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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 1:43:11 PM

MercilessMarcy

Posts: 80
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

Newbies often wonder just how far their submission should go, in public and private. Any sane, open question gets treated fairly here.

We are all different, and looking for our match.

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 1:48:49 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageSlaveMN

This all depends on the nature of the sub/slave. Those who seek to be "subblier" than all the rest most certainly should conduct themselves in a submissive way to all persons posting on the boards. Then again, if they are really all that submissive, why are they posting at all?

I think the average sub/slave (including myself) that frequent this board are of a different opinion. I think most of us are submissive to one person or a select few. Take me for example, a currently unowned slave. I am submissive to no one because no one is my Master. Being submissive in a BDSM sense is different than be a submissive person. I have no problem asserting myself here while submitting to a person in real life should they earn the right to dominate me.

As far as doms are concerned, again it depends on the dom or really the arrogance of the dom. A sensible dom will not have problems asking questions of others whilst maintaining their role as dominant. An insecure and arrogant dom, on the other hand, will ignore the wisdom of others at the expense of stunted growth in their capacity as a dom.

I totally agree. The first underline represents what irks me about certain posters who seem to be going for the Golden Globes of Submission while the second underlined section is something that is so obvious, you would think it would not have to be stated.

I can understand what BitaTruble said about someone being instructed to post "submissively", but again, that is so foreign to me as a person that I could not relate to a person who has to be instructed on how to communicate.

Edited because whenever I try to snip a post somehow I screw up the boxes, damn it!

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/15/2007 1:49:58 PM >

(in reply to BondageSlaveMN)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:05:54 PM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Recently I've seen quite a few posts that seem to say if a person that identifies as a submissive posts on these boards and/or has an opinion that they feel strongly about they are not submissive

We are talking about grown people here who know how to live their own lives, right? Pay the rent/mortgage, call a plumber, stop when the light is red and surely they know that taking a bath ispreerable to never bathing??
Then why the hell cant they have an opinion?
Even if what one writes is dumbed by others...either you get your feelings hurt and run like a scared rabit or they shake off the sarcasm, cymicsm or judgmental gaff and go on with being a human being born with a brain.

or in the alternative, if a Dom/me posts on these boards asking for advice is it somehow an indication they are lacking as a Dom/me.

My Sir couldn't find the broad side of a barn if driving to a neighborhood like mine, does that make him a mornon for asking directions?
My Sir has relatively little knowledge about a singletail, but he could write the plot to a rape, gangbang and captivity scene that would make ya'll wish you were in it.

Since when is meekness and humility weakness??

Do you believe this is true? Is a submissive and/or slave, in your opinion, required or should they be required to submit to or change their personality to suit the D types on a message board?

If a D type on these boards wanted to dumb me...many have done so, so be it. I know who I am, they dont and if they think they do, they are dumber than a door knob. Besides I could be a 9 yr boy, just graduated from college and have more common sense than Ron or any other self proclaimed DOMINANT. The message boards should pose no threat to anyone...
But if you find yourself changing to fit anothers perspection of what they think you aught to be like.... I'd shake my head and ask why you didnt get to a shrink.

Does asking for advice on a forum indicate to you that someone is less of a Dominant? They are human beings with or without common sense, IQ's that span from 50 to 200, an education of some sort, smarter in one thing more than another..... not gods who are labeled dominant

How is that? A human being farts, pees, gets the flu and gets dressed in rags or whatever.... why do labels make who we are??

Sir's (he is my man, I am his woman)
devoted (I am faithful to him as a man and only him ~~ as he is to me)
property (he is the Garderner, I his flower and he pulls weeds as he needs, rests as he needs, prays for rain if its dry, fertilizes, and protects his own hands with gloves if he wants to.)

BTW BDSM, D/s roles and forums are only words that we give meaning to...our own meaning.

All IMOHO cause I can and want.

< Message edited by Sirsinini -- 12/15/2007 2:06:17 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:18:53 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
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Ok, since people seem to be thinking I'm asking because I want to change my approach on the forums to suit others, let me tell you my opinion on this subject.

