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controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 2:33:51 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		just looking for some ideas on how to control a sub who for the most part is obediant and well behaved, as long as she is spanked regularly - however, occasionally she infers or implies that she may be going elsewhere for discipline and sex - in all honesty I dont want to stop her having her fun and enjoying experiences but I also dont want the delicate balance of Master/sub to be upset. Should I as Master ignore her transgressions and just punish them when I see her, or should I actively involve myself and control what she must do and not do with these other people - and still punish her when i see her of course!
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 3:16:57 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Well, if this is just a part-time M/s relationship.  Meaning that it's not an exclusive relationship, you should only enforce the D/s dynamics when you are spending agreed upon time together.   Outside of that she may be somebody else's.

So unless it's agreed that it's a one-on-one relationship, or that you have primary or full ownership.

Really this is an issue you should talk with her about, and figure out between the two of you.

Sure you could take X person's advice, but it may be the wrong thing to do. 

(in reply to rizzle)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 3:44:16 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Are you a "cuckold Master"? Are there times when she doesn't want to be "beaten" because she is nursing wounds from somebody else? When you kiss her, do you ever taste dick in her mouth?

Just my opinion, but I think "the delicate balance of Master/sub"  has already been upset.

I hope this helps.

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Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 3:57:38 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		hehe - well certainly not cuckold master but probably laid back master. sub in question is young... she has stated she wants me to be her exclusive master but young girls, they dont know what they want...i told her "we will see" and i have a feeling these suggested "transgressions" are ways of making me jealous.
she never gets beaten by anyone else and has in fact only transgressed once for which she was hugely regretful and recieved sufficient punishment.

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:05:00 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		A sub telling me that if I don't beat her more or fuck her more, or give her more attention, or she will get her needs met elsewhere.... well...I would love her, fuck her and give her plenty of attention...all the way to the door.

Or, if you found it pleasing, you could be her convenient, though lacking, Master that "allows" her to do who & what she wants, as long as you get to say you "own" a sub.

Did I hear a somebody say "Topping from the bottom"?

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:07:14 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rizzle

hehe - well certainly not cuckold master but probably laid back master. sub in question is young... she has stated she wants me to be her exclusive master but young girls, they dont know what they want...i told her "we will see" and i have a feeling these suggested "transgressions" are ways of making me jealous.
she never gets beaten by anyone else and has in fact only transgressed once for which she was hugely regretful and recieved sufficient punishment.


Well Hell, her ass is yours.  Personally, I'd be actively involve myself and assert control where control is needed.   Wait I just reread this... She wants you to be her Exclusive Master... however you did not agree to this... so she's trying to make you jealous into asserting full control as her Exclusive Master?

I think I am reading this correctly.  If so you need to make up your mind what you want?  Do you want to be her Exclusive Master and with it the control?   This does not sound like it's an issue about her submission, but rather an issue of accepting her submission and being the Master she is looking for.  Perhaps I'm wrong.

< Message edited by Owner4SexSlave -- 12/14/2007 4:08:32 AM >

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:25:54 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		oldbastardly, would you mind keeping your fantasies about me being a cuckold to yourself?! they arent helping and you are jumping to conclusions - i never said that my sub has said any of those things. perhaps this is something happening or has happened in your life that needs addressing?
anyway, i guess i have to decide if i do actually want to be her exclusive master - im not convinced thats actually what she wants so im waiting for her to "prove" her worth and prove that she is capable of serving me and me only. i have given her permission to receive some punishment and a fucking from someone else, under the proviso that if she does so I will do the same - I have another slut wanting to meet with me next week.

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:30:10 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		LMAO. If it quacks like a duck, waddles like a duck and swims like a duck....would that be a giraffe?

BTW, skippy, saying you are a Dominant doesn't make you a Dominant.....to be one, you have to *BE* one.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:32:08 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I will agree with OldBastard all the way......someone is looking for a sail thru the living room window, and it's up to you rizzle, but when your best friends start referring to you as cockbreath......well....

Get the picture?

Ron

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 4:49:01 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		lol fair enough chaps - im very new to all this, although the best advice seems to be coming from ownerforsexslave, and yeah i have to decide whether i want to accept her submission. i think i have to, lol we have been leading up to this point for nearly 4 years!

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 5:23:14 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Ummm...if you want some help controlling your nympho sub, just send me an e-mail.

(in reply to rizzle)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 5:35:56 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		Have you met her in real life yet?

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 5:44:01 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		have i met her in real life? yes, we play most weekends and/or during the week - ive even been to hers and had dinner with the folks lol

(in reply to desertdancer)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 5:52:59 AM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I have to admit I've read this thread twice now, and I just don't follow you.

