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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm.

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RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 9:53:35 AM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Master and I lived together two years before I offered to have his name put on my bank accounts. He never asked, but I wanted to make sure that if anything happened to me that he could access the money.Also it was my way of telling him I trusted him no questions asked. Thus far it has been smooth sailing....

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 21

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 9:56:27 AM

leiah

Posts: 14
Status: offline

lei'ah does Not open her wallet

her submission to Masters power has nothing to do with $$ and if he makes it this way well

she is GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the one has nothing to do with another.

Unless M/s living in the same home with each having certain obligations to the welfare of the House just like regular ole nilla married folk do

_____________________________

"The attention and love such a girl obtains",
she said,
"Need not be accorded to her."
"No" ,I said.
"It is a gift of the Master".
13~354

His lei'ah

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 22

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 11:41:58 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Yeah Jeff,

miracles Do happen

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 23

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 11:43:35 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I hope you don't burn yourself,
is all I can say about this.

Goodluck

GoddezzT`

(it's amazing to see the difference between answers from men and woman)

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 24

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 11:45:38 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

So am I ravennfyre,
A singlemom. So for Me the issue is clear, I wouldn't do such.
Unless it's a very dear friend of Mine whom I know to trust.

Just curious if men & woman deal with it differently, and
ofcourse it depends on the income Wwe've.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to ravennfyre)

Post #: 25

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 12:15:51 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

Define'opening the wallet'.

Well the dark,

When you hardly know the Dom/me, would you already pay stuff for them,
if they said, they would need something. Is it an issue more for mensubs, who are charming, and feeling the need to show how much they care for Her? (to be a real gentleman) It intrigues Me, even reading the answers here, that perhaps it's more a male issue, then female.

Alright, thanx for your imput.
Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 26

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 12:21:43 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Very well sambamanslilgirl,

you've learned your lesson I guess
thank you for your replies.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 27

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 12:24:55 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

smart move wisteriaV
I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

Thank EeveryOone for their responds on this issue.

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to wisteriaV)

Post #: 28

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 12:40:12 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I am a woman, and I have no qualms in purchasing something I might know that would make Darcy smile. Tokens are given without thought of recompence.

My personal POV is that it isn't so much a male issue, than a social conditioning one and I haven't ever held to sterotypes. A few years ago, I once gave a friend of mine who was both a dominant and who was a good friend of mine, a sum of money to assist him. I never gave it and expected him to repay it. I gave it because I was in a position to and because he allowed it. It was a service I could give him at that time. It never meant I had submitted in any way. It never meant I was his or belonged to him.

People spend money on meeting dominants for the first time when they travel. I don't see a difference in that act of 'opening a wallet'. When a male submissive gifts a female dominant with a tribute that a dominant has requested, I guess I see not difference either.

I did know a male submissive who was unable to find a dominant and had been in such a position for some time. He knew shoes were a weakness with me, and was desperate to purchase me as many and as much as I would spend. I declined, but in discussing it with him, it was obvious he simply needed to have someone control his spending - it had nothing to do with being polite, or caring for me - he simply wanted me to order him to buy, buy, buy.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 29

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 1:26:02 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I've always found it interesting how when it's female doing it-a lot of people seem to excuse a person being a moocher..But god help you if you try it as a male..

Old vanilla double standard?

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 30

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 2:02:25 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

When you hardly know the Dom/me, would you already pay stuff for them,
if they said, they would need something. Is it an issue more for mensubs, who are charming, and feeling the need to show how much they care for Her? (to be a real gentleman) It intrigues Me, even reading the answers here, that perhaps it's more a male issue, then female.

I thought that the answers would read differently from male v female respondents.

I get the impression that you feel as though being willing to open your wallet as a female is not a wise choice. Lately I have had some money problems because my hours at work have been cut back... he opened up his wallet for me. Although we have known each other for going on two years, do you think that he is unwise?

