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RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 3:49:49 PM

eevin

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline

i was innteresed in bondage before i started high school. And didn't think about sexual bondage until i started HS. But i had noidea there was really anything such as BDSM until i graduated and went to college.

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RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 3:57:03 PM

eevin

Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Uh, you know, there are these things, they are called books, every hear of them?

I read many, many books when I was a young one, since I had these desires since the earliest age I can remember. I learned about the lifestyle through books and then through activity starting at 16.

There really was a world of imagination and thought before computers.

Indeed! We didn't get internet in my hometown until I was 18, a senior in high school. I'd been practicing power exchange naturally for 13yrs by then and aggressively knowing there were words for it and setting out on purpose for between 5 and 7 years... I started reading books and discussing with friends the same age and older and such long before internet was available!

i read things like villains tying people up on rail road tracks, or saw things in cartoons similar to that. But i wish i had known other people much earlier on. It seems to have been a struggle for me for many years to finally find people who are into the lifestyle as anything but a bedroom game. i really hate that i feel like i've gotten 'into the game' so late in life, when i started to give up and just looked for some way to settle down in life. But i'm glad that i did find it all, and that i've gone so far already.

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Plants are simply slow animals.

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RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 3:58:07 PM

GambitLeBeau

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Lancashire, UK
Status: offline

I'm 19 and I've been interested a few years.

I'd had vaguely submissive feelings for a long while, but it wasn't until I was a teenager, trawling the internet, that I understood them really.

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Post #: 63

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 3:59:25 PM

intro2submissive

Posts: 35
Joined: 12/9/2007
From: DC
Status: offline

My mother was in the lifestyle and so I knew about it from a young age.. I realized my submissive state whenever I lost my virginity and became sexually active.
Too bad boys then weren't willing to play around with their Dom side more..

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Post #: 64

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 4:02:04 PM

allcatsaregrey

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/2/2007
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

<blink>

It isn't?

whoops.

Topcat,

If one knew she was being used solely for the purpose of her Dom's pleasure, THEN it would be that easy...

... But plain 'ol missionary style sex? I find knitting more arousing!

< Message edited by allcatsaregrey -- 12/14/2007 4:03:36 PM >

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c.,
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"Domination's the name of the game, in bed or in life, they're both just the same - Except in one you're fulfilled
at the end of the day."

- Depeche Mode, "Master & servant"

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Post #: 65

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 4:38:15 PM

BumbleBee2MsP

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/7/2006
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i was curious about girls when i was 5. relishing any chance to look at or in their panties. Doing this or "play doctor' with girls my own agelasted from 5 to 11. then i had a long and frustrating five years. i had a late puberty, but when it did hit at 16 i had some very disturbing wet dreams about being tied and used by Females. and a couple of very realistic dreams that i could actually remember the taste of the girl in my dreams. i never told anyone aout them, instead, i rejected them as wierd and unnatural. i eagerly saught out female that would help me feel like a normal man.
when i was 18 i had the opportunity to be involved with an older married Woman who taught me to do some things that i had onley heard about. i found that i enjoyed being with a Lady that would tell me what and how she wanted me to do certain things for Her. Especially cunnilingus.
i was in my mid- twenties the first time i ran across BD/SM magizines and newspapers. i was instantlly captivated by Female Domination stories. i have had many special Ladies that i have read about and admired. Who would have ever guessed that the very best that i have been reading about and fantasizing about for over ten years would be found on this site and that i would have the privilege to be collared for the fist time by my long time dream. Reality has proven to a little more harsh then the fantasies i read in the past, but i will always thank Collar me and Mistress Persphone2 for leading me through a door i has only dreamed about.

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Post #: 66

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 4:57:38 PM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

I knew there was something different about me in junior high...didn't realize there was actually a name for it until after college. But I didn't and still don't consider myself "in the lifestyle".

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Post #: 67

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 5:21:52 PM

georgejames68

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/28/2006
Status: offline

My goodness... who are these newbies that speak of learning about BDSM in their teens or on the Internet???? I recall vividly the strong desires and efforts to seduce the girl down the street into bondage and sensual play when I was 6 years old. I wasn't alone either, several of my friends wanted sincerely to join in the fun.

I often, early on, wondered if I were perverted somehow, but never allowed it to deter me from the search for pleasure. Much later came the realization that my fantasies were actually quite common and normal and that there was a name for such a lifestyle.

The Internet came into the picture way later in the game for me, though it did add an interesting element to the game.

I have never given up in my search for new and different toys and the uses for the same and I don't plan to soon, in fact, I suspect that when I die, it will be with a toy and partner in hand, so don't hold your breath waiting for me to stop this "Unwholesome fetish life"!!

Just for the books, as of Jan 14, I'll be 70 !!!!!!!!!! live long and enjoy... ye newbies!!!!!

George

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Post #: 68

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/14/2007 7:21:46 PM

cainssub

Posts: 45
Joined: 10/23/2007
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wow seems like i opened a can of worms, thanks everyone for sharing, this has been so cool to hear everyones stories.....and i guess, yes i did have submissive tendencies all my life but only now in my 30's did i choose to accept and explore them....

