RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet for a New Dominant? In the name of Bdsm.

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RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 8:41:29 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

If I had it to give without worrying about recompense I would..but since I do not..for me..question is moot...Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 41

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 8:58:35 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

If i said,the Sir that arsked me to bring a bottle of top shelf(vodka)amoung other things,to a meat and greet,never got very far,you have an idea of how i would feel.
Everyones idea of this would be different,but i know that some Doms do survive of thir subs.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 42

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/11/2007 10:46:57 PM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

If you are asking how long would it take me to buy them a drink then fairly quickly. If I am thirsty and I want a drink then I will ask if they want one too and purchase it, but I would do the same for my best friend, work colleague, what have you. Has nothing to do with them being a dominant.

If its a regular mooching, however, then I will stop. If they never offer to reciprocate then I will stop. Again that standard applies to friends, family, etc.

If by opening my wallet you mean always footing the bill, always paying for both of us, then no I won't. I will go dutch but I won't financially support a Dom. But then I would never get involved with a Dom who wasn't financially responsible (regardless of how large or small his income is). Part of that responsibility is bugetting to make allowances for our times together. If he can't manage that simple task, how on earth can he manage the larger aspects of a D/s relationship?

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 43

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 1:15:32 AM

KarenElizabeth

Posts: 22
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Presents for my Presence. =)

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 44

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 1:37:04 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Amazing it is to see how many people don't read the question right, which I stated.

I asked : How Quick does a slave/sub opends her/his wallet for a NEW Dominant.

Almost E/everyO/one of Y/you are in a relationship, and then Y/you KNOW the person and for Me that's a totally different discussion, although for Me it wouldn't be a discussion then, unless the issue arives, if the slave wants You to take over completely.

This is about when Y/you just met. How long would Y/you wait with such...

Thanx for E/everyO/once imput though !

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 45

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 1:53:49 AM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Amazing it is to see how many people don't read the question right, which I stated.

I asked : How Quick does a slave/sub opends her/his wallet for a NEW Dominant.

My response was in relation to a new Dominant... I would treat them exactly as I would if I was out with friends. If I wanted something small such as a drink, common courtesy dictates I would offer to them as well, and it has nothing to do with them being a Dominant.

If, as I got to know him better, it became regular mooching then the purse would snap shut. They can only be a new Dominant for a short period of time, after that you have to adjust your behaviour or how you view their behaviour.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 46

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 2:46:33 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

i believe if there is a mutual understanding with the parties involved and shared and have shared in the past a trust which is based on the relationship, and provided the parties also share the same corresponding feelings with each other as ofcourse some subs may owe there Dominant some favors and in the spirit of the season that everyone gives something to each other, if the sub or Dominant choses to spend a little extra for the other party then that should be to the discretion of the party that takes the responsibility to do so.. But under no circumstances there should be control of the welfare of any one parties especially if they live apart from each other and handle there own finances..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 47

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 2:54:57 AM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

It's really easy.

You put on a nice red kind of velveteen outfit, pull out your wallet, unfurl one of those ancient scrolls, have a few trumpeteers on each side of you and say loudly to the minions awaiting your every word (with verve);

"I HEARBY open my wallet for a new Dominant, in the name of BDSM!!!!".

Then you roll up your scroll, wave the trumpeteers off and sit back down on your throne.

(Very simple).

(Glad I could help).

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 48

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 3:00:31 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I still believe you deserve a spanking !

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 49

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 3:02:15 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Geez Griswold,
that I didn't think of that..

life can be so simple!

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Griswold)

Post #: 50

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 3:06:51 AM

lalbobbilynn

Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

But of course i would pay for a NEW Dom ......... however, as per my upbringing ....... after that first introduction/meeting it would seem You are no longer NEW now wouldn't it?!? Better order that kobe beef the first go around, becuase i am usually so broke i can not change my mind!!

b.~

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 51

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 5:08:20 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Hey guys!!! Why don't we just throw a party on the one thats going to fork the bills..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to lalbobbilynn)

Post #: 52

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 5:13:38 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Beam Me up scotty!

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 53

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 6:04:47 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Ready to board the spaceship enterprise Hon??? Warp speed cruising will cost You double the fare!!

