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Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:08:17 PM   
tootsiepop


Posts: 12
Status: offline 		Could You please tell me Your definitions of 'doormat'?

Thank You,

~tootsiepop

Added: What exactly are the actions one does that defines them as such? Not just 'walked over'... but in what way? W/we all get walked over.

< Message edited by tootsiepop -- 12/24/2007 1:27:37 PM >
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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:11:14 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		anyone who lets themselves get treated like crap under the guise of being a slave/submissive in the D/s sense or anyone who lets themselves get treated like crap in a vanilla relationship under the guise of low self-esteem.

actually both require lack of self worth or self esteem to allow themselves to be treated like a doormat.

but you will find many here who enjoy being doormats, it is another kink in the constellation of kinks, but you cannot be judgemental here, it is, afterall, a very non-judgemental kink site.


(in reply to tootsiepop)
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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:16:18 PM   
tootsiepop


Posts: 12
Status: offline 		I'm sorry but this is directed to Master's, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's... or did I get the heading wrong?

Thanks...

I was chastized by the previous poster for wanting to direct this question to Dominant's... for it is Their definitions I am interested in. Which is why I posted in 'ASK A MASTER' and not in 'ASK A SUBMISSIVE'... if this offends, so sorry.

< Message edited by tootsiepop -- 12/24/2007 1:30:57 PM >

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:30:17 PM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Masters definition of a doormat is a person that will let someone or more than one person take advantage of them. This person will not defend themselves in any form but trust anyone that comes into thier lives .

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:33:25 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV

Masters definition of a doormat is a person that will let someone or more than one person take advantage of them. This person will not defend themselves in any form but trust anyone that comes into thier lives .


wisteriaV, the OP said that no one's opinion is valid other than a Master/Mistress/Domme so you are not allowed to post here, didn't you know? I tried to tell her that everyone is allowed to post wherever they like on these boards and she told me my opinion was of no value to her since I am a sub.

(in reply to wisteriaV)
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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:35:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		A doormat is someone who will not heed sound advice because of who delivers it.

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:36:56 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisteriaV

Masters definition of a doormat is a person that will let someone or more than one person take advantage of them. This person will not defend themselves in any form but trust anyone that comes into thier lives .

And aren't making smart decisions or chose NOT to make smart decisions.  Many doormats want to be doormats or don't have the resources not to be doormats (in my Christmas opinion)

Z-

_____________________________

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:37:04 PM   
tootsiepop


Posts: 12
Status: offline 		Thank you wisteria and to your Master... that is exactly what I was looking for.

~t

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:38:15 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		A useless piece of flesh that wouldn't say shit if they had a mouth full of it. A person with a pulse and not much more to offer.

This is only my opinion, of course.

_____________________________

Old Bastard

"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad



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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:40:13 PM   
tootsiepop


Posts: 12
Status: offline 		DarkDaddyZ...

If one chooses to back down to avoid an arguement or to resort to name calling (such as the second poster here did to me in an email) would that consitute a doormat?

If NOT taking someone to task for their actions because you know you are talking to a brick wall constitute a doormat?

Thanks,

~t

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:42:31 PM   
cacodylic


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tootsiepop
I'm sorry but this is directed to Master's, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's... or did I get the heading wrong?

Thanks...

I was chastized by the previous poster for wanting to direct this question to Dominant's... for it is Their definitions I am interested in. Which is why I posted in 'ASK A MASTER' and not in 'ASK A SUBMISSIVE'... if this offends, so sorry.


Get used to it lol

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:42:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted:
I have found that the ones who have to SAY "I'm not a doormat" are almost always the ones most afraid that they really are, and almost always the ones who let themselves be taken advantage of in a way that does not fulfill them.

A doormat can be healthy, I know I was a happy fulfilled willing doormat in my previous relationship. 

It's the ones who are afraid of the choices that shout so loudly against them.  The ones who understand there is nothing to fear because THEY value their consent and take responsibility for their choices...being a doormat, or a master, or anything at all, is just one beautiful choice from another.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1212646/mpage_1/key_doormat/tm.htm#1212725
Doormats in Ds and bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_916105/mpage_1/key_doormat/tm.htm#916126
Doormats

http://www.collarchat.com/m_759342/mpage_4/key_doormat/tm.htm#761465
Doormats- can we eliminate them?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_719413/mpage_1/key_doormat/tm.htm#719427
How do you draw the line between submissive and doormat?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202748/mpage_1/key_doormat/tm.htm#202751
Doormat sub/slaves..what are their identifiers

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:45:02 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tootsiepop

DarkDaddyZ...