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Post #: 69

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 12:30:51 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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cainsub,

Methinks that you just got into a dedicated vanilla life and had no time to explore / as it is for many.

CP

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Post #: 70

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 3:41:31 AM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

Oh, and coming in from the other angle... I've always had a hard time understanding those who don't find they have an interest in PE or BDSM until they are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or up.

I accept it, of course, but I don't understand it.

It's like this. i have been submissive all my life, subconsciously looking for my Dom/Master and getting all confused because the nice guys seemed too much like push-overs and the rest were jerks. It was not that i didn't know i had an interest, it was that i didn't know the terms nor what the lifestyle was about. i grew up in several small towns in the mid-west. Even now, internet service to my hometown is spotty. i didn't know anyone who had a PC until i was in college -- they were new and very expensive!

So while it is easy now for the younger generation to learn about these things, it was quite a bit harder for someone in my generation. i started to crave certain aspects of it five years ago but couldn't act on those cravings. Having the internet now has been a god-send because now i can look this stuff up.

i remember snickering over a key -chain in high school "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!" and not buying it because my family would flip. Also keep in mind that the only exposure to kink any of us (those in the HEartland in the 80's) had to kink was going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show when a theater was brave enough to have a midnight showing.

i've done a search, out of curiosity, of people on CM who live in my home state and there are depressingly few, with only two or three organisations and all those located in the only two large cities. In order for us old fogeys to GET the information about wiiwd, there has to be some access to it. And there just wasn't.

Thank god for the net or i'd still be wondering what i wanted and thinking there was something wrong with me for wishing i could be tied up. i might still be wondering if i hadn't stumbled across a fic where Mulder becomes Skinner's sub (fanfic is wonderful!).

Anyway, i hope this answers at least part of Your wonderings and musings. For many of us, it was a lack of opportunity to get the info and find out we weren't crazy or sick.

g

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 71

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 9:33:01 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

Thank you for responding, but what you said really raised my same questions... My first D/s relationship started in 2nd grade, when I knew absolutely zero about any BDSM or PE relationships in the world. It was just the natural way of interacting with that person. I grew up in a village of 900 people and no internet (and some areas still don't have electric or phone) until I was a senior in high school (and then only one computer in the school)... but was happily tying up lovers in my teens and tying up and/or being the dominant in my relationships starting well before my teens. It was just a matter of keeping adults, who would disapprove, and sometimes the other kids or partners from knowing my motivations.

I can understand not knowing the special words or that there is a large scene across the world of this... but how do you reach the age of 13 and wonder if there is something wrong with you or if there are others like you out there? Much less adulthood?

Why didn't you think "This is how I am and what I like, regardless of what others think or do"? At 13 I definitely knew what I liked, how I was in relationships, and was being quiet and secretive about pursuing it because it was absolutely not acceptable to mention such things... there was never a question of "am I sick?"... I was just me.

I realize I may be coming across aggressively in some manner because others may mean questions like these that way... Please understand that that is absolutely not the case with me, I'm asking you these questions because you were so nice in responding before and I'm hoping you'll be open to answering my wonderings! :)

Why did you ever think there could be something wrong or unusual about you for your desires? Why didn't you just know from childhood who you were and very carefully and quietly seek out those who wanted similar things and whatever books you could, when rarely possible? Why did it take seeing something online to make you feel comfortable with it or pursue it more?

I grew up -despite the ways of where I grew up- thinking that if I liked something, someone else in the world did, too... on any subject... because none of us are truly all that unique haha!

It's the same lack of understanding I have for females who wonder if their vulva looks right or if their breasts are unusual because they are slightly different sizes (these are both things I got asked often when doing sexual education in my early 20s and see around regularly still)... these questions never occured to me when I was growing up and I had no one to ask as such things weren't talked about... Instead, I grew up physically and of course that's how it was supposed to look because that's the way it developed. There was never a need to ask or wonder... I'd never seen the way an adult vulva looked, I just assumed mine was as it should be because it was mine... just like with my relationship tendencies.

That no one else mentioned having such tendencies and the cultural climate was one of "sex doesn't exist" and "anyone different is bad/sick", just always meant to me that I had to keep my mouth shut around the close-minded majority. But I never wondered if there was something odd or wrong with me, why did you instead of assuming there was something odd or wrong with everyone else?

For example, when I realized by accident one day that I liked being choked at times I just started wondering how I could talk someone into doing it on purpose without upsetting them... there was never a thought of "am I alone?" or "is there something wrong with me?"... it was just "I like that... how do I talk to ____ about it in a way that won't freak them out?". LOL! :)

Again, please understand that I am not being at all abrupt or judging in this. I admit I'm likely being quite nosey, though, haha. :) I really appreciate your earlier response and any answers you feel like giving to my questions. Thanks!

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Post #: 72

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 12:38:03 PM

PrettyNYkitten

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I was thirteen when I read "Venus in Furs," "The Story of O," and many of the works of the Marquis de Sade. Some of us read everything under the sun, and we educate ourselves more quickly.