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 54

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 6:25:20 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

but your buying right?

I'm ready laddie

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 55

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 6:52:39 AM

MasterofScyn

Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

I can barely support myself, let alone my partner. Right now my checks are for the little things (cable, PUD, etc..)and since he gets paid ever 2 weeks, my money is used for inbetween weeks. For food and whatever. But as for just handing my money over... Never. the money I make is mine, his is his. We share the load of things, as it should be in my books. IF my partner was to be a golddigger... well... he'll be in for a shock and disappointment...

_____________________________

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 56

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 8:30:13 AM

fsub4use

Posts: 94
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Assman4u

How about never, unless they are going to split rent or something. Dom, means that he is capable of taking care of himself. If a dom asks for money RUN!!!

i totally agree with this. That doesn't mean i won't pay MY way... but... give my dough away? Hello no, i work too hard for that. And maybe i'm just an old fashioned woman, but i want the Dom to pay for everything. i'm still a woman, and He's still a man. If we lived together, i would absolutely split the bills. But other than that? NO WAY... Being in a D/s relationship does not give me a pass to go against my gut or common sense. If you are asking the question, i bet your gut is talking to you. Listen to it.

One of my (kinky) girlfriends has a rule that she doesn't date anyone who can't pay their own way AND take her out to dinner at a nice place occasionally. i like that rule. Simple, flexible, and clear. \

peace

(in reply to Assman4u)

Post #: 57

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 9:22:15 AM

kesi

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

In my last, vanilla relationship I paid for more of our outings than not, the reason being I was working full time and my boyfriend was a poor student.
If I wanted to do things with him, then I paid, and I wanted to so I did. There was no "he's a man I'm woman about it" I had the means, he didn't,

(in reply to fsub4use)

Post #: 58

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 11:24:00 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Yes, I would. To a point, if as you say he is a new Dominant to me. His salary runs circles around mine, however, our first meeting (after two months of daily, intense, conversing) was out of town at a hotel. I made the hotel arrangements, and ended up paying for the hotel. To this day, I do not know if he simply forgot to reimburse (as he typically reimbursed after that) or if he was seeing how serious I was taking this. I never thought to ask.

Belonging to him does come with its set of expenses - I have purchased toys, hotel, airfare, and meals on occasion. He has also invested time, money, effort, energy, and part of himself in this relationship. I do not keep track of who pays for what. Belonging to him is, and has been, the best experience of my life.

I said "to a point" above, because had he not been who he is, I would not have been so affected by him, and it is doubtful I would have felt comfortable paying for things. In fact, I may have felt resentful.

Nowadays, I would pay for anything necessary. He knows this, but does not take advantage. As has been noted, anyone who is financially secure is not guaranteed to remain financially secure. Having experienced total comfort one moment and total discomfort the next, were he to ever hit me up for funds, my attitude is they are his to begin with anyway. He owns me, he owns my money. However, it is his desire that I am financially sound in my future. I do not foresee him depleting me of that capability.

Money is not, has never been, nor is expected to ever be, an issue between us.

(in reply to kesi)

Post #: 59

RE: How quick does a sub/slave opends her/his wallet fo... - 12/12/2007 12:30:22 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

People are missing a fundamental point here. i think taking advantage a submissive just because he supposed to obey orders is totally unacceptable to me and to GoddessTeaze's advise. Through history men when given the opportunity to be in the company of there opposite gender and especially if they very much had feelings for Her, it is a normal reaction to do whatever comes to there power to cherish that. Unfortunately the term "gentlemen" today has been severely cut down to just 3 words "men" W/we continuously get reminded whenever we need to visit certain places like dressing rooms fitting rooms and loos (toilets).. Some men can take great pleasure to treat a Lady in the perimeters of there budgets and provided they have been appreciated. Under no circumstances that would be considered as taking advantage. As for girlie's statement, dearest girlie if your dominant is financially more secure then yourself and still wants to take your money then his more of a scum to me. If Y/you both live together and take care of each others expenses then it can be considered as sort of supporting each other. But if Y/you live separately and you have to take care of your own i would call him a leach if his insists you having to pay for him, and simply that reflects to the way he cares about you..

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 60

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