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RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 12:52:27 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I think of it as saying "put up or shut up".

Why? Its a message board about people into BDSM.

It makes more sense for you to either refrain from reading my thread or stop complaining that it exists.

I feel like venting. Who am I going to vent to? My friends? "Guys, my Master says-" oh wait, my friends are vanilla. Im going to vent to Master? Um, I think not. Actually, I vent to Master plenty but you have to draw the line somewhere.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 101

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 12:55:11 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

I don't think pity is a very good way to help someone...empathy and compassion... but pity?

Depression stops many a "big girl" from stepping up ...

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 102

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:03:05 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I don't think pity is a very good way to help someone...empathy and compassion... but pity?

Depression stops many a "big girl" from stepping up ...

It stopped me until I was nearly 40. Being told some of the things I have read on this thread would have brought me to a worse place, not a better. But maybe that's the goal of some posters.

To those who reached big girl status at an earlier age, be grateful. Some try to get there, but sometimes it feels like being a rat in a maze, constantly hitting walls for taking wrong turns. Having been one of those "rats," bumped and bruised along the way, I'd rather not chastize one who is going through the same. Naturally everyone has a right to voice (or in this case, write) their own opinions, but this is my opinion so that's what I'm proclaiming.

This isn't directed at anyone in particular, just in general.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 103

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:03:18 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

I pulled myself out of that place without meds through diet and exercise, no it wasn't easy, but no one could do it but me...

When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

It seems almost ludicrous to me that 3 points would make the difference between a happy life and being a worthless failure. I am sorry, but after losing a parent at 14, being a single mom most of my adult life, over coming many challenges, being a scholar, having the opportunity to apply to one of the top 10 schools nationwide this year...it is hard for me to feel pity.

My sister's husband as an inoperable tumor on his back and he is only 45, it maybe cancer. My cousin's husband has brain cancer, he is in his 50s, my aunt just passed and left her spouse of over 50 years devastated and we worry he will follow her. I have seen many tragedies in the last month... scoring shy three points on a test one can retake really needs to be put in perspective.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 104

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:04:55 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

It has occurred to me that you seem to be having difficulty responding to anything anyone is suggesting that might make things better for you... .
Not a criticism...it is often easier to defend something that is not working than to look beyond that into what may be possible.... you are dealing with the known vs the unknown.

Change is hard.
Not changing in the long run though, harder still.

aJ

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 105

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:11:28 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
It seems almost ludicrous to me that 3 points would make the difference between a happy life and being a worthless failure. I am sorry, but after losing a parent at 14, being a single mom most of my adult life, over coming many challenges, being a scholar, having the opportunity to apply to one of the top 10 schools nationwide this year...it is hard for me to feel pity.

We all have different thressholds, different boundaries, different "last straws."

Many of us have gone through challenges and traumas in life, which have brought us to where we are today. I could list mine here, but I will choose not to, and just say I was pretty fucked up for the majority of my life, due to a lot of emotional and physical abuse.

One time I was complaining to one sister about the other. My grandmother had had a heart attack, and my sister & I were taking care of her. Now, I was married and working full time, and my sister was married and at home, doing god knows what (no children or pets). She was really stressed about having to help my grandmother - it was too much for her. This pissed me off, because the burden fell on me, so I griped about it to my other sister who was across the country. She told me great advice which I have carried with me to this day: "Rather than getting angry at her for being weak, why don't you be grateful for your own strength?"

To this day, that one sister of mine crashes when faced with what I view as "nothing." She has her reasons. I choose to support her and help her rather than chastize her and tell her to grow up and shut up. As a result, we have a loving relationship in which she gives what she can, and in which she has become more open to hearing gently offered advice. We wouldn't have that if I expected her to meet the bar I have for myself.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 106

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:26:13 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I have seen many tragedies in the last month... scoring shy three points on a test one can retake really needs to be put in perspective.

Oddly, Master has survived cancer, having his most recent operation in August. In his perspective, three points matters. It matters to him, so it matters to me.

quote:

Change is hard.
Not changing in the long run though, harder still.

I internalize some messages. I will buy more practice tests and try again. I will not change Masters though. Not now.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 107

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:32:34 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

My point of relating what I have is so perhaps kittty will read it and put her situation into perspective, it is not the end of the world, the sun will rise tomorrow, and when she does get into the Ivy League school others have decided she should attend perhaps she should consider something: Her admission to a prestigious law school will mean someone else who perhaps had their heart on attending it will not get to go. Perhaps that person dreamed their entire life of going to Harvard, and she will get that spot and the person who really wanted it will go to a second tier school... who should I pity in this situation? Her or the person who really wanted to be where she is?

