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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 7:23:14 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I find it interesting that the popular view on this site (at least my perception of it), is sub/slave/whatever - - it's what you define it to be, enjoy whatever works.  But then a site that could actually fit someone's description is mentioned and it's multiple pages of gagging and spoofing.  How is that not being a BDSM elitist? 

, indeed!  "To each their own" as long as I like it, right? 
quote:

In later years, Castle Realm didn't do it for me, since romanticizing slavery doesn't do it for me.  But lots and lots of folks on here do enjoy that sort of thing.  Apparently having a website to reflect it is vomit worthy...

LOL.  It's so often people who seem rather bitter, lonely, and jaded who are most full of disgust for such sites.  The ones who look down on those who are sickeningly content and secure in their romantic little relationships.  If I don't like everything about CR, that's cool.  But to feel the need to gag, hurl and retch at the mere mention of it?  It never quite made me that upset, I'm afraid.  But then, I don't have to put on the ultra-cool, hard-ass, been there and done that facade to feel secure, either.  Other people feeling romantic about their submission doesn't threaten or anger me in the least.  Not sure why it does so many others.  Shrug...................luci 

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 7:47:54 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

LOL.  It's so often people who seem rather bitter, lonely, and jaded who are most full of disgust for such sites.  The ones who look down on those who are sickeningly content and secure in their romantic little relationships.  If I don't like everything about CR, that's cool.  But to feel the need to gag, hurl and retch at the mere mention of it?  It never quite made me that upset, I'm afraid.  But then, I don't have to put on the ultra-cool, hard-ass, been there and done that facade to feel secure, either.  Other people feeling romantic about their submission doesn't threaten or anger me in the least.  Not sure why it does so many others.  Shrug...................luci 


The irony is all of that comes around the same time so many "subblier than thou" criticisms have been bandied about.  How is mocking a "lighter" form of BDSM not the same?

The only thing that makes me gag any more is zucchini.  Well, yeah, and a couple of other things, heh.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 12/21/2007 7:48:35 PM >

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 8:32:11 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

LOL.  It's so often people who seem rather bitter, lonely, and jaded who are most full of disgust for such sites.  The ones who look down on those who are sickeningly content and secure in their romantic little relationships.  If I don't like everything about CR, that's cool.  But to feel the need to gag, hurl and retch at the mere mention of it?  It never quite made me that upset, I'm afraid.  But then, I don't have to put on the ultra-cool, hard-ass, been there and done that facade to feel secure, either.  Other people feeling romantic about their submission doesn't threaten or anger me in the least.  Not sure why it does so many others.  Shrug...................luci 


I do not think it is a security issue so much as a matter of taste. I have not cared for "chick flicks" or romance novels since high school, and they were starting to get tiresome by the time I turned 16. I would rather have my own romance than hear about someone else's. I love romance mind you, I just do not always find the same things to be romantic as other people... like when he bruises my ass so badly and I wince just to sit down, but he lovingly rubs the bruises out.. well it just doesn't get more romantic than that. Or when we take walks down by the ocean and see dolphins in the distance.... that is wonderful too.

I think it would be interesting to post excerpts from Castle Realm and debate the ideas that it contains.

_____________________________

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 8:46:18 PM   
ownedgirlie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think it would be interesting to post excerpts from Castle Realm and debate the ideas that it contains.


I think it would be, too.  I would probably find their stuff most inappropriate for the way I live now, but it would be fun to talk about, if we could have actual conversations.

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 8:50:13 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think it would be interesting to post excerpts from Castle Realm and debate the ideas that it contains.


I think it would be, too.  I would probably find their stuff most inappropriate for the way I live now, but it would be fun to talk about, if we could have actual conversations.


I think we could have actual conversations about it, it is the others that post here that might complicate matters (mostly joking here)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 8:59:54 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Status: offline 		Ha...yeah, I meant "we" as a whole CM group.

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 9:52:16 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think it would be interesting to post excerpts from Castle Realm and debate the ideas that it contains.


I think it would be, too.  I would probably find their stuff most inappropriate for the way I live now, but it would be fun to talk about, if we could have actual conversations.


I think that's an excellent idea! I'll go start a thread. ;)

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 9:53:14 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
The irony is all of that comes around the same time so many "subblier than thou" criticisms have been bandied about.  How is mocking a "lighter" form of BDSM not the same?

