quote:

ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill

I'd like to hear from submissives on another angle to assignments. Do you feel it's proper for a potential Dom to give a potential sub assignments when you've known each other for only a few weeks?

Well, I for one think it's ok to ask a potential sub to do things that have been assigned by a potential Dom.  I have been asked to write stories so he can see how i think and to meditate to remind myself to relax.  Also, I was given an assignment to do some research that was purely something he is interested in, completly kink-free... Was I willing to do something just as service to him or did I need the little thrill of the kink?  (I did the research by the way and learned a lot about something that interests him that we could have intelligent conversatins about)
 
I mean I wouldn't do it right out of the gate, but sure a little while into the courtship.  Let's face it, this is part of the dynamic, and if you have a "sassy" sub, and that is a big ole turn off for you, it's probably good to know.  Also, for the sub, if she wants a harsh really strict Dom but he turns out to be all laid back, that's good to know too.  It's one more thing to figure into the relationship information. 

Examples suggested by my former sub:
-- Tell a submissive to shave her public hair in a certain pattern of my choice, take a photo, and send me a pic to show she's complied;
-- Since I enjoy controlling a sub's orgasm, during phone conversations order the sub to masterbate and forbid her to cum until I say so.

There are a couple of times that it can be a problem.  For example, if the girl is considering two or more Doms at once.  One says shave your pussy every day and the other says I want you hairy.  What's a girl to do (I have actually had this problem when I first "came out" and didn't know how to manage my potential relationships).  But I sure did learn how to communicate myself well and to be respectful in how I talk to a Dom.

My gut reaction is that this approach is rather pushy, even for a Dominant, when you've known someone for only a month. My former sub sees fulfilling such assignments as a test of interest on the submissive's part.

Well, it's a BDSM specific method of communicating.  If he asks her to do something as an assignment, and she can't or won't, how will they handle that?  It can be an indicator as to how well they will be able to sort out difficulties. 
 
Because I live in another country/culture, sometimes I have to tell the Dom that his request would not be culturally appropriate.  If he tells me he doesn't care, that I must DO IT, I know he's not for me.  I won't disrespect the culture I am in if I can help it.   If on the other hand he says something like, well here is the SPIRIT of the assignment.... is there a way you can do it and still experience that even if you can't fulfill the LETTER of the assignment.  That tells me that he respects me, my thoughts, and my knowledge of something he doesn't know about.  THAT is really important information for a sub to have when evaluating a potential Dom. 

Of course, once a D/s relationship is established, I expect all assignments to be carried out to my satisfaction. (But I do NOT micromanage a sub's daily life.)

I don't usually think 0 to 100 is a good plan.

Comments, anyone?

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty
...i am attempting to ... improve my demeanor....which is all i can do....