Life is filled with little ironies, small tragedies, and large ones. We are all where we are supposed to be in the big scheme of things... even kittty. She attracted this response... just as she attracted the rest, perhaps my words will be the one to sink into her noggin and maybe wake her up to how blessed she is, and how grateful she could be... not everyone gets the opportunities she has... a little gratitude could go along way into filling her spirit with joy, in my experience gratitude is the only thing that gave me any joy.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 108

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 1:33:52 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

I have seen many tragedies in the last month... scoring shy three points on a test one can retake really needs to be put in perspective.

Oddly, Master has survived cancer, having his most recent operation in August. In his perspective, three points matters. It matters to him, so it matters to me.

quote:

Change is hard.
Not changing in the long run though, harder still.

I internalize some messages. I will buy more practice tests and try again. I will not change Masters though. Not now.

I did not say anything about changng Masters

"If you have a learning disability, or depression...there are resources available to learn new methods that will incoporate the way your brain does things...and your brain can be trained.

Also, if you have a learning disability they can make adjustments in the administration of standardized tests.

If you know that doing something this way will usually result in failure for you but you don't know another way to do it...doesn't it make sense that learning a different way to do it might increase your level of success?

If you don't know... that does not mean you can't learn...but you need the right tools..it is hard to change a tire with just a screwdriver...you need a jack, you need a lug-wrench and you also need to know how to use them. "

respectfully,
aJ

(in reply to kitttty)

Post #: 109

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 2:06:42 PM

kitttty

Posts: 494
Joined: 10/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Perhaps that person dreamed their entire life of going to Harvard, and she will get that spot and the person who really wanted it will go to a second tier school... who should I pity in this situation? Her or the person who really wanted to be where she is?

A lot of people dream their whole lives of going to Harvard. Who cares? Its more superficial a dream than wanting to please Master, who is a person I know intimately and care about. Wanting to go to H your whole life just because it is the big H is just wanting status to satisfy your ego. I mean, wanting to go there upon developing an interest in a field and researching what the school actually has to offer is something. I guarantee that I will never take a seat from such a person anywhere.

But if Master said to go to H, I would want it as sincerely as the one who wanted it for academic reasons. Master himself attended in a PhD program there- a particularly respected kind of PhD. Its one of two harvard degrees he has, which are only half the degrees he has overall (the other two being from an equally good school). And he's not even an academic. It is fucking intimidating. He's survived what anyone has survived in terms of family deaths and hardships. He says 3 points matters. So it matters. I am grateful for Master and I am grateful he trains me to please him. If 94% of the rest of the LSAT takers would like my score, it does not matter. I can only feel grateful for Master's happiness with me. I am grateful even for his disappointment in me because it is what propels me.

anj, yes, I appreciate your suggestion. LSAC will make no adjustments for me given my score, even if I provided WISC test data from years ago. But I guess it is important to see my psychiatrist 4 times a week as he suggests I should. I make an appointment about once a month although Master does not object to me seeing him more often.

I think Master takes good care of me.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 110

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 3:18:08 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

Given how varied depression and its sufferers can be, I'm wary of any one twue way to address it. I'm also not keen on the suggestion that those of us with deep-rooted clinical depression just aren't big girls and boys.

quote:

I pulled myself out of that place without meds through diet and exercise,

It's great that your depression yielded to your efforts, Julia. Not everyone is so lucky.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 111

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 3:24:22 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I for one, hopes her master leaves her....I could never see myself hanging out with someone who was such an academic failure. I can barely find the strength to write this post without puking.

It's God's will telling you that there are to many attorneys in this great land of ours.

Open a bdsm website.

_____________________________

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 112

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 4:34:12 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

Given how varied depression and its sufferers can be, I'm wary of any one twue way to address it. I'm also not keen on the suggestion that those of us with deep-rooted clinical depression just aren't big girls and boys.

quote:

I pulled myself out of that place without meds through diet and exercise,

It's great that your depression yielded to your efforts, Julia. Not everyone is so lucky.

I may be a heartless harridan for not falling out of my tree with sympathy and hand holding for this person...

I never said the only way to overcome depression was "my way", if you think that it is your interpretation of what I said...

And yes, sooner or later we have to take responsibility for our own wellness in this life... or not...

