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Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 11:52:27 AM   
richbtch24


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How many of you find intelligence as an attractive trait to have in this lifestyle? And I do not necessarily mean in relation to "how much you know about the lifestyle." More along the lines of someone that can be grammatically correct, doesn't make a lot spelling errors (when online receiving emails). Also when in r/t, someone that is well spoken and is "well kept."

Personally, I have been accused of not using paragraphs but that was because I felt this was more of an informal place of discussion. I have since changed that because I am realizing how irritating things like this can be. Simple things even like the differentiation between "you're" and "your." I myself am not an English professor but I feel that to me this is an important trait that many do not carry.

I have also found that those who do have an English/literature background also tend to be more creative in r/t (as I do not prefer online play).

My quesiton is this...whether Dominant or submissive...when looking for your other does intelligence rank highly? A simple yes or no would be sufficient. If unsure, details?

Just my usual,

Rob
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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 11:59:05 AM   
MistressFire70


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Intelligence in those that serve me is a must. I just couldn't handle anyone stupider than me. ;-)

Fire


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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:03:23 PM   
IronBear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFire70

Intelligence in those that serve me is a must. I just couldn't handle anyone stupider than me. ;-)

Fire


I couldn't have written it any better. So YES!

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:06:22 PM   
caitlyn


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I don't put much stock in how well people post, or write in general. I know some pretty smart people that can't spell worth a damn.

Intelligence in a relationship is sort of a must with me. Being basically evil ... I have a bad habit of trying to mentally dominating any guy I'm seeing. It takes a smart guy to put up with my bullshit.


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I wish I could buy back ...
the woman you stole.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:07:17 PM   
Veav


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Well, now... time for semantics!

There's linguistics, command of grammar and spelling and the ability to express oneself with words.
There's maintenance, someone who is well-groomed, employed and takes care of themselves to a reasonable extent.
There's experience, "how much you know about the lifestyle".
There's civilization, whether or not you can be courteous, respectful, polite, and in general not be a dick - even if you think you can get away with it.
There's wisdom, both common sense and being able to grow and adapt to things that conflict with preconceptions.
And there's intelligence, which is the hardest to define because people want to lump all of the above under it.

I don't care about experience, I appreciate linguistics, I respect maintenance, I actively encourage civilization. In these categories, when looking for another... the most important? Wisdom, I think. The wisdom to recognize you're wrong and accept that others may be right. Ultimately, everything else can be taught so long as you can take that first step.

Of course, if I can knock off a few more categories - that determines the difference between "accepting someone's presence", "making a new friend", and "please whip me harder". }:D

Edit: whoops! I thought this was self-evident, but realized it wasn't. Let's tag on a category above wisdom as Numero Uno... stability. Being sane. One of the more rewarding arrangements I've made in the last few months was quite simple, we both agreed on one important thing - "No drama." Best verbal contract I've ever made.

< Message edited by Veav -- 8/18/2005 12:20:27 PM >


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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:15:00 PM   
betticus


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Stupidity is a very unattractive trait to posess.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:23:33 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


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In order for me to become intimate with someone, they need to be "very intelligent"

And yes, it's completely biased on how I perceive their intelligence and no I don't have a solid rubric for how I define "very intelligent"

They need to be a lot of OTHER things as well, but if they aren't "very intelligent" as I perceive it, then it doesn't matter what else they've got, we aren't going to be intimate.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:26:13 PM   
Nuke718


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OK I am a horrible speller, and my grammer OL is just like it comes out of my mouth (which is to say bad also). On the other hand I have a huge spoken vocabulary of words I can't spell and have studied telecommunications, computers, and mechanical/nuclear engineering.

So for me, I let people online get away with spelling/grammer as long as I can get the jist of what they are saying. And I don't equate experience and intelligence, as the one certainly doesn't require the other.

But as for your original point, Intelligence is one of the BIG 3 for me. The others being Sense of Humor and Honesty. I don't require a woman to have a Mensa card, but I appreciate her being able to carry on an interesting and engaging conversation about something.

Nuke }:-

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:36:58 PM   
ItzKat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24

Personally, I have been accused of not using paragraphs but that was because I felt this was more of an informal place of discussion. I have since changed that because I am realizing how irritating things like this can be.


The inability of those to communicate well has always been an especially irritating to me. I refuse to even respond to anyone that doesn't bother to take the time to write a nice, well formatted letter. But that may just be me. I know that most of the kids out there don't bother learning to type/write correctly because it is so cool to be illiterate and lazy. (UR instead of you are, etc.)


quote:

I have also found that those who do have an English/literature background also tend to be more creative in r/t (as I do not prefer online play).