You say she has "transgressed" but YOU are the one giving her permission to get what she wants elsewhere.  You then mention punishing her for it..hello way to confuse the poor girl.  You either want her for yourself or you don't.  That's up to you.

I find it very unfair to punish behavior you give permission for.  How is she to learn to..what was that you said, 'prove her worth' if she has no clue what your wanting from her. 

This is your fault as much as it is hers, if not more.  If you want to be the master, it's YOUR job to be in charge and set the rules.  Not be wishy washie then be all "she's a nympho" when she goes out to meet someone else because YOU told her it was okay.

I'm not trying to be mean here, but if you can't give her the strictness she seems to want, and you give her premission to getit elsewhere, then... that's what's gonna happen and your gonna be out one sub. 



Edited for kindness

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 12/14/2007 5:54:42 AM >

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:01:32 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		thanks desert and i see your point - it gets a little complicated right about here though. her transgression was AFTER she said she was going to be mine exclusively. so, yes basically she cheated, although this was literally in the first few weeks of us doing anything, we were barely even "seeing" each other, but the point still stands - I have trust issues with her. she admitted, she said sorry a number of times and told me it made her realise how much she likes me blah blah and i agreed to put it behind us, after a bit of a playful beating (that made me feel better lol). NOW, me and her are both sluts, we love sex and we dont want to just have sex with one person. were not quite sure how to work this one out, but my policy with her since her transgression is to let her have her fun, but to have only one Master, me. In all fairness, and this may go against what you all decide to be "Domness" but I had one hell of a time exploring my sexuality throughout my 20's and in a way i dont want to take that away from her. although maybe she wants me to.... i dont know. I do see what you are getting at Desert and I think I do need to be more consistent with her. Just not quite ready for anything particularly heavy at the moment.

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:02:18 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Count me as an echo to Old Bastard and Ron.  If she were to threaten me to go elsewhere unless I did as she wanted, I'd help her pack her belongings and drive her directly to her intended destination (or at least call the cab and provide fare.... I'm just that kind of thoughtful guy).  Then I'd have myself a good laugh, knowing what's in store for the next guy.
 
Demanding spankings?  That would just make me a life support system for a spanking machine... an inanimate object of no more value than the vibrator in her dresser drawer.
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:05:15 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Put her in a chastity belt until the next weekend you can see her again. Then don't play with her for the weekend. At the end of the weekend, tell her that her next "transgression" will get her two weeks in the belt.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to rizzle)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:12:59 AM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		I am confused by the differing statements made in each post made by the OP. I was most surprised when he said that he "...had one hell of a time exploring my sexuality throughout my 20's....". I would have bet money that he was a teen....but I am old and my perception is skewed.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:17:06 AM   
rizzle


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		lol perhaps you should delve a little deeper before jumping to conclusions you old bastard ;-)

(in reply to OldBastardly1)
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RE: controlling a nympho sub! - 12/14/2007 6:18:48 AM   
MistressUltimate


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/27/2007
Status: offline 		I agree with Old Bastard and think that anyone else who has a clue about how D/s work will agree as well.
Calling yourself  'Dom' and aquiring a 'sub' doesnt make either of you anything but amateurs playing at something you may not be fitted for and may not even like once youve finally grasped the concept.
Let me qualify my statement through several points.
1/ Someone whos dominant by nature DOES NOT post personal probs on a chat forum and ask for suggestions on how they can deal with it.  They sort it out between themselves and if they cannot and the dom is incapable of dealing with it,  then the ( D/s) relationship is at an end until they or he can.
2/ Theres not a lot of point in saying that the 'sub' has already done something so is it OK if I let her do it, so I can still pretend I'm her Master/Dom. Errrrr right ! Twoo dom or wot?
3/ Only a total wanker would let his 'sub' dictate to him and blackmail him.
4/ Either the sub is very young as you state and you are NOT very young, in which case, I advise you to try to aquire an older more experienced sub who can maybe teach you the rudiments of how to act, or you are BOTH very young, in which case Id still advise you to aquire the older sub etc, cos at  the moment you really do need some help.
We were all new once and if we came into the lifestyle early we probably all did some pretty stupid things and knew 'nowt'.  Negative feedback should be welcomed as a tool to learning and growth, so dont be discouraged.. Learn from peoples comments and THINK about what youre going to do in the future. Talk at length with others who have a lot of experience.  Maybe you are both switches? All good dom/mes observe and store knowledge.

< Message edited by MistressUltimate -- 12/14/2007 6:32:36 AM >

(in reply to desertdancer)
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