RE: Assignments

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AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 4:19:37 PM)
Chelle, you said you were attacked. You weren't. This isn't a game and there is no need for childish snide comments along the lines of "Thanks for playing". For that matter, nobody has attacked Samba. No one has insulted her relationship. We have disagreed with her on the meaning of a word. That's it. Nobody has told her that she shouldn't post. People have questioned her using a term that is fairly well defined as a management style in the business world and are unsure if it really applies in this setting, as opposed the very fluid definations of the terms that we give our partners in relationships. People disagree on semantics all the time on this forum. It's not new by any stretch.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 4:50:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i am not disputing the facts, i am saying they are irrelevant...the reason i brought up the thread was regarding the rules of engagement laid out in them, not the topics discussed in them....thanks for playing... good day Personally I do not abide by other's rules of engagement... My rules of engagement are simply this, that stating this is my opinion is not a blank check to passively aggressively insult someone and then say but this is just my opinion. That phrase is not a flame retardant blanket to hide behind to me. I wanted to edit this to clarify something, I do not think you say hurtful things to people and say these are the rules of engagement to be passively aggressive towards people chelle.... but there are those that do, and some of those people I have engaged with on this thread. I suppose I have seen this behavior on more than one occasion... thinking that saying this is my opinion does not make it ok to insult another person's relationship, call them names like "whore" or "old Perv" and because you say.. "Its my opinion" doesn't make it acceptable... it is still a bitchy way to post... smug, and superior. Basically I wanted to edit to say this post was not pointed at you, even though I quoted you.

camille65 -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 5:31:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 Do you get a lot of assignments if any from your Dominant? Do you like getting assignments? What was the assignment that you found the hardest to do or maybe understand? In the beginning there were a lot of assignments, primarily writing a fairly detailed journey of my day so that he would know precisely what was going on without having to pull my teeth. It was very difficult for me to open up about a lot of things, he knew that and utilized my love of writing to bridge the gap.I also have problems with memory so I am instructed to write things down, such as when I have a new doctors appointment coming up or that I need to order LP gas. If I don't write I have a habit of assuming I've done whatever it is I need to when in reality I just thought I did it. I still keep my journal, it is something I like to do and it is a way to share myself with people I don't get a chance to talk with often. One friend from CM is a reader. I also have a spreadsheet to track my medications yayyyy lol it makes it so much easier. It keeps me on track and lets my dom know at a glance if I've forgotten something. I love the fact that he reads it every day, that he knows I am thinking of him as I write. Is this micromanagement, I don't think it is. I have the choice of what I wear, what I eat (but not skipping meals) and things like my hair. There have been many threads on d-types that instruct their s-type in make up brands or perfumes. D-types that read their email etc. If that is not considered micromanagement then I really dont see how having assignments would be! [sm=lol.gif] I am a strong individual who adores having a dominant entwined with her so deeply that he is genuinely interested in the minutia of my day. I count myself fortunate actually, to be so loved and cared about. When my jaw hurts too much to speak he can read me. When I'm not feeling well but don't want to verbalise that fact he reads it and knows. It just gives him yet another way to fully know and own me. Yummmmmmmmm.

spanklette -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 5:41:14 PM)
I don't get many "assignments", per se...but, I have plenty of reponsibilities. When I think of assignments, it makes me think of something that I would not normally do given my own choices. Maybe that's just my connotation, but it feels right. My responsibilities are endless as they include doing what I can to make our lives better, but so do His. I can't think of anything that He is immune from doing...'cept shucking corn because He hates the sound. We both cook, clean, do laundry, and take out the trash. I don't see those things as assignments...unless it's doing something that we've sworn we were going to do (spring cleaning, straightening the garage, etc.) If calling taking out the trash an "assignment" rang my bell, I'd call everything an "assignment". Unfortunately, it doesn't change the task so renaming it doesn't suit me. Since it suits others and it works with their dynamic, I don't see the issue. If having tasks and assignments is equivalent to being micro-managed, I still don't see the problem. And, I'm not sure being an independant person and being micromanaged are mutually exclusive in this circumstance. The only problem I can see is if my definitions differed from His.

