am i an ass?

am i an ass? (Full Version)

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txnights05 -> am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:15:16 AM)
A gentleman iniated contact with me yesterday and after a couple of emails we moved to chatting via IM. We hit if off very well and had a lovely conversation full of humor and some common interests. We couldn't chat long because i had to go to work. I got home from work and found two IM's from him stating that he had read my profile since we chatted and was disappointed to find that i was interested in younger men and since that wasn't him and he didn't meet my "requirements" he wouldn't bother me anymore.. good bye. I wrote him and tried to explain that a preference is not the same thing as a requirement and that me tending to prefer younger men does not mean that i dislike men who are not. I knew his age when we started talking... he is only 5 years older than me. My profile states: In an ideal world if i could pick and choose attributes for my perfect Dom he would... 1. Live within what would be considered "driving distance". For me that is about 2 hours. Houston area is perfect.. Austin area is acceptable. 2. Be intelligent and educated... and interested in getting to know my mind before and above anything else. 3. Be able to speak in complete sentences using whole words. "How r u?" doesn't qualify. 4. Be taller than me... not important for some but i need to be able to "look up" to my Partner. 5. Be younger than me... 40 to 50 is great... 20 to 35 is not. and last but certainly not least.. 6. Have a great sense of humor and have his glass half full... if it isn't fun what is the point? So he says to me "in fact, since I now see that you want a younger man, I'll leave you be. People like you who classify others by ANY method are abhorrant to me. Besides, I have a scar on my left elbow so that MUST disqualify me as well. You'll NEVER find ANYONE worthwhile." "you are an ass and you will continue to be alone." I am not trying to be shallow or judgemental... these are attributes that i am attracted to and i didn't see a problem with putting them here... am i an ass for doing so? Should i word this differently, leave it out or....??? pam

mnottertail -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:17:34 AM)
I looked at your photos, and didn't see any ass shots, so I may not be qualified to judge as to its size or texture. Some folk are just brittle, honey..........forget it. Ron

PanthersMom -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:19:04 AM)
my goodness, sounds like someone is being a bit sensitive. he sounds like someone who is very insecure and not interested in giving you the benefit of the doubt. better you found out now than later. be glad you didn't invest a whole lot in getting to know him. more fish in the sea as they say! PM

KatyLied -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:20:30 AM)
quote: "you are an ass and you will continue to be alone." You'll NEVER find ANYONE worthwhile." I dunno Ron, he may have issues beyond being brittle.

mnottertail -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:21:28 AM)
I wonder how much ass he got layin around on the couches, he can say that.

ghitaPVH -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:22:05 AM)
more than likely he was scared of leading into something more than cyber and he needed an excuse to back out of it and make it all your fault...

ctrlaltdelete -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:25:16 AM)
I think it is perfectly fine to start of by having and communicating a referential framework of preference. If you don't, you wind up with an imp while desiring a stud. You had also sufficiently indicated your willingness to step outside of that framework for the right person/chemistry. Always remember, and I am not saying that he is as I don't not squat about him, that some folks like to you use cheap psychological parlor tricks to gain an upper hand on people - most ideally, by putting them on the defensive or making them feel they are wrong with whatever they are doing. Already, you are questioning yourself right now. And maybe, he just didn't feel the same connection you did.

MsBearlee -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:27:55 AM)
Well, I'm wondering if he just didn't pull a 'bait & switch'. No sane person would go off on a tangent like that... of course, for some five years younger IS younger; what did he think younger meant; 20 years? I'm wondering if he's got something out of joint somewhere, and is looking to get even...regardless of with whom. I've received notes like that...where someone picks some inconsequential part of my profile and just goes off on it (and not in a good way.) There are a lot of oddballs out there. Consider yourself lucky you found out sooner than later. B edited to add: Also, perhaps he lied about his age. There are some people, 50+ who decide that since they are young in spirit and look pretty good...perhaps they'll shave a few years off their age. I've met some guys who say they are 50-something and I just know they are getting close to seventy! A lot like some short guys add an inch or two to their height. I'm 5' 8" and it cracks me up when a guy who lists himself as 5' 10 is a good two inches shorter than me...and I'm in flat shoes!!! LOL

Argentopal -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:28:41 AM)
Good Grief this sounds like a perfect case of someone who is really way way off base. In an ideal world Id select a bald guy, but Argent has a head of hair so think he will never in his life be bald without the aid of a razor; and I love running my hands through his hair! Oh and I kinda like younger guys with long hair and old hippies with greying ponytails and really tall guys and Argent is only 2 inches taller than me and so on and so on. That guy needs some serious "get a life" lessons. You are way better off knowing what he really is now. But I know it still sucks to get a post like that, just consider the source and know that he is the one who missed out. hugs from "the Austin area"! opal

OldBastardly1 -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:29:41 AM)
I saw nothing wrong....with your preferences. He was the ass. I think he said that if he can't be everything to a girl, he won't be a friend. Get used to it. the world is full of dumbasses. Perhaps he has had way more rejection than the average person, lol.

