RE: Can subbies make a commitment?

RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (Full Version)

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OldBastardly1 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 12:57:55 PM)
I did not mean to offend you. That would be wrong to do. I merely offered up my input of what might be a possible reason for your negative experiences. But to answer your question, as I stated clearly ( I thought ), it was the text portion of your profile, which would include all words written by you, which would include the journal and what you wrote about what you are looking for and who you are. With that being said, if your past potential subs read your profile, they should have seen what I saw, but maybe they were seeing the pics and hoping, which would lay more blame on them....or maybe I am completely wrong. I am old and do make mistakes.[sm=cool.gif]

CreativeDominant -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 1:41:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Feminita I am beyond tired of subbies indicating they want to chat or meet then "disappear". Is it the nature of subbies to withdrawl and wither? Is it more related to suburban or southern babes? Is it Georgia? Is it me? What are your experiences? I am only refereing to females, men are TOO willing to meet! Actually...of the southern submissives I have dealt with, I have only had one who withdrew. The reasons for that have been posted on here before. I know of several other southern submissives who are quite charming and have never withdrawn from conversation with me. Of course, I am not going after all of them with the idea of filling my bed with them and another...as someone noted, what you are seeking i.e. the hot, bisexual female is more rare than originally thought. One who will not only enjoy playing with you but with your husband is...I suspect...an even more rare creature. Finally...one who additionally goes for BDSM- lite rather than heavier play is probably the rarest of them all. Given this, I can understand your frustration. I do find it difficult to understand your off-putting profile. Seems to me that if you wish to attract people, you spend less time speaking about the "losers" you've attracted and about who you do not want responding and more time speaking about you, your hubby, and what it is you seek. Then try to do it in the most honest way possible without being rude or snarly or snarky...who wants to play with a dominant or a switch whose personality is of the "shredder" type before they have even met? People have called it right...you are an extremely attractive woman...but the attitude is a killer. I've had the chance to be with women as good looking as you and I daresay better looking than you and when they trotted out a personality like that, I backed away. Even when I was vanilla and wanted to just fuck...I didn't want to fuck a snotty bitch.

MystressDream -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 1:45:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: txnights05 quote: Not everyone accepts No as an answer. Some people are in such denial, they reject rejection. No kidding... i spent an hour chatting with a gentleman last night. I concluded that we were not a good match for several reasons. I told him so and was given "let's keep the door open for now". I try very hard not to offend or hurt someone else's feelings but as you say, some don't take a no very easily. I know this topic has been beaten to death and plummeted into the ground... but, it seems to come up on a regular basis. Like the country song by Garth Brooks... "We bury the hatchet, but leave the handle sticking out".... Simple not responding to an initial contact is common, and many don't even think there is a need for a response. The old... ."No response IS a response". I guess I just have trouble understanding the heavy games. Someone you email and talk to for a length of time... someone you start to think is an excellent prospect... someone who begs for the chance to meet in person.... and then, when you agree, they cut off communication. Won't even respond to an email asking why. Oh well... I don't hold any hope of actually meeting anyone on here anyway. I will continue to use it as a means for some information, but more for entertainment purposes. Does that make me sound jaded? Yes... to online. No... to real time. One of the ploys that really pushes my button is... a family emergency... a son in a car accident... that being the reason they weren't able to call at a specified time. Or they lost their job and are frantically looking for another one. I, stupidly, express concern for them. Email asking if the son is OK.... asking the other one if the job search is going well for him.... And that is when they choose to ignore the emails. After already setting a date to meet in person, of course. lol Well, if showing concern for them is a turn off, then it is a wonderful thing that they cut it off... they are not the kind of people I would want in my life anyway. I am more inclined, however, to think that the "OMG... now I have to figure out how to make that lame lie sound real!" The rudely cutting off communication after only one or two emails doesn't bother me at all. Would it be nice to get a "Thank you but, I am not interested"? Yes... do I expect it? But then, manners are a very important thing to me. As are decency and common courtesy. I just seem to be one of the few anymore. <grin> edited to add: *There are many of us who would gladly accept the "I don't think we are a match". Much more so than the lead on and dump practice.*

Feminita -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 2:11:30 PM)
Your message on my post is 100% correct. Many have the my kid got sick, etc. One even told me their dog bit them and they had to have it's head cut off for a rabies test so they were to tramatized to meet; my kid was in the hospital so I could not respond (and their profiles shows they were on every day, read but no response to emails, etc) Yes, the mere correct and gracious " I dont think we'll work out" is TOO MUCH for folks...