I have no desire to change how I view or express my viewpoint of the world for anonymous posters on an internet board. I would be more likely to be one that's criticised for being harsh than being silent and I honestly don't care with a few exceptions for friends here. While I attempt to modify my approach to be reasonable, there are things I feel strongly about and I'm sure that is apparent.

I don't believe I am less submissive because I have an opinion on a forum. The only two people that determine my level of submissiveness or appropriate role are me and my partner. I think people can be rude, insensitive and sometimes just clueless. I'm sure there are times when I am also, however, I don't believe it has anything to do with roles. People post here, not roles. I don't personally believe that one has to have a certain personality to be submissive and I believe that is really what people that criticize for posting on a forum and saying "not submissive enough" are saying.

With the exeception of what Bita posted, which is a good point, some are directed in how they should post, I believe that people (not roles) have opinions and I believe the purpose of a forum to openly discuss those opinions. I find usually those that make the "unsubmissive" or "undomly" comments are usually insecure or personalizing forum responses that are not personal.

I think it's wise for new Dom/mes to learn from others. One way of doing that is to ask questions on a forum as long as you consider the source and measure the responses with your own common sense. I think saying asking for help is "undomly" is ignorant. Dom/mes are people, not just roles.

Again, my questions are intended to be open-ended to promote discussion, I'm not asking for advice on how I should post. I want your opinions on how you view roles and forum postings.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 12/15/2007 2:19:42 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:20:21 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
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Oh.......hush up and act submissive...........

Jeff

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:21:47 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Oh.......hush up and act submissive...........

Jeff

I dare ya to come here and say that!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

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Post #: 26

RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:24:52 PM

Jeffff

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Ok ..I actualy agree with you.but I didn't want to seem un domly...............:)

Jeff

The Omnipotent Meta Dom

I will be wating for your address...on the.......otherside..:)

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 12/15/2007 2:25:55 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:42:59 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Oh.......hush up and act submissive...........

Jeff

I dare ya to come here and say that!

Want the knife back?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:46:25 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Ok, since people seem to be thinking I'm asking because I want to change my approach on the forums to suit others, let me tell you my opinion on this subject.

laurell3, there is not a snowball's chance in hell that anyone would ever think YOU would change your approach. You are one of the more refreshing and upfront chicks around here.

Now, go kick Jefff's meta-Domly ass.

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:47:42 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Is a submissive and/or slave, in your opinion, required or should they be required to submit to or change their personality to suit the D types on a message board?

Nope. I stay away from groups and situations where that would be the social norm for the very simple reason of unless you own, I don't give a damn how you expect me to behave.

quote:

Does asking for advice on a forum indicate to you that someone is less of a Dominant?

No. However, not asking for advice because you fear how it will make you look or refusing to accept that you need the advice does, IMHO of course.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:48:22 PM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Oh.......hush up and act submissive...........

Jeff

I dare ya to come here and say that!

Want the knife back?

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to IrishMist)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:50:03 PM

laurell3

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ok you loons stop making me derail my own thread to respond....go to "the other side"!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:50:48 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

ok you loons stop making me derail my own thread to respond....go to "the other side"!

LMFAO

It's too scary there...

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:51:14 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

ok you loons stop making me derail my own thread to respond....go to "the other side"!

Eh, some of us can multitask multiple thread postings!!

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 2:55:25 PM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Obviously, I don't believe any of that is true. Though I do sometimes wish that people would rediscover some element of privacy, discretion, and shame. But I accept that some people feel a need to share to a degree that far surpasses what passes as "reasonable" to me.

John

First to your OP...i totally disagree with those.....A submissive that answers assertively or even with a bit of a 'tude, doesn't make them less submissive...i am a person who could tell someone to F**K off without a problem if they caught me at the wrong time or in a way that made my flight/fight instinct come about (choosing a bit of both in there)....i would NEVER say that to my Master though...and that i think makes the difference. i'm submissive to him and him ONLY...and i do my best to be polite and respectful to everyone else but i'm not a doormat.

As for Dominants asking for advice, i think it shows strength and character to ask for advice when they don't know something. i believe this to be true no matter which side of the kneel you may be on....

