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stella41b -> RE: My two impressions of America (12/15/2007 10:11:19 PM)
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Thank you all for your kind words, expressions of support, etc. I speak for Halley and myself, we are both deeply touched and it IS helping us get through this.
I'm coming back in on this just to give people an update. I just wish to add the following points.
For anyone who may think this is contrived or made up I really and genuinely wish it was. I'm taking no pleasure nor do I feel any sense of enjoyment out of doing what I feel I have to do right now. I would much rather be in Mississippi with Halley and her family preparing for Christmas and spending time with them and others in this part of the United States, I would much rather be meeting with people who could have given me the necessary information and support I needed to assist and support a future visa application with the US Consulate in London, I would have preferred to actually see the damage done by Katrina with my own eyes, spoken with the people personally and learned from them the exact situation of what I would be getting myself into and where I would be able to help. However this is not to be.
At the moment I am responding to people, lots of people on both sides of the Atlantic, people who have expressed their support and sympathy and generously offered support and help. I am aware of all this and very much appreciate it, and would ask these people to understand that I am aware of these offers and to be a little patient.
I am working on my response. My response is to make a statement of facts about me, my life, and what happened not just during my time in the United States but also during the time leading up to this period. I intend that my response will be in the form of an affidavit and therefore I intend to swear by the facts given in my response. Once this is completed it will be presented along with a copy of the US immigration officer's statement given to me as justification for his decision to refuse my entry to the United States and also copies of my defaced passport. All of the above will be presented to the US Embassy in London, the Foreign Office, and to other interested people, including the media for public information. All this will be later made available on my website with photographs of my passport.
I wish to apologize for my earlier comments regarding the Bush administration and wish to withdraw and retract any previous political statements I have made as I do not see this as a political situation and have no wish to make this a political statement in any way. I am not a politician and have no wish to be a politician, I am an artist and see my own political views as being my own private affair as I view the political opinions of others and respect their views as the same, even where they differ. I honestly believe in democracy in the literal meaning of the word.
The facts are, and my response will show them to be, as follows - on Dec 13 I flew from London Gatwick into Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport with the intention of flying on to Gulfport/Biloxi regional airport in Mississippi with the intention of spending Christmas with Halley and her family, or our family, and of gathering information necessary to support a future visa application to return to the United States in 2008 to continue the development of my relationship with Halley and her family and to rebuild my life as planned in the United States in accordance with US laws, statutes and visa requirements for immigrants. I was dealt with in a manner which was abusive towards me by officials representing the US Border and Homeland Security agency, who also misled me and lied to me, they also misled and lied to Halley's family, and refused my entry to the US on the basis of inaccurate assumptions and lies based on the information I gave them in good faith. The basis of these allegations was a direct challenge to the identity assigned to me by the UK Passport Agency and a refusal to acknowledge my UK passport as a legal travel document.
The harrassment of people who do not conform to society norms - not just transgendered people like myself but also and including people of a different sexual orientation, people who choose to live differently and people who are unable for whatever reason to provide for themselves - is not a problem which is exclusive to the United States but happens in every country in the world. My treatment at the hands of the US authorities is but one example of hundreds of thousands of such abuses which happen every day all over the world. My being a TS female therefore is purely coincidental. Who knows? Had I joined a different queue at Atlanta Airport the results might have been very different, none of this would have needed to be written and we would not be having this discussion.
I therefore stand by my earlier impressions and refuse to view what happened to me in Atlanta as a reflection of the American people and would ask all Americans reading this not to feel any sense of shame or guilt as to what happened. The only victims here are those who choose to be victims, I refuse to be a victim because of what has happened, it is just part of my gender reassignment process and I accept it as such. However I also stand by my earlier impression which is the form of government employed in the United States is a barbaric one which does not respect the rights of the individual - whether they be American or non-American - and I feel that what has happened is a wonderful opportunity which can be taken to seek a change which I feel is necessary in society not just for my benefit, but for the benefit of everyone else who has ever suffered the sort of injustice which I have suffered.
Let us not overlook the most basic and fundamental issues here - the basic human right of someone to be who they really are, to live in the manner in which they choose to live and to be a happy, productive member of society and to live their life with the people they choose to share their life with. Let us not forget that it just wasn't my rights which were denied in Atlanta, but also the rights of Halley, a US citizen who exercised the choice to invite me to the United States for Christmas and to further develop our relationship to create a happy family.
I didn't choose to be a TS female - this is how I was born and who I really am, and who I am diagnosed as by various medical professionals. However I chose to be a playwright and stage director, and it is a career which I have developed through hard work, through a lot of personal sacrifice, and more importantly, through my previous achievements in Polish theatre which have been documented both in the Internet and in the Polish media. Since the start of this century I have predominantly supported myself from income coming in from my work as a playwright and stage director, and in my previous 10 years of artistic work in Polish theatre this income has come more from people who were prepared to pay to see my work than from funding from government bodies. Almost all the funding raised as a result of my work has gone to benefit other people as opposed to me.
It is important to remember that two years ago in Poland I was an established member of Polish culture prior to my downfall through coming out publicly as myself and choosing to continue to pursue my chosen occupation as who I am Stella. This excluded me from society and caused me to become homeless and to seek assistance from organisations in the United Kingdom. Have I claimed and received benefits during my time here in the UK? Yes I have and I feel no sense of shame or guilt in admitting this, it is assistance and help to which I was entitled and I have made use of such help and assistance to help me rebuild my life. But I have also worked voluntarily to help those people who were worse off than me and to help them rebuild their lives also.