If one chooses to back down to avoid an arguement or to resort to name calling (such as the second poster here did to me in an email) would that consitute a doormat?

If NOT taking someone to task for their actions because you know you are talking to a brick wall constitute a doormat?

Thanks,

~t


No one called you names. You said, "no one of your ILK would be worth listening to" as if you, after joining today, would have any idea of me or any other subs, ILK.    I simply told you that you are not allowed to tell people they cannot post an opinion in any forum simply because you require opinions only of Doms. The TOS states that anyone can post anywhere anytime.

You then went on to state that my opinion, as a sub meant little to you, as all the opinions of subs would mean nothing to you.

I replied that you were very narrow minded in your thinking and would apparently do very well here at collarme.

I will now amend my intial reply to say that a doormat is someone who is unable to comprehend that others might have valuable contributions to a thread and that someone might be a doormat who is "under consideration".

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 12/24/2007 1:49:44 PM >

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:45:11 PM   
tootsiepop


Posts: 12
Status: offline 		LuckyAlbatross,

That was lovely. Thank you.

Sincerely,

~t

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 1:50:47 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cacodylic

quote:

ORIGINAL: tootsiepop
I'm sorry but this is directed to Master's, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's... or did I get the heading wrong?

Thanks...

I was chastized by the previous poster for wanting to direct this question to Dominant's... for it is Their definitions I am interested in. Which is why I posted in 'ASK A MASTER' and not in 'ASK A SUBMISSIVE'... if this offends, so sorry.


Get used to it lol


There are no rules for posting in reply based on role or sections of the forums and you may find that you actually get some very balanced perspective from those in roles where you least expect it.  Threads here aren't actually under the OP's control or only about the OP but also about the generation of discussion and exchange of ideas. 

In response to LA's post, which is insightful as always, I'm not sure what you describe would fit my idea of what a doormat is as you made a conscious choice to trust and acquiese to those who were beneficial to you.  A doormat in my view does not mean someone that is passive in their acceptance of positive things but someone who may not have the ability to speak out even against unhealthy choices made on their behalf and does not speak out or even point out those things. 

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to cacodylic)
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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 2:21:22 PM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		No, no, no, you are alllll wrong it is a flat rug like thingy that you put outside your door to wipe your feet on before you go indoors

the following is an extract from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doormat

quote:



MatFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Doormat)
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is about a piece of fabric. For other uses, see Mat (disambiguation).

A mat is a generic term for a piece of fabric or flat material, generally placed on a floor or other flat surface, and serving a range of purposes including:
  providing a regular or flat surface, such as a mouse mat.
  protecting that which is beneath the mat, such as a place mat or the matting used in archival framing and preservation of documents and paintings.
  protecting that which is above the mat, such as a wrestling or gymnastics mat, or an anti-vibration mat.
  changing the state of that which passes above it, such as a doormat attracting dirt from shoes.
In domestic settings:
  A doormat is a flat, usually rectangular object placed immediately outside or inside the entrance to a house or other building, to allow people to easily scrub or wipe the soles of their shoes before entering. Doormats are usually made from tough, long-lasting material such as coir, palmyra (palm tree) fibres and stalks, nylon, rubber, cloth, or aluminium and other metals. Doormats may also be known as welcome mats, as their location at an entrance constitutes a "welcome" to visitors, and may therefore also bear some word, message or sign of greeting. This in turn has given rise to a subculture of cartoons featuring characters returning home to find (to the reader) a humorous message on the doormat. The lowly purpose for which doormats exist has also led to informal use of the term as a reference to people who behave timidly or passively when exploited by others (see also Caspar Milquetoast).
A bath mat is a device used on the floor of a bathroom to provide a warm non-slip surface, and to absorb small amounts of water, much like a towel.
Place mats or serving mats are flat piece of fabric or other material used on a table at the points at which dishes and plates will be located during a meal. One common purpose of such mats is to provide a thermal and physical


I hope that clears that up...

You people have some funny ideas.

_____________________________

Memory Lane...been there done that.

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 2:21:52 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

A doormat in my view does not mean someone that is passive in their acceptance of positive things but someone who may not have the ability to speak out even against unhealthy choices made on their behalf and does not speak out or even point out those things. 


