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OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 3:31:35 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

... A Mistress!

Get out from behind the computer and into a munch.. if you can handle that.. get to the local dungeon or whatever local 'scene' is available. You will get that information at the munch. There, show your personality, act like a HUMAN being and show your personality. Not an "unworthy..or worm boy..or whatever".. that's the fantasy speaking, deal with reality first..find out what the person you are interested in is... well, interested in. This is important, because when you are done with a session, what you have left is you and all she has is herself. THAT is what both of you have to offer. I hope this helps.

edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 12/20/2007 4:09:35 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Post #: 1

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 3:55:59 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Cool. This post just goes to show I'm not the only one out there who thinks like this. From time to time, I also wonder why some can't understand this easy answer to the question.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 2

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 4:59:08 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement.

Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 5:14:35 PM

AFlyInYourWeb

Posts: 284
Joined: 8/30/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement.

Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today!

What? No link??

Let me guess: when I get to the counter at Burger King, I'm supposed to say: "Gimme a Whopper, but hold the pickle."

Would using the drive-in window be considered cheating?

_____________________________

Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=334308
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=335720
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336666
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=337911

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 4

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 5:22:45 PM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

When you find the local scene, make friends of all persuasions: Doms, other subs (especially femsubs....they are great little match makers!), fetishists, crossies etc etc Discreetly let people know you are single and sub. If they like you, eventually someone will tell a Mistress about you and fix you up.

Mistresses don't like being hit on by complete strangers. You will probably be politely told to get lost if you only focus on Mistresses at munches, dungeons etc. You usually need allies, connections and friends in the scene to land a Mistress......

........unless you look like Brad Pitt. Then the Mistresses will probably fight eachother to grab you first and pop that BDSM cherry!

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to AFlyInYourWeb)

Post #: 5

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 5:49:52 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

... A Mistress!

Get out from behind the computer and into a munch.. if you can handle that.. get to the local dungeon or whatever local 'scene' is available. You will get that information at the munch. There, show your personality, act like a HUMAN being and show your personality. Not an "unworthy..or worm boy..or whatever".. that's the fantasy speaking, deal with reality first..find out what the person you are interested in is... well, interested in. This is important, because when you are done with a session, what you have left is you and all she has is herself. THAT is what both of you have to offer. I hope this helps.

edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...)

does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 6

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 5:49:56 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Barring this, you can always send a monthly Paypal payment to me, ShaktiSama the Great, and I will send you a weekly newsletter telling you What Is Expected of My Loyal Minions. Included will be recipes, scourging exercises, and adventures in self-humiliation which you will undergo for my amusement.

Yes, you too can have a Real Live Internet Mistress! This week's adventure: ordering fast food while wearing no pants! Join my Internet harem today!

Your newsletter has recipes? I better start working on my content!

On second thought, crap! I don't have a newsletter. SO much work ahead of me!

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 7

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 5:51:26 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

Cardboard cutouts of undifferentiated, personality-free, generic slaves are in limitless supply. It's definitely possible to show personality and still be polite and respectful. Good advice!

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 8

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 6:20:17 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

My slave and I have been enjoying our collar for 11 years. I followed my own advice. Go with the attitude of getting involved in the "kommunity'- you'll have more fun while you are looking

My slave was the most unlikely candidate. Nine years older, white hair, but one hell of a body :)
I had no intention of looking for a slave to collar. I was busy learning what I could form the meetings and people and that I talked to. Here this guy had 6 years experience..mostly with pro-Dommes. I had to get him to see ME and not what he thought I should be. While I was capable of anything, I made sure he knew I had limits and his submission depended on MY definition and not his. He asked for my collar one night. I said "what the hell, nobody else seems to want you" :) I'm glad I did.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 9

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 6:59:43 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
........unless you look like Brad Pitt. Then the Mistresses will probably fight eachother to grab you first and pop that BDSM cherry!

I look like Brad Pitt and George Clooney...If you smashed their heads together.

No, seriously now (You can be serious? Shut up), for all my ranting and cheerleading about how awesome a tool them thar interwebs are for making connections and learning about BDSM and all that jazz...Yeah. You've got to get out there to really make it happen. Do whatever you can, whatever you must, but get involved.