Two years have passed in my life and these have been very difficult years, but during this time I have worked hard to reestablish myself and work towards integration into society as my true self, i.e. female. Now either I can back down and give up everything I have worked for in these two years and accept that I am unacceptable as a person to society and continue to live my life in a Housing Association apartment in London and continue to live off welfare benefits at the expense of the taxpayer but I see this as to me an unacceptable way of living and would rather drop dead than live in this manner.
Or I can choose to stand by everything I have ever done in my life and to take up the fight against those who would rather exclude me from society and keep me in poverty and living off welfare benefits and assert my position in society to live in a manner equal to other people - I refuse to accept that me being a TS female or a playwright and stage director makes me any different to anyone else - in that I wish to work in my chosen occupation and be a part of a family, I wish to have an income and to pay tax like everyone else, I feel I have a lot to offer people in society and this is the sum total of my efforts to date - an offer which is there to be taken and made use of for the benefit of other people.
I would rather not have to fight for these rights but to be allowed to live my life peacefully with my family and to earn an income as a productive member of society. However we don't live in an ideal world, nor is society ideal, and it just so happens that this is the way my life is. I see no sense in forcing issues with people nor in trying to live where i am not needed and not wanted, but am merely working to relocate to a place where I am needed and wanted and where I can live as not just myself but a normal, happy, productive member of society working for the benefit of other people.
I have therefore been placed in a position where I have to fight for these basic fundamental rights. Okay, so this is the situation and I accept this situation - I am refusing to back down, I am refusing to give in, and I'm making a decision here and now to dedicate the rest of my artistic career as a playwright and stage director to this fight and this struggle - not just for myself but for the benefit of everyone. These are my words and once this posting is posted here on this forum these words will stand, and I fully intend that each and every one of these words are backed up by actions - and I would ask anyone who chooses to support me and join me in this struggle to also be prepared to back up their words with actions. As quickly as possible I would like 'my' struggle to become 'our' struggle.
What is this fight and struggle about? Before last week I honestly believed that this would be to share my experiences in overcoming the effects of losing one's income and livelihood through social injustice to help other people in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana to overcome the loss of their livelihoods and incomes as a result of Hurricane Katrina through my work in theatre to help them find a new future. This has now changed - this is now a fight against social injustice and intolerance, a fight against poverty and a fight against social exclusion.
I refuse to accept welfare payments as a justified means of fighting poverty when in fact in reality it only maintains and encourages poverty and makes the issue of poverty and I also refuse to live anywhere in this world - be it the United States or any other country - illegally. Therefore I stand by my original plans to enter the United States legally as an immigrant in accordance with the statutes and laws decided by Congress and to work with anyone to help those less fortunate to find the opportunities to rebuild their lives and rejoin society as active, happy, productive members of society living as themselves openly and living freely in the lifestyle they choose to live without fear of hostility, prejudice or social exclusion.
People have asked me and Halley how they can help. You can all help in a way which doesn't require much effort and which doesn't cost you anything. I don't have a magic wand, I cannot perform miracles, nor am I superhuman, but just the same as everyone else. I am assuming the same is true for everyone who reads this. Social change happens as a result of hundreds of thousands of people, even millions, accepting a particular way of thinking or seeing things from a different perspective.
This is all I am ssking - I will leave it for each of you individually to choose whether you wish to adopt such ways of thought or to choose to see things from my offered perspective.
Firstly, we need to accept that poverty - like it or not - exists in society and that there are people who through circumstances beyond their control are poor and who are living off welfare payments. There are people in this world who cannot provide for themselves or their families as we are able to. Secondly we have to accept that this may not be the fault of the people themselves who are poor or living off welfare, but it could be as a result of the inadequacies of the system. Therefore rather than choosing to look for and blame the person living off welfare, we need to look at the system which finds it acceptable and tolerable to have so many people living in poverty and living off welfare. Sticking people in trailers and giving them welfare isn't an acceptable measure towards rebuilding a society devastated by a major hurricane, just as an example.
Similarly immigration laws need to be crystal clear and applied fairly to everyone. Again rather than assuming it is the fault of the immigrant we need to perhaps look at changing the system so that immigration requirements are clearly spelled out and that immigration laws are enforced.
Thirdly I feel we have to accept that the basis of modern society is diversity. Rather than looking at other people and deciding whether they are acceptable to society or not maybe we should be looking at our system and deciding whether this is a system which benefits society as a whole. A respect for the rights of an individual, irrespective of where that person was born, what colour or tone their skin colour is, the manner in which they choose to live, with whom and why is of paramount importance in modern society - provided of course that they live in accordance with the law and do not seek to harm other people or their property.
If you feel ashamed or guilt for being American, for example, you need to ask yourself why you feel such shame and guilt. I see no other reason for anyone, whether they be American or not, to feel any sense of shame or guilt other than for being aware that they live in a society or system which makes them feel guilty or ashamed. It is no more acceptable to feel guilty or ashamed for being American than to be, for example, to feel ashamed and guilty for being gay or transgendered. Again if you feel ashamed or guilty for being who you are then maybe you need to speak out and protest against whatever is making you feel guilty or ashamed of being who you are.
This is where I feel we have gone wrong - we are afraid of speaking out and protesting and making our views known, and yet we accept injustice and intolerance shown to others as something which is inevitable. It isn't. It isn't even acceptable, and yet we accept it. Why?
We are told we live in a democratic society and have freedom, but every day we come across evidence which suggests otherwise. Words without actions are meaningless, and I feel it is about time that the words those in power use to win our votes are backed up by actions which we can see and learn to believe in.
These are the fundamental values in this fight and struggle I am undertaking. Please feel free to join me.
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