Till when are you a submissive, and when do you turn into a doormat ?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Till when are you a submissive, and when do you turn into a doormat ?

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Till when are you a submissive, and when do you turn in... - 12/14/2007 1:21:20 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

To Me this is a grey zone.
I treat My subs always with respect,
and wouldn't want a doormat in the first place.
I don't like to see them, and will tell them too!

But how far will you go for your Dominant?
And when are you turning into a doormat?

There is a huge grey area, in which use and abuse lay close by.
In the name of Bdsm there is allot done, which in My eyes, isn't correct.
So how do Yyou see this?

Thanx already for Yyour opinion.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

Post #: 1

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 1:28:55 AM

LittleWench

Posts: 265
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline

You have turned into a doormat when you start feeling like one? The question is so subjective to personal tastes that there is no definitive answer. There are plenty of s-types that take wayyyyy more "abuse" than I would and love it. Likewise I am sure there are some things that I love doing that others might consider a hard limit.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 2

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 3:36:20 AM

courtneycakes

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I'm not sure what anyone elses def. of a doormat is, but when I think of a doormat, I think of a sub/slave with absolutley no personality and self-respect whatsoever. Someone who has no zest or anything. No opinions, no backbone, nothing. Just a doormat. You can kick them around, abuse them, step on them, completely dehumanize them, and they have not a care in the world. Not because its out of love, but because of low-self esteem. The feeling that if they are their own person, they might not get accepted by a Dom.

Or maybe its something completely different. But thats my take on it.

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 3

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 4:05:27 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Many people say 'doormat' like it's a bad thing.
Like any orientation, ya get your positive and your negative.
I have known some 'doormats' that rocked and who were pretty stable mentally, they just knew what they wanted. And they were pretty sexy at that.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 4

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 4:40:21 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quite honestly, i'd say i'm more a doormat in my vanilla marriage than in my submission to Daddy. in my marriage, i am taken for granted, not listened to, expected to accept certain things (and yes, i choose to stay, so i'm just stating facts, not asking for advice or commiseration)...in my submission to Daddy, i am expected to tell him what i'm thinking, what my reactions to certain things are, and to speak up if something isnt right.

i've more freedom in my submission than i do in other areas of my life. as i said, those are my choices and i accept the consequences.

kitten, thoughtfully

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 5

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 5:07:05 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I will go as far as he tells me to. His morality prevents him from intentionally harming me or Alandra, so we do what we are told.

Webster defines doormat as "one that submits without protest to abuse or indignities". To me, something is abusive if it is harmful. According to this definition, I am not a doormat and will not be one, since he does not abuse me. From an outside perspective, it may appear that I am a doormat already. I submit to his will without protest and I am very happy and content with my life.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 6

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 5:14:45 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

But how far will you go for your Dominant?
And when are you turning into a doormat?

if (and that's strong hypothetical IF) they wanted a doormat, they would have sought for one and not collared me. they are not in the habit of changing me into a "doormat" when needed. they like me to stay the way i am now - sassy, opinionated, independent, strong, etc etc

doormats are only good for wiping the snow, grime and salt off my Nikes

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 12/14/2007 5:15:05 AM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 7

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 5:17:15 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

This one's really very simple. If you're my bitch, you're a devoted slave who gives her heart and soul to her master. If you're someone else's bitch, you're a doormat.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 8

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:21:57 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

I prefer to think of myself as a welcome mat.

Submitting to galoshes however, is a hard limit.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 9

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:26:37 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I know you've to be very strong, as a submissive, to not let this happen to you, and ofcourse its personal, what one considers a doormat, and what others
just considers being a happy sub

I understand,...
it's just...
so grey.

B safe

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to LittleWench)

Post #: 10

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:29:41 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Yes courtneycakes,
I agree, that's how I picture them too,
and I'm so not atracted to them,
and will tell them that.
each to their own I guess,
or what it is that they want to be treated like that.
yes I agree with the lowselfasteem too..

Wwe can't change the whole world now can Wwe?

thank you for your imput.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to courtneycakes)

Post #: 11

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:31:29 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

hello the dark,

I never met a happy doormat...
so I can't relate.

thanx for your imput.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 12

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:48:37 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

I really admire you
for being so honest adoracat.
And the fact you so well know how it is in your relationships,
and you're able to handle that.
I truly have respect for that.

It's a choise, after all.

I wish you enough!

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 13

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:53:05 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

sounds that you've a healthy relationship goin on
kyraofMists !!
good on you hon.

B safe

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 14

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:54:36 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

doormats are only good for wiping the snow, grime and salt off my Nikes

Too funny !

thank you for your comment, sambamanslilgirl.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 15

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:57:20 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

Now that doesn't sound respectfull
....

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 16

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 7:58:56 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

as long as your happy chiaThepet,
then Im too.

goodluck

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 17

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 8:21:28 AM

liminalRapture

Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

For me, I have some very strong opinions. When I had a more political profile (where I said "No Republicans") I'd get these neo-cons who clearly thought I was stupid and ill-informed and they would set me right. One of them I actually met, and he was the most vile human being I've ever met (published my personal info on Craig's List with my phone number saying I was into violent rape scenes... why any man would do that is beyond me--all that does is make less women likely to swim in the kinky waters, but I digress), anyway, he spent the first 20 minutes of our date explaining why global warming wasn't happening. He expected his clarification to be taken and then told me I was really submissive if I didn't agree with him!!!

There is a more subtle level as well, which is that I have needs. I know that I won't decide when or how they are met, but anyone I'll actually be with needs to make sure they are met. One of my 'hard' limits is that whoever I'm with needs to keep an overall eye on my 'bounciness' (which I define as confidence, optimism and joy) when he is pushing me really hard, and if I have less bounciness over time, then we can't go in that area. wiitwd can't numb me out or bring me less joy in life.

_____________________________

"Ring the bells that can still ring. Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 18

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 8:34:22 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

To Me this is a grey zone.
I treat My subs always with respect,
and wouldn't want a doormat in the first place.
I don't like to see them, and will tell them too!

But how far will you go for your Dominant?
And when are you turning into a doormat?

There is a huge grey area, in which use and abuse lay close by.
In the name of Bdsm there is allot done, which in My eyes, isn't correct.
So how do Yyou see this?

Thanx already for Yyour opinion.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

I think doormat is too subjective of a word. Also, I cannot really concentrate on your question because centering the question and the pretty blue script looks like you are writing poems.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 19

RE: Till when are you a submissive, and when do you tur... - 12/14/2007 11:44:30 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

I think doormat is too subjective of a word. Also, I cannot really concentrate on your question because centering the question and the pretty blue script looks like you are writing poems.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

I do write poetry :D
Nice of you to notice.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 20

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