juliaoceania -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:33:59 AM)
Here is a part of what you are looking for that he definitely did not fit that would be a deal breaker if it were me. quote: 6. Have a great sense of humor and have his glass half full... if it isn't fun what is the point? His attitude lacks humor and optimism, not to mention, he doesn't sound like much fun either. If they get that bent out of shape before you know them, imagine being in a relationship with them...omg, no thanks

Maya2001 -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:34:41 AM)
Leave your profile as is, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, the only thing wrong is his attitude and reaction, and it is better to know now than be involved with someone that putsw you on a continous guilt trip.because their feelings are easily hurt

Vanatru -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:35:00 AM)
there's nothing wrong with preferences, and I don't really understand why you removed them from your profile (unless you've decided those things aren't important to you now). I'd rather know such things upfront instead of after talking a while, which could possibly be why he got bent; he didn't take the time to look to begin with, then got pissed about it (however, in this case, it was his own fault for not looking first). Everyone has likes and dislikes and reasons for their own preferences. I will say it's probably good to know he would be so hot-headed, as another guy might have responded by asking questions about your interest in him considering the discrepency with your profile. I also keep in mind that people can change their minds about themselves and what they want, and don't always update their profiles to keep current.

Stephann -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:35:38 AM)
Hi there pam, So I just moved here from Austin; my first suggestion is this guy isn't worth the tears he's crying over you. I know it's hard to see this; that first, instant connection is often very powerful online. Sometimes you have to just understand that this guy probably isn't anything like what you imagine him to be. It's incredibly easy to build a mental image of a person online based on an initial chat. Having said that, I would suggest that since obviously five years older doesn't matter to you, why not include that in your profile? If I were female.... (shhhh peanut gallery!)... I'm 30 right now. I doubt I'd be interested in any but the most exceptional man under the age of 26. I doubt I'd be interested in men over the age of 42. So I wouldn't write 'Ideally, you're 28-35.' I'd write "I prefer not to receive email from those under the age of 25, or over the age of 42." Put your absolute limits, if you put them at all. Having said that, someone who's genuinely interested in you won't be scared off by your profile. My submissive, Tigrita, had clearly stated that her one absolute minimum physical requirement was that a man had to be 6'2" to be attractive to her (she's 5'9".) Being 5'9", I wrote anyway saying "I don't usually write people who have 'you must be this high to ride' but you seem interesting and I'd love to get to know you better." Turns out, she'd been reading my posts for a while, and all but said that she didn't really care about the height thing. Fortune favors the bold. Do you want a dominant who isn't? Stephan

dawntreader -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:36:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Here is a part of what you are looking for that he definitely did not fit that would be a deal breaker if it were me. quote: 6. Have a great sense of humor and have his glass half full... if it isn't fun what is the point? His attitude lacks humor and optimism, not to mention, he doesn't sound like much fun either. If they get that bent out of shape before you know them, imagine being in a relationship with them...omg, no thanks ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! Good one julia and i agree 100%!!

Missokyst -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:40:33 AM)
Wow.. oversensitive little bugger, wasn't he? Off hand I would say he is probably 10-15 yrs older than his stated age. I tend to like men slightly younger than myself too. But that is a generalization. We all have preferences we adjust as life happens. As for him, it is a good thing he exposed himself so quickly. There is nothing I detest more than a pouty, oversensitive man (or woman) Kyst

MistressNoName -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:46:19 AM)
Are you kidding? Are you seriously going to second guess yourself over a person whose behavior suggests an emotional insecurity that you are truly better off without having to deal with? He flew off the handle over a very minor issue. Some people do that and they all have their reasons, none of which have anything whatever to do with you. You are entitled to your likes and dislikes and unfortunately there are just too many people on this site who lack a degree of maturity which then becomes the reason why many people end up stating so plainly what they will and will not stand for. He's really not the issue, though. You are. Simply stated, although it can be useful to ask other people's opinions at times, it seems to me that you may need to grow a little more confident in yourself. You have to know that stating a preference does not make one an "ass." Perhaps you should be considering that he is the "ass." Or better yet, throw the word out altogether and realize that he may well be just another very troubled individual and you served as his target for the day. Hope that helps you gain some perspective on this. Best, MNN

Jeffff -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:48:02 AM)
Ron, I agree we can not see her ass.......but you CAN see a bit of nippleage. Inspector Jeff

farglebargle -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:50:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ghitaPVH more than likely he was scared of leading into something more than cyber and he needed an excuse to back out of it and make it all your fault... Give the lady a Cigar!

farglebargle -> RE: am i an ass? (12/7/2007 8:53:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff Ron, I agree we can not see her ass.......but you CAN see a bit of nippleage. Inspector Jeff I just had to go perv the profile after all this discussion. Those are really nice tits! I just cannot understand some people's thinking.

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