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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 1:25:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

I don't consider a well thought out and mature debate not submissive. Actually, I don't see a connection between the two at all...otherwise, these boards would be pretty empty.

The truth is, I don't enjoy debating at all. I will offer my opinion and my advice on the boards but when someone comes back and demands I prove my point, I tend to feel attacked and drop out of the thread. I drop out but others who find being pushed into a corner unpleasant may find passing the buck an equally good solution.

I'm exactly this way in real life. I hate competition and if someone attempts to force me into one, I look for the easiest way out. And that may include saying I got a call from an um and have to go. I think that's politer than telling someone they have the manners of a rabid armadillo and I hate talking to them.

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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 3:13:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

Okay, here's the topic...A group of submissives will be discussing a topic and one person will get backed into the proverbial corner and then comes the "that's what my Dominant says."

First, I'm curious as to why the submissive got backed into the corner in the first place. With such different and often conflicting ideas regarding how to practice BDSM, it strikes me as odd that someone would be forced to defend a practice to the point of being backed into the proverbial corner.

Second, I think there are situations where "because my dominant says so" are perfectly acceptable answers. Why do I have to be home at such and such a time? Because my dominant says so. Why don't I use capital letters when I refer to my dominant? Because my dominant says so.

Are there other reasons, could I make a better arguement for why I have to do these things? Sure, I can. If I feel like explaining myself to you. But there are others who don't believe that a submissive/slave needs to know why they do what they do, they just have to do it. I don't have a problem with those relationships, though they may not make for the best discussions regarding BDSM practices.

This really doesn't strike me as omnipotent doms, just subs/slaves who either don't have a need to understand why in their relationships or don't have a need to explain it to you, for whatever reason. I am particularly inclined towards this since you mentioned you see it in real life. More than once I simply haven't felt like explaining myself, in regards to BDSM, religion, personal viewpoints, the book I'm reading, politics, whatever, and dismissed the inquiries with something like "'Cause my dominant said so."

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/15/2007 3:15:45 PM >

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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 3:14:42 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think that's politer than telling someone they have the manners of a rabid armadillo and I hate talking to them.

May I nominate this for the quote of the day? That made me giggle.

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Post #: 43

RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 3:28:25 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

So, is there any point in time when it's okay to ask someone...well, I'm glad he/she/they and you have agreed, but why?

Or, are they standing on some sort of hallowed ground?

In my experience, many people are able to explain to the Nth degree what exactly it is they feel. They can provide, as Arlo Guthrie would say, "color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back explaining what each one was."

It seems to me that far fewer people can adequately explain why exactly they feel something. What seems to happen when asked to explain motivations is that the discussion degenerates into argument and name calling. I imagine this happens because the person has been asked to peer past the curtain and find the Wizard of Oz, replete with big, flashy letters and signs, turns out to be some gnomish individual with bad teeth and hair.

Sinergy

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Post #: 44

RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 4:06:32 PM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

SO....I see this title, and I am thinking FINALLY, a thread about me. Imagine my disappointment.

The Omnipotent Dom

OH... MY... GOD.... I thought the exact same thing.... "Who is talking about Jeff now???"

Cali

I thought it was RON !!

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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 6:12:32 PM

spanklette

Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

Okay, here's the topic...A group of submissives will be discussing a topic and one person will get backed into the proverbial corner and then comes the "that's what my Dominant says."

First, I'm curious as to why the submissive got backed into the corner in the first place. With such different and often conflicting ideas regarding how to practice BDSM, it strikes me as odd that someone would be forced to defend a practice to the point of being backed into the proverbial corner.

Second, I think there are situations where "because my dominant says so" are perfectly acceptable answers. Why do I have to be home at such and such a time? Because my dominant says so. Why don't I use capital letters when I refer to my dominant? Because my dominant says so.

I know that on the surface this seems invasive, but really it's not. It's not like we're grilling people as they enter the room about their practices and hammering gavels when the room gets too loud.

Imagine talking with a group of people and one person saying that the way you do things is wrong. Then when you ask why they believe that you are wrong, they answer, "because my Dominant said so". That's when you find someone backed into a corner (the person that said you were wrong).

And, of course, there are situations where it's perfectly acceptable and even preferable to answer, "because my Dominant said so." Why don't I drink caffeinated beverages after nine? Because my Daddy said so...you really don't want to hear all about my sleep habits or my reactions to caffeine. But, if I said, "You shouldn't drink caffeinated beverages after nine," that would be a different animal and my pat answer wouldn't do.

The easy answer would be to never offer opinions on someone else's situation...but, what a boring evening that would be! We get together for "girl talk" and coffee and to laugh and have a good time...it's a wonderful opportunity to talk with people who know your dynamic, in a general sense. Sometimes an opinion will be offered, but the person offering will be unwilling or unable to discuss the reasoning. Half of the time, it has nothing to do with the lifestyle, just life in a general sense.

To date, we have never broken out the hot pincers or the rack.

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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 6:18:23 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette
The easy answer would be to never offer opinions on someone else's situation...but, what a boring evening that would be! We get together for "girl talk" and coffee and to laugh and have a good time...it's a wonderful opportunity to talk with people who know your dynamic, in a general sense. Sometimes an opinion will be offered, but the person offering will be unwilling or unable to discuss the reasoning. Half of the time, it has nothing to do with the lifestyle, just life in a general sense.

*shrugs* Not knowing the opinions or the group dynamic, I'd still say it's possible that they are simply unwilling to share their reasoning. There are groups where I will state an option but avoid giving my reasoning because while I feel the opinion needs to be stated (say, I think homosexuals should be able to get married), but I don't feel like sharing that I am bisexual or getting into a huge debate about how I don't think any of the moral reasons that have people disagree with homosexuality should be turned into law. I might even have been willing to share my reasoning at first but then once I saw how people reacted to my opinion, decided it would be better not to and back out with something like "It's just how I feel".

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 6:24:49 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

I suppose I should start out by saying that I am a fan of debate and I enjoy debating about almost anything. One of my favorite things to do is discuss the finer points of D/s or BDSM or whatever term you would prefer with others in the lifestyle...it's one of the reasons that I enjoy the boards so much...

Okay, here's the topic...A group of submissives will be discussing a topic and one person will get backed into the proverbial corner and then comes the "that's what my Dominant says."

Now, I can agree that personal decisions should be left to whatever dynamic they happen to be in...but is that really it? Why even discuss philosophies at all? It makes me feel like they've shouted "BASE!!! You can't touch me!!!" at the top of their lungs. And, it drives me up a wall.

Yes, I answer to my Daddy and Him alone, but that doesn't take away my ability to defend an argument. And, it certainly doesn't mean that my Daddy is always right. He would be the first to admit that we both have faults and that our relationship is constantly a work in progress. I love hearing about new and different ways of approaching things or different situations altogether.

So, is there any point in time when it's okay to ask someone...well, I'm glad he/she/they and you have agreed, but why?

Or, are they standing on some sort of hallowed ground?

A dominant is not going to be always right, but he is always going to be the dominant. Right or wrong, his is the authoritative voice in the relationship.

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Post #: 48

RE: The Omnipotent Dom - 12/15/2007 7:42:51 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

To date, we have never broken out the hot pincers or the rack.

And you call it a good time anyway????

Cali

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