This was the nicest way I have ever seen this put.  Well done, laurell.  I get tired of all the disparaging remarks made, as though someone without this ability must somehow be abolished from the earth, lol.  Typically, calling someone a "doormat" is way of insulting them for not meeting someone else's standards.

I also agree with LA.  There are times I have functioned as a doormat, as part of my service to to my Master - both metaphorically and literally (although he prefers a foot rest, he said).  I am happy being anything for him, so when he wants me to shut up and do something without thought, regardless of what I feel, I do so.  As I've said before, slap a daisy on my ass and let me say Welcome!

Doormat does not inherently mean something bad, in my opinion.  It might be unhealthy.  It might also be the healthiest thing for a person at that time.


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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 2:23:05 PM   
AnnabelHell


Posts: 36
Joined: 10/14/2007
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline 		I, personally, think a doormat is someone who cannot excersize personal common sense or choice in or out of a relationship. A doormat is someone who is beyond submissive, or even a slave; someone who ends up Dominated by anyone and everyone willing to use them, and even by life itself. Someone who will do what they are told in any situation regardless of if it is abusive, illegal, bad for them, etc. A real doormat has no personal voice and no ability to make good personal decisions.

One of the first rules of submission and slavery that I teach is: A slave must always take care of property. Even if currently unowned you are taking care of what will one day belong to someone else. You always have a responsibility to care for yourself, inside and out.

A doormat can't do that. They need someone to do it for them, but often end up in abusive relationships where they are destroyed because they cannot differentiate between healthy and not. Many pretend fantasy type Dominants on the internet can lead new people astray into thinking this kind of absolute obedience without any personal choice or thought what-so-ever is appropriate and you're a bad sub or slave if you aren't like this. Hogwash, in my opinion. Any bottom, regardless of how submissive, has a responsibility to think and make good choices for themselves; especially when becoming or being a slave.

The caveat to this statement is one can choose to be a doormat. To want to be so submissive there is no choice, a slave, giving up all right to choice. Choosing to be one is one thing and more acceptable in my book than actually being one psychologically. Making this choice is a lot different than having no choice or having the mental-set that makes you one automatically without being able to think for yourself. Being a true doormat is dangerous and often requires actual behavioral therapy and help developing self-awareness and self-value, far more than needing a Good Dominant.

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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 2:28:08 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: cacodylic

quote:

ORIGINAL: tootsiepop
I'm sorry but this is directed to Master's, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's... or did I get the heading wrong?

Thanks...

I was chastized by the previous poster for wanting to direct this question to Dominant's... for it is Their definitions I am interested in. Which is why I posted in 'ASK A MASTER' and not in 'ASK A SUBMISSIVE'... if this offends, so sorry.


Get used to it lol


There are no rules for posting in reply based on role or sections of the forums and you may find that you actually get some very balanced perspective from those in roles where you least expect it.  Threads here aren't actually under the OP's control or only about the OP but also about the generation of discussion and exchange of ideas. 

In response to LA's post, which is insightful as always, I'm not sure what you describe would fit my idea of what a doormat is as you made a conscious choice to trust and acquiese to those who were beneficial to you.  A doormat in my view does not mean someone that is passive in their acceptance of positive things but someone who may not have the ability to speak out even against unhealthy choices made on their behalf and does not speak out or even point out those things. 


I'z a got to agree with laurell on this point as well....It is not a decision that is reached through "healthy" introspection. It is someone who lacks, through whatever forces have been at work, the ability to reach or rationalize an independent thought or take an action.

Then again, for just getting the smoke blown out of your pipes...A doormat might just be what the Dr. ordered.

_____________________________



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RE: Definition of Doormat? - 12/24/2007 2:42:18 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tootsiepop

I'm sorry but this is directed to Master's, Mistresses, Dominants, Domme's... or did I get the heading wrong?

Thanks...

I was chastized by the previous poster for wanting to direct this question to Dominant's... for it is Their definitions I am interested in. Which is why I posted in 'ASK A MASTER' and not in 'ASK A SUBMISSIVE'... if this offends, so sorry.

Why would your narrow view points ( as in limiting your answers ) be thought of as offensive? Fuck, you would get a better array of thoughts if you allowed yourself to NOT be a doormat and opened up your options to include everyone.

But, some people enjoy being told by strangers what they can and can not do.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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