It is the same, ownedgirlie.  It's all bullshit.  It is indeed "ironic," as you say that there is no pleasing some people.  There are folks on this site who describe very intense experiences that others consider abusive.  There are almost always those who will then go on and on about how abusive and wrong that is.  Then, on the other hand, people post about Castle Realm and then others whine about how gross them liking such a gagworthy site is.  Ironically, it can often be the same people.  There is just no pleasing some people.  Either they think what you do is wrong and abusive or they think what you do is pussified, weak, and a joke of a fantasy fairy tale.  Lucky for me I don't give two shits how what I like appears to them.  I do find it a bit sad, though, that people who do find romance in their submission often feel they have to defend or explain that so others don't laugh.  What others?  Somebody who doesn't have a shred of the bliss and contentment you have and feels the need to cast what you have in a negative light?  Not hardly.  I can take or leave Castle Realm.  I don't care one way or the other.  But, if it's contents meant alot to others, who am I to mock them?  It is very ironic, ownedgirlie that, for all the bluster about how "openminded" everyone is, many people are shockingly close-minded if they see someone else's way as "lesser than" or "lighter."  There's just no pleasing some people, especially those who just can't relate to your happiness. 
quote:

The only thing that makes me gag any more is zucchini.  Well, yeah, and a couple of other things, heh.

Ummmm, Brussel sprouts................luci

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 9:58:35 PM   
slaveluci


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From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not think it is a security issue so much as a matter of taste. I have not cared for "chick flicks" or romance novels since high school, and they were starting to get tiresome by the time I turned 16. I would rather have my own romance than hear about someone else's

Agreed.  Totally agreed.  It IS a matter of taste.  I don't like chick flicks either and I wouldn't read Harlequin romances if they were the last books on earth.  As you say, I've spent my time creating my own romances, not obsessively reading about others'.  However, if someone's taste is that they love those same things I hate, that's cool.  When they begin bombarding me with how sickening my tastes are and how inferior they are to what THEIR tastes are, that's when I sense their insecurity.  Fine, I love something and you hate it.  That's our individual tastes.  When you feel the need to mock, criticize, demean, riducule, etc. me or my tastes, you have an issue somewhere.  I don't.  That's all I'm saying.
quote:

I think it would be interesting to post excerpts from Castle Realm and debate the ideas that it contains.

Sure.  I think alot of the worst "haters" wouldn't even recognize the excerpts because I doubt if some of them have even taken the time to actually read what they're hatin' on.  Sounds cool................luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 12/21/2007 9:59:31 PM >

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 10:04:09 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I posted some ridiculing things about CR on another thread, and then felt sort of regretful for having done so when I realized that some people DO live that way. I suppose I thought it was sort of a fantasy based website, that it held unreasonable expectations that people hopelessly tried to live up to... but then I realized that if people want that sort of relationship, can find it, and it fulfills them, then my assumptions about it just could be wrong.

Sometimes it isn't that we want to ridicule people, we just do not realize that our opinions are insulting someone. My bad! I didn't realize how many people actually identified with that sort of relationship....

I will say though, people often post how they are squicked about how my relationship functions because I have a "Daddy", I do not see many people up in arms over that, or getting all bent out of shape over it... mind you, I do not give a shit, but it is sort of amusing that people treat CR like it is some Sacred Cow... it might be a Sacred Cow to some of us, but not all of us. It really is ok that some people are grossed out by Daddy Doms, just like it is ok that some people are grossed out by scat or by golden showers or gang bangs. The world will not come to an end because some of us do not like CR. It doesn't work for us, it doesn't have to, and it does not mean we are "closed minded" that it doesn't work for us

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/21/2007 10:08:32 PM   
velvetears


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Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i remember visiting CR yearsssssss ago and not really liking it very much. i had no experience back then but the words just never rang very true to me - they seemed sugar coated or like someone's idea of fantasy.  i found the Rosie Archives and i connected with much of what she had to say - but then again i think she was more in tune with what i was looking for - the SM aspect, so i suppose, depending on what your orientation is will determine whether or not you like of hate a place.

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 5:46:05 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I posted some ridiculing things about CR on another thread, and then felt sort of regretful for having done so when I realized that some people DO live that way. I suppose I thought it was sort of a fantasy based website, that it held unreasonable expectations that people hopelessly tried to live up to... but then I realized that if people want that sort of relationship, can find it, and it fulfills them, then my assumptions about it just could be wrong

To me, that's one of the hallmarks of being openminded.  Realizing that if something fulfills someone else - even if I can't stomach it - that it's fine for them.  I've never thought of you as a closeminded poster, julia.  Opinionated and determined - yes.  Closeminded - not at all.
quote:

Sometimes it isn't that we want to ridicule people, we just do not realize that our opinions are insulting someone. My bad! I didn't realize how many people actually identified with that sort of relationship....

