RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing??

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RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing?? - 12/16/2007 1:53:45 AM

SeekingTriad

Posts: 7
Joined: 11/22/2006
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(the fem half posting here *heh*)

To the OP: I think what it all really comes down to is communication, communication, communication. I was in several different d/s, s/m, poly relationships before I got to where I am now. I've had some horrible experiances and some great ones. Nine times in ten I can chalk those bad experiances up to not communicating fully my wants and desires with my partner.

In my case, I don't have 'true' slaves, as that is against the law. Therefore, the people over or underneath me are always there because they want to be and vice versa. It also means that just like vanilla, if you don't tell your partner whats going on, they can't fix it. Now I am the type of person that needs to know whats in your head before I'm comfortable swatting you around, but some people assume if you don't complain then you must be having fun to.

If you are experiancing things that you don't want to.. if you in the end aren't having a good time.. if you don't like the person you become for the person you are serving.. then you need to have a serious chat with that person to fix it. If they aren't willing to listen then you need to decide if thats agreeable to you or not. I know some subs enjoy having their limits pushed, but there is limit pushing and there is abuse.. the line is different for everyone. If you don't feel that spending more time in punishment when you've done nothing wrong is acceptable, then you need to communicate that to your partner. As has been stated.. all b/d, d/s, and s/m aren't interchangeable and don't all come in one big package. You have to find a combination, or series of combinations that work for you and find someone that can meet you where you are so you can BOTH be happy, or unhappy, whatever you like..

Good luck!

(in reply to deeddlit)

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RE: Learning. - 12/16/2007 5:22:28 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UBERMUNSCHIST
Do you think that a S&M relationship needs a D/s dynamic?

Do you think that the D/s expression can be used as a tool (in an S&M based relationship) in the same way that you use S&M in your relationship?

Nope, S&M doesn't need a D/s dynamic. I have a lot of play partners with whom there is no D/s, just the S&M we enjoy when we play.

I think that D/s can be a pleasurable complement to S&M relationships at times.

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RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing?? - 12/16/2007 5:26:58 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UBERMUNSCHIST
Would you agree that trust is integral to both of these lifestyles?

Yes, trust and consent.

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RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing?? - 12/21/2007 3:49:23 PM

flowspen

Posts: 133
Joined: 5/5/2007
From: Memphis
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subhub2b

So, that leaves me with 3 related questions:
1) Why, when no punishment is necessary or warranted, did we spend so much time in torture sessions?
2) Why is the severity of my pain, and at times injury, directly related to the degree of pleasure she gets from inflicting it?
3) How can I love a sadist and at the same time regard sadism as an extremely unattractive personality trait?

1. Well it seems to me that your Mistress enjoyed torturing you for her pleasure and not so much as a punishment for you.

2. How can this be answered except by a Mistress who finds pleasure in your displeasure or pain? My Mistress enjoys for her slaves to suffer for her. There pain or will to endure more pain from her turns her on. It is almost orgasimic for her. Her enjoyment of it turns me on and thus I can endure even more pain from her, which pleases her even more. I never thought I was one who could be a pain slut but I know with her I will be.

3. Maybe you love the person who happens to be a Sadist?

(in reply to subhub2b)

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Post #: 44

RE: W...w...what are you gonna do to me with THAT thing?? - 12/21/2007 10:38:53 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

i'm sorry, the lack of sleep must be getting to me. i read this post topic and the first thing that ran thru my head was "i'm gonna make you scream like a soprano!" must have been the mental image, lol.

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Post #: 45