RE: Assignments

RE: Assignments (Full Version)

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juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 9:16:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied But Julia, you are a strong, independent person. That makes it even better when you let it go and give that power to another person. That's how I view it, anyway. It's like the corner of my life where I can melt into something (or someone) else. And still feel good about being independent because I know that part of me is also valued. Sometimes it gets pretty tiring being Atlas...smiles

chellekitty -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 9:34:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: today i see to understand rather to be understood... perhaps she see's her dynamic being attacked when people insisted that assignments were part of being submissive? I wish samba would also seek to understand, <snip> you have to read the whole thing....i seek to understand, rather than to be understood i only have control over me and what i can do...i have no control over her or what she does...i disagree with her, completely....i also feel that she attacked others...but i also understand that she felt attacked...i can't do anything about her, i can't make her understand me...however, i can understand her and where she is coming from...and i can let her be where she is at, its no skin off my back, it makes no difference to me and my relationship...does it make any difference to your relationship? i suspect not...let her be where she is at....you can't change it...seek to understand, rather than seeking to be understood....it is a lot calmer place... good luck chelle

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:03:58 AM)
I have done nothing to really try to change her, just expressing my views. It is not the first time I have called her on her intolerance of other people, yet she expects tolerance from others. I allow everyone to be what they are, and I have no illusions that my expressing myself will change her mind, it never has before

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:13:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl why because that's what i see assignments as a daily task for those who need their lives micro-managed to keep them self-motivated - something i don't equate completing my band/music reviews or working the Double Door or Metro to. i don't get a list of "assignments" from Daddy or SO. it might work for other like you however i'm too independent to require such a D/s dynamic. You know, I've often said that I don't need or desire to micro-managed yet I have daily assignments by some senses. Every day I have to study. Every day I have to do chores, back pain permitting. Every day I have to take care of the errands. Every day I have to take care of myself. These are orders - granted I would probably do them anyway but that doesn't take away from the fact that I have been ordered to so. Micromanaging is managing everything, down to what color panties and when you will eat. I agree with Julia, you don't seem to know what it actually means.

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:17:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty you know, i was going to rip sambasis a new one....but by the rules of engagement laid out in the thread where her relationship was attacked and then i was attacked "how can a sub be owned by more than 1 Dom" she did absolutely nothing wrong....she said that it would not work for her because to her that would micro management...you all have taken it way further than that... what's good for the goose is good for the gander.... take care chelle Chelle, you called someone's personal defination of slavery misguided and wrong and told her she shouldn't post it on the board. I have yet to see someone attempt to censor her though we have disagreed with her.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:21:20 AM)
Not to mention I never have attacked samba's relationships once, so this "you all" stuff does not apply to me.

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:23:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 Do you get a lot of assignments if any from your Dominant? Do you like getting assignments? What was the assignment that you found the hardest to do or maybe understand? When I, personally, think of assignments I tend to think something along the lines of homework or papers. Research something or the like. I don't get a lot of those, which is fine with me. However, reading through the thread people have mentioned regular chores as assignments. By that defination, yes I do have assignments. To go to karate, to complete my homework, take care of my health... just routine things. I don't particularly care for them, as I'm not service oriented and don't like chores at all. But I get things done the best I can.

laurell3 -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:30:44 AM)
Ok so...one poster comes on and as usual is intolerant of other's relationships and espouses the superiority of her own. Consider the source, this isn't difficult. However, in response you who are the open-minded ones start infighting? I don't get that. With regard to the OP, I've never personally done assignments although I have given them. Because my daily work life is so variable, having control over my daily life is very important to me and making a promise I will do x when I can't guarantee I will have time for x depending on what unforseen things happen, seems like a false promise to me. I don't see assignments as something that people do because they can't do it on their own or aren't independent any more than I see someone desiring bondage as needing to be bound. Obviously the people posting here are quite independent and capable. I see assignments as structure which I actually wish my life lent itself to more, but it doesn't.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:41:26 AM)
I am open minded about many things, I have never said I was the most open minded person in the world, and I certainly have never said that I was the most tolerant... I can be very hard headed when I believe I am right. No apologies there. And chelle is right about one thing, I do like to be understood, and samba is not really my audience, it is everyone else that reads this thread. On the record as saying assignments do not equal micro management... no matter what one poster believes is the case. and edited to add to you Laurell, if you find my Infighting to be repugnant, you are always free to skip my posts, but I am unlikely to stop posting the way I like, there is only one person besides me that controls the content of what I type here.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:43:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Micromanaging is managing everything, down to what color panties and when you will eat. I agree with Julia, you don't seem to know what it actually means. I agree with this definition. I do not agree, however, with those who view it as something negative, degrading, or intolerable. Some people thrive in such a dynamic; others do not. It is a word that is often used as a way of insulting another's dynamic, for reasons I completely fail to understand. There have been times when my Master has micromanaged me, or particular areas of my life. It was part of his teaching me to manage such areas for myself. As a result, I have thrived, and no longer require such management to please him. I received a great deal of negative opinions from others whenever I would speak of it, as though I were somehow unfit to submit because of it. How in the world my need to thrive was a requirement for others to elevate themselves by subjecting another to insulting judgments is beyond me, but I have come to accept it happens to people all the time, in many facets of life. I see micromanagement neither as a good thing nor bad. It simply is. It is no different than the way a dominant chooses to physically enjoy his/her submissive, or any other thing he/she wishes to do. Each dynamic is personal to those people within it. I no longer give much attention to those who wish to put down others for what they do not find appealing for themselves. Ignorance is ignorance, and those who wish to engage in it are welcome to. As for assignments, I thrive from them. He recognizes that and loves it. Assignments do not create more work for him; they create satisfaction. If satisfying my Master is a bad thing, well then let me be bad! [:)]

