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Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/20/2007 11:38:31 PM

Cactuslovedoll

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There is certainly quite a divide between the women on here who are honestly looking for something real and the ones who are just here to make money. No offense to practicing pro-dommes. I was just thinking that since everyone is looking for different things it would make sense to have a “Pro/lifestyle” filter option in the search engine. Prodommes listed as lifestyles(whom obviously have a profile outlining commercial interests) could be flagged. This would help keep everyone on their side of the fence, giving the civilians some room to breath. It would save many people who are looking for something real, rather then purchased, a whole lot of time when browsing profiles. This is a free website, and its my understanding that the websites intention is to connect people. Its kind of cheesy and low-rent to use a free website as a business vehicle. It falls into a genre of spam. I wouldn’t have a problem with spam if it was placed in its own section on the dinner plate. I just don’t want it all mixed in with the potato’s and peas.

I dont' want this to be a gender issue. I'm sure there's pro-guys on here too. Although that concept seems ill-fated for some reason...

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RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/20/2007 11:49:52 PM

stef

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Clearly, the powers that be do not share your opinion on the matter.

~stef

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RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/20/2007 11:54:17 PM

MissMagnolia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cactuslovedoll

There is certainly quite a divide between the women on here who are honestly looking for something real and the ones who are just here to make money. No offense to practicing pro-dommes.

Yes, nothing offensive in those statements at all.

Try looking up one of the ten billion threads on this self same, boring, done to death topic, instead of starting yet another boo hoo thread.

Don't like the plate? Don't look at it.

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RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 12:38:51 AM

CuriousLord

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Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I'd suggest you reword your proposal. The start, where you keep trying to say that there's no offense intended.. it's leading readers, particularly readers who may've already been likely to be offended, to look at your suggestion with the notion that it's quite possibly offensive in mind already. Also, you do present it with an obvious bias. Even if you have one, best to just be plain about things.

Something along the lines of.. "It would be nice to have an option on profiles where users can declare a 'Pro' status, so that everyone can find what they're looking for with less confusion."

You have a point. If someone's looking for pro's or looking for non-pro's, it'd be easier to just sort them out.. after all, we can sort out people based on gender, D/s orientation, height, weight, location, and.. well, I haven't checked recently, but maybe more things? Seems like another good search line.

One thing you would have to understand, though, with "flagging" users as pro's.. this sounds as though it suggests others, be they mods or other users, flagging profiles. I would like to point out that mod's couldn't be compelled to have enough interest to spend their time in such investigation, nor does the site have a desire to allow some users to label others. (You can consult the Why We Don't Allow Blacklists thread if you would look to see a reasoning for this.)

Edit: Just an after thought..

Pro's are allowed to advertise here. To the best of my knowledge, it is illegal.. I'm rather surprised that these things aren't shot down. Still, it's on the fringes. Outside a couple of threads talking about pro's in the lifestyle- not necessary here or singling out any users of CM- there's not much direct mention of it.

If CM were to include a search feature for prostitution specifically, though, that may become enough to gain law enforcement's interest. It seems unlikely that the team running CM would be interested in risking this for such a feature.

With this in mind, I fear your suggestion may not be viable.

< Message edited by CuriousLord -- 12/21/2007 12:48:07 AM >

(in reply to Cactuslovedoll)

Post #: 4

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 3:18:43 AM

aphrodite5

Posts: 71
Joined: 8/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

If CM were to include a search feature for prostitution specifically,

Not to drive this thread off-topic, but I would like to clarify something here. Domination is not sex, and sex is not domination. You can have one without the other. A professional dom is not a prostitute. I have yet to hear of one that has sexual contact with a client. I'm sure that it happens. That doesn't make it the norm, and it certainly doesn't make the professions interchangable.

...And now I shall step off the soap-box.

As for the OP's suggestion, I can't say how useful it would be. In searching through profiles, there is all sorts of filtering that one has to do. Use your noodle, and you'll come out alright. You can't expect the machine to do all the work for you. What fun would that be?

(in reply to CuriousLord)

Post #: 5

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 3:36:37 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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Sometimes you just have to be smart enough to filter out what you personally are or aren't looking for all on your own, no matter what that criteria is.

If you're going to use online to increase your potential of meeting someone, then you have to have a fairly thick skin in dealing with those folks who for whatever reason, are NOT what you're looking for. All the filters in the world aren't going to change that. You're going to run into far FAR more people that are nowhere near what you personally are looking for than ones that are, because well - you're going to come into contact with a lot more people. If you can't learn to edit that "list" yourself according to your own standards, desires, beliefs - and keep a sense of humor about it - then this isn't the right forum for you to look for whatever you're looking for.

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Post #: 6

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 4:22:46 AM

MistressR526

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"This is a free website, and its my understanding that the websites intention is to connect people. Its kind of cheesy and low-rent to use a free website as a business vehicle. It falls into a genre of spam."

I have to disagree with you... as you mentioned this is a website intended to connect people. Spam, to me at least, involves sending information to someone. In the case of professional profiles, people click on them. So a profile is no more spam than a website that you click on when you google. Do you have any idea how many times I have googled something and come up with links to Amazon? Now THAT is annoying, but I don't consider it spam.

Anytime you do a search, you are likely to find profiles that do not suit you. I think that as long as expectations are made clear, there is nothing wrong with saying what you want or expect.

As far as legality of selling bdsm activites goes, it really depends on your locality. Sexual activity is different from getting tied up and flogged. Just like you would be laughed at if you accused a professional masseuse of being a prostitute, a pro Domme would probably give you the same reaction. Although there are surely some who cross the lines in both professions, it is the individual not the profession that crosses. Does that make sense?