Now please feel free to take my words out of context further... I know my own intentions on this thread, and the words I have used. I have not insulted this girl once as others have said, I only stated I have trouble feeling pity for her.... and the only reason that would bother anyone is if they felt she deserved my pity.... I looked deep inside my soul and I found not an ounce of pity for this girl inside... especially after this post...

quote:

A lot of people dream their whole lives of going to Harvard. Who cares? Its more superficial a dream than wanting to please Master, who is a person I know intimately and care about. Wanting to go to H your whole life just because it is the big H is just wanting status to satisfy your ego. I mean, wanting to go there upon developing an interest in a field and researching what the school actually has to offer is something. I guarantee that I will never take a seat from such a person anywhere.

Nope, not much sympathy for someone who has no compassion or empathy for anyone but herself... she can't even look outside of her narrow life to even for a moment contemplate the blessings she has and realize that other people have dreams that to them are just as important as her own... nope, not a hell of a lot of sympathy from this old heartless harridan

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/23/2007 4:35:49 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 113

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 4:39:12 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

quote:

I never said the only way to overcome depression was "my way", if you think that it is your interpretation of what I said...

Emphases added.

Perhaps I misread you, but I'm not sure how else to interpret the words "the only way."

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 114

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 4:49:32 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

The only way to get over depression is to find what will make you happy.... I did not state I knew what that would be... it could be drugs, it could be therapy, it could be what worked for me, it could be her master... it could be getting into Harvard Law... you get the point...

I also wanted to say on edit... from everything I have ever read on the subject of depression, it takes someone taking responsibility for how they feel, learning how to express how they feel, learning how to express their anger, and being responsible for their own well being to get over depression... it isn't easy

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/23/2007 4:52:49 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 115

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 5:15:14 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Okay, so to restate what your clarification indicates that you meant to say:
"The only way to solve a problem is to find a solution to it."
Which doesn't sound quite as useful, does it?

And it sounds rather odd to me to state that the only way to find a solution to a problem is to grow up; the basic implications remain much the same, just with their scope widened to include basically everyone on this planet, which also isn't so useful. Perhaps you'd care to just make a different statement that more accurately says what you mean, rather than polishing the BS one?

Health,
al-Aswad ...
... whose foot is glued to his esophagus, so he quite understands.

< Message edited by Aswad -- 12/23/2007 5:17:39 PM >

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 116

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 5:18:53 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

The only way to solve a problem is to find a solution to it... well fucking duh, that is exactly what I am saying.. you do not have her solution, I do not have her solution... the only person who does is HER.... yeppers that is what I am saying!

Edited to add something more...

If someone has a disease they need to take care of it, it is called being responsible for the disease they have...

If she is depressed she needs to address that, and yes it is a growing process which requires one to be a bug girl and face it... I had to grow to face mine...

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 12/23/2007 5:21:52 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Aswad)

Post #: 117

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 5:20:39 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

quote:

I never said the only way to overcome depression was "my way", if you think that it is your interpretation of what I said...

Emphases added.

Perhaps I misread you, but I'm not sure how else to interpret the words "the only way."

i know julia already responded, but i wanted to chime in with a response that i did not interpreted her words as saying the only way to overcome depression was her way....but rather that the only way to overcome depression is to take responsibility for your depression and do what it takes to overcome it...no one else can make your depression go away for you, you have to take the steps to do it for yourself with or without the help of others or medication or whatever it takes...there aren't any magic wands or fairy godmothers...at least not that i have found....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to dcnovice)

Post #: 118

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 5:24:39 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

I lived with depression, and the only way to get over it is to be a big girl and decide that you want to be happy and find out what will make you so.

quote:

I never said the only way to overcome depression was "my way", if you think that it is your interpretation of what I said...

Emphases added.

Perhaps I misread you, but I'm not sure how else to interpret the words "the only way."

i know julia already responded, but i wanted to chime in with a response that i did not interpreted her words as saying the only way to overcome depression was her way....but rather that the only way to overcome depression is to take responsibility for your depression and do what it takes to overcome it...no one else can make your depression go away for you, you have to take the steps to do it for yourself with or without the help of others or medication or whatever it takes...there aren't any magic wands or fairy godmothers...at least not that i have found....

Yes, it is a process for a fact... it is a mood disorder that I still struggle with at times and have to watch. My entire life revolves around not allowing myself to ever get to the place where I do not want to crawl out of bed. That means a commitment to eating, sleeping, exercising, meditation...

It is a disease that the majority of people will suffer from at one point or another...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 119

RE: I fucked up my LSAT. I am going to cry. - 12/23/2007 5:52:34 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

I can't have a Cadillac, I'm going to cry! Waaaaaah!
I'm so depressed.

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 120

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