Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Other states


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Other states Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Other states - 12/16/2007 10:32:26 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		i have noticed that most people who have D/s relationships that start on line are involved with people who live in other states. Why is it so hard to find one in your own city? i found this to be the rule. Everyone who lived close to me was not for me. My Owner lived about 200 miles from me. Which is relatively close compared to some that are out there. i wonder why that is. Does anyone else find this to be true for them?

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 11:16:57 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		It is certainly true in my case.  I'm not a typical sub...I'm more service oriented.  I'm not a masochist, I don't like to be beaten or CBT, and I'm not willing to open my wallet for anyone as a sign of "submission".  Plus, my extreme fetish for rubber is an aquired taste, so few dommes actually enjoy it or have experience with it, especially down here in south Louisiana.  That is why I had to dramatically expand my search range.  I'm so glad I did...I found the most wonderful domme a subby could ever hope to find.  Now we just have to make it through the distance thing until She can move down here.  Thankfully, She is willing to work for this just as hard as I am

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 11:21:22 AM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		When you finally do move in with each other and set up house. there is no greater feeling in this world. i use to hate cooking and cleaning, etc. Now i love it.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 11:36:48 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Probably the same reasons vanilla folk date people in other states through an online service.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 11:49:49 AM   
zhouwuatsien


Posts: 60
Joined: 8/28/2007
Status: offline 		I think people just feel safer when the other person is far away, when you live close there's an initial fear and even pressure of meeting eachother because you're so close.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 12:05:50 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, Master is from California, he came to Northern  New York to be with me after about 6 months of us living coast to coast. Its been worth it!

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to zhouwuatsien)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 1:09:42 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		local dominants weren't interested in a submissive like me, wanted play partners, were married/committed to someone else, or were looking for submissives who don't come with attachments (UMs) - take your pick.




_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 1:23:10 PM   
Decimus


Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		You find people that connect with you from wherever they happen to be. Its not a trend or a fact its simply where you meet them. The reason the "facts" may be skewed from online is for the simple fact that online you find a larger group of people who are interested in the same activities as you. As they say, you have a much larger pond to find the right fish as opposed to your local area or city.

_____________________________

Here is my story that some people have asked for, www.beginningofdreams.com

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 1:53:22 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Perhaps, because living in the times in which we live, a small thing like geography shouldn't be a barrier when attempting to find what You truly seek.  Think of it this way, if you had a substantial inheritance check some several hundred miles away, and you had to physically claim it...would you declare the distance was too much???  If something as fleeting as money can provoke one to travel...how much more so for true intimacy and perhaps love?
(gosh, i'm a sap)

(in reply to Decimus)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 2:08:08 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

i have noticed that most people who have D/s relationships that start on line are involved with people who live in other states.


Well, in addition to what others have said, often when people start out online it's because they don't know of or don't have a local scene so hunting partners online follows naturally... and being that a match can then be anywhere on the planet...

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 3:54:52 PM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

Ironitulstahp wrote if you had a substantial inheritance check some several hundred miles away, and you had to physically claim it...would you declare the distance was too much?

Depends.  Is the cheque in Nigeria, the Ivory Coast or some similar location? ;-)

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 4:16:06 PM   
forg0ttenclone


Posts: 62
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		I wasn't so much looking for a Dominant at the time i met my Goddess.  However; much the same as you mentioned, she is not located in the same city.  She's roughly a two hour drive away (at speed limit).  So it's not as bad as two or three states away.  I'm close enough that if She needs me there right after work, i can be there in no time  I can then drive back in the morning for work.  I was never able to find a Dominant locally (thank god). I now belong to an amazing Goddess for whom words of praise are not enough.  I cannot express how truly grateful and lucky i am to have met Her.


_____________________________

Pete


"I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains have tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine!"

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 6:00:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Probably the same reasons vanilla folk date people in other states through an online service.