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 7

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 4:34:40 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Your assumptions are breathtakingly wrong. Many prodommes are in the lifestyle as well. Most who do this do it not just to make money. Oh and there are many prodoms, but usually not here since this is much more of a straight than gay site. But good job on making sure that not one domme who reads this will consider you.

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Post #: 8

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 4:38:53 AM

Dnomyar

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What does being a Pro Dom have to do with being gay????

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 5:57:57 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

What does being a Pro Dom have to do with being gay????

Straight women don't pay men to beat them. Gay bottoms do use pro doms.

Whereas straight male bottoms do pay for pro dommes.

I was using dom vs domme to differentiate between the sex of the top. Because the op in his last line alluded to pro-guys.

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Post #: 10

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 8:02:03 AM

subserver

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Joined: 6/25/2004
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just came across the debate" Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro. I too think there a lot of Pro's here. I believe in the lifestlye, not a business venture. As far as prostitution regarding a ProDomme and a client , there is a grey area here. The client is paying for services that in themselves are highty sexual in nature. To me "if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck" you finish the rest.............john

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 8:43:02 AM

Dnomyar

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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There are people on here who will only use a pro Domme for phsycological reasons. They dont do it for sex so it is not the same as a prostitute. There are Dommes on here who do not have sex with their subs. It all depends on your situation. My question is why does this subject bother some people.

(in reply to subserver)

Post #: 12

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 9:41:25 AM

hardbodysub

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Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

The OP could have used some nicer wording, and I don't agree completely with some of the comments, but there's nothing wrong with the idea of providing a search field to distinguish between pro and non-pro, or possibly whether "tribute" is required. Purely non-judgmental. People looking for pros could find them more easily, and people who don't want pros could filter them out without the time and hassle of reading through the profiles to find the tiny little comment that identifies them as such.

(in reply to Cactuslovedoll)

Post #: 13

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 9:49:26 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

...

Try looking up one of the ten billion threads on this self same, boring, done to death topic, instead of starting yet another boo hoo thread.

Don't like the plate? Don't look at it.

I don't see it as "boo hoo", but as a legitimate suggestion. Yes, it's been commented on before, and yes, it gets boring, but obviously a lot of people feel the same way as the OP here. Complaining doesn't guarantee any improvement, but eventually, maybe the powers that be will do something about it. If everyone stays quiet, it's definite that nothing will change.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 14

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 9:58:11 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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I'll toss the same worn 2 cents in here that I do every time this comes up.
The pros that are looking for clients usually say so in their profiles. If thats not what you want, then contiue on and read elsewhere. Even if there was a pro heading, that doesnt mean someone would be required to use it, so your not really going to be doing much by way of sorting. Just like the sub females who list for their couple, or the Dom/me who lists as the head of a household... its a free site, so just becasue the option exists doesnt mean anyone has to use it. As a pro looking for new clients, using the pro feature would LOWER your hits, so I doubt it would be used much even if it was an option. Just something to think about. Unless, of course, you want the powers that be on CM to start policing who registers as what sort of account as well...
Rather than complaining about who is lookng for what and what you run across, just skim. If you see pro or money and it isnt what you want, move on and dont finish the profile. Same as if you see something that is a limit of yours. No one comes on to complain that everyone who is interested in age play be sectioned off, or those who are into crossdressing get their own demarkations... so why should we separate the pros when it is just another interest on here?

DV

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(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 15

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 10:52:27 AM

PoshPerfect

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Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline

Are submissives who want to participate in power exchange via what they consider to be the uttermost symbol of power- MONEY- through ways of consensual blackmail, financial domination and worship/spoiling- are they not "real" either?

< Message edited by PoshPerfect -- 12/21/2007 10:53:45 AM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 16

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 10:56:47 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

... so why should we separate the pros when it is just another interest on here?

DV

Because we can filter searches based on those other interests, and we can't do it based on whether money is involved. The interest checklist does not have any selection for pro or tribute. If it did, it would make it easier for people to find what they want.

Sure, a lot of pros might not check the $ box, thinking that they'll get more hits without it, but they might actually hurt their own interests by doing this. They may actually get fewer "quality" hits because people actually searching for a pro won't find them. Listing as a pro will help generate business because people who actually want that will find them. Conversely, the extra hits from people who aren't looking for pros don't generate anything but wasted time and annoyance.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 17

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 10:58:14 AM

Aubre

Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
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Dammit I thought this was going to be the next writer's strike inspired reality show. Oh Pickles!

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 18

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 11:07:48 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

And also there is the search issue of the many, many like myself that are both lifestyle And pro and are here in search of Both lifestyle subs and sub-clients.

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Post #: 19

RE: Dommes Lifestyle vs. Pro - 12/21/2007 1:06:15 PM

MsSaskia

Posts: 415
Joined: 9/9/2004
From: Denver
Status: offline

You do make a lot of assumptions, and none of them seem to consider the possibility that pro dommes are just people that are in the lifestyle and have the same need for community that the non-pros do. I get very few clients from CM and I already have my own partners, so I come here to read the boards and participate in the discussions that are of interest. And sometimes, I speak up just to remind people like you that pro dommes have something to say, like it or not.

I see a lot of pro dommes participating in discussions that are not specifically about pro domination. Are you sure you want to relegate those voices to a separate part of the board just so you don't have to hear from people you don't approve of?

(in reply to Cactuslovedoll)

Post #: 20

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