I found "Venus in Furs" in my father's library, and it excited me immensely, as did the other novels.

Caitlin

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Post #: 73

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 1:40:22 PM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

Fair questions, Rumpus. i was an unusual case in many ways.

my 'sexual education' started when i was six and consisted of real rape by the time i was 11. i repressed any sexual desire through my teen years. Any urges i had at all made me feel 'bad'. i chalked it all up what had happened to me. i didn't start the sort of exploration most teens do until i was in college and then i kinda went crazy.

i was the little girl who wanted to please everyone. The teachers' pet, grampa's fishing buddy, the one who ran errands for the neighbors. i was submissive and always have been. This may be why i was singled out for attention by my abusive father as my sister was not and was left mostly alone.

So i guess you could say that, while my nature hasn't changed, nor have my urges, my understanding of them has.

Add to my life an 18 year marriage to an abusive man (looking for that Dom, as i said before, and finding a jerk instead). He tried some stuff, tying me up and such but it didn't excite me then. Our relationship was not an exchange so the activities didn't feel right. Also, wanting to do anything too 'dirty' was sure to be thrown into my face the next time we argued, so i didn't dare suggest anything.

Five years ago, he went to jail and i began many long years of celibacy. After some time out of his sexual influence, my urges came to light and i began to dig on the net.

Fanfic was my first introduction to it. There was a heated debate in one fandom over whether one character would allow another to be so 'abusive' as to let him use domestic discipline. i had no clue and was sure no one sane did that. More time and many erotic stories later, i learned a great deal about the concept of BDSM and realized that i always identified with the one getting spanked, or being tied up or being made to have sex.

i have only bloomed into my full potential in the past year. After i made the conscious decision to end my marriage, i felt freedom i literally have never had. i had the chance to try things and to see if they appealed to me. i was very fortunate that my first attempt to find a Dom led me to the man who would become my Master. He is very patient and careful with the minefield that my past has left.

i don't mention the abuse to get pity nor do i allow it to affect my life any longer. This was just to explain how i could go so long without understanding a basic facet of my nature.

Oh, and i envy those who found books they could thrill to... small town libraries in the Bible Belt don't even carry decent sci-fi, let alone stuff with any kink in them.

g

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 74

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 1:57:42 PM

aftershox

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

A newbie at the shockingly "old" age of 30 something? LOL

I am 53 and proud to admit tht I am a late-bloomer. It has been just over a year...

The newness of it all keeps me feeling young. Ponce de Leon has nothing over Marquis de Sade.

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Post #: 75

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 3:26:06 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

I can understand not knowing the special words or that there is a large scene across the world of this... but how do you reach the age of 13 and wonder if there is something wrong with you or if there are others like you out there? Much less adulthood?

Why didn't you think "This is how I am and what I like, regardless of what others think or do"? At 13 I definitely knew what I liked, how I was in relationships, and was being quiet and secretive about pursuing it because it was absolutely not acceptable to mention such things... there was never a question of "am I sick?"... I was just me.

While i am in complete agreement with your earlier statement- not being able to understand people who "discover themselves" late in life- you completely lost me here

To me, it always just logically followed that if everyone else did one thing, and i did something else, i was obviously the "wrong" one.

Then again, it probably didn't help that i was in college before i finally found a date

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Post #: 76

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 4:05:27 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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I think a lot of people lie Unless your were eighteen or nineteen. or exposed through your dads playboys or penthouse. the INTERNET was not big until the mid S
Most did not even have a PC until then. I know for fact that most of the stuff was underground.
Unless you where 21 and could get into a sex shop then you did know jack. The only other way would have been through people doing stupid things will not get into that It is forbidden on any level. So I take people with a grain of salt and go what ever lie your ass off lol

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Post #: 77

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 4:09:36 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I think a lot of people lie Unless your were eighteen or nineteen. or exposed through your dads playboys or penthouse. the INTERNET was not big until the mid S
Most did not even have a PC until then. I know for fact that most of the stuff was underground.
Unless you where 21 and could get into a sex shop then you did know jack. The only other way would have been through people doing stupid things will not get into that It is forbidden on any level. So I take people with a grain of salt and go what ever lie your ass off lol

I used the library in the 70's, 80's and mid 90's before I got on a computer.

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Post #: 78

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 4:13:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I think a lot of people lie Unless your were eighteen or nineteen. or exposed through your dads playboys or penthouse. the INTERNET was not big until the mid S
Most did not even have a PC until then. I know for fact that most of the stuff was underground.
Unless you where 21 and could get into a sex shop then you did know jack. The only other way would have been through people doing stupid things will not get into that It is forbidden on any level. So I take people with a grain of salt and go what ever lie your ass off lol

When I was six or seven we had a computer. We got the one of the first versions of AOL and I was surfing from day one. Didn't take me long at all to find information, it was actually easier than then now. There weren't a lot of "You must be 18 to enter" to screens at first.

But obviously, I'm lying.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 79

RE: omg in their teens? - 12/15/2007 4:16:22 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

when I was 11 or so, there were a few of the Gor books in my local library- on the Science Fiction shelves...

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