I think we've all been guilty of unintentionally insulting others' preferences.  Doing it because you didn't realize, as you said, is one thing.  Intentionally mocking someone else's preferences just seems a bit childish and, of course, closeminded to me. 
quote:

I will say though, people often post how they are squicked about how my relationship functions because I have a "Daddy", I do not see many people up in arms over that, or getting all bent out of shape over it

Well, I'm not bent out of shape.  I was just agreeing with ownedgirlie that I see the irony.  Especially when the insulting comments come from some people who propose that they are the epitome of free thinking, open minded, and/or "do your own thing," that's all.  I personally haven't noted too much "Daddy" bashing here but, throw out the words "Castle Realm," and they line up to boo and hiss.  I don't think it's any better to insult what you and your partner have.
quote:

.. mind you, I do not give a shit, but it is sort of amusing that people treat CR like it is some Sacred Cow... it might be a Sacred Cow to some of us, but not all of us

Agreed.  It's certainly not to me, nor was it ever.  I don't think there are any sacred cows as  far as the "lifestyle."  I totally understand why many don't care for it.  As I said, I can take or leave it.  Some of the writings are fine, some silly to me.  But if others like it and the philosophies work for them, I don't feel some overwhelming urge to cut them down as BDSM "lite" and mock it.  That's my whole point.  Well, that and the unbelivable irony of such mockery coming from some folks who think most anything else is A-OK and shouldn't be judged.
quote:

It really is ok that some people are grossed out by Daddy Doms, just like it is ok that some people are grossed out by scat or by golden showers or gang bangs

It's A-OK.  It's fine.
quote:

The world will not come to an end because some of us do not like CR

Boy, I hope not.
quote:

It doesn't work for us, it doesn't have to, and it does not mean we are "closed minded" that it doesn't work for us

Amen to that.  I couldn't agree more.  But if people came out in throngs to mock and put down golden showers, gang bangs, etc. any time they are mentioned, that would be just as silly.  It's fine to be grossed out by any little thing one wants to be.  No, the world won't end.  But it does kind of bring intelligent discourse to a grinding halt when that dislike becomes juvenile mockery instead of a differing taste.  That's all I'm sayin'.....................luci

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 6:38:27 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well, since I am the one who gags, hurls, and wretches at the thought of this site, I guess I’ll respond to luci’s thoughts about my actions J

Castle Ream, when I read through the site, depicted a romantic relationship between two people who were engaged in D/s.

There is nothing wrong with romance; I never said there was. Hell, I loved my late husband desperately; and despite evidence to the contrary, he loved me just as much.

However, Castle Realm had a habit of ‘declaring any relationship outside of a romantic one’ as wrong. Now, I realize that Jade was only speaking from her own experience and her own relationship; yet, she made sure that her dislike of anything less was very known.

A new person, reading this site, is going to be overwhelmed at the thought of ‘ohhhhhhhhh this is exactly what I am looking for, I am so glad that I got to read this”…they meet their first Dominant and find out…ooopppss…he hurt me….that’s abuse according to what I read on Castle Realm. Uh huh. Instead of a person knowing ALL the aspects that can come from a D/s relationship…they are instead left feeling used, abused, and hurt because they think they did something wrong to make the Dominant hurt them. Why did they not have the wonderful romantic encounter that was told about on Castle Realm?

To me, it was just a site that invited issues such as this. They should have made sure that they also went into other aspects of what could be encountered; instead of only showing the one aspect.

Romance is fine…but when it’s shown as the only way to have a relationship…well…gag, wretch and hurl…

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 6:56:45 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
I find it interesting that the popular view on this site (at least my perception of it), is sub/slave/whatever - - it's what you define it to be, enjoy whatever works.  But then a site that could actually fit someone's description is mentioned and it's multiple pages of gagging and spoofing.  How is that not being a BDSM elitist? 

, indeed!  "To each their own" as long as I like it, right? 
quote:

In later years, Castle Realm didn't do it for me, since romanticizing slavery doesn't do it for me.  But lots and lots of folks on here do enjoy that sort of thing.  Apparently having a website to reflect it is vomit worthy...

LOL.  It's so often people who seem rather bitter, lonely, and jaded who are most full of disgust for such sites.  The ones who look down on those who are sickeningly content and secure in their romantic little relationships.  If I don't like everything about CR, that's cool.  But to feel the need to gag, hurl and retch at the mere mention of it?  It never quite made me that upset, I'm afraid.  But then, I don't have to put on the ultra-cool, hard-ass, been there and done that facade to feel secure, either.  Other people feeling romantic about their submission doesn't threaten or anger me in the least.  Not sure why it does so many others.  Shrug...................luci 


I find it interesting that you are making assumptions about people who are at odds with your way of thought. There seems to be a contingency of people here who inexplicably think that anytime someone voices an opinion that differs from the rose-colored glasses view that some have, that those self same people are automatically "lonely, bitter, bitchy, insertadjective here".

