RE: How do You get it to stop?

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/13/2007 3:32:59 PM

julietsierra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

BadOne,
i apologize if i came off whiney or needy that was never my intention......However, one thing that He and i agree on (and has frankly been covered numerous times on this board) is that by me keeping my thoughts, fears, insecurities or feelings to myself i am in fact lying...An omission of truth is still a lie.....In our world anyway....
My intention on here wasn't too seek pity or sympathy...It was simply to seek advice and find a way over or through this particular area which is admitidly difficult for me.

KatyLied, Velvetears, and Laurel: You are some of the most awesome and inspiring women i have ever met...

thanks,
Kali

kalista:

Most of us realized this. Most of us understand exactly where you're coming from.

Some of us also understand where BadOne is coming from as well.

Oh.. .and you have mail.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/13/2007 3:36:49 PM >

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/13/2007 5:45:37 PM

Kalista07

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juliet,
Thank You so much for the understanding....

i do apologize if i came off a little defensive.

Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/13/2007 11:53:01 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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[/quote]

Any "Dom" that would dump her for being where she is in life given what she has been through is not worth her time. "Get over it" is horrific advice. Being in a car accident is not even remotely similar to the trauma she has been through, nor it is true that the effects of such trauma are temporary. She is doing the best she can where she is right now and it is good enough and much better than where she was before and even much better than when I met her. Your lack of understanding, sympathy, compassion and ignorance on the issues that are present in many in the lifestyle is astounding. Your intolerance for humanity speaks volumes about your ability to relate to REAL people.

People ask advice on forums. All of your posts tend to reflect that you somehow resent being asked for advice which leads me to ask you this...why don't you just "get over it"? I hate to point it out to you, but the superior, I don't have problems, you are all whiney guy is just as unattractive and attention seeking as what you perceive her to be, which isn't at all what she is. Kali isn't actually whining, she's being accountable and trying to help her situation, you on the other hand, are.
[/quote]

I guess I will have to highlite the portions where you insulted me because I don't happen to agree with your assesment of her situation. I also highlited a portion where you must be a mind reader. It is you that lack the ability to see another viewpoint. You do not have to agree just see it. hell you can't even do that.

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/14/2007 8:02:46 AM

Kalista07

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*edited* Because as much fun as it might be, it's just not nice to point out other people's obvious arrogances, resentments, and failings.......

Kali

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 12/14/2007 8:11:11 AM >

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~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/14/2007 11:59:56 AM

AnnabelHell

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Again, I'm choosing to ignore the other negative (and ridiculous) aspect this thread has taken on and addressing the few real issues I see.

kali, girl, you gotta sleep. you cannot help yourself, or be a proper submissive to your Dom if you don't. abusing yourself is not only bad for you, it's bad for your relationship. please stop torturing your body and get some rest. If you can't stop on your own, you have to level with your Dom and seek his help to regulate your activities.

Also, hiding your feelings from him because you're afraid of how you react is not going to help things. Obviously you not sleeping is related to what is going on. You can't expect him to be fully honest with you, if you can't be fully honest with him, eh? As a Dominant when you own someone, you don't just own the good stuff. You own the entire person. The good, the bad, the ugly. That includes all the voices in their head that worry and wonder. That includes the baggage and everything that's ever happened to them. No Dominant wants to own half a person, or the best part of a submissive that gets shown. We want the deep down nitty gritty. All of it, you gotta give it to him or you haven't given this the best you could and you can't blame him if neither does he. I know you do it as a defense mechanism. Maybe you don't even realize you are holding things back. Giving him all of you and then being hurt would be awful, I know. Love is worth the risk, in my opinion. Take a risk, give him your guts. See what happens. I'm not saying he's the perfect Dom or will be true - but if you aren't totally open - you can't expect him to be. Not to mention he was there, trying to communicate. He was obviously listening. So TELL HIM EVERYTHING!!! He needs to know. He can't help you if he doesn't and the situation can't flourish openly as it should be without it. Don't just talk to him to reassure yourself, talk to him to open up yourself to him. That's where you'll find trust.

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/14/2007 12:29:42 PM

Kalista07

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AnnabelHell,
Thanks for Your post.....i may be waaaay off here (and feel free to let me know if You think i am) but, i really don't think the lack of sleep and my insecurities with the trust issue are related....i do, however, think that it might be related to the fact that for this first time since i was 14 i am unemployed....And we did talk about it all again last night...
Kali

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~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/16/2007 2:59:08 AM

AnnabelHell

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I was not saying they *were* related, but I suspect anything and everything bothering you or stressing you out plays a part in not sleeping. My main point more than the cause was the effect - not sleeping = bad for you. Regardless of why the kind of extended periods without sleep you were speaking of are bad for your health, mood, and ability to cope with any kind of stress. I am a lot more concerned with the not sleeping, than I am why you aren't sleeping. We both know this is bad for you. My suggestion was that if you can't discipline yourself into resting your body and mind that you should take it to your Dom and let him help you try and get some rest. An even greater point was that when you have a Dom or Domme, your greater responsibility is to care for what is theirs. When you don't get enough rest you are damaging what belongs to someone else. No girl of mine would be so careless with something I cared about, I can assure you. No one can MAKE you sleep, but we can care.

Annabel.

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/16/2007 11:55:44 AM

Kalista07

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Thanks again AnnabellHell....i just wanted to let You all know that last night when i got home i came on here and sent him an email through here....He satyed on a bit longer than that...i saw He was on, checked his profile (only because He said He's working on changing it) and went downstairs to go to bed.....I took my sleeping pill (although i had taken it both the days before and had not slept at all) and He called..i talked to Him shortly, hung up, and went to sleep right afterwards!!! YEAH!!!
So, i'm really learning how to be okay with Him being here....In addition to recognizing that i am in fact a big 'ol hypocrite, i understand and am okay with the fact that it's my decision to make whether or not to trust Him...And if i'm struglling with making that decision that that's when i need to take it to Him...
Thanks all,
Kali

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“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/18/2007 10:51:13 AM

AnnabelHell

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The sleeping pills concern me a bit, but so long as you are not taking them long term or every single night you should be fine. I assume you've gotten both a doctors opinion and your that of your Dominant when taking them. If not, please do.

Just call me Dommy ... I'm like amother hen for submissive girls. I should start a wayward school.

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RE: How do You get it to stop? - 12/18/2007 3:20:02 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I guess I will have to highlite the portions where you insulted me because I don't happen to agree with your assesment of her situation. I also highlited a portion where you must be a mind reader. It is you that lack the ability to see another viewpoint. You do not have to agree just see it. hell you can't even do that.

BadOne:

With all due respect, I'd suggest that a) you get over the way other people are wording their responses since yours wasn't the most respectful of responses either. and b) Develop a thick skin with regards to the posts in these forums. While it may be just astounding that someone should not agree with you or say things the way you prefer them to be said, that's exactly what you're going to get around here. If you don't like how someone's said something, just move on. You pointing out what you call their lack of respect for you will not change their responses in the least, and it will tend to make you less believable when you do choose to post a response.

Just a bit of helpful advice from someone who knows you and who's been around here for a while. Take it for what you will.

juliet

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