What she said. And you're far off here. Same state, adjoining regions. Of course anywhere in the NYC region, distance isn't the question, drive time is.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Other states - 12/16/2007 6:34:41 PM   
goodgirl08


Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline 		I guess the scene is not exactly huge in my state. I've seen other collared female subs on here, close to my age, who name their Doms in their profiles. I look them up and their Doms are halfway across the country. I guess I got lucky with Boston!

But, there is a fairly active (non-online) scene in my part of the state that I would have gone on to check out if I had not met Master first. I was just too nervous initially to go to such an event by myself, especially because I am young and the type of person people love to prey on, lol.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 6:46:36 AM   
Imajican


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/6/2007
From: Lincoln, Nebraska
Status: offline 		I've yet to be with anyone local or even within 200 miles. My not-entirely-BDSM-oriented husband moved from CA to NE, my female sub moved from OR to NE, and if I'm so fortunate as to have it all work out, my boy will move from the UK to at least the US, if not NE also. That one is by far the trickiest since he's in a whole other country. There are some locals who've shown interest but far more often they're looking to cat around on their vanilla spouse which isn't something I'm generally too hep on. That and there's the fact that I live in a pretty conservative state so those who are into BDSM tend to be Doms with femsubs or at least monogamists of which I'm neither. Of course we don't plan to live here forever, but it's where we are for the time being.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 7:26:17 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I've always believed that is in inverse relationship between attraction and distance.
I don't know why this is.  Certainly there are local, attractive, attainable, compatible people, but I don't know where they are hiding.
I also think that sometimes people just talk and click and then they realize, well there is pesky issue of geography.  And what do you do at that point when you think there may be something worth investigating?


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Imajican)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 9:55:16 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I searched out of state because I was looking for a 24/7 severe power exchange relationship. This is difficult to find let alone when also matching up all the other huge amount of things that makes two people compatible. For me personally it was about expanding my choices to give me the best chance at success.

If I was looking for less severe or just play type things I would not have been so open to expanding my search to far and wide but like you wrote your local area was not much of a selection for your needs.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 10:35:15 AM   
Imajican


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/6/2007
From: Lincoln, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
I also think that sometimes people just talk and click and then they realize, well there is pesky issue of geography.  And what do you do at that point when you think there may be something worth investigating?

I think as long as prople are honest leading up to meeting then things will hopefully go well. When you reach the point where you think it's worth investigating is when decisions have to be made about who is going where and all those technicalities. I guess part of what it is with me is that I find things when I'm not really *looking* so the fact that X lives 1500 miles away (or 4000) doesn't really matter at the time.

Once you get so far in and things are going splendidly it's hard not to want to meet since it starts to hurt that people aren't together even when they've never actually been together. It's somewhat odd to try to explain to somebody how you can feel a void in your daily life when the person that fills that void has never, in fact, filled it. I've felt that with the boy several times as he has with me.

Overall I think as long as people are honest and want the same things, it can work out. Some people just have to work a lot harder to get there.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 12:23:59 PM   
Ryugen


Posts: 69
Status: offline 		I'm traveling across the Pacific Ocean to collar someone. It's funny really, this whole getting together across long distance is so unlikely to happen if it wasn't for the internet. Perhaps many years ago, before the internet and well established international travel, people made more compromises? That also makes me wonder if people did not look as deep into others to try and find 'the one' back then.
Distance is no longer such a great barrier, and I think it's awesome that people from different cultures and upbringings can find love in each others hearts.

_____________________________

I live, and am learning.

(in reply to Imajican)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Other states - 12/17/2007 12:44:02 PM   
Peridot


Posts: 78
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ryugen

Distance is no longer such a great barrier, and I think it's awesome that people from different cultures and upbringings can find love in each others hearts.


Said beautifully!  

I see it as freedom to find a best match. With travel and communication today, why limit happiness?  I don't see it as negative. It's opportunity! 

Please do think positively.  

(in reply to Ryugen)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Other states Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094