond to. If he ignores you, wait two weeks and try again. Beyond that, either you don't fit into his requirements so your emails have gone directly to bulk mail or he did look at your profile and didn't like it. In that case, move on.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875