As for the part that Rover brought up that i quoted you here...i personally don't start alot of threads, and if i am struggling with something that is more deeply personal or may show my Master/Daddy or our relationship in a negative context i won't post about it.....this is just respect and courtesy for my Daddy especially since he doesn't post on or read the boards, i just don't think it would be appropriate.

When i am struggling, and come through to the other side of something that is when i may post or put my two cents in about it.

That brings up another topic of how much we share about our personal relationships on a forum that I didn't include in this one but have thought about asking before just to get a feel for what the general thought is on it.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 4:21:41 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Recently I've seen quite a few posts that seem to say if a person that identifies as a submissive posts on these boards and/or has an opinion that they feel strongly about they are not submissive or in the alternative, if a Dom/me posts on these boards asking for advice is it somehow an indication they are lacking as a Dom/me.

Do you believe this is true? Is a submissive and/or slave, in your opinion, required or should they be required to submit to or change their personality to suit the D types on a message board? Does asking for advice on a forum indicate to you that someone is less of a Dominant?

I wrote a thread when I first started posting here that kind of addressed this topic. I noticed that a submissive would post an opinion, and then a dominant would state the same opinion pages later, and then everyone would quote the dominant person and ignore the same perspective seemingly expressed by a submissive posts before. If this had occurred once I probably would not have noticed it, but it occurred over and over again, leading me to think that back then submissive perspectives were not treated with the same weight as dominant ones... this has changed significantly around here, at least from what I have noticed... hopefully it will not return to being that way.

There will always be those who believe that a submissive's view is not as valid as a dominant's, and there will always be those that think that anyone who reaches out for help is weak... in my opinion anyone that does not use whatever resources they can to learn more and to do a better job at whatever they endeavor is weak minded and insecure..but that is just my opinion

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 4:35:29 PM

MRandme

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How about "Submission is in the eye of the beholder"?

i tried posting on the Gorean forums for a while... evidently i am not slavish enough for them. *shrug* Their opinions don't really matter, as i please my Master.

How we relate to each other in submission is meaningless. Am i more submissive than someone who calls themselves a sub but lives with her Dom and serves Him daily? How can that be measured? There is no scale, no ruler, that can give a precise calibration of submissiveness (or domination, for that matter.)

i will be who i am. Sometimes that person is quiet and vulnerable, sometimes mouthy and abrasive. i may unintentionally offend through ignorance (if i am being intentionally offensive, there will be no doubt in anyone's mind that it is intentional) or appear to be completely brainless. Doesn't change my subbliness a bit. Doesn't change who i am.

The way i see it, we are all here because of a very human need to connect with others like us. That means asking questions, telling stories, sharing opinions and experiences. Doing any of that does not make us different than who we are (less Dominant, more submissive, etc) and should not alter others' perceptions of us.

Only my Master can gauge my submission. Only one of His slaves/subs can gauge His domination because we are the only ones to have experienced it. And if it works for Him and it works for me/us... what does it matter to anyone else?

g
(who was sure there was a point to this post but cannot be sure what it was any more....LOL!)

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to daddyncherry)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 5:06:16 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
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I think you made your point and it was a very good one.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to MRandme)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 6:50:37 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Recently I've seen quite a few posts that seem to say if a person that identifies as a submissive posts on these boards and/or has an opinion that they feel strongly about they are not submissive or in the alternative, if a Dom/me posts on these boards asking for advice is it somehow an indication they are lacking as a Dom/me.

No, i think it's more likely the reverse is true.....
i have strong opinions on just about everything....which is why i am such a bitch to dominate.....
and some of my good friends who are doms are really just the most enquiring, advice seeking friends i have.....
inside a dynamic it's different
PS I am not in a dynamic with a bloody forum

(in reply to laurell3)

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RE: BDSM, D/s, roles and forums - 12/15/2007 6:55:10 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There will always be those who believe that a submissive's view is not as valid as a dominant's,

Oh how deluded is that? anyone would think that the construct dominant could exist without the construct submissive.....they are two side of one whole.......

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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Post #: 40