Could this be because they spend more time reading and improving their own imaginations instead of being spoon fed from the TV?

quote:

My quesiton is this...whether Dominant or submissive...when looking for your other does intelligence rank highly? A simple yes or no would be sufficient. If unsure, details?

Just my usual,

Rob


YES!

Kat

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:37:07 PM   
thelight


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i don't give a damn about grammar, spelling, punctuation and other such minutiae. little nitpicky things don't usually turn me off.

intelligence, on the other hand, can be extremely sexy. you don't have to be intelligent to be sexy. (thank god for that, because there aren't that many truly intelligent people out there. if intelligence were a prerequisite for sexiness, i might have a hard time finding someone who turned me on). nor will intelligence make someone sexy who otherwise isn't. but if someone who is attractive also happens to be intelligent, her intelligence will exponentially increase her attractiveness.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 12:39:41 PM   
Faramir


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So - who was going to say: "I like 'em dumb! I prefer dumb, hot broads - hey wanna chat?"

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:06:33 PM   
domtimothy46176


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

So - who was going to say: "I like 'em dumb! I prefer dumb, hot broads - hey wanna chat?"


ME, me, me!! Send me all the dumb chicks with big hooters! Especially if they're rich and can suck-start a harley!! lmao

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:08:17 PM   
CitizenCane


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Intelligence isn't all it's cracked up to be. In my humble opinion, a lot of the people who claim it's important don't exhibit many signs of it, and might not recognize it when they see it. The things people cite tend to be evidence of schooling, training, native verbal ability and just 'not-way-stupidness'.
What I think is critical in an intimate relationship is the ability to give and recieve love, and a strong sense of loyalty. If it comes with a 160 IQ, fine. If it comes with a 100 IQ, that's fine too. I'm not too interested in someone that can't function on a reasonable level, but it doesn't take a huge amount of smarts to do this.
I've also noticed that a lot of people are smarter than they appear- but they lack the confidence or background experiences to express this effectively. Sometimes it takes a lot to open the way for this. Similarly, a lot of people that are very articulate are just that- articulate. Not particularly bright, just facile with words.

Cane

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:08:43 PM   
arayofsunshine55


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Yeah, Faramir is right, few say they're looking for someone dumber than a post.

Well for me, anyone who finds my mind and/or thought processes initimidating isn't going to work. If I can run circles around you, outthink you, we'll definitely have problems. Anyone who is not open to learning more about the world won't work either. Anyone who thinks his way of thinking is the only correct way, also problemmatic for me.

Is this most important? No. But it isn't negotiable either.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:09:58 PM   
domtimothy46176


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I think intelligence is extremely critical in a servant. I don't neccessarily require a large knowledge base as long as the ability and willingness to learn is present in abundance. I can teach grammer, vocabulary and sentence structure, if need be, as well as most other basic skills.
Timothy

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:12:27 PM   
plantlady64


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Hello There,
I've found both sides of the coin exist as far as the Dom's I've had contact with.
Some feel extremely threatened by my intelligence and some revel in it. I've even had Doms say I was arrogant and cocky just because I was knowledgeable in areas we were discussing.
I would venture to say I think it depends on the intelligence of the Dom and how threatening an intelligent woman is to them.

My Master absolutely relishes the fact I'm intelligent, and wouldn't have it any other way.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 1:35:12 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


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I would be a little frightened if someone answered "no" to this post.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 2:03:43 PM   
richbtch24


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I guess most of you hinted at my point. Not many want someone less intelligent than they are themselves. Granted I was surprised at how many feel they possess this quality...yet don't. Not anyone that has posted thus far, or I will atleast give you all the benefit of the doubt. I for one am intrigued by one's intelligence. For me dominating someone is more a mental aspec] majority of the time rather than a physical one. For this reason some want a less intelligent sub or a Dom of far greater intelligence. Personally I would prefer a sub that is very intelligent because matching wits can be a battle in itself. One which at the end of the day, I would hope to come out on top. I, as usual, am surprised by the turnout I received.

Thanks for the comments,

Rob

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 2:30:38 PM   
bulletproof


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

So - who was going to say: "I like 'em dumb! I prefer dumb, hot broads - hey wanna chat?"


actually the "all brawn and no brain" myth is alive and well for some as well. and they prefer it.
I never understood that. never will.

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RE: Intelligence is key? - 8/18/2005 2:50:23 PM   
DesertRat


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Yes, intelligence is important to me. Formal education, or the lack of it doesn't matter, though. Also, I am not really looking for someone with whom I can "match wits" as part of our Dom/sub dynamic. Sure, there's a bit of that, but I don't view relationships as being analogous to games or ritual dances. I just find intelligent women more attractive. But it's all relative, isn't it?

Bob

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