On the contrary, I find those people who are the most outspoken here to be most literate and flexible in their views. Oh, and not bitter, lonely and jaded. One can be perfectly happy or content and still have a very vociferous way of posting. Not everyone's posting style is going to speak to your sensibilities. Some posters make me laugh, some make me think, some make me sick, etc. We are all individuals who express differently.

On top of that, I, for example, have been known to rethink my stance on something once debated in an intelligent manner and I am woman enough to go back to the post and say, yes, you know, it is true what you have said, thanks for pointing that out.

What I do not tolerate are those who fail to listen to any argument but their own; when you approach something with a differing opinion with intelligent argument and they can only respond with childish self-serving comments because they are unwilling to hear your side, then the conversation usually disintegrates into flames, insults and worse.

I find it interesting you said BDSM Elitist, which is a very good term, that can be used on both sides of the fence. An elitist means that you feel YOUR way is the best and true way and how often do we see that on these boards?

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/22/2007 6:59:19 AM >

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 7:03:28 AM   
Knite64


Posts: 10
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ricksub42

i was at my munch group at night and some people were talking about how how they couldn't get on Castle Realm. Does anyone know what happened to it ? It was such a wonderful site. One of the best educational sites i've ever seen. i've recommended to people curious about the lifestyle.

rick


Hello rick
As you will have read from previous posts the site has been down for sometime now and I guess its simply not commercially viable anymore to keep it running.....or people move on in time.

Interestingly I am in the pro CR camp as it detailed a partial area of My beliefs (albeit in a rather overfluffy manner and could never have stood alone as a lifestyle rule book by any means in My opinion)and whilst I view it as an outdated site now I did enjoy re reading some of the writings.Frankly, whilst I respect anyones right not to  give credit to the site I do find the hi jacking of your thread down right rude.

be well ...Knite

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 7:08:03 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Sure.  I think alot of the worst "haters" wouldn't even recognize the excerpts because I doubt if some of them have even taken the time to actually read what they're hatin' on.  Sounds cool................luci


Hate is a strong word, but reading excerpts like the one that celeste posted reminded me of how much I dislike CR

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 8:00:25 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Way back when CR was "the site" to refer newbies toward and was both mocked and idolized rumors were rampant.  The biggest of those was that Jade was not real and that the articles were written by someone who had never done this physically, but only in the online realm.  We always thought that might be why so many of the articles were disparaging toward masochists.   Many people found it an odd coincidence that when the online only rumor became more widely known that the writer dropped out of site.  It was a pretty common thing back then for screen names to disappear, and have someone come back who supposedly knew them would inform everyone that the person had died. 
I don't think I ever went to that site, but it was amusing to discuss how people felt about CR.  It was always passionate.  Love it or hate it, lol it did stir up some interest.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Sure.  I think alot of the worst "haters" wouldn't even recognize the excerpts because I doubt if some of them have even taken the time to actually read what they're hatin' on.  Sounds cool................luci


Hate is a strong word, but reading excerpts like the one that celeste posted reminded me of how much I dislike CR


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 8:17:16 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

t is sort of amusing that people treat CR like it is some Sacred Cow...


Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me.  I never understood what was so special about it.  I found it to be more fantasy than anything else.  But I'm not exactly the most romantic person you'll ever meet either.  I was pointed to it when I was starting out, but I was also pointed to some other websites, such as pittsburghleather.org which I found to be more appropriate and realistic.  More appropriate and realistic for me.


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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 8:20:52 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Hello rick
As you will have read from previous posts the site has been down for sometime now and I guess its simply not commercially viable anymore to keep it running.....or people move on in time.

Interestingly I am in the pro CR camp as it detailed a partial area of My beliefs (albeit in a rather overfluffy manner and could never have stood alone as a lifestyle rule book by any means in My opinion)and whilst I view it as an outdated site now I did enjoy re reading some of the writings.Frankly, whilst I respect anyones right not to  give credit to the site I do find the hi jacking of your thread down right rude.

be well ...Knite

Stick around bubba...You want rude? I can show you rude. What you see here is pretty tame.

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RE: Castle Realm - 12/22/2007 8:29:38 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Stick around bubba...You want rude? I can show you rude. What you see here is pretty tame.


Yeah, pretty much, don't come here when some of us are having a bad, day we're all bitter and lonely and it's some damn ugly shit.


_____________________________

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- Albert Einstein

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