When I'm in a city with a scene, I go to clubs. I visit with kinky friends when I find myself in their parts of the world. I visit New York City every few months to go to Paddles. It's not a lot, but it's what my budget affords, and it's something. That's the important part, my fellow submissive dudes. That you at least try.

"Touching was, is, and always will be the true revolution."

< Message edited by aidan -- 12/20/2007 7:00:30 PM >

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 10

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:15:00 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

No, seriously now (You can be serious? Shut up), for all my ranting and cheerleading about how awesome a tool them thar interwebs are for making connections and learning about BDSM and all that jazz...Yeah. You've got to get out there to really make it happen. Do whatever you can, whatever you must, but get involved.

When I'm in a city with a scene, I go to clubs. I visit with kinky friends when I find myself in their parts of the world. I visit New York City every few months to go to Paddles. It's not a lot, but it's what my budget affords, and it's something. That's the important part, my fellow submissive dudes. That you at least try.

"Touching was, is, and always will be the true revolution."

While going to micsellaneous clubs is a start.. try to be a frequent at the one you like the best. Getting your face out there and known as a 'regular' helps a lot. They know you are not just passing through for an occational thrill. People start looking for you to show up then if there is an interest.

And volunteer to do work for the club, it gives you credibility as someone who is interested in the whole picture.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 11

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:22:00 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

Well, for me, and for a lot of people I'd imagine who come to a site like CollarMe specifically looking for a partner, it's that finances and geography stymie me. Rural hometown, rural school, no personal mode of transportation, all make for regular trips to the club and events just this side of unfeasible.

What you suggest, LotusSong, it's solid advice. I'm not arguing that, and it's the next step when I finally can implement it.

What I was trying to say with the above post is that even when odds are against you, there's still opportunities if you're willing to be dedicated and go out of your way. If BDSM is important to you, you'll find a way to get out there in the community.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 12

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:24:54 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

Another suggestion: if there's no community or scene where you reside, than start it yourself. Try to network with people (relatively) local, organize a munch, start a club at college (if applicable). If there's no scene, be the scene, if that makes any sense.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 13

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:29:40 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Right you are. I did a blog post about just this topic a while ago. So many guys who say they want a Mistress are nothing but internet wankers. It is not easy, but it sure ain't impossible to find a quality Mistress.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 14

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:30:00 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...)

does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera

Bring em on, cutie! :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 15

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:35:23 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

What I was trying to say with the above post is that even when odds are against you, there's still opportunities if you're willing to be dedicated and go out of your way. If BDSM is important to you, you'll find a way to get out there in the community.

Understood :) I was just elaborating. At least you are getting out there and provide a good example. It will pay off eventually :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 16

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:39:00 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

edited to correct my sorry typing! (it's either that or I'm typing in "tongues" ...)

does this mean nobody wants pictures of my penis? DAMN, there goes 3 gigs of memory on my camera

Bring em on, cutie! :)

sorry to tease; other than the fact that i've taken no pics of my wee willy, i can't go around showing Ma'ams property like that

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 17

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:50:28 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
Included will be recipes

Now are these recipes towards sadism or service? The distinction could be rather important. For instance, if it a recipe towards SM, and the poor chap thinks it's a recipe towards service, and then there he is one day serving a domme, and he says, tonight's her birthday so I'll pull out one of the recipes I got the training program of ShaktiSama The Great, and, well, there could be lots of trouble ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to ShaktiSama)

Post #: 18

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 7:58:57 PM

ShaktiSama

Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

Perish the thought! None of my loyal minions would ever forsake me for another! No other woman's approval matters. Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain! I am the Great and Powerful Domme!

(Nevertheless, I'll be sure to mark the recipe section "Treats Your Mistress Will Love" with special notes on how to mix up a nice moisturizing masque to keep my mane shiny, or a dark chocolate truffle to serve between polished teeth.

)

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 12/20/2007 7:59:39 PM >

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 19

RE: OK, Here it is- How to find... - 12/20/2007 8:04:44 PM

Dolce

Posts: 34
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

Aww...and here I was hoping for /real/ recipes... Tis the downside to being a single sub. I have noone to cook for!! Granted, I hosted a small vanilla party tonight, and baked up a storm (as I always do). I love to cook...but if I cook, I wind up eating it for a week!

~Dolce, who loves her 500-watt Kitchenaid mixer and her convection oven

_____________________________

The presence of a noble nature...changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character. ~George Eliot

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 20

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