wisteriaV -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 2:16:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail do nipples areolas suffer middle aged spread as bellies and behinds often do? Dr. Kildare Not if they are pulled, tugged, ect they stay nice and firm.

toservez -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 2:33:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Feminita OB- Is it my "profile" or "journal" you find objectionable? FYI- I get 9:1 fan mail on it ...usually like "rolled on the floor laughing" (correct interpretation) But I think that is many of our points. From reading your profile you are basically looking for a female submissive for casual play and threesomes with your husband and it is written like you are taking an order for one not trying to draw one to you. That is just a very small percentage of female submissives that are going to be interested in that type of thing and throw in the way it is written you turn off probably a good percentage of the tiny percentage that might be interested. So what does that leave you with that like your profile and/or seem interested? People who share your frustration and negativity, the game players and/or people who just looked at your pictures and did not read or care what you wrote. Your bait is not for what you are looking for but only for the people you cannot stand. What type of results did you expect to get? I will be honest when I read the profile I thought it came off like some guy posing as a female from how it is written.

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 3:15:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Clearly, you're looking for a woman to 'play' with you and your husband. The problem isn't you, exactly, but rather you're pursuing a unicorn (the single hot bisexual female.) For every one of these rare creatures, you've got nine other couples hounding them as well. So, a quick look at your profile has lovely photos of you... but not the man you're going to expect her to be with? The entire text of your profile reads 'sex ad.' It gives the bare bones "couple seeking hawt chick." It's filled with your venting against the world and sundry with lots of colorful words (literally in blue and magenta) and 'smilies' that swing hammers and flip the double bird. The profile's so angry and devoid of actual information on who you are, in fact, that my first thought is "This is probably a guy using his wife' photos, looking to hook up with chicks on the side." Usually, women's profiles are friendly and talk about who they are as people, what the like, what makes them happy. It also helps to clearly explain what, exactly, the type of relationship the female submissive might expect to engage in (i.e. for a one night stand, or an occasional play partner, or a live in full time slave.) It's usually men posing as women who say "I'm a hawt chick with great tits." I can only assume that you're persona is exactly the same way in chat, as it is in your profile. Put yourself in the submissive's shoes; if some woman (or possibly a man posing as a woman) came on to you, the way you come on to these girls, why on earth would you be interested? Attractive women don't lack from any opportunities for sex, regardless of what the alt.com advertisements tell you. Stephan I thought the same thing when I read the profile...now as a single bi female submissive I will say that I have occasionally met with couples but not unless I have had lots of conversations with both of them...him first...but her included...and if even one thing sounds off or wrong, then I am gone, Elusive as anyone can be...and seriously now, when single women get dozens of emails daily from available men, what incentive is there to spend time with a couple in a committed relationship anyway??only when I am really REALLY bored, and that is not often, do I even acknowledge their emails

girlygurl -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 3:24:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail do nipples areolas suffer middle aged spread as bellies and behinds often do? Dr. Kildare Nope not mine! [:D] rushes off to look at dress girly

sexyred1 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 3:39:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HottLicks To play along here... check out the pic's on profile... okay... I am going blind as a bat, but how do you get really huge nipples on some pic's and smaller ones with that amount of difference on one domme? I just don't get it.... Call me lost or help me understand... I care not... I just wanna know how to do that or to know the truth of how blind I must be? No, you are not lost or blind. The OP has multiple photos of women, just not of the same woman. Note the blonde hair in one shot is not the same woman in the opening shot and then as you said, the breast situation. Not to mention the "subbie" comment. Perhaps the subbies do not wish to meet with a woman with multiple personalities?

TysGalilah -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 3:49:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1 I will try to say this in such a way that I don't feel the wrath of Mod 11 again. I read the profile & saw the pics. I saw an attractive woman in the pics and a rather unattractive person in the text. It is a shame to waste beauty on a mean/nasty core ( I am speaking of the personality ). I have had conversations with people that I thought would be interesting, only to find that the more I found out about them, the less interested I was. Example time....if I was fishing for trophy bass, but was using calf liver for bait, I seriously doubt that I would catch a trophy bass. Should I insult the bass because it didn't want to eat icky calf liver? I don't mean this as an insult [sm=flying.gif], just offering some constructive input. ..gotta love a good fishing analogy !