I would definitely open my wallet for him... without a doubt I would. But this is not a new relationship for us, and in my opinion this is the kinda thing that people do for each other that love each other...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 31

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 3:03:13 PM

Honsoku

Posts: 422
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

There is definitely a difference in approaches towards money along gender lines, regardless of which side of the dynamic you are on. Why is it okay for a woman to cook, clean, raise children, suffer, and screw like the lowliest whore for her dominant or master but tendering money is right out? I agree with thedark that this is very much a case of social conditioning. Men are expected to provide and women expect to be provided for. This conditioning is so strong, that it tends to be interpreted in whatever means that supports the dynamic. In other words, the dynamic is stretched to fit the conditioning, and not the other way around.

As to what money has to do with BDSM; money is power. Who do you think has more leverage; the guy working minimum wage at Burger King, or the unemployed multi-millionaire? Money can also represent effort. Let's change the question a bit. Instead of assuming that the dominant is a deadbeat, lets assumes that he is financially stable and has no need for your money, but your money would allow him a few extra luxuries that he otherwise would not be able to afford. Those who were hard set against "opening your wallet", is your answer still the same? If so, how do you reconcile this feeling with everything else that you are willing to do for him? What is so special about money?

Honsoku

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 12/11/2007 3:05:23 PM >

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 32

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 3:15:23 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Guys lets get this straight.. i would never allow total control of my finances!!!! i have to much to lose!!! Especially with females.. But i always treated Ladies vanilla or Dommes and i find some enjoyment to see a smile in there faces.. But NO!! i would never allow them to run my life!! It is of goodwill i would do something and that alone!! If i was to be demanded by Her, The answer would be one that can make them embarrassed...

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 33

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 3:26:50 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

If i had any money i would open my wallet to my Master if he needed the money with no worries of paying me back. Master knows being a student i do not have much money so he does not want me to spend money on him. He already told me not to get him any Christmas presents except for one (actually it was an order not request). I would buy him more that is how i "open my wallet" to him.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 34

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 3:28:51 PM

playfulotter

Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

My Master always pays for everything but a couple times we have gone to the grocery store and he discovered he forgot his wallet and i paid but he always paid me back always. i have bought things on the way to his place (like wine/snacks or things to make dinner) and actually when he asks me how much they cost...i make myself buy part of it and tell him a lower amount...it is only right..When we went to Vegas at the beginning of November though i bought tickets for the show "Zumanity" online and he asked me how much he owed me and i said..i will pay for those..made me feel good.

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 12/11/2007 3:29:46 PM >

_____________________________

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” ― Benjamin Franklin

"Some people are otters, some people are rocks." ~Sheldon Cooper

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 35

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 3:57:07 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

My Dom is the opposite, but only only in the most dire need

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 36

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 4:13:58 PM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Amazing how many financially secure submissives or slaves probably read this and didn't post at all.

Seems the masses with opinions here are all in serious relationships...

(I didn't mean this in reply to anyone in particular)

< Message edited by KarenElizabeth -- 12/11/2007 4:14:59 PM >

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 37

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 4:22:55 PM

MercilessMarcy

Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Every person would have a different answer to this question! Our culture, needs, expectations all dictate how we think about it. I've had slaves want to turn EVERYTHING over to me, they just didn't want to have to make any decisions ever again. I pointed out how dangerous that could be. I insisted he keep his retirement money right where it was, keep his credit cards, put my signature on his checking account and I would pay his bills for him.

Most of the time I think it's appropriate and happier if finances are kept seperate.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 38

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 5:14:24 PM

ravennfyre

Posts: 161
Joined: 6/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarenElizabeth

Amazing how many financially secure submissives or slaves probably read this and didn't post at all.

Seems the masses with opinions here are all in serious relationships...

(I didn't mean this in reply to anyone in particular)

I'm not in a serious relationship...I WAS, however, married to one that wanted me to put my paycheck into a checking account that didn't have my name on. He then would buy cigarettes, pot, porn of his choosing and video games before his family was taken care of. Once was all it took for me.

(in reply to KarenElizabeth)

Post #: 39

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 5:36:28 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

KE, You better hope that not many Dommes would read this subject!!!

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to KarenElizabeth)

Post #: 40

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