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:49:01 AM)
quote: I see micromanagement neither as a good thing nor bad. It simply is. It is no different than the way a dominant chooses to physically enjoy his/her submissive, or any other thing he/she wishes to do. Each dynamic is personal to those people within it. I no longer give much attention to those who wish to put down others for what they do not find appealing for themselves. Ignorance is ignorance, and those who wish to engage in it are welcome to. ownedgirlie, I can see where micro management could have some positive things about it, there was one time I had a micro managing expereince in our dynamic and it almost destroyed me, and us. It is negative to me because of my personal experience, but I do not think it is negative to everyone. Perhaps this experience is still a little raw for me, hence my passion about the topic.... having been through micro management, I know what it is all too well.

laurell3 -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 11:57:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I am open minded about many things, I have never said I was the most open minded person in the world, and I certainly have never said that I was the most tolerant... I can be very hard headed when I believe I am right. No apologies there. And chelle is right about one thing, I do like to be understood, and samba is not really my audience, it is everyone else that reads this thread. On the record as saying assignments do not equal micro management... no matter what one poster believes is the case. and edited to add to you Laurell, if you find my Infighting to be repugnant, you are always free to skip my posts, but I am unlikely to stop posting the way I like, there is only one person besides me that controls the content of what I type here. LOL wow....no, it's not repugnant and I don't seek to control you and I actually did refer to you as open-minded, it wasn't a slight. I was actually concerned that a few people whose opinions I value were in a tiff.....guess I won't go there again [8D]

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 12:02:58 PM)
I am cranky today,I apologize Laurell I have a wrenched neck, part of my "assignment" is to exercise the way he has ordered (getting back to the topic of the thread). He ordered me to stretch certain ways, and I did it wrong and screwed up my neck. I had a neck injury a few years ago, and walled off those muscles to prevent reinjury... now it is the most inflexible part of me. I did not mean to bite your head off.

laurell3 -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 12:04:30 PM)
lol not a problem, I was suprised. Thanks for the apology.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 12:07:21 PM)
To the OP... I suppose stretching my neck is the hardest assignment I have ever done[:D]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 12:15:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: I see micromanagement neither as a good thing nor bad. It simply is. It is no different than the way a dominant chooses to physically enjoy his/her submissive, or any other thing he/she wishes to do. Each dynamic is personal to those people within it. I no longer give much attention to those who wish to put down others for what they do not find appealing for themselves. Ignorance is ignorance, and those who wish to engage in it are welcome to. ownedgirlie, I can see where micro management could have some positive things about it, there was one time I had a micro managing expereince in our dynamic and it almost destroyed me, and us. It is negative to me because of my personal experience, but I do not think it is negative to everyone. Perhaps this experience is still a little raw for me, hence my passion about the topic.... having been through micro management, I know what it is all too well. I can understand that, Julia, as my ex husband was a domineering, micromanaging, bully. Even more micromanaging than my Master ever was, and nearly destroyed me as well. But I know you can also agree that one person's experience is not equivalent to everyone else's, which is the reason I can not automatically assume that micromanagement is a bad thing. It can be good, it can be bad, it can be neither. Using my terrible experience as a basis for criticizing someone, however, is not something I will do. I am not saying you have done this, btw, I am just saying I have no desire to demean what someone else is doing, nor do I give much credence to those who demean the way I live.

ghitaPVH -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 12:21:08 PM)
I used to have a Dom that gave me constant writing assignments...on very specific topics. I hated it. half the time I stole other peoples thoughts off the internet and put the ideas in my own words and turned it in. he also gave me assignemnts of specific numbers of times a day to masturbate and times a day to stick clamps on my nipples for specific numbers of minutes and all sorts of very specific things like what to wear and when to go pee and yea.....Im not with him any longer. My Daddy gives me the occasional "assignments" like..."hey, can you take the garbage to the dump today?" or "hey, I need you to run to the bank for me today", or even "hey, mail this box to so-n-so today". Doesnt tell me HOW to take the garbage, or even how to dress when I run to the dump, or what time I should go to the dump.....but, i guess they are still assignments. very very occasionally he will give me a specific task to compleate, with very specific instructions, but he usually has a very good reason for it.

chellekitty -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 3:45:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Chelle, you called someone's personal defination of slavery misguided and wrong and told her she shouldn't post it on the board. I have yet to see someone attempt to censor her though we have disagreed with her. i'm sorry, i will not discuss this subject with you any further, keep it up and i will not discuss anything with you...i am attempting to be civil and improve my demeanor....which is all i can do....what are you doing? edited to add: i am not trying to be argumentative, this is called "setting a boundary"

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 4:05:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Chelle, you called someone's personal defination of slavery misguided and wrong and told her she shouldn't post it on the board. I have yet to see someone attempt to censor her though we have disagreed with her. i'm sorry, i will not discuss this subject with you any further, keep it up and i will not discuss anything with you...i am attempting to be civil and improve my demeanor....which is all i can do....what are you doing? edited to add: i am not trying to be argumentative, this is called "setting a boundary" What am I doing? Using the correct facts. The whole mess on the "more than one dom" thread got started because you told someone that she shouldn't post her opinion on what slavery is on the forum. That's pretty different than simply disagreeing about what a term means. If you feel the need to not discuss anything with me, that's fine. But I'm not going to pretend that you were attacked when you insulted someone else's defination of slavery and told her she shouldn't post it.

chellekitty -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 4:11:14 PM)
i am not disputing the facts, i am saying they are irrelevant...the reason i brought up the thread was regarding the rules of engagement laid out in them, not the topics discussed in them....thanks for playing... good day

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