julietsierra
Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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First of all, I'll say I was born in 1959. I'll let you do the math.
Ok.. for me, for the most part, it was the movies.
McClintock (1956)
The Quiet Man (Can't remember the date)
and frankly, ALL of the John Wayne movies.
(I loved the girls tied to the wagon wheels while the men discussed what they were going to do with her - or what had been done to her in oblique terms)
And the Vincent Price movies (oooh, those girls chained to the dungeon walls!!)
And of course there were the Clint Eastwood movies - all the spaghetti westerns (I loved the bad guys and how all the women they ravished for some reason were always so frightened at the beginning but later seemed like they were pleased as punch over their ravishment)
And yes, there were books. The one I recall the most was a historical account of the guerilla warfare in the Philippines. (ok, so I'm also a nerd.) In that book, written as fiction, but annotated, was the account of the genitorture that the Japanese used to interrogate their prisoners. In this book they discussed how they'd hook up wires to the genitals of both male and female prisoners and flip the switch. I swear, I got that book out of the library over and over and over and over and o - you get the picture, just to read that excerpt. I used to imagine that the victims in the book were me.
But in my life, I was doing what I was told. I was the good girl who could always be counted on to help out anyone when they needed it - and even if they didn't. I was the one who ran to get coffee and enjoyed bringing it to people. I was the one who, when told what to do, ran to do it as well as I could - almost as if my life depended on it - which of course, it did, at least my sense of self and how good I felt about myself.
In doing what I was told, I met, married and lived a "normal" and expected life. We had sex in the proscribed fashion (I called my husband the king of the missionaries) and I was an appropriate housewife and eventually, mother. And if there was some unease and frustration over something that I felt was missing, I squelched that immediately. Afterall, this was what I was supposed to be doing.
Imagine that! I'm a submissive.
So, while I have to say I didn't discover this until I was about 39, and I'd have to admit that I never actually heard of people discussing this as a natural way of being, I have always been this way - naturally.
juliet
< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/14/2007 3:17:22 AM >
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