HottLicks -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 3:59:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: HottLicks To play along here... check out the pic's on profile... okay... I am going blind as a bat, but how do you get really huge nipples on some pic's and smaller ones with that amount of difference on one domme? I just don't get it.... Call me lost or help me understand... I care not... I just wanna know how to do that or to know the truth of how blind I must be? No, you are not lost or blind. The OP has multiple photos of women, just not of the same woman. Note the blonde hair in one shot is not the same woman in the opening shot and then as you said, the breast situation. Not to mention the "subbie" comment. Perhaps the subbies do not wish to meet with a woman with multiple personalities? lol... Well... I couldn't assume that the difference in looks was that it was a different woman, because if one looks at my pictures throughout the years, I change constantly and many have said I don't look like the same woman. Hair dye... hair do's... heck my own grandmother didn't know me once and thought I was my ex husbands daughter! lol But the nipple thing... well... that just got me. hehe I thought the boobs looked great... why change them? And even if they were changed... wouldn't the nipples be almost the same? Gee... I need to google more medical facts! OR look at more boob jobs. lol But all in all... just as many have said... the looks are great... attitude changes everything. But I thought with multiple personalities, they were different... This one... whether it is this one or that one, all seem to have the same attitude.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 4:19:16 PM)
Darn, I was hoping this thread was going to be asking 'Can a submissive really be counted on to uphold responsibilities when their dom can intercede at any moment?" I had a great answer ready for that. Oh well, it'll come around again.

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 4:27:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1 I will try to say this in such a way that I don't feel the wrath of Mod 11 again. I read the profile & saw the pics. I saw an attractive woman in the pics and a rather unattractive person in the text. It is a shame to waste beauty on a mean/nasty core ( I am speaking of the personality ). I have had conversations with people that I thought would be interesting, only to find that the more I found out about them, the less interested I was. Example time....if I was fishing for trophy bass, but was using calf liver for bait, I seriously doubt that I would catch a trophy bass. Should I insult the bass because it didn't want to eat icky calf liver? I don't mean this as an insult [sm=flying.gif], just offering some constructive input. 'Pretty is, as pretty does...'

laurell3 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 4:27:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Feminita Nothing is implied after "one chat"...where does that stupidity come from? you've taken this inquiry way off track with your absurd jumping to erronous conclusions...what a dope! If this is the package you are attempting to sell, the answer to your question should be quite obvious. "Fan mail" from wankers is not all that hard to get, oddly though, most of us don't welcome it or brag about it.

Maya2001 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 6:07:13 PM)
If I received an email that expressed as much negative attitude as your profile does I probably would simply not respond back either figuring I am just wasting my time and effort in replying to it and likely would end up subjecting myself if I did to some of the abuse you seem to dish out to others in your journal even if I did not recieve an email with such negativity, reading your journal alone would make me hestitant to meet you, thinking I may not not measure up to your supreme holiness that you exude in your profile, not that it is ever going to happen since I am straight but if any dom used his journal to degrade others the way you have, I surely would not want to meet face to face with. And a lady has class, is respectful to others and does not sink down to the level of others even when offended and knows when to hold her tongue

AquaticSub -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 6:32:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HottLicks But the nipple thing... well... that just got me. hehe I thought the boobs looked great... why change them? And even if they were changed... wouldn't the nipples be almost the same? Gee... I need to google more medical facts! OR look at more boob jobs. lol Depends on the job. After my reduction the area around my nipples will be smaller and I've been told they will be darker, for awhile anyway.

trappedinamuseum -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 6:54:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Feminita I am beyond tired of subbies indicating they want to chat or meet then "disappear". Is it the nature of subbies to withdrawl and wither? Is it more related to suburban or southern babes? Is it Georgia? Is it me? What are your experiences? I am only refereing to females, men are TOO willing to meet! Sorry....I stop answering messages, or really even paying attention after someone calls me "subbie" I don't call you "dommie". Why would you feel you have the right to call me "subbie" shudder

kc692 -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 7:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: girlygurl quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail do nipples areolas suffer middle aged spread as bellies and behinds often do? Dr. Kildare Nope not mine! [:D] rushes off to look at dress girly But.......you have a cute behind!!!!!!lol

CollegeConundrum -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 9:42:18 PM)
I couldn't help but notice the shot you took at guys. I'm all too willing to meet because what am I going to learn through a bunch of emails? Is reading emails going to build trust, when you could be writing those emails as your cutting off your current victim's fingers? Probably not. Meeting a person, talking to them face to face gives you the truest idea of what a person is and where their intentions lie.

briska -> RE: Can subbies make a commitment? (12/6/2007 10:32:40 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Maybe they'll stick around if you don't call them subbies?

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