chellekitty -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 6:46:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i am not disputing the facts, i am saying they are irrelevant...the reason i brought up the thread was regarding the rules of engagement laid out in them, not the topics discussed in them....thanks for playing... good day Personally I do not abide by other's rules of engagement... My rules of engagement are simply this, that stating this is my opinion is not a blank check to passively aggressively insult someone and then say but this is just my opinion. That phrase is not a flame retardant blanket to hide behind to me. I wanted to edit this to clarify something, I do not think you say hurtful things to people and say these are the rules of engagement to be passively aggressive towards people chelle.... but there are those that do, and some of those people I have engaged with on this thread. I suppose I have seen this behavior on more than one occasion... thinking that saying this is my opinion does not make it ok to insult another person's relationship, call them names like "whore" or "old Perv" and because you say.. "Its my opinion" doesn't make it acceptable... it is still a bitchy way to post... smug, and superior. Basically I wanted to edit to say this post was not pointed at you, even though I quoted you. why when i tried to say that for days in the afore mentioned thread was i accussed of being small minded...told to quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist Get your head out of your ass for a change. and told some other things that i would quote but it now says quote: ORIGINAL: shootingstar67 [Mod Note: flaming removed] in that thread where i just wanted somoene to not post why they can't let themselves be called a slave as "salvery is:".... but if we were to go by what Aquatic says...here let me remind you... quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Chelle, you said you were attacked. You weren't. i am just making it up... chelle

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:00:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chellekitty i am just making it up... chelle Forgive me, I usually regard the phrase "being attacked" as something coming out of nowhere. Ahh semantics again! Yes, you were insulted. After you started insulting other people's kink and personal definations by saying they were misinformed and suggesting that they not be posted on the board. So no... I don't see that as being attacked. Sorry that my defination doesn't synch up with yours.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:02:20 PM)
I did not follow that thread, and something tells me I should not venture into that thread.... but I do not adhere to other people's rules of anything... I have one set of rules and they can change 10 seconds from now if the phone rings... I will say that the slave definition crap tends to annoy me, so I stay away from it... I tend to find that people use definitions to glorify how they do things, and denigrate how others do things... such as "M/s is spiritual, but D/s is mental" bullshit. For the most part I ignore it and do what I do. People are welcome to their definitions, but like I said, I will call them on it if I see them using their definitions as a way to smuggly put themselves above others. I love my quote... people often try to negate others by labeling them

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:19:50 PM)
quote: I usually regard the phrase "being attacked" as something coming out of nowhere definition attack 1. To set upon with violent force.2. To criticize strongly or in a hostile manner.3. To start work on with purpose and vigor: attack a problem.4. To begin to affect harmfully: a disease that attacks the central nervous system. I think that chelle's definition is pretty appropriate. I have not read the thread in question, I have crapped on someone's thread before without really thinking about it and then regretted it... people make mistakes once in a while... then there are others of us that are intentionally and smugly just out to be assholes about things. There is a difference between getting carried away, making a mistake, having a judgment error, and insulting people at every opportunity.. From what I have read of chelle, she does not seem to be the type of poster that goes out of her way to be hurtful or clueless or callous.

AquaticSub -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:27:01 PM)
As I said, I usually regard the phrase the way. She did call someone's personal defination of slavery misguided and did suggest that they not post it on the boards anymore. When questioned as to why her personal defination was more valid, she was very defensive and did not seem to realize that she had insulted the other person's defination as much as they had insulted hers - I personally don't think the post in question did insult anyone else's defination of slavery. As for shootingstar's comment... well I really can't blame her considering what was said - which is complicated and involves yet another thread.

juliaoceania -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:31:15 PM)
tangled threads[&:] Perhaps it would be best to let it go? If no malice is intended it seems the best of things to me... but I have been gone and I am not up on all the threads. I still think there is a difference between some of the things said on this thread and honest misunderstandings... I once told someone they had no right to open a thread about abuse and ask if people are submissive because they were abused. There were lots of threads going on about the topic, and I was sick of people saying that submissives are all abused... so I short circuited and was rather snarky about it. In fact it was rather uncalled for. We all screw up

andreaC -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 7:47:03 PM)
My Master does give me assignments, one is to stick to my diet/exercises and one is to maintain good grades at school. I got one hard assignment which Master is helping me to overcome lots of anger and denial so i can accomplish one specific assignment.

allcatsaregrey -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 8:11:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill I'd like to hear from submissives on another angle to assignments. Do you feel it's proper for a potential Dom to give a potential sub assignments when you've known each other for only a few weeks? Examples suggested by my former sub: -- Tell a submissive to shave her public hair in a certain pattern of my choice, take a photo, and send me a pic to show she's complied; -- Since I enjoy controlling a sub's orgasm, during phone conversations order the sub to masterbate and forbid her to cum until I say so. My gut reaction is that this approach is rather pushy, even for a Dominant, when you've known someone for only a month. My former sub sees fulfilling such assignments as a test of interest on the submissive's part. Of course, once a D/s relationship is established, I expect all assignments to be carried out to my satisfaction. (But I do NOT micromanage a sub's daily life.) Comments, anyone? Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink) Les, I personally feel it depends on the situation. For example, right now I am being mentored by a potential Dom who has asked me if I would feel comfortable completing an assignment for him. Because I feel we have a strong level of valuable communication going on, and that I feel comfortable complying with his request, I have agreed to complete the assignment. I agree with your former sub, but would like to modify the statment some: completing a reasonable assignment after a fair amount of communication has been shared (and based on the comfort of the sub) is a good - and telling - test of interest and level of obedience of a sub. Its funny that you mention orgasm control, as that's part of my assignment. Day one, and so far, things are going well... Let's see how I am on day five!

l1z -> RE: Assignments (12/12/2007 9:24:43 PM)
i have the general oversweeping tasks such as "clean the house, put food on the table, etc,etc". However i also, due to suffering from severe anxiety and depression disorders, have what people are terming "micromanagement" type tasks. i'm extremely thankful that Sir cares enough for me to concern Himself with me when i cannot bring myself to eat or to take my meds or to sleep or to get up depending. Micromanagement isn't always a bad thing to have...sometimes its exactly what's required...

DesFIP -> RE: Assignments (12/13/2007 10:13:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mhawk i know it sounds silly but that hardest thing i have that i can't seem to get right is setting the table correctly.my Lord is very particular how He likes it to be set and so far i've just confused where things go but it hasn't been bad enough to cause any discipline. Get a large sheet of paper and have him draw out where he wants the bread plate, etc. Then you'll always have it there to refer to. In general, you work your way inside with silverware; meaning if the first course is soup the outside spoon is the soup spoon, If the salad comes after the main dish, put the large fork outside and the salad fork inside. Dessert stuff goes above the plate, coffee spoon served on saucer. Glasses on the right, bread plate on the left. Back to assignments, no ongoing ones. Just stuff that comes up as he needs it. Right now he's asked me to go look for a notebook he left near the car repair tools. But he doesn't need it till 4:30 so I'll do it later.

BikerDomRealTime -> RE: Assignments (12/13/2007 5:50:29 PM)
I whole heartedly agree with your views on assignments not being micromanagement juliaoceania. As a manger of people for a number of years I quite often gave people assignments. These were what was the end result that I wanted. I left the little details of how they were going to accomplish that up to them. For those not in the know, micromanagement would have been to tell them how to do it, along with what color panties to wear.

Gardenista -> RE: Assignments (12/14/2007 6:08:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07 Do you get a lot of assignments if any from your Dominant? Do you like getting assignments? What was the assignment that you found the hardest to do or maybe understand? When I, personally, think of assignments I tend to think something along the lines of homework or papers. Research something or the like. I don't get a lot of those, which is fine with me. However, reading through the thread people have mentioned regular chores as assignments. By that defination, yes I do have assignments. To go to karate, to complete my homework, take care of my health... just routine things. I don't particularly care for them, as I'm not service oriented and don't like chores at all. But I get things done the best I can. Right. To me, an assignment is something outside of normal routine, maybe something with a specific goal in mind. Like, I wouldn't view the daily dusting or walking the dog as an assignment, but being told to head over to the library and copy some paperwork would be.

kyraofMists -> RE: Assignments (12/14/2007 6:16:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mhawk i know it sounds silly but that hardest thing i have that i can't seem to get right is setting the table correctly.my Lord is very particular how He likes it to be set and so far i've just confused where things go but it hasn't been bad enough to cause any discipline. Celeste had a good suggestion about creating a drawing of a correctly set table. Another option, is to set the table correctly, have him approve it and then take pictures. Print out the pictures and use them to reference when you need to set the table again. Knight's Kyra

sweetstorm -> RE: Assignments (12/17/2007 7:42:52 AM)
I love assignments! The hardest assignment was when He told me to pick a gift for myself. I struggled with it mentally.

TMaster2 -> RE: Assignments (12/17/2007 9:05:33 AM)
I love to give assignments -- I call them tasks, but the intent is the same. I love to test her resolve, see if her "dedication" is equal to the task(s), sometimes test her limits with a task. Mine are usually meant to embarrass or humble, at least to the point of her thinking everyone else just MUST know what it is she's out doing... they rarely do -- I don't require her to flash or anything, although something like walking around in a dress, no panties, arms full, on a windy day might be in the offing... EG

fsub4use -> RE: Assignments (12/17/2007 1:17:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mhawk i know it sounds silly but that hardest thing i have that i can't seem to get right is setting the table correctly.my Lord is very particular how He likes it to be set and so far i've just confused where things go but it hasn't been bad enough to cause any discipline. get it set properly, making sure to get his approval of it, take a pic of how it should be and then post the picture in an unobtrusive place like inside a cabinet, and voila you have a record of your correct table